Open Post: Hosted By Weston Cage's Hot Karate Moves
Weston Cage, the spawn of Nicolas Cage and Dementia (second GLOW reference of the day!), has earned half a dozen fuckery points for doing the following in the span of just a few weeks:
- Weston issued a goth prince beat down on his babysitter while having salads together. Two men in white coats threw a gigantic net over Weston and dragged him off to the crazy ward. The doctors promised to give him an Emily the Strange plastic lunchbox if he cooled the crazy. He did, and now guess which lucky boy keeps all his Urban Decay lash paints in an Emily the Strange lunchbox?
- Weston got arrested for fighting with his knocked up wife (who admitted to getting her fetus drunk during the fight) and later burped out some words of wisdom when he said that nobody should get married.
- While hanging out with the mother of his child in Hollywood last night, Weston showed us that he pulled some "Morticia Addams to Uncle Fester" shit by shaving all of his luxurious hair off and donating it to the Warlocks of Love.
Basically, the point I'm trying to make is that dude had a Brit Brit breakdown on basement-made meth. It took Weston just a few weeks to do what took Brit Brit a couple of months. We're all inpatient assholes, so don't you just love it when the crazy speeds up?
And Weston gave us a bonus last night when busted out some karate kicks in broken tap shoes and Hammer pants. Let's all back up, because nobody wants to mess with a goth genie who can kick an eyeliner pencil out of your hand and then use it to reapply his in the ladies room. Wax on, bitch!
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Submitted by nayacat on Thu, 07/14/2011 - 3:43pm.
My man is 51 and getting AARP cards. I am 40, but they think I'm the same age so I keep getting those offers too. What a diabolical database!
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Me too! I got an AARP card when I turned 40. Never made any sense to me.
How embarrassing to be married to that girly man, and to be carrying his drunken fetus. Like the little thing had a chance even if momster wasn't on the hooch. Can you begin to imagine the level of crazy the unborn one has running through it's veins? Let's ask uncle Kal-El... or not.
LOL...I actually held that hot mess when he was a baby...I was working on a TV show with his mom and he was about 1 1/2 at the time. Some trashy cable show.
Submitted by becky n sydney on Thu, 07/14/2011 - 11:19pm.
What's the new pic?
Horshack test. *snort*
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Thu, 07/14/2011 - 10:59pm.
The French-kissing weirded him out.
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Then you should have kept your tongue to yourself!
What's the new pic?
Submitted by becky n sydney on Thu, 07/14/2011 - 10:55pm.
The French-kissing weirded him out.
Submitted by Echo27 on Thu, 07/14/2011 - 10:52pm.
I don't know if anyone's said this yet, but in these pictures he reminds me of Mac from It's Always Sunny when they do the Nightman Cometh.
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You are right! He looks like Mac
That ep is freaking awesome!
@ RustyHooligan
Where's mah puppah doggeh gone?!!??
I don't know if anyone's said this yet, but in these pictures he reminds me of Mac from It's Always Sunny when they do the Nightman Cometh.
How come his mom is the chaperon?
No sake for me, pigging out on birthday cake (chocolate mousse peanut butter something) with whipped cream. Have a slab! *points can into open mouth*
What are you hot sluts up to?? On my 5th-ish sake shot or so maybe and stuff. Heading to bed after I barf. TGIF errybods
Weston needs to be permanently tranq'ed.
Submitted by Sweetas on Thu, 07/14/2011 - 6:24pm.
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Damn, right? "...the whites of her eyes"!!!!!!!!
Oh.shit.hold.me.
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Hell, everything would be better with stick ponies-MK
urmomma OMG!!! Okies are not the ones!! We both know this. ♥
Casey Anthony is soooo screwed! Good luck with that.
http://www.newson6.com/story/15084225/woman-mistaken-for-casey-anthony-a...
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Hell, everything would be better with stick ponies-MK
What?! EEG did not seek medical attention?!
DAMMIT EEG!
*revs engine to stolen ambulance*
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Hell, everything would be better with stick ponies-MK
Uncle Brain-fart -- sorry to hear about your son. Same thing happened to my brother when he was little.
EastEndGirl -- OH MY GOD, girl, get yourself to the ER -- NOW!!! And exactly how would you get yourself to the ER if you lost all vision? Fuck, that's not good! You don't want to wait until you have a stroke or worse. GO NOW!!!!!!!!!! If you lived in the Chicago suburbs I'd come and get you and take you myself!
See? I told y'all that I miss all the important shit!
Jack, take better care of yourself please and thank you. I would be left with all these one-eyed jokes. And be forced to put some innocent person's eye out just to have a release. C'mon, think of others from time to time. And why didn't you call, you know I would have come by and picked you up in my stolen ambulance. I keep the head nurse in a trunk in the back. And you know I only stock pot, lube and beer for the i.v.drip. Damn.
*squeezes jack*
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Hell, everything would be better with stick ponies-MK
*serenades CTH* ♪Don't gooooo changin, to try and please me, you've never let me down befooooore♫ Seriously mama, don't you dare change. The day we start wearing puffy paint santa sweatshirts is the day we die inside. Mad love!! And @ guest...(((HUGS))) for that but no, up it a decade. I'm just reeeeaally immature lol. ;)
WT what UBF said.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Ditquoi...I cannot believe you found your ring!!! That is awesome. I had a mild panic attack just reading that.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
jack-n-the-hat -- OMG, I'm glad you're better. I have issues with chronic dehydration and land in the ER every few months. It really wears you out and you feel really sick. Take care of yourself, okay? We need your snark here!
@WT: I agree with UBF but would take it a step further and find/put up a child's potty-training sign that emphasizes the importance of flushing.
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'Let's eat Grandma!' or, 'Let's eat, Grandma!' Punctuation saves lives. Use it. Save a life.
MK you went all the way in on this one! This is epic and the best caption ever. LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@WT
I would put a sign on the toilet. "look Motherfucker, you`re cool, but your turds offend me. Flush that shit.
Don`t just wait it out. Thats just plain nasty. Embarrassment is the best teaching tool sometimes...
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"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
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http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs
I rarely venture into OP, but I am hijacking this post for the moment because I need the infinite wisdom of the D to assist me.
Okay so I have this roommate, with whom I share one of the bathrooms in our house. He's subletting until the end of August. He's pretty cool overall, but has this one awful awful awful habit...forgetting to flush after #2. Maybe once I could forgive, but this has happened like 4 times so there's no way it's an accident. Honestly it's gross and I can't put up with it any more.
HELP! I'm at my wits end. What do I do? confront him about it? Ignore it (since he IS leaving at the end of August) and just keep bleaching the toilet after every, er, time? Leave a sign on the bathroom door or toilet lid?
:(
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""There is no chicken or egg. It's molecular." - Lady Gaga
Submitted by Chirio on Thu, 07/14/2011 - 3:11pm.
I will probably get flamed for this...but I have found that men of God end up being the worst. I have been friends and of *ahem* dated a few and they were the biggest dogs...and no where NEAR virgins.
My apologies to those I offended.
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
Weston is bringing the dramz to the scene like an old skool Courtney Love without the Hole. Tone it down dude, you dad's $$$ is going straight to the IRS and you have no one to bust your azz out of county. Shit gets real in county, Weston.
My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens...and weasels.
Jack - WHAT? No response?
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!
Submitted by Bjork You on Thu, 07/14/2011 - 3:44pm.
it was a miracle! I'd testify if I went to church :D
Submitted by nayacat on Thu, 07/14/2011 - 3:43pm.
My man is 51 and getting AARP cards. I am 40, but they think I'm the same age so I keep getting those offers too. What a diabolical database!
Heh. I got something from AARP LAST year when I was 37.
Submitted by YeahYeahYeah on Thu, 07/14/2011 - 3:32pm.
you really said that to her? awesome.
*guitar riff*
Submitted by ditquoi on Thu, 07/14/2011 - 2:53pm: "ok Bjork, since you asked :)"
What, do you have Man from Atlantis toes?!?! Glad to read that you got your ring.
My man is 51 and getting AARP cards. I am 40, but they think I'm the same age so I keep getting those offers too. What a diabolical database!
Weston needs a severe ass-kicking/beatdown. His toughness is all in his own mind, and he needs to realize it.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Thu, 07/14/2011 - 3:07pm.
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Submitted into evidence as A1. You may proceed.
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I'm beligerent when drunk. I said the following: go home to your children, is this how you use your welfare?, I could pop out 8 babies from my twat too but I would never do that much less for attention, babies shouldnt be treated as commodities. I'd imagine there was a ton of expletives in there.
GOD DAMN YOU JACK!!!!!!!!!!!!
*slaps Nicoderm CQ patches on both arms, ass, and each thigh*
YOU AREN'T GETTING AWAY FROM US AS EASILY AS YOU DID YOUR EX WIFE YOU BASTARD!!!!!!!!!
Wow. He looks just like his father in that wind up kick. She looks too obvious for him, but then look at his mom....
A drunk pregnant woman fighting? They belong on Springer.
Submitted by Chirio on Thu, 07/14/2011 - 3:11pm.
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Not necessarily, if he got laid before he swore an oath of celibacy then he's no virgin. That's if in fact his religion requires a oath of celibacy.
Dress up like an altar boy and see if he hits on you.
Oh man, MK, this post had me laughing my ass off. Thanks for that.
HOOOOla everybody!! quick question...I..wait..this friend of mine ahem likes this guy who is super shy and I think he likes me...I mean likes her.but since you are all people of GOD...he is a man of GOD. does that mean he is a virgin? just asking. maybe I should take this to chatroulette. nevermind. you all go back to your Godly things. lol gotta go zoom zoom!
Coma Caca!
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haha Oxygen! you fuckers will know if I kick it. My bestie or GP would let jacko or snowy know. NO way in hell would they get my login for here!
http://oi53.tinypic.com/2ylvjbk.jpg
AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAA
Submitted by YeahYeahYeah on Thu, 07/14/2011 - 3:05pm.
Heres a pic my friend took.
http://tinypic.com/r/2ylvjbk/7
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Submitted into evidence as A1. You may proceed.
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 07/14/2011 - 2:56pm.
the look on my face must have been priceless because she (the doc) BUSTED out laughing... while I continued to stare and *blink*.
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Dude, next time I have to go in I'm gonna walk in with a fucking metal collander on my head, do some air nipple twists, some squealy radio frequency voice "Boop Boop Doops" and click my heels 3 times before telling that "Okay, I'm looking at you from the f*cking future...to make sure you don't fuck my shit up! Proceed!"
Submitted by YeahYeahYeah on Thu, 07/14/2011 - 3:01pm.
Have pic of her being shoved into a limo. Turns out it was her birthday outing. No wonder her friend was coming at me.
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Please provide a transcript of your exchange. Are there any eyewitnesses who can corroborate your story? Are there any nudes? Please answer the questions miss.
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Fishy...stop saying 50 & aarp!!!! Lol. I really don't know if that makes you a boomer.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.