R.I.P. Desperate Housewives

The show that is partially responsible for planting the demon seed that created the collagen vine of crazy called the Real Housewives will be thrown into the TV graveyard in May after 8 seasons. Deadline says that Teri Snatcher will have to find a new show to live out her stripper fantasies and Marc Cherry will have to find new actresses to bitch slap in the face, because ABC is killing that shit the same way Marcia Cross killed all the feeling in her face with Botox. 51 million people to still watch that mess worldwide and it still makes money, so who knows why they are dumping it.

I still watch every single episode of Desperate Housewives and I still don't know why. After I watch an episode I get that same feeling I get whenever I wash my hands before fapping: WHY? What's the point? Maybe I keep Desperate Housewives in my Tivo, because it's there and sometimes it has hot man nipples. Basically, those are the same reasons why some of you still read this site.

The only way for DH to end is for us to find out that Bree Van de Kamp is actually Dr. Kimberly Shaw in the Witness Protection Program and bitch goes crazy again which causes her to blow up Wisteria Lane. The last shot should be of Kimberly Shaw ripping off her ginger wig while those hos burns alive in one of the houses. It's the only right way for it to end.

And since it's Friday, let me help you out. "That fucking shit is still on?" There, just copy and paste that into the comments instead of straining your fingers by typing it out letter by letter. I love you, too!

Posted by: Michael K

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Another One Bites The Dust

Submitted by vernongye on Sat, 12/03/2011 - 8:40pm.

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Submitted by freshfacestripper on Sat, 08/06/2011 - 1:30pm.

i watch it too and i dont know why?? DAMMMIT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Submitted by Few Words on Sat, 08/06/2011 - 7:52am.

crawl back into your coffins bitches
ha ha ha

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Submitted by TwatsThat on Sat, 08/06/2011 - 7:45am.

I agree, the four main ho's (with the occasional exception of Felicity H) were unbearable. The fun characters were always the supporting ones. Loved Mrs. McCluskey.

And Felicia was THE SHIT. Crazy old bitch. Harriet Samson Harris is totally genius.

I also liked Paul Young. He may have been a killer and a creep, but he was very DILFy and I wanted on that in the worst way. (Yes, I would hit that.)

I am all about Vanessa Williams but she was wasted here last year, and the costumer must have had a serious vendetta against her. She was much better used on Ugly Betty....a show that was cancelled far too soon.

Submitted by LisaRose on Sat, 08/06/2011 - 5:21am.

I can happily say I never saw one minute of this series and am all the better off I think!!

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Visit my husband's webcomic DUNGEON HORDES at http://www.drunkduck.com/dungeon_hordes
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Submitted by Stan Hooper on Sat, 08/06/2011 - 5:19am.

Only watched up to season when Laurie Metcalf was on. She was awesome!!

Show was dead after that.

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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie

Submitted by Bo on Sat, 08/06/2011 - 5:15am.

My favorite show is Dexter, because he goes around stabbing people to death like these jerks! Bye bye ladies! Look over your shoulder, Dex might be there.

Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Sat, 08/06/2011 - 4:44am.

My mom is going to be sad. My dad is going to celebrate. "Your mother . . . She makes me watch that . . . What it is called? Desperate Housewives? And that Dr. McDreamy." *grumbles* LOL

People who have been married forever are funny.

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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate

Submitted by Bossy on Sat, 08/06/2011 - 4:23am.

But I love Vanessa Williams! She was so perfect in "Ugly Betty" and that got cancelled, now this. BOOO. Put Vanessa in something fabulous and with a long air life.

Submitted by Bossy on Sat, 08/06/2011 - 4:23am.

But I love Vanessa Williams! She was so perfect in "Ugly Betty" and that got cancelled, now this. BOOO. Put Vanessa in something fabulous and with a long air life.

Submitted by MickeyHolland on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 10:11pm.

I gave up on this show after the first episode of season 2. By then, it was painfully clear already that the writers were at a loss. Then again, 'gimmick' shows like DH (the death housewife speaking to us from beyond the grave) are unlikely to ever make it as long as this one did.

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"It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err."

Mahatma Gandhi

Submitted by Condi the ingro... on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 9:47pm.

Heh. I know someone who worked on the show and he said that all these women are horrible. They hate each other, never speak to each other off camera, and insist on being photographed individually and then photoshopped into group pictures (see above).

Actually, come to think of it, the only one he said was nice was Vanessa Williams, but she only talked to the crew.

I'm surprised this mess is still on the air.

Submitted by Jon on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 9:46pm.

It would be so beyond awesome if Bree suddenly ripped off her wig and declared herself Dr. Kimberly Shaw. It would be the BEST series finale EVER!

I...wanna Rock N Roll all Nite...and party everyday.

Submitted by Jintess on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 9:25pm.

How Eva can get someone as hot as Eduardo Cruz is beyond me. Doesn't Penelope have beautiful, talented friends she can introduce him to?

http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-5-things-to-know-about-eduardo-cruz-ev...

Submitted by Hysteria on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 9:11pm.

At last they slashed this mediocre mess. Filler swill at best.

Bring on the next platter of crap.
.
.

Submitted by stefystef on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 8:54pm.

This show jumped the shark after Season 3.
This is the best thing ABC did because really the show was just going through the motions and those who were still watching it just did it out of habit.

It was on the air 6 years too long.

Buh-bye!

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All together now: FUCK MY LIFE. - The One-and-Only Michael K- 6/17/11

Submitted by TimC on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 8:15pm.

Who are the women in the picture? I only recognize the redhead. The two on the right look way to good to be Lois Lane and Felicity Huffman. And the mermaid dress looks like a fat little maid from Juarez (and no, I don't think that is an accurate description of Eva).

That show sucked from the get-go, although I did watch it sometimes the first season for lack of anything better to do or watch on winter Sunday nights in the crappy city I used to live in (my TV only got 4 stations, and 2 of them were christian shit programming). But the second year I just decided to sit in the dark in silence.

Submitted by bookworm on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 7:42pm.

I HATE that show! I have tried to watch a few episodes but I just can't!

Submitted by Dirk Diggler on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 7:03pm.

That fucking shit is still on?

Submitted by dementa on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 6:55pm.

Wait, does anyone care? This shitty-ass series jumped the shark after 3 episodes.

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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

Submitted by Chucks on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 6:50pm.

Wait, it was still on?

Submitted by Just_Me on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 6:40pm.

I for one will miss the show, although it really hasn't been the same since Edie Britt left at the end of season 5. The actresses all seem as though they are bored now and the show seems out of step with the times.

Submitted by WhiskeyTango on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 6:36pm.

Mermaid Dress: You're Doing It Wrong.

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""There is no chicken or egg. It's molecular." - Lady Gaga

Submitted by Freak Speely on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 6:35pm.

Oh well. The cast is turning into the prequel to the Golden Girls anyway.

-.-
The internet, where the men are real men,
the women are real men, and the children are the FBI.

Submitted by Danistar on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 5:58pm.

Haha! This show will never re-capture the magic and whoredome of what was 'Sex and the City.'

"I make myself sick, get on my own nerves. Immature, insecure grown up nerd."
-Fatlip (The Pharcyde)

Submitted by christine the hoff on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 5:49pm.

meh, I totally watched the first season, then it just went to shit. good riddance, especially to longwhoria.. she's a big pile of nothing.
love Felicity, but she can do better.

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Oh God ,why don't you go sit under a rainbow and write a poem, Kyle.

Submitted by Who Datt on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 5:45pm.

...and somewhere Nicolette Sheridan dances a jig at the altar of Nemesis. Revenge is sweeter and colder than a freezer full of creamsicles.

Submitted by Tinam on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 5:45pm.

Good riddance. If anything happened to Dlisted, I would slit my wrists.

It's all fun and games until Wino gets to the gates of purgatory and slurs out, "HELLO, ATHENS!" ----MK

Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 5:45pm.

This. fucking. shit. is. still. on?

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Submitted by the_hot_chick on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 5:43pm.

I hated Desperate Housewives. Based on the few episodes I saw, I thought that it was a shitty attempt to rip off Sex and the City.

Like some producer (Marc Cherry?) thought, "We'll take SATC and put it in the suburbs. Then, we'll use played out story lines from day time soap operas. Gold!!!" SMDH.

I hated them all but Bree. Her cold-hearted bitchiness resonated with me.

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An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.

Submitted by Schunathy on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 5:40pm.

That fucking shit is still on?

Submitted by NDNchief on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 5:36pm.

"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-

"That fucking shit is still on?"

Submitted by pumps on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 5:22pm.

Good riddance !!!!
Weirdest thing i remember about this show, was a tv-show in Belgium, to see who the smartest person was... And a 13!!!!!! y.o. girl whose life centered around that shit won. Sick, sad world.

"I want total sensory deprivation and back-up drugs!"

Submitted by Neurotic on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 5:06pm.

Submitted by Mrs. Voorhees on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 5:50pm.

I am being held prisoner in the woods of Western Maryland. No weed, no dick and family (who enjoy watching golf--which is actually even worse than playing golf). These assholes think "Modern Family" is edge-y.
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Oh man, I cannot stand Modern Family.

I feel like the asshole at work for it too, because apparently it's the best shit ever, but I cannot even muster a giggle when I see a scene of it.

Maybe a few years from now it will be funny. I don't know.

All I know is that Desperate Housewives had some really cool supporting characters. I could not stand Susan, nor all the other howives, but their families and neighbours ruled and kept me watching.

Submitted by parissucksliterally on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 4:45pm.

LONG overdue.

RIP Eva Longoria's career.

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I know I have a fickle heart
And a bitterness, and a wandering eye and a heaviness in my head.....
- Adele

Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 4:41pm.

Watched only one episode ever, and it was shit.

Good riddance.

Submitted by howdareyou on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 4:38pm.

"That fucking shit is still on?"

Thank you, Michael K, I love you madly and that's why I read this site.

Hopefully, this will lead to the cancellation of the Realitard Housewives, and realitard tv in general.

Submitted by daisy100 on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 4:32pm.

that made me sad mk! everyone that comes to your site, never leaves because you are a freakin' genius hilarious ho! don't ever say anything like that again.

Submitted by louise_brooks on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 4:23pm.

What is wrong with Eva Longoria's neck/head situation in that picture?

Submitted by Mrs. Voorhees on Sat, 08/06/2011 - 5:12pm.

Submitted by joe shmoe on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 4:19pm.

I love Felicity Huffman, but not enough to watch this crapfest.

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Jamais Loin

Submitted by Neurotic on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 4:18pm.

I do think that losing Eddie was a big mistake, because she was way more interesting than any guest mystery neighbour they brought in every damn season.

I stopped at around season 6, but plan on resuming it just for the sake of completion and I was one of those people who could not stand the show, with all the acclaim it was getting, at a time I had no time to watch it, and then watched it several years later. It pissed me off that I liked it so much, but I had to deal with the fact that this was an entertaining show I could watch when bored :P

(Just like Mad Men...)

Submitted by taliaann on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 4:14pm.

They FINALLY drove a stake into that thing?!?!?! About freaking time!

Submitted by nightowl on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 4:13pm.

I was about to say, "who watches this shit?" but then I read that 51 still watch it. That sounds like 51 million too many to me.

Submitted by sushi on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 4:12pm.

I only watched Season 1 & 2 and then quit that bitch. It just became so fucking stupid.

Submitted by zomay on Fri, 08/05/2011 - 4:08pm.

From the makers of Desperate Housewives comes ABC's newest hit series Desperate retirement home people. Watch the naughty antics of the assisted living set! Sundays on fucking ABC.