R.I.P. Desperate Housewives

The show that is partially responsible for planting the demon seed that created the collagen vine of crazy called the Real Housewives will be thrown into the TV graveyard in May after 8 seasons. Deadline says that Teri Snatcher will have to find a new show to live out her stripper fantasies and Marc Cherry will have to find new actresses to bitch slap in the face, because ABC is killing that shit the same way Marcia Cross killed all the feeling in her face with Botox. 51 million people to still watch that mess worldwide and it still makes money, so who knows why they are dumping it.

I still watch every single episode of Desperate Housewives and I still don’t know why. After I watch an episode I get that same feeling I get whenever I wash my hands before fapping: WHY? What’s the point? Maybe I keep Desperate Housewives in my Tivo, because it’s there and sometimes it has hot man nipples. Basically, those are the same reasons why some of you still read this site.

The only way for DH to end is for us to find out that Bree Van de Kamp is actually Dr. Kimberly Shaw in the Witness Protection Program and bitch goes crazy again which causes her to blow up Wisteria Lane. The last shot should be of Kimberly Shaw ripping off her ginger wig while those hos burns alive in one of the houses. It’s the only right way for it to end.

And since it’s Friday, let me help you out. “That fucking shit is still on?” There, just copy and paste that into the comments instead of straining your fingers by typing it out letter by letter. I love you, too!