Is That Jeremy Irons’ Hand On Your Ass? Oh, He’s Just Being Friendly!

If you’re a woman who should ever find Jeremy Irons’ hand cupping your nalgas without a verbal permission slip, there’s no need to reenact everyone’s favorite sexual harassment PSA by telling him that you don’t have to take it! Jeremy is just being friendly. Jeremy doesn’t believe in tooth bleach and he also doesn’t believe that an ass pat is worth getting the law involved.

Jeremy told Britain’s Radio Times (via CM) that he thinks women nowadays are way too quick to scream ADULT MOLESTATION when a man gently patty cakes them on the ass cheek. Jeremy blames political correctness.

“It’s gone too far. There are too many people in power with too little to do, so they churn out laws to justify their jobs.

I hope it’s a rash that will wear itself out. If a man puts his hand on a woman’s bottom, any woman worth her salt can deal with it. It’s communication. Can’t we be friendly?”

Jeremy is completely right and it doesn’t make him an old skeeze geezer pervert for saying so. Men were given hands to shake the hands of other men during business deals and to fix cars or some shit. Women were given hands to cook meals, change diapers and work a stripper pole. Women folk can’t say “hi” with their hands, because they should have their hands full of pie dough, babies and stripper poles! So a man has no choice but to say “hi” by shaking a lady’s ass cheek. This is from the natural laws of DUH!

And a lady can obviously return the “hi” by kneeing Jeremy. I would say “by macing him,” but again, you should have BABIES!!!! in your hands, not mace!

And I don’t know why I’m acting like women are actually reading this. They should be too busy getting ready for TUBE TOP TUESDAYS at the office. (Serious note: I really wish Dlisted’s offices had TUBE TOP TUESDAYS.)