Who Worked It Better?
On the right is a then 42-year-old Pamela Anderson reliving her Baywatch glory days at a fashion show in 2009, and on the left is 16-year-old porn iguana Courtney Stodden channeling Pamela Anderson in a new photo shoot that took place on the docks using a disposable camera. And if you have a vagina, down below is your chocha cringing at the sight of one of its own getting gagged with a string of red polyester.
It goes without blogging, but Pamela Anderson wins this round and she'll also win again in 30 years when she's wearing the same coochie-choking bathing suit while she drags her saggy labia across the hallway floor of the retirement home for old whores. Pamela might be as rode hard as a mudflap girl on a semi-truck, but she is the petal on a freshly bloomed spring peony compared to Courtney. If you watched a lizard with no birth hole try to lay an egg through its mouth, it still wouldn't look like it was trying as hard as Courtney is in this photo shoot.
Speaking of trying hard, HuffPo has pointed me to the priceless Twatter House of Courtney Stodden. It's like reading an uncomfortable and illegal erotic novel that was inspired by the online chats from To Catch A Predator:
I love these steamy mornings that allow you to erotically roll out of bed in nothing but your cheeky string bikini. Mmm, how electrifying!Just returned from a lovely Sunday morning service @ church today. Kickin back at home now while sporting a HOT mini-retro-jumper! CLASSIC!
Stepped my paws into a sexy wet cat-suit; Prowling mysteriously around the house while lickin' my lips searchin' for some nip! (Ed. note: RACIST!) MEEEOWWW! ;-)
A soft sensation sweetly kisses my body as I prepare for a sexy hot photo shoot this afternoon. What a breathtaking morning it has been! ;-)
Slowly slipping under these sensuous silk covers as I lie down in bed & entertain myself w/the classic movie "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes". XOs
I really should hit Courtney and Doug Hutchison (who probably is the one who wrote those Tweets) with a copyright infringement lawsuit, because this is pretty much the same awkward, opposite of sexy shit I used to write when I worked as a typist for web cam girls back in the day. No wonder they fired my ass.
Of course Pam worked it better back in the day.
Just gonna jump in here and say that's the hardest lookin 16 yr old I ever did see. She literally looks like my upstairs neighbor who was big in B movies for a split second back in the 70s.
I read her Twitter page and she is obviously 16 (or mildly retarded) because no 35 year old woman would talk like that and think she was being sexy. lol
Where is this "photo shoot" taking place? It looks like the broad is in some random ally and the "photographer" is probably Doug with a disposable camera...Mmm, how electrifying!
Looks like this underage hag has 3 lumpy tits...ewwwww
They both look busted.
OMG that is wayy to much labia.
Looking at that side by side, I think Pam looks closer to being the chick in my avie two short years ago.
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"Your ignorance makes me ill and angry. Your savageness...must...end."
I'm watching all of you...HAVE SOME DAMN LEMONADE!
LOLLLOLOL whore!! "prowling mysteriously" ROTFFLOL!!
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"You dumb bitch, I am home." -MK to Brooke's crybaby 'daddy-puts-the-lotion' ass
"Mmm... My rock-hard abs work perfectly as a delicious goodie dish! ;-x"
djasdjahsjdhas
What the fuck!?!?
Who talks about her own body that way???? It's like those descriptions of the girls on pron websites. Um. Not that I have seen them...just, you know, I've *heard* that's what they are like. :> "My name is Debbie and I'm a naughty girl who really loves it when a *hawt guy* uses my rock-hard abs as a delicious goodie dish." etc. It's too...non-personal. Is that the word I'm looking for? Like...the descriptor just seems so forced? Like "Ok, now we have to get in there that she has great abs."
Nah, this is bullshit. Someone else is writing her Tweets for her. It's some sort of PR thing so that people will watch her most assuredly shitastic "reality" show. I don't think she's 16 either, but this is all kinds of wrong, even if she's 40.
p.s. - you guys are cracking me up tonight...I said electrifyingly as I sat seductively in my sexy armchair whilst caressing my sensual ankle socks and lovingy itching the skin rash on my HOT arm.
Pamela's body has seen better days its time for her to act her age and stop acting and looking like a fool.
"i'm a peaceful guy with bad intentions"
charlie sheen
They do have the same boob-job. *snicker*
At least Pammy's suit has more coverage and she still has a sweet smile.
Courtney's mentally self-snookered sneer just kills me every time and the gyno frontal-thong is extra yeasty.
She really believes she's all that and a sack o' chips (toro-chips, that is).
16? The hair extensions are at least that old.
In 2 years she will be the biggest self produced porn asset in the world
In 2 years she will be the biggest self produced porn asset in the world
This girl and her pepaw hubby are my new fav train wreck. I wonder though if this is all a hoax.
Courtney is the CDAN of sessy talk.
It's not illegal to read that because I still stand by my belief that....SHE IS NOT 16...Hasn't been nowhere near around 16 for some odd YEARS.
It's not illegal, it's just painful...who the fuck writes that shit. Literally, it sounds like the most shitty romantic novel trash ever that my grandma use to read when she would go to the bathroom.
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Angels say they can make you suffer.They give and take like a vicious lover .When all this loses meaning, You'll never want it back somehow"-Neverending White Lights (The Grace)
"Don't put it on me, girl!"
Submitted by Datura on Tue, 08/16/2011 - 12:19pm.
This post makes me want to get a Twitter account.
"The steamy air from the moldy, office AC kissed my body as I mysteriously reached for my stapler. I'm sporting a sexy turtle-neck sweater and skin tight mom jeans over my cheeky period panties!"
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LOL!
♥ Threadkilla!
Lean Like a Chola, Celebrity Stylez: http://youtu.be/0ZwdYeGSVS0
Did anyone notice that she is not writing those "wondrous" twats and those are the product of the sick mind that is doing a reality show of this fuckery?
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Tue, 08/16/2011 - 4:18pm.
louise_brooks -- good god, if I tried to roll erotically out of bed, I'd probably experience pain from those collapsed disks in my back; I, too, would trip over the cat; and throw something on to wear, as what I was wearing had to be thrown off in the middle of the night because of fucking hot flashes. Wow, that sounds so erotic, doesn't it?
(Courtney Stodden voice) Oooooh yeah. Mmmmhmmm...HOTT
*creepy eye roll and duck lips*
I think I've found my calling as a Courtney Stodden birther. I wanna see this bitch's birth certificate!
I'd hate for my 17 yr old son to read the tweets of a 16 yr old.
Is is legal for adults to read this or is a felony happening here?
wow. it's like she can't wait to turn 18 so she can trade Doug for Hugh Hefner!
louise_brooks -- good god, if I tried to roll erotically out of bed, I'd probably experience pain from those collapsed disks in my back; I, too, would trip over the cat; and throw something on to wear, as what I was wearing had to be thrown off in the middle of the night because of fucking hot flashes. Wow, that sounds so erotic, doesn't it?
That is just too much. I can't even see her as a person. When I look at her, I just see PATHOLOGY. She reminds me of Anna Nicole and Traci Lords and the old timey porn star Savannah and all those messed-up little girls who were abused horribly.
The hypersexuality is a dead giveaway that she was sexually abused. (yes, I always say this about her, but it's so painfully obvious, JESUS) Probably her daddy. *dry heaves*
Submitted by ditquoi on Tue, 08/16/2011 - 1:06pm.
the only good news about this trash is that the Illuminati clearly are slipping. their sexbots and the coke snorting pervs who handled them used to be less obvious.
¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥
Yes. Not to mention the smell of desperation and low IQ reeks like sewage. Truly beautiful women and men have no sewage aftertaste. Epic fail Lucifer.
The last thing I want to do on this glorious day is think about this chick. The whole story is depressing. Please go away, you and your ugly old man.
Submitted by Bjork You on Tue, 08/16/2011 - 12:27pm.
Thing is, Pamela Anderson is pretty. I've seen her with her face scrubbed. Poor Courtney is average, at best. She and her husband should lie in bed and check out Peter Bogdonavich's "Star 80."
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Pam Anderson was really beautiful when she was a teen. At 22, she was spotted at a baseball game, picked out because she was naturally pretty. She had freckles and was really fresh faced. http://lchan.org/rezu/src/1228757880984.jpg
Point is Pam looked way better younger and older than this trick.
Like I said, this girl thinks is doing some real bad Anna Nicole Smith method acting.
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If I were Doug Hutchinson I would be savoring my imaginary bliss and counting the moments to cuckoldom.
That bathing suit looks uncomfortable!! Do they realized that they are the new Heidi & Spencer: No one take them seriously, they are a freak show and she is ny no means an actress/singer.
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In bullshitanese, "no comment" means "fuck yes." Michael K
Not 16, has a dick. That is all.
"When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better." ~Mae West
As my finger sensually manipulates the computer mouse, I direct my smoldering gaze upon the computer screen and cannot help but think........
WTF??? This woman is crazy, horrible, awful, yucky
and disturbing. BUT... I do love her HOT mini-retro-jumper! CLASSIC!
Reality show? Great! This will send the much needed message to society that you're never too young to be an oversexed hooker, and that adult men should consider teen girls fair game for sex, not taboo. All we need now are some incest and rape reality shows!
She is not 16 and I think her "mom" is really her sister. This is all for publicity and her and Doug are not doing sexy times.
Submitted by louise_brooks on Tue, 08/16/2011 - 1:55pm.
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IKR. LMAO The louise_brooks version of that post would be something about trying not to trip over the cat as I pick gunk out of my eye on my way to the bathroom while wearing my "pajamas" (aka whatever I wore the day before, minus a bra).
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Hahaha--- sexay!! Substitute 'cat' with 'FUPA', and it's like you can see me. :)
What the hell?
Submitted by islandgirl on Tue, 08/16/2011 - 1:38pm.
I know!! And how does one 'erotically' roll out of bed anyway? It's all I can do to hoist up my girth without falling on the floor. But maybe that's because I'm not SIXTEEN anymore. *snort*
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IKR. LMAO The louise_brooks version of that post would be something about trying not to trip over the cat as I pick gunk out of my eye on my way to the bathroom while wearing my "pajamas" (aka whatever I wore the day before, minus a bra).
Some gems:
Throwin on a white string bikini, fluffy light up bunny ears, 7in heels, & a rhinestone bow tie while bakin cookies. Don't Put It On Me Girl
Mmm... My rock-hard abs work perfectly as a delicious goodie dish! ;-x
It's a beautiful Saturday today in L.A. So, first thing is first: Wet'n WILD house cleaning... And THEN playful fun in the sensuous sun! ;-x
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And then this:
Had a beautifully busy day today, all based around my HOT & upcoming reality show! Are you all ready for it? ;-)
WTF?? They have a reality show? When did I miss this?
Submitted by louise_brooks on Tue, 08/16/2011 - 12:57pm.
I love these steamy mornings that allow you to erotically roll out of bed in nothing but your cheeky string bikini. Mmm, how electrifying!
ROTFLMAO OMG Who talks like that???!?!
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I know!! And how does one 'erotically' roll out of bed anyway? It's all I can do to hoist up my girth without falling on the floor. But maybe that's because I'm not SIXTEEN anymore. *snort*
*skips over to courtney's facebook page to see who I can make cry*
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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
NO PUEDO con ninguna de estas putas viejas, pero MENOS con la disque-escuincla!!! Fucking barforama to the max!
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"If French is the language of love, then Spanish is the language of badassery!" -MK
pure as the driven snow....
Was she home schooled in a whore house?
I've never felt sorry for a swimsuit in my entire life, until now. Is there a rescue charity for abused clothing?
And one last thing, at 51 I look younger than that worn out Harlequin reading- overly madeup-sexedup-bimbo.
Pammy will always win the comparison no matter her age.
You can't pray a lie.
Mark Twain
the only good news about this trash is that the Illuminati clearly are slipping. their sexbots and the coke snorting pervs who handled them used to be less obvious.
Pam looked good back in the day and still looks great and she is 18 years older BUT this Courtney person seems to be crazy or on meds. No wonder her parents wanted to marry her off!
I love these steamy mornings that allow you to erotically roll out of bed in nothing but your cheeky string bikini. Mmm, how electrifying!
ROTFLMAO OMG Who talks like that???!?!