Stunning. Fresh. Gorgeous.
No, this is not a page from the "Buy 1 Get 1 Free" clearance section of a Russian brides catalog that caters to gerontophile gentlemen who are in the market for a pre-owned model. This is Lindsay Lohan (on the left) and White Oprah (on the right) looking like if Jerri Blank brought Aunt Magda as her date to her winter formal. If Florida public access did a low-budget version of The Real Housewives of Boca, this is what it would look like.
Blohan and White Oprah peeled themselves out from under the heat lamp on the Sizzler buffet line and Crisco-ed themselves into the finest gowns from Frederick's to watch Kim Kardashian make a Geico caveman her second husband (and counting). Kim's invitation said that all hos must only wear black and/or white, so it's not like Blohan tried to hump the spotlight away from the bride. I wouldn't put it past her, but she had more important things to worry about. Like trying to sneak as many centerpieces into the trunk of her car so she can sell them later on eBay.
To see more priceless and coked up pictures of the Orange Chicken Sisters, click over to ONTD or Gossip Center. Those who don't already know will probably spend a few minutes trying to figure out which one came out of the other one's vagina. They're both on the wrong side of 48. But my favorite part of those pictures isn't that they both have the complexion of a chicharone. It's that they both obviously looked into the mirror of delusion and said at the same time, "Damn, bitch, we're going to make dicks rise tonight!"
Here's more pictures from Kim's second pre-divorce ceremony of her bridesmaids, Gaycrest, Julianne Hough, Brody Jenner and Avril Lavigne. This mess looks like one of Charlie Chaplin's black & white bowel movements.
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Submitted by MudTurtle on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 7:42am.
literarylioness, I'm doing it because I feel it's what I am meant to do. I don't need to duck from life or any of that, I want to make a difference to someone, like my professor did. I'm not worried about making tenure or teaching part time or any of that. I don't need the job security or the benefits. I'm doing it because it's what I want to do.
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Then you have your answer.
I MEAN did anybody see how Kim flipped out when she lost her $75,000 earring when Kris threw her into the water? Now it's clear why Kris Humphries proposed with a $2 MILLION, 20.5 carat ring http://bit.ly/n8g45Z
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http://youknowyoucare.com
This post is pure poetry!
As the owner of 34Ds (formerly 40Es) the sad truth is that there are some things you can never wear. Sadly, a strapless gown is one of the them. Someone should tell big bertha bridesmaid that. On the other hand, I hope that that she bends down and those boobies fall out and upstage Kim. 10 000 000 dollars for nothing! Wah Wah...
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"Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained by incompetence."
- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)
I am not at all surprised at the tackiness of this event. Kim is probably the most arrogant, high maintenance ho out there. I am sure her bridesmaids were dressed in white as somet type of nod to the royal wedding, like Kim is some princess or someone of high birth. *pukes* It also looks like she forced all the guests to dress in black and white. I heard she didn't allow them to have cell phones either, less she compromise her exclusive deal with E! How revolting. Can you imagine getting an invitation to this shit? Not only are you asked to fork over major cash for a gold plated neti pot piece of garbage from her offensive registry, you also have to forgo all decency and wear the exact two colors you are supposed to avoid wearing to a wedding and then you can't even check your voicemail for hours? And you KNOW she though she was being classy. Bitch, please. Take your cameras and your retard spouse and your ridiculous white mermaid bridesmaids dresses and shove them up your gigantic fat ass.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
are they wearing wigs? I hope they didn't spend hours to get their hair to look that bad.
whores celebrating the Head Whore sacrificing another athlete to the Kuntasian Klan,...pimp mamma's got another sucker....everytime i see Pimp Mamma I see horns and a tail...and her altar lined up to pimp another poor soul to her bank account...loathe anyone who attended that pissed on whores short lived marriage.
whores celebrating the Head Whore sacrificing another athlete to the Kuntasian Klan,...pimp mamma's got another sucker....everytime i see Pimp Mamma I see horns and a tail...and her altar lined up to pimp another poor soul to her bank account...loathe anyone who attended that pissed on whores short lived marriage.
Who is the porker in the first thumbnail?
They both look like cheap escorts. Too cheap even for Michael Lohan, which is quite tragic if you think about it.
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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
When I first saw that photo of Lindsey--I honestly thought it was her in wardrobe for the "Gotti Movie". I didn't think that was a REAL outfit. Poor thing, she looks cheap, greasy and plain terrible.
They look like the vampire brides from 'The Return of Count Yorga'.
@becky
I think it's more expensive for international students? We calculate SGD18000 for living expenses and SGD16000 for course fees per year for 5 years @UTAS (pretty much the only college that will take him in). So abt SGD170,000? Sorry my bad, I converted the other way around.
You have 2 grown children? I thought you sounded in your mid thirties max. A lot of Dlisters sound much younger than they are, something to do with being young at heart?
Thanks you, I didn't know about the helploans. I'll check them out. You dlisters always have the best advice.
Do you know anything about sponsorship? I have family who are PRs and citizens in Melbourne.
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"Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained by incompetence."
- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)
Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 8:48am.
anyone who believes the wedding cost 10 million or they got paid 17 million in endorsements is a dimwit.
learn to differentiate between truth and a publicist's release
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True, though "dimwit" might be overstating it. I think they got a lot of free swag and services in exchange for publicity. I've been to a couple of super-fancy weddings in my life--including one at the Four Seasons/Montecito--and they didn't cost over $200k.
Sent from my Dell PC.
WO looks like she's Blohans younger sister. WTF?
And Blohan has the fucking balls to wear WHITE to a wedding? Are you fucking kidding me?
I didn't even recognize Lohan. Jesus, she looks like whipped shit.
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
some cheap looking dresses. I just checked some of the pics of this wedding..why is all of 'em hookers wearing white????
Coma Caca!
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anyone who believes the wedding cost 10 million or they got paid 17 million in endorsements is a dimwit.
learn to differentiate between truth and a publicist's release
are Kortney and Klhoe wearing wedding dresses too? I'm konfuzed (as to why I give a shit)
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Sun, 08/21/2011 - 11:14pm.
Lindsay looks sad and lost.
She forgot where the open bar is.
Sent from my Dell PC.
I am not even trying to be funny when I say this...
Lindsay looks older than her own damn mama by a LONG shot.
Goddamn shame!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
What's with the Armenian Pentagram? I knew these bitches were witches!
these two look like the drugged out girls who were "Human trafficked" in the movie "Taken"... at least those girls had no choice that they looked like that... what skanks...
literarylioness, I'm doing it because I feel it's what I am meant to do. I don't need to duck from life or any of that, I want to make a difference to someone, like my professor did. I'm not worried about making tenure or teaching part time or any of that. I don't need the job security or the benefits. I'm doing it because it's what I want to do.
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She appears to be under the delusion that she is so hot that she can go around sans fards. She needs the fards.-Deb 7/29/11
Submitted by vidz on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 6:10am.
I'm a sociology major and I graduated last year and haven't had any success finding anything I'm interested in doing for the rest of my life, partly because I didn't graduate with honours and mostly because my major is not sought after in my country, Singapore.
I've been contemplating pursuing my masters in either International Relations or Gender studies. You guys, I really can't decide.
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Whoa, vidz, I tried reading your content four times with blurry eyes under the hellish flouro lights here at fking 9am (9am is a bitch when one spent the last three days sleeping til 1pm). Okay anyway, I'm thinking your sociology undergrad with the Intl Relations would work for you best, in terms of opportunities out there. But I think it sounds like you'd be more interested in gender studies?
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"You dumb bitch, I am home." -MK to Brooke's crybaby 'daddy-puts-the-lotion' ass
Lifeislikecake-"While the wedding of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries was reported to cost a manicured-eyebrow raising $10 million, the lovebirds really didn’t have to shell out a dime — in fact, they’ll rake in at least $17.9 million for just saying, “I do”!
And just think, when Star Jones tried to pimp out her wedding, she was the worst person in the world. How times change.....
And damn,WO is looking much younger than Linds. Damn, that's a harsh looking woman in her 20's. Cocaine is a helluva drug.
lilo and white oprah look the same age...which is not a positive for either one...i just know they share the same coke spoon...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
The pics from this wedding don't look like anything I would have imagined. Black and white? The whole thing makes me feel like a wedding funeral. It feels all "Eyes Wide Shut" to me again and I feel afraid. Why is the cake all alone in a big wide open area like that? Scary.
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Visit my husband's webcomic DUNGEON HORDES at http://www.drunkduck.com/dungeon_hordes
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Submitted by vidz on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 6:10am.
In my opinion, if you have the opportunity to go, definitely go, especially now that you're young. Follow your dream, do what's best for you, and all those other cliches but they're true. :) Go and have adventures, meet a hot australian or two and have a ton of fun! :D
Lindsay and her mom look the exact same age. Their photo looks straight out of some bad horror movie circa 1976.
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Visit my husband's webcomic DUNGEON HORDES at http://www.drunkduck.com/dungeon_hordes
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Submitted by vidz on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 6:10am.
Just a quick question - how did your parents get to the US$200,000 estimate for a Law Degree in Oz?
Does that include travel and accomodation costs?
A law degree here is about AUS$40,000.
http://survivelaw.com/blog/index.php/2011/06/the-future-of-the-australia...
And as Singapore is a Commonwealth Supported country, your brother (and yourself) may be eligible for HELPLoans:
http://www.goingtouni.gov.au/Main/Quickfind/PayingForYourStudiesHELPLoan...
If you require any extra info, please let me know. :)
@mudturtle and all Dlisted peeps
Sorry for tagging along on your question but I've been facing a similar dilemma for the past few months. I'm a sociology major and I graduated last year and haven't had any success finding anything I'm interested in doing for the rest of my life, partly because I didn't graduate with honours and mostly because my major is not sought after in my country, Singapore.
I've been contemplating pursuing my masters in either International Relations or Gender studies. You guys, I really can't decide. If I pick International Relations, I'm afraid I won't get hired once I've completed my degree because I have little work experience. And If I choose gender studies, I definitely have to go into the academic track and do my PhD. I'm the first person in my extremely middle class family to even get a degree, and I know it sounds silly but I don't know if I'm smart enough to to even contemplate becoming a professor.
And to make things more complicated I have to do my degree in Australia. So cost is a huge factor. My younger brother failed to qualify for university in my country because he didn't study hard enough and he's going to Australia at the same time for a FIVE YEAR law degree which will cost my parents about USD200,000 that they seriously don't have and that my brother will never pay back. My family's finances are a huge worry to me.
I could always join teaching, which is what most mediocre arts grads do here but I feel like I need to be away from my family for awhile to grow as a person. My new best friend will also be going to Oz at the same time to do her graduate degree and my best-est friend just canceled her wedding to a psycho in India, with less than a month to go (Phew! Bullet dodged there) and wants to join me to do her masters if I'm indeed, going.
I apologize for being so long-winded, but that's my whole situation laid out. I've been tortured by these decisions for months and I can't seem to decide either way. I'm a typical libra, completely indecisive and I've been smothered by my loving, but unrelentingly overbearing parents all my life and and have trouble with the simplest deciscions- and this one's a whopper. Please help me out here guys? Any (good) advice would be much appreciated.
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"Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained by incompetence."
- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
DP.
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
Triple Post(sooooo embaressed).
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
Really answering w/all my soul. SWEET NECTAR.&Q-TIP Makes me clap cerecedeng,cerecedegedeng, Cisaingeng, Cisaingengeng, Cirikidzing, Cirikidzkidzing ! ! !
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 12:09am.
Hi MudTurtle! Intrigued by Chief's cryptical messages I scrolled back to your original comment. It's early morning over here, so I pondered on your dilemma in peace and quiet. I would advise you to reread what you've wrote and count the pros and cons. To me it sounds as if you already know which way to go, but fear of potential social ramifications is keeping you from following your heart. As someone who has been there, seen that, done that, I'd like to say that you have nothing to prove to anybody but yourself, especially since it's impossible to please everyone anyway.\
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Mooooooooooooooooooo. What she said. If you measure me . . . yes Only to your HEART.(although, a ninja is intoxicated demon).
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
I'm usually eloquent wit it. . . But I'm sweeet nectar.
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
Submitted by literarylioness on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 2:12am.
Submitted by MudTurtle on Sun, 08/21/2011 - 9:55pm.
Submitted by NDNchief on Sun, 08/21/2011 - 9:49pm.
Just really be honest with yourself about why you want to go to grad school, and what you plan on doing with that education.
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Yeah. there is no Manager higher, if there is i'm callin dem higher.
Submitted by MudTurtle on Sun, 08/21/2011 - 9:55pm.
Submitted by NDNchief on Sun, 08/21/2011 - 9:49pm.
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
Submitted by MudTurtle on Sun, 08/21/2011 - 9:45pm.
Hey Dlisted peeps. Need some life advice.
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Despite you're lack of question mark. YES, whatcha got?????????????????
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Lol. It was a statement, not really a question.
Well, I just graduated in May with my bachelor's degree. I was going to go back for 3 courses this fall so that I can start grad school in January (need the three courses cause I want my master's in a different subject than what my degree is in). My plans were to get the master's in history and then persue a job as a college history instructor. However, I'm having more and more second thoughts about going back. My kids are 9 and 3 and I've been doing the college thing for four and a half years. I feel like it's time for a break, but I'm also afraid if I stop I may not go back. My husband supports any decision I make, whether it's going back, taking a break, getting a job, or staying home with the kids. I AM JUST SO CONFUSED. Some outside perspective would be helpful.
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I'm getting my PhD in English/Lit. I have an MA and MFA, but the PhD will help me in the long run. I teach part-time at a community college and tutor kids.
My advice is to REALLY be honest with yourself about why you want to go to grad school. Especially if it is in the humanities. Do you plan on teaching? At what level do you want to teach? Have you taught before? Positions are scarce. Most universities are hiring adjuncts without benefits. Tenure tract positions are hard to come by, and the future looks grim.
I feel this is my calling, so I'm don't really care about tenure. My husband is a tenured prof, but it took him almost twenty-five years. He lives and breaths his job too.
My feeling is too many people are going into higher education to basically duck out of life. The economy is bad, and everyone wants a place to lie low. I got into teaching because of all the over-educated windbags I had in community college. Teaching is a talent like anything else, and a lot of profs are not good at it. They just had degrees they had to pay for. I can count on one hand, with fingers left over, how many great profs I had for all my years of schooling.
Just really be honest with yourself about why you want to go to grad school, and what you plan on doing with that education.
i find this picture kind of sad.I am the first to laugh at this mess,but something about Lindsay here screams this girl didn't stand a chance
unless kris humphries' peen is like 12 inches, Kim is not gonna feel a thing. More guys have been through her vajayjay and pissed on her than a mcdonalds drive-thru.
knowing what a whore she is, i bet she lets them give her a dirty sanchez or do ass to mouth. that bitch is filth!
LOL white oprah actually looks younger than lindsay...
these two hoes have provided me with so much in this world.
I just love their hot train wreck mess.
LOVE IT!
White oprah was probably freebasing at the party.
Submitted by MudTurtle on Sun, 08/21/2011 - 10:17pm.
Hi MudTurtle! Intrigued by Chief's cryptical messages I scrolled back to your original comment. It's early morning over here, so I pondered on your dilemma in peace and quiet. I would advise you to reread what you've wrote and count the pros and cons. To me it sounds as if you already know which way to go, but fear of potential social ramifications is keeping you from following your heart. As someone who has been there, seen that, done that, I'd like to say that you have nothing to prove to anybody but yourself, especially since it's impossible to please everyone anyway. I think I just "kicked in an open door", but some cliches exist for a reason. "Home is where the heart is".
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"It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err."
Mahatma Gandhi
Submitted by not shocked on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 12:00am.
who's the gordita in the Quinceañera dress in thumb #1???
I think it's that actress from that movie "Precious". Not sure.
who's the gordita in the Quinceañera dress in thumb #1???
Submitted by not shocked on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 12:00am.
who's the gordita in the Quinceañera dress in thumb #1???
……………
I though it was the blushing bride herself. Is it not?
Sigh.. poor Lindsay, the law's been so kind to her but the drugs & booze have not. This chick could easily pass for a 48 year old cougar. I remember watching The Parent Trap with my oldest daughter and thinking what an adorable and talented girl Lindsay was. Why does she even show up in public to begin with? Oh, I'd momentarily forgotten she's a shameless fame whore who hates bras. White O sucks more as a mom than Courtney Love ever did.
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"How nice, to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive."
- Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Sun, 08/21/2011 - 11:38pm.
I've been to all the usual places around town and couldn't find anything--nothing worth $400-500, that's for sure. I wondered if I should get some cheap crap online so that if I hate them, at least I'm not out so much dough. This pair I've been wearing for the past three years (fucking kate spade $500-plus ripoff) I absolutely HATE. Three years of hate. But when you fork over that much, you have to suck it up and wear the hell out of them.
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Sun, 08/21/2011 - 11:26pm.
So basically you've got a canvas on which anything could work? Then if I were you, I would definitely buy my glasses in-store so you can try them on. I don't know if you were planning on doing so, but buying glasses with lenses online seems a bit tricky anyway. Your prescription would have to be pretty straightforward and standard then.
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"It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err."
Mahatma Gandhi
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
Submitted by MudTurtle on Sun, 08/21/2011 - 11:24pm.
Sorry, Chief. I'm not following anything you are saying. Besides, I already have a bachelor's degree.
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hOPE YOU PICKED A POST ECON LIVING.