Programming Note & Afternoon Crumbs
Programming Note: This will probably be my last post of the day, because I’m flying to California in a few hours to do some Driving Miss Daisy shit. My mom had shoulder surgery and can’t operate a motor vehicle (OR SO SHE SAYS) so I have to chauffeur her around while she yells at me to not drive so fast and to count to 5 at every stop sign before hitting the gas. I’ll be doing this for the next 3 weeks. Fun!
My flight isn’t until tonight, but I’m leaving early since I’ve been told that the highways are full of Apocalypse-ready hos marching towards the safe lands. I know, perfect timing, especially since my apartment is in a mandatory evacuation zone. I’m not even trying to board shit. I’m taking my dog, the only t-shirt I wear and saying a prayer that Irene doesn’t break my favorite new bong. But anyway, fuck that bitch Irene, In-N-Out here I come! Now on to crumbs….
Andrew Garfield is so the Anne Archer to Jim Carrey’s Glenn Close – Lainey Gossip
If Brit Brit was our history teacher, we’d all get As, because ho doesn’t know which letters come after that – The Superficial
Team Orange Flowers – Towleroad
Lacey Schwimmer or Brooke Hogan in a fun house mirror? – Hollywood Tuna
White Oprah’s sumptuous skin looks like old coke marinating in kitchen grease – (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather
Beyonce’s new video looks like a commercial for House of Derriere’s new line of glitter lube – Celebitchy
Justin Theroux is putting Sugar Mama Aniston’s credit card to good use – Just Jared
Are you happy to see me or is that just an AAAAAAAAAAHHHH THAT’S A FUCKING SNAKE YOU CRAZY BITCH! – The Daily What
Man Down Code 10: Posh in flats – Popsugar
Peter Facinelli should always look like this – ICYDK
I’ll say it, KAT FIGHT! – Crunk + Disorderly
Knocked up Duff, take 1 – Popoholic
Knocked up Duff, take 2 – Hollywood Rag
Did Cee Lo explode on a solid gold disco ball or did a solid gold disco ball explode on Cee Lo? – Moe Jackson
RiRi’s new video sponsored by a Flip camera with no flash – The Berry
Pussy hole – Cityrag
(Image Source: instagr.am via Buzzfeed)