Mel Gibson Is Making A Movie About A Jewish Hero
It was nice of Mel Gibson to make an OY! THIS BITCH face so you don't have to.
The Hollywood Reporter says that noted supporter of the Jews and honorary rabbi Mad Mel somehow got Warner Bros. to back the movie he's writing about Jewish hero Judah Maccabee. In other news, Michele Bachmann has announced that she's quitting the "trying to run for president" thing to make a documentary about Robert Mapplethorpe.
Wikipedia says that Judah Maccabee is one of the greatest warrior heroes in Jewish history who led a revolt against some king named Antiochus IV, took over Jerusalem and restored the Holy Temple. That victory is now celebrated by Hanukkah. It makes sense that Mad Mel would be the one to write this story since whenever you think of Hanukkah, you immediately think of Mel Gibson! Wait. Stupid ass me. I'm getting my "kah" sounds confused again. Whenever you think of Mel Gibson, you immediately think of the word "cunt." Yeah, that's what I really meant.
Mel doesn't know yet if he wants to direct or take a role in the movie. He's currently just writing the script with my favorite screenwriter Joe Eszterhas. And why is Joe Eszterhas my favorite screenwriter ever? Here are 4 reasons why:
1. Basic Instinct
2. Sliver
3. Showgirls
4. Jade
The Hollywood Reporter is also reporting (no, they're not) that John Galliano is in talks to design costumes, Vanilla Gorilla has already signed on to play the lead role and Mel's contract states that he must get paid with blowjobs before Jacuzzi (still not going to happen, but nice try, you glum cunt).
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Mel is the worst. He'll never make this movie.
Mel saw "Maccabee" and thought he was signing on for "Braveheart 2 : The Revenge of the MacCabees". The shot of him above is when his agent explained the mix-up.
Judas MacCabee?
Sounds Irish.
from me & my fellow jew djs ► go fuck urself mel
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
I really miss Road Warrior Mel.
that's all I have to say.
Submitted by P.T.Bull on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 7:16am.
I think the problem with the OT is not what's in it, but how it's told. It's very dry, but it's about sex, treachery, curses, revolution, wars, angel-wrestling, cities being blown up, cultural clashes and dudes getting caught in trees by their Pantene hair. It's some juicy shit.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
straight to video with that other Beaver pos...he is done..and Esterhaus is about a bad a writer as ever lived...will never forgive him for the hype he gave that other enormous turd called Showgirls...what a fucking joke both of them.
Submitted by spankypants on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 5:55am.
WOW. I hadn't noticed, but you are absolutely right. Them bitches be dead. Or else they're Jodie Foster. So she doesn't really want him in that way, plus chick is far too crafty to be offed in some movie.
Ugh, speaking of these two, I watched The Beaver the other week because I've watched absolutely EVERYTHING else worth a damn Hulu, Crackle, Netflix, and Red Box have to offer, so ... I thought it was rubbish. The only time I've disagreed with Rotten Tomatoes (62%).
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Devil's advocate.
I suppose Jade was where caruso perfected his wooden delivery and made me lose interest in so-called erotic thrillers which are just bad soft porn movies combined with bad action movies. Yes, jade was shiteous. Incredibly caruso has found a tv show where his bad acting is valued.
Mel tends to do interesting movies--I always found the old testament to be the cure for insomnia, but who knows. If the movie is good, I do think he will have made amends for anti-semitic ranting--at least in most people's minds.
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Submitted by hotpocket on Thu, 09/08/2011 - 10:37pm.
Ha, I guess the flowers and apology cards weren't working, so here comes a multimillion dollar movie.
Joe Eszterhas, no way. One of my favorite scenes from Jade. David Caruso, a cop on investigation, inspects a bedroom and opens the mini fridge. In a serious tone: "Cristal, Beluga, Wolfgang Puck. It's a fuck house." I always wanted a mini fridge in my bedroom after that movie. He's the Jackie Collins of screenwriters. This will be shitacular.
Submitted by spankypants on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 12:26am.
The working title is, "What are you looking at sugartits?"
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LMAO!
Submitted by Bo on Fri, 09/09/2011 - 5:41am.
Robert Mapplethorpe was hot!
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LOL! Well, I guess to each his or her own.
..Braveheart
Has anyone ever noticed that in the majority of Mel's movies his wife is dead? Mad Max, Lethal Weapon, The Patriot, Payback, Signs...
Robert Mapplethorpe was hot! Mel Gibson not! Look at old Mel's face, all those creases, he's not aging well. Must be the booze, or maybe he's not getting any more BJ's in the hot tub.
There are so many shoes in my closetwood. Oh no!
I will be disappointed if this doesn't turn into a buddy Hebrew warrior movie with lines like "Everybody got leprosy and shit!"
I doubt it'll get made tho. Wasn't he going to make a Boudicca movie a few years back?
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Mel is HOT and a real 'all-man' tuna-taster!
We would 'blow' Mel in a heartbeat!
Thanks, Michael K, for getting the CORRECT order of Joe Eszterhas awesomeness right!
It's probably going to be a comedy. LOL
PR stunt lasting one month, to me. And if not, he def.should incorporate Elizabeth Berkley as some slutty harem dancer prancing around unreasonably. Or doing some folk bottle-dance activity
http://enzo5.blogspot.com/
Mel: That'll shut 'em up.
I love Michael Richards for disappearing after his fuck ups. HE has shame.
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What kind of fuckery is this?
And next year Mel will make a movie playing an abused woman beaten up by a misogynistic bigot.
I wonder if young Mel Gibson could see what becomes of him as old Mel Gibson if he'd actually take his meds.
The working title is, "What are you looking at sugartits?"
Submitted by Condi the ingro... on Thu, 09/08/2011 - 9:04pm.
This isn't too far afield for Mel because if he's nothing else he's a bible thumper, and bible thumpers think olden times Old Testament Jews are A-OK
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beat me to it.
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A baby's first words should not be: "DEATH DON'T TAKE ME NOW!!!" - MK
screw mel g....san diego had no power for 6 hours ...we r back hip hip hooray
I just saw the face of the Antichrist. *makes the Sign of the Cross and starts praying for dear life*
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Huh? Where? I didn't see any pictures of that nasty whore Okskanka anywhere. ??
Nasty, vile, lying, whore thy name is Oksana. She's the reason "The Beaver" ended up being a limited release in the US and that box office sales were so low. If she would have just accepted that he didn't want her nasty ass anymore and just wanted to spend time with and help raise his daughter, she would have ended up in a lot better state than she is in now. No....she had to be a greedy ass ("....your not so generous offer for your daughter, and there was nothing for me...") and wanted "Tiger Woods money". So $15million for Lucia (??not generous??) and "nothing for me". (actually it would have been about $3 million). She just couldn't touch Lucias $$$ and that pissed her off.
Now what does she have?? Lol. $750K and a Dodge Charger. Hahaha!!!!!!!!
Stupid bitch!
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"Just because Kim's face was knighted with a big black sword golden shower arch doesn't mean she's royalty!" - MK. I <3 U !
Submitted by agirl on Thu, 09/08/2011 - 9:55pm.
Also, that pic! Gaaaaaah! He used to be sooooo breathtakingly beautiful
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This!
I loved looking at him in The Year of Living Dangerously and now I have to avert my gaze from his ugly mug.
Ha, I guess the flowers and apology cards weren't working, so here comes a multimillion dollar movie.
Joe Eszterhas, no way. One of my favorite scenes from Jade. David Caruso, a cop on investigation, inspects a bedroom and opens the mini fridge. In a serious tone: "Cristal, Beluga, Wolfgang Puck. It's a fuck house." I always wanted a mini fridge in my bedroom after that movie. He's the Jackie Collins of screenwriters. This will be shitacular.
Bish, please.
Mel really is going creepy crazy.
.
.
Yeah Mel, this will make everyone forget all about what you said and how nuts you are. Riiiight.
Also, that pic! Gaaaaaah! He used to be sooooo breathtakingly beautiful:
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vYyqp2OvGJU/ThQ3ISLmU9I/AAAAAAAACW8/1159yNPvTq...
Being hateful ruins one's looks (sun and smoking
damage helps too).
Anyone ever see "Edge of Darkness?" I think it was a straight to dvd movie he made. He played a cop whose daughter got killed, he thought the killers were after him but found out his daughter had some nefarious involvement and she had to be silenced.
His performance was really creepy, it was like he wasn't really acting but channeling some deep rooted anger. I think this guy might kill someone one day, like flip out with an AK 47.
In other news, Michele Bachmann has announced that she's quitting the "trying to run for president" thing to make a documentary about Robert Mapplethorpe.
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Bachmann can just ask her husband. That man is the gayest thing I've seen since Chris Crocker screamed "leave Britney alone!!!"
Actually, this could be a giant Christmas hit. The Bibical costumers could make a come back. I'd put $2 on this to win if they can keep the costs down.
Hope it's as good as "Ten Commandments" where they all wore 50's lipstick and hairspray and Anne Baxter was as bitchy as she was in "All About Eve". You know there are scenes in that where someone is wearing a wrist watch.
OK, wake me up when he re-makes (and stars in the lead role of) Fiddler on the Roof
Mel is a raging alcoholic dickbag with chronic verbal diarrhea, BUT, he can actually be a good actor (Ransom, Braveheart, Hamlet, Gallipoli) on occasion. This movie might actually be *good*, despite the ridiculous irony of who's directing it.
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"Fuck that guy for thinking anyone and everyone should want to do Glee."
- Dave Grohl
FUCK YOU MEL.
Submitted by Condi the ingro... on Thu, 09/08/2011 - 9:04pm.
I just don't get it when anti-Semites use the line "The Jews killed Jesus". That's like saying "The whites killed Abraham Lincoln/JFK" and so on.
Then again maybe I should shoot myself for even making any attempt to "understand" bigotry.
it's good that he's immersing himself in being apologetic and giving back with what he does best and what can do best/go furthest.
i ain't shitting on this.
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
Drink up, Judah Ben-Hurrrrr
I heard it's a rom-com and Jennifer Aniston is playing the female lead.
This isn't too far afield for Mel because if nothing else he's a bible thumper, and bible thumpers think olden times Old Testament Jews are A-OK, at least until the advent of Jesus (who was born and died a Jew, but no matter).
After Jesus all Jews became hideous evol money-grubbers who control all the money, Hollywood and everything else and who killed their lord (not the Romans). Yeah, makes a lot of sense, doesn't it? But no one ever said that Mel (or Galliano or Vanilla Gorilla or Hitler) had great reasoning powers or even all their marbles.
Too bad he has too much debt to retire. He's going to get fried alive for trying to do this movie. If it ever gets made, it will be a miracle. He needs to just sit down somewhere.
蜘龍====================龍蜘
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
MK, I just want to put you in my pocket.
I think Mel should do "Shoah: The Musical."
So, then, Oksana is going into teaching?
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Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac