NOT THE FUDGESICLES!!!!
During a press conference at the Toronto International Film Festival for his home invasion movie Trespass (Side note: They should make a Spanish homo invasion threesome porn called Tres Ass), legendary crazy bitch Nicolas Cage spewed out more insane crazy in the form of a story bout how many years ago somebody broke into his house. Surprisingly, it wasn't the repo man coming to take away the Italian Armor Sculpture he bought on Sky Mall. Nicolas says that it was a naked dude in a leather jacket nibbling on a Fudgesicle. Hey, that's the opening scene of my Spanish gay porn Tres Ass! The craziness directly from the crazy's mouth (via Reuters):
"It was two in the morning. I was living in Orange County at the time and was asleep with my wife. My two-year old at the time was in another room. I opened my eyes and there was a naked man wearing my leather jacket eating a Fudgesicle in front of my bed," he told reporters on Wednesday.I know it sounds funny ... but it was horrifying."
Nicolas said that he was able to talk the nekkid biker Fudgesicle-sucker out of his house before he called the police. Crazy Old Nick never pressed charges, because he says the man had mental problems. Yes, the Fudgesicle-sucker sounds crazier than a Lohanhouse rat, but if you're in a house with Nicolas Cage, you'll never be the craziest bitch in the house. Truth.
You know, if this story came from anybody else whose brain isn't completely marinated in crazy sauce, I'd say they mixed their shrooms with bathtub acid again and forgot that the dude in the leather jacket was actually a leather top they met in the Yahoo chat rooms who quickly taught them that it's not a good idea to drink coffee and eat mushy pears before butt sex. But since this is Nicolas Cage we're talking about, it was totally just a dick flasher eating a Fudgesicle. Or Nicolas woke up in his mirrored room again.
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You know what, I've heard plenty of stories about naked people breaking into people's houses to believe it. I don't understand why they do it, but it happens. Also I work at a hotel and naked people are always locking themselves out of their rooms. I don't get it.
He still is not as funny as his son. His son's facebook page is priceless.
Do all his visits with his adult son end that way?
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Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you you gonna bite?
Submitted by Sexecution on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 11:46am.
Can't blame ol' Nick for that. If I paid good money to live in a gated community with security, I would be deeply pissed if a mental patient was able to break into my bedroom unchallenged.
I would also buy several guns and hide them around the house, and keep the ammo with me at all times.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Doesn't Cage have difficulty remembering his own address?
Maybe he was the one intruding on Mr Fudgesicles property?
Reporter: "Mr. Cage, after that, what's the next odd thing that's happened in your house?"
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 9:19am.
Crazy or not this is actually the best I've seen Nic look in a long long time
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That's a very homo erotic comment to make, Whamo. Are you in love with Nic Cage?
It's ok to speak from your heart.
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Dark-sided!
Yet again the Dutch are being discriminated against. We've got the world's most shitty climate. Surely we deserve some sort of compensation for that? For 43 long years I've been deprived of Fudgesicles. No fair!
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Who are you calling silly cow?
That story is true and was a big news story when it happened as Cage was living in a high security private gated community and the neighbors being very wealthy and security conscious were afraid Cage was attracting a dangerous element into their lives. The guy left wearing only the leather jacket and was caught a short time later as a pants-less man walking down PCH did attract police attention, he was taken to a psychiatric hospital. It freaked people out someone got into a security patrolled, video monitored subdivision so easily, naked with no one noticing. I think Cage put the house on the market right away after the incident.
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 10:56am.
Never ate a Fudgesicle, so I don`t know what the hype is about. That said, if i woke up with some dude standing by my bed without clothes on, i would shoot his ass. You don`t pull that shit in TX.
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That's the fucking truth right there. People do not fucking play around here. My uncle works in a grocery store in Galveston texas as a manager and he told me that he heard a gunshot go off and when he got to the front of the store everyone that was waiting in line had taken out their handguns. Turns out that the shot had been accidently fired by an old lady who's gun had fallen out of her purse. Once that was figured out everyone nonchalantely put their guns away. Fucking crazy.
Submitted by Stock Broker on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 11:03am.
SANS FARDS ~ you do know he's making Ghostrider 2.
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dear God...why??? the first one was SO BAD!!! He must really have no other options at this point. Isn't he millions in arrears with the IRS? time to pay the piper, by any means necessary!
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"Fuck that guy for thinking anyone and everyone should want to do Glee."
- Dave Grohl
SANS FARDS ~ you do know he's making Ghostrider 2.
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"Going to Burger King to eat healthy is like going to a prostitute for a hug." Dlister Supah 8.20.11
Nic used to be awesome...his work in Con Air, Raising Arizona and Leaving Las Vegas was fantastic. Now he's engaging in drunken foolery in NOLA and doing more National Treasure sequels that nobody wants to see. I'm gonna go with the "bad acid trip" theory on this one, too.
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"Fuck that guy for thinking anyone and everyone should want to do Glee."
- Dave Grohl
Never ate a Fudgesicle, so I don`t know what the hype is about. That said, if i woke up with some dude standing by my bed without clothes on, i would shoot his ass. You don`t pull that shit in TX.
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"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
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http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs
"Son, you got a panty on your head"
Raising Arizona is brilliant!
abba dabba doo
Whoa, in the big Fudgesicle pic, he looks like Joan Cusack during the birth scene in Nine Months.
I know people are laid back in CA, but seriously, if I woke up in the middle of the night and a weird stranger was in my house with my husband and 2-year-old in the next room, I would immediately call 911.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
regarding the main picture: which is it? did Cage morph into Frankie Muniz, or the other way around?
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
I love how the last 2 thumbnails have the word "ASS" right next to Nicky's left shoulder.
Sounds like something Nash's "What the Fuck Is Wrong With You?" videos should cover. What IS it about crazy people breaking into houses, getting naked, and eating other people's food?!
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
What would you do for a Klondike bar?
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You must forgive my curiosity, madam, and open your knees.
Loved him in Red Rock West, funny as hell.
I think I'll have to look that up and watch it again come to think of it.
It appears Nicolas broke into Travolta's bedroom and stole his toupee.
I guess he has sympathy for the people with mental illness because he walks a fine line on that point (pyramid power....)
He is looking much better than he has in a while....wonder if he botoxed or something? Seems smooth. Either way, I usually like his movies, so that is all I care about really.
Raising Arizona is my favorite movie of all time! When my kids do something funny, I like to turn to my husband and say, "You know what we got here?" He answers: "We got us a family!" (To those who have not seen Raising Arizona ad infinitum, that quote is Hi getting emotional while sitting at home with his new "family" [including the kidnapping victim] for the first time.)
BTW if the intruder was wearing Nic's jacket, he wasn't naked. Not technically.
He's looking surprisingly decent here, although that hair is in shade "trying too hard". I thought he looked good with his hair super short and the natural grey...less creepy wanna be vampire and more distinguished.
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"Peachy with a side of keen, that would be me"
Reminds me of the story of the man who broke into Queen Elizabeth's bedroom and woke her and she reportedly sat up and had a conversation with him. Then she had her guards beheaded.
Submitted by ba-buttons on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 9:33am.
Fudgesicles are awesome but I haven't seen them in a while. Same with Creamsicles. Anybody know if they still sell them in Canada?
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Hell ya they still have Creamsicles and Fudgesicles..they still have Beckers too. When I was a kid I loved those Lolas (didn't remember what they were called) but I haven't seen them since I was a kid.
sugarfree fudgesicles are the fucking best.
How can you not press charges on someone who broke into your house? I didn't think that was an option. Why call the cops then? And how the hell are you nic cage and not have an alarm system in your house? Did the guy take off the jacket before he left?
So many questions.
http://www.ew.com/ew/gallery/0,,20266212_20076458,00.html#20076458
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
I liked Nick in "The Rock".
That is all.
I used to want to sex this guy up so bad. I'm so ashamed.
Submitted by ba-buttons on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 9:35am.
I'm talking bout sex, boy, what'choo talkin bout... I'm talking bout wife. swappin.
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
ba-buttons - we have fudgesicles and the orange half and halfs in our freezer right now. Kids LOVE them.
I can't with any sort of popsicle. IDK, I'm a freak.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 9:30am.
Last night I dreamed I was as light as the ether... H.I. McDunnough
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As crazy as he may be, Cage was absolutely brilliant in that movie. I go out of my way to turn people on to that flick, it's truly matchless, in my top ten for sure.
'Well okay then...'
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"...Foster may have cracked under the pressures of being the world's leading Gordon Ramsay-lookalike-sex-dwarf..."
♫♪I'm yo ice cream man baby, stop me when I'm passin byyyy♫
Fudgesicles are awesome but I haven't seen them in a while. Same with Creamsicles. Anybody know if they still sell them in Canada?
Growing up in Canada I remember something called a "Lola" - a big, pyramidal popsicle with no stick. You needed the rosetta stone to figure out to eat the damn thing.
Oh yeah, almost forgot an old chain of convenience stores called Becker's sold the classic 'two-stick' popsicles for ten cents each. They say they put two sticks in during the Depression so kids could share.
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"...Foster may have cracked under the pressures of being the world's leading Gordon Ramsay-lookalike-sex-dwarf..."
This is just weird.
he's like everything alice cooper wanted to be
Last night I dreamed I was as light as the ether... H.I. McDunnough
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
Forget the Fudgesicles man, what gives me nightmares at night is Nick Cage's big choppers. His teeth are scary!!!
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Why do I feel there's some drug induced holes in that story? I'm thinking 'shrooms, perhaps?
man we had the greatest..bubble-o-bill's. The back of the cowboy was chocolate and his nose was bubble gum
MMMMMM Fudgesicles!
that's all I got
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
..but then cage wouldnt be the kind to notice that
Do they still make Banjoes? Vanilla ice cream with a chocky shell. Those were great.
"I've had an awful lot of lovers ... And a lot of awful lovers." - Shirley MacLaine
uh, anyone who breaks into yer house has mental problems and if it's not drug induced and theyre not after moolah, that's the kind of crazy that toooooootally needs police documentation
Fudgesicles, eh? I'd break into someone's house for a creamsicle.
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What kind of fuckery is this?
At least the guy wasn't "making" fudgesicles at the front of the bed.
Crazy or not this is actually the best I've seen Nic look in a long long time.
I bet it was the same dude who broke into Celine Dion's house.
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Dear iPhone,
Please stop spell checking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut.