Spaz de la Huerta Leads The Return Of Cholita Lip Liner
Since I like to think of myself as an evolving chameleon whose tastes are always changing (see: ten thousand annoying daily posts on Anderson Cooper, Prince Hot Ginge, Phoebe Price, Shauna Sand and man nipples for the last 6 years straight), it might be time to let go of exquisite eyebrow situations and let them fly so I can devote all of my everything to the newest comeback bitch on the scene: CHOLA LIP LINER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And the reigning queen of the chola lip liner movement is definitely the bow-legged drunk swan Spaz de la Huerta!
At the season 2 premiere of Boardwalk Empire in NYC last night, Spaz slathered her lips in a dim shade of lipstick (I think it's called "Morning Abortion") and let her liner (in shade "Cheek Hickey") be the star of her face. Spaz naturally looks like she's trying to hold back a barf ball in her throat, but that perfectly-applied lip liner makes it look like she just vommed up massive amounts of glamour and elegance.
All of you aspiring beauties out there need to take note and head directly to the Wet 'N Wild section at Walgreens. What woman wouldn't want to look like she had lips full of burgundy paint at the beginning of the night but left most of it on the plastic cup of boxed rosé she guzzled from for hours? What woman wouldn't want to look like she doesn't have to reapply when she gives a beej in the last stall in the men's room? What woman wouldn't want to look like a cartoon moustache and a cartoon smile are hugging her lips?
The answer: Any woman who just doesn't know.
Chola lip liner also serves as a priceless security tool. It lets all of your arch rivals and the hating bitches around you know that you do have razors stuck in your hair so they better not even think of coming at you.
All hail the mainstream return of a beauty classic!
And here's who was apart of history (not really) last night: Lady Lip Liner herself, Michael Pitt with hipster Olive Oyl, Ricky Gervais with Jane Fallon, Kimber Henry, Gretchen Mol, Chris Crocker with Vincent Piazza, Marky Mark with 16-year-old Nicola Peltz and Steve Buscemi with Jo Andres.
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don't know why, but I find her beautiful *shrug* Don't care, never seen "BE" but I find her so damn naturally pretty. Don't care about her antics, her whoa-ism, whatever, aesthetically I find her beautiful.
Don't judge me! lol
i always think butthole when i see lipliner w/o the lipstick.
A close inspection of Spaz's deepest thoughts will reveal her gingerly sipping on back to back double stacked frozen margaritas with an eightball sniveling its way up the umbrella sticks to Paz’s nostrils.
Of course I’ll be the first to admit the tequila bottle is not readily apparent, but the more you look at those droopy eyelids the sooner you will begin to make out the visage of an earthworm crawling along the backside of Paz’s lipstick liner- which is really a clever device to help the earthworm shovel the coke up her nostrils, the same way a red X marks shovel the good stuff here.
http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2011/09/its-time-to-meet-friday-mornings...
thumb 9 is perfection
I always skip right over these Spaz de la Huerta posts without reading them. Maybe it's just me, but I don't give a fuck.
lipliner is the worst, most whorey thing.
but I think i need a few more thumbnails to make a definitive decision
.
.
Bitch, you need eye make up. The end.
Agree with madam s about #9 lmao...this ugly whore is on some powerful narcotics
The fact that MK didn't use thumbnail #9 for the main pic is a crying shame and obviously a massive oversight. That is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Like Hekki said... that is the Courtney Stodden special.
Spaz's boobs don't fit in her dress. But that's the least of her worries.
Fresh-faced and youthful as ever!
(I'm talking about Steve Buscemi)
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"LiLo is talking like she has swam out of the Jack Daniels bottle, hiked past the coke mountains, dove off of a crack spoon and is now ready to be someone's sponsor or something." -MK
She put some eyeliner/corner-mascara on. Can we cut her a break for that, at least? *raises hand for mascara/eyeliner try*.
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Crazy Heart, "Weary Kind", Jeff Bridges - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8monRJzzvU
Dre,Eminem, Skylar - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VA770wpLX-Q&ob=av3e
M Pitt - The Shoes!!! Arghhh.
Spaz has the same look i get before I throw up.
G Mol - cross eyed?
abba dabba doo
I have never seen such dead eyes on a living person!
Ricky Jugface is in BE?? And what is Asshole Simpson doing there...not good.
yeah BE is coming back!!! This is better than 500 new epi's of True Blood, and 900 new episodes of Hung..but gotta give props to Bored to Death too! BE is amazing... well done, well acted and even Spaz is good in it....she is surely batshit crazy, but the bitch plays a scorned ho really really well. Buscemi is great as usual..this show rocks!!
Boardwalk Empire is such an amazing show it made me fucking wish it was fall/winter(meaning: I'd have new episodes to watch of it.)
Lottapeople hate Spaz, but I love her. I love the entire damn cast, except for pretentious Michael Pitt, though his character is pretty interesting in the show.
what a fug bunch. at least steve buscemi was there to class the place up.
is it me or does spaz look slightly less greasy than normal? almost looks....clean ish.
The majority of that cast is just fug.
The majority of that cast is just fug.
Courtney Stodden called and wants her patented man-trap look back. It's in thumb 9 in case you forgot where you left it, Spaz.
Jesus, Kelly Carlson is gorgeous. I've always been jealous of her. Looks great as a brunette. Lucky Luciano is hotter than hell...what is he doing with Jay Leno in a blonde wig?
Submitted by louise_brooks on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 3:55pm.
TRUTH! That is exactly what I was going to say. I think she is hot in that crazy girl way and she looks like she would be super fun to hang out with .
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
IMO, men are attracted to Spaz because she looks like she will fuck you with very little investment of time and/or money.
She's not a take home to the family type, she's the fuck in the alley slash your tires, bust your wind shield with a baseball bat type.
This is the best I have ever seen Huerta look.
That being said...she still looks like fried caca!
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I smell Celebrity Rehab.
She really put on a lot weight since she broke up with Ellen.
She doesn't look like she went bobbing-for-apples in a deep fryer... so I say way to go Spaz!
You are moving into a much better direction.
Michael Pitt needs to take his girlfriend to the nearest Dairy Queen.
There is something very wrong about her face.
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
Her last solo thumbnail...the ninth one...ooooof unfortunate.
I think she is superfug but has that sort of air about her where it looks like she could break your dick off during.
What do guys say? It's always the crazies that are best in bed?
I guess I'll never have a boyfriend :(
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you seem spritely.
watch me rant: http://www.youtube.com/user/gineriella
Oddly I find this to be a slight improvement, maybe it's the false lashes. It's gonna take more than that to get rid of her "flu face", but it's getting somewhere.
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
that woman with Marky Mark is wearing the same fugly dress Kate Winslett poured herself into. It didn't look good on her and it doesn't look good here. Michael Pitt looks like a baby douchebag and Steve Busemi is fugly. I hate this show.
Spaz always looks like she has never had access to a mirror, while the lips are horrendous her fake lashes are pointing downward making her look like a Bassett Hound dog. She needs to stick to air humping in underwear to stay relevant.
She looks like a badly drawn ethnic cartoon character. Like if they put Veronica from the Archies through the spin cycle and added some salsa.
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You must forgive my curiosity, madam, and open your knees.
Her wannabe sexy-faces look more like she's had a stroke. She could look 50% better if she knew how to smile when she isn't filming or when she is sober.
The guy with the Olive Oyl girl friend looks like a low budget version of Leo DiCaprio.
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~Who killed Bojangles? Maybe it was you!!!~
Jamie Bochert is her name and there's just no way under heaven....
" A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal. "
Oscar Wilde
Assly has the same head pose all the time .
Neck elongated and head sticking out, to try to look demure and classy. An ingenue.
*vommy*
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by 18thCenturyFox on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 1:50pm.
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Skull crusher?? COUNT ME IN! :)
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Dear iPhone,
Please stop spell checking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut.
Spaz de la Whoreta is ugly & disgusting as always. I think Michael Pitt is adorable. Leo DiCRAPio has the career Michael should have -- way cuter & a way better actor than Leo. That Olive Oyl thing he's with is a beast.
I think Spaz is hot in that crazy, she'd be a lot of fun sort of way. But she definitely looks craaaaaaaazy.
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
@Island
My SO only watches SPEED channel, Breaking Bad and Anthony Bourdain. However after sneaking many peeks he deigned to ask when the "Broadway show" was on again. For him that's practically fan status. Love so many things about that show, esp. the return of Hedwigs side piece. He's so hot especially when he is using his skull crusher. Good times, good times.
If that walking bit of bone marrow is Pitt's favorite bully stick then I need to revise my opinion of him.
" A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal. "
Oscar Wilde
Submitted by Cindyloo on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 1:41pm.
OK, about this Spaz chick. Yes, she has a good body, but, is she attractive? I think not, what do men think?
CINDYLOO ~ Spaz is hot in a dirty-nutcracker way. Kind of like Michelle Rodriguez is hot in a butch-dyke way. Hard to explain.
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"Going to Burger King to eat healthy is like going to a prostitute for a hug." Dlister Supah 8.20.11
Uhmmm...Actually I loves me some Buscemi Bologna Lips (not his lips...just him. And he has been known to bust on his own f*cked up teefs).
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 1:38pm.
Don`t remember, Momus. Didn`t know the name. The usual "this doesn`t have shit to do with the post and I m tired of having to scroll over your bullshit, you lonely motherfuckers".
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eh whatever. i scroll past people all the time. it's not that hard to do. go to walmart and make a friend? what if we live nowhere near a walmart? how do we make friends then??
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A baby's first words should not be: "DEATH DON'T TAKE ME NOW!!!" - MK