Hot Slut Of The Day!
The ginger baby seal whose bitch of a racist family turned their asses on him and made him the loneliest seal in the world. Every time you stare into his crystal blue eyes and the unfamiliar feeling of tears coming down your cheeks hits you, a flock of birds fly over him to chirp out this song:
The Daily Mail (of course) brings us the sad tale from Russia’s Tyuleniy Island of photographer Anatoly Strakhov who came across a ginger ball of adorableness that’s half blind and full lonely, because his awful bastard of an evil cunt mother abandoned him because he’s not black like all her other pups. COLORIST SKANK! That beautiful gingerness came out of her seal pussy and this is how she treats him? Jesus be a seagull that drops a can of red paint on her anti-ginger ass.
Anatoly says that the ginge seal kept waiting for his mom to come feed him and hid away from all the black pups. Anatoly called for help, because he was afraid that ginger seal wouldn’t be able to catch his own food since he’s half blind. Someone from a local dolphinarium picked ginger seal up and will care for him so he doesn’t become an adorable carcass on the beach that his bastard bitch mom would probably wear as a summer time cape (SHE SO WOULD!).
I mean, what kind of heartless creature would turn away from a baby who looks like the innocent product of what happened when Prince Hot Ginge got a little too boozed in Antarctica one night and had a beautiful moment with a sexy seal lady? Yes, bestiality is wrong (I’m looking at you, Brenda Song!), but PHG and a lady seal making a baby that looks like as adorable as ginger seal is not. I’m lactating seal leche just from looking at his sweet face.
And if your internet went out last night, that’s because every single ho at Pixar hogged it up while rushing to make a feature film version of this. Poor ginger seal. First, he gets abandoned by his mom, and now he’ll become a CGI character voiced by Justin Bieber.
I would say that it’s a shame that Ginger Seal will probably never stop making a Fuck My Life face, but even his Fuck My Life face is adorable.