Open Post: Hosted By Lil Wayne's Brazilian Idol
If your pussy just clamp shut like it just heard John Mayer's name and you can feel your uterus trying to shrivel down to the size of a bumblebee bat's nutsack, that's because your parts know exactly what's going on in these pictures and they're scared.
What you're looking at are the exhausted faces of three woman with sweat shop wombs and Chapter 11 pussies who are staring at the fertile as fuck fool they wished they never let up into their sugar walls. That right there is what tired looks like when it puts on a house dress.
Guanabee introduces us to 90-year-old Brazilian farmer Luiz Costa De Oliveira who has overpopulated the world with at least 50 chirruns from 4 different women. When he's not planting seeds, he's planting seeds if you know what I mean. This dirty whore's (or this "putito sucio" as my abuelita would probably say under her breath) made 17 children with his first wife Francisca. After Francisca died, Luiz met Maria Francisca and made 17 more babies with her. Maria Francisca must've been tired of her uterus trying to escape every time she took a piss, because she asked her sister Ozelita to come help her take care of her ten million children. You know what happened next. As soon as Ozelita stepped into the door, the bitch had a womb full of Luiz's baby. They made 14 more tiny people together. 15 in total. The full fresh fuckery does not end there...
Ozelita asked her mother to come live with them and that old ho ended up spitting out one of Luiz's babies too! So if you ever get a call from a Brazilian number you don't know, back away from the phone like you're in The Ring. It's Ozelita calling and she wants you to come to Brazil to take one of the loads that Luiz is shooting out on the hour every hour.
But Luiz says that now that he has around 50 children and 100 grandchildren, he's putting his deadly weapon back in the holster and retiring from his spawning days.
"I could have other children out there that I don't know about because I've always liked making love. I don't know all their names. I hardly make love anymore these days, even though I'm in good health. But I still remember how wonderful it is to be in bed with a woman."
Luiz, his baby-making harem and his ten million children is what would happen if you put OctoMom, The Duggars, Kate Gosselin, Lil Wayne and KFed into a room together with nothing but IVF shots and a glimmer of a good time in their eyes. Nope.
Luiz has jizzed out a small principality and now he's done. Luiz needs to zip up his dick hole and stay away from beds...and vaginas. Just stick your pinga in a bucket of Mountain Dew and don't move.
@Atomic
I'm not in the habit of praying, but come Wednesday I'll gladly make an exception for you. Please be assured that oceans away, in some tiny country, a silly cow will be mooing your name! Stay strong, Atomic, and get well soon!
P.S.: I've taken the liberty of noting down your email address.
Atomic City - ♥♥♥
I am sorry to hear about your trouble and your diagnosis.
Prayers to you.
Go Atomic, GO! You can do this and just like Ahnahld, you'll be back. Sharks have to keep swimming to survive; be a shark and keep on living girl!
Best wishes. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.
<3
Thanks so much guest, KA and UBF. UBF, I feel so petty after reading what you're going through with your little one. Please know that you are in my heart and I'm going to send you guys a Care Bear Stare and lots of love.
Rascal, thanks so much for sharing your experience.
I can do this, I can do this, I can do this...
"A candle loses nothing of its light by lighting another candle."--catholicschoolgirl
Submitted by AtomicCity on Tue, 09/20/2011 - 12:31am.
My prayers and sincere best wishes to you.
You said you're terrified of radiation treatments. Don't be afraid. I'm a cancer survivor who's been through surgeries, chemotherapy, radiation and other very painful cancer treatments. My radiation consisted of daily trips to the hospital for 8 weeks. I was extremely tired and wanted to sleep all the time, and there was some burned skin. But it was not too bad. Chemotherapy was the worst. During it my bone marrow stopped producing white and red blood cells and I had to stop chemo several times and undergo some excruciating treatments to induce the bone marrow to produce new blood cells. Even my nails fell off.
You're so young and you have a big supportive and loving family. Trust your doctors like I trusted mine. Fight and hope for the best. God bless you.
i got you, AtomicCity. i took your email down. It really is a shame we can't have a forum here so we could all check up on each other. i hate reading the op late at night to find one of my fellow sluts is suffering and i could have left a word of encouragement.
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A baby's first words should not be: "DEATH DON'T TAKE ME NOW!!!" - MK
@Atomic City, I hope you don`t mind that wrote down your email addy. D-listed folks has always been good to me, so I would like to repay the favor. You `ll hear from me! Til then nothing but good wishes your way.
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"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
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http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs
it's gonna be... well, an "interesting" day today, folks... bear with me while i start it with a bang, will ya?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AgPM1QoOWg
have a happy, all!
-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Atomic City...((((big hugs)))) best thoughts ever possible to you & you're in my prayers. xoxoxo
******************
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
One last thing, I promise. Ideally, I'd like to be able to have at least one person on here that when I come out and am doing well, I could say along the lines of, "Hi (genericnamehere)!!! Guess what?!? The surgery went great, I'm pretty sure we kicked that cancer's ass and I'll be out of here in two days!"
So if anyone is willing to just make note of my name so that when I write in a couple of days (the hosp does have wifi thankgosh!), I know that at least one person knows to watch for me to say I'm alive and kicking. I doesn't have to be a permanent relationship or a pen pal arrangement...just a one time deal. If someone were here for me and would be okay with keeping an eye open for me to say I'm alive and kicking, I think I'd have that much more incentive to get better. To remember to get better for those I haven't even met yet. I don't know how to make a recruiting station other than putting one of my generic email addresses telling you to just let me know that you'll be watching out for me for the next couple of days, like my very own little DListed guardian angel.
Okay, I've made up the address: DLsAtomicCity@gmail.com if anyone would like to write so we can get acquainted and I'll know who I'm looking out for in a couple of days to let you know I've made it out alive and happy.
Thanks all for raising my spirits!!! Like we say in these parts, "You're good people (even if you are an individual, we'd still call you plural), and good people are my kinda people."
Signing out for now,
AtomicCity
"A candle loses nothing of its light by lighting another candle."--catholicschoolgirl
Thanks so much, you guys. NDN, when I first read your response I burst into tears. Seeing in someone else's words made it that much more real. The kids range in age from 3-13 and my life absolutely revolves around each one of them. The three oldest (13, 11 and 9) live 15 minutes away from me so I'm very much a part of their lives as they are mine. They have a clearer understanding as they've seen me a couple of times in the hospital (they've asked to visit, I originally didn't want them to see me there), so I explained what the IVs did and how they helped make me better. The boys seemed to have a better grasp, but my niece wouldn't leave my bed. I sat and painted her nails the day before her school year started. My sister said she wouldn't take it off until it completely wore off. The other 3 live in south MS so I see them several times through the year, but not as often. My youngest niece could probably comprehend, but she's VERY sensitive and attached to me. My youngest nephew, he could probably understand that I was sick and then drop trou to pee off the front porch (we're some good ol' country folk).
Howdareyou and Hysteria, thank you so much for your personal touches. It makes it easier to grasp when someone can relate, no matter the correlation.
The other of y'all, again, thank you for your kind words and encouragement. It makes me realize that if people that I don't even know have at least somewhat of an interest in my well-being, then my family sure as shit does. So, regardless of the outcome on Wednesday, I am going to absolutely kick every sickly part of my body's ass (sounds counter-productive to me, but you understand). My sickly pancreas, liver, spleen, and small and large intestines can all kiss my ass because I'm going to start making the rules now. I hope they've taken note at the lack of my reproductive system and gall bladder. That way they can realize that when those two started with their shenanigans, I wasn't having it, they were out of there. Granted, I need these hooligans to live, but by God, I'm gonna whip them back into shape.
Somehow I've gone from a blubbering snot ball to a Yosemite Sam or some cartoon general; but hey, at least I'm not crying.
Mark my words, by next summer will compete in at least a mini-tri, maybe a half-tri...but a tri, nonetheless. The Iron Man may have to wait.
So yes, as the great Bob Marley says, "Don't worry about a thing, cause every little thing is gonna be all right."
Thank to you all. To those of hurting allow us to hurt with you. For those of you laughing, allow us to laugh with you. And for those of us who are just pissed off and wanna raise some hell, allow us to make us a drink of our favorite liquor drink, drink it slowly and then throw that glass at that somebitch of a wall with you. It's amazing. Must of us haven't met, I wouldn't know a fellow DLer if they licked me on the face (actually that would probably give it away), and yet we all generally care so much for one another. See there is still good.
Good night my friends. Funny, if I hadn't have lost my job today (Mon), I'd already be up and getting ready to work today (Tues). I'm still awake and I'm just gonna chill today because the next day will be the toughy. I'm sleeping late, after the hub leaves for work I'm getting my big, loveable doggy in the bed with me and maybe I'll go get a mani/pedi or my hair done later.
Thank y'all for this newfound hope and faith.
"A candle loses nothing of its light by lighting another candle."--catholicschoolgirl
Submitted by AtomicCity on Tue, 09/20/2011 - 12:31am.
So sorry for all the issues you're going thru. I don't normally do the open post, but I wanted to send a message of hope.
I can really relate. When I was first diagnosed with cancer (uterine), among the first things I thought of were my niece and nephew. I didn't want to leave a bad memory for them of their aunt dying. It's totally normal to be go thru all kinds of scary feelings.
A health-related support group aimed at your particular issue can be really helpful. Cancercare.org is a great site for patients and caregivers.
Having gone thru radiation and chemo, I can say that radiation is not that bad at all. I was scared too. But beyond fatigue and a slightly upset stomach, I didn't feel much different.
You can do it for sure.
Now is the time to focus on yourself and healing. Your whole life is still ahead. Best wishes.
.
.
damn it why do i always miss the op
just saying hi to anyone else that is up. fuck i dont want to go to work.
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A baby's first words should not be: "DEATH DON'T TAKE ME NOW!!!" - MK
of the fighting back persuasia
http://youtu.be/my_Efk19OJw
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
Awww man I hate mondays. I got an early class tomorrow so I must bid you all a(early) good night.
@Hotmami. . . Shine bright you star.
@AtomicCity. . . Stay positive ! ! I will be thinking of you and praying on wednesday.
@Becky. . . talk to ya later.
@athens. . . Hello and goodbye, music master.
Submitted by becky n sydney on Tue, 09/20/2011 - 12:33am.
Howdareyou!! How are you, babe? How's the neck?
____________________________________
Hi, becky, the neck is sucking less, and I think that I am growing a new tooth where my crown busted out. lol, really, I'm that delusional. Call me MelloYello Oprah. Quite rightly.
Yes, I'm drinking. Thank you for asking! :)
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"Your ignorance makes me ill and angry. Your savageness...must...end."
atomicCity,so sorry to read what you are going through and it is normal to feel pessimist,take strength from within and fight this,concentrate on getting well and remember you are not alone,millions of people struggle with health problems all over the world,fight back and don't be afraid.
Submitted by AtomicCity on Tue, 09/20/2011 - 12:31am.
_____________________________________
I'd like to respond to you in the most gentle way possible, by relating a story.
My mother suffered pancreatitis and had to go days without food before her gall bladder was removed. Before she was released from the hospital, an ER doctor wanted to do an MRI because of a spot he saw on an xray of her lung; it turned out to be cancer, but that diagnosis wasn't made before 2 bronchioscopies (I know that's not the right term) and several scans over a couple of months following her release from the hospital (she was so weak, I had to carry her into her house while dragging her oxygen tank). At that time, my mother was 70 and had survived 2 heart bypass surgeries, the second of which involved some sort of explosion of part of her heart behind scar tissue.
My point: You're less than half my mama's age. You can get through radiation, if my mama did. You don't want to die. You are young, and you are not worn out. Chin up. Do it. This is not the end of your story.
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"Your ignorance makes me ill and angry. Your savageness...must...end."
@NDN I think there may still be an issue. I've changed my privacy settings (I thought that was the problem), but my daughter tells me I still can't be searched. Dunno. :(
Submitted by AtomicCity on Tue, 09/20/2011 - 12:31am.
Oh, mama, I can't even imagine what you must be going through. I'm sitting here wondering what can possibly be said to make you feel better.
All I can say is, PLEASE know that you will be in my thoughts. If you need to talk, we are here for you.
*hugs*
***********************************************
Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
@Becky. . .I tried yesterday. No go. But, will retry.
@AtomicCity. . . Depending on your nieces/nephews ages, if they don't know about the severity of the situation tell them. If you feel like it might traumatize them, at least call them and tell them you love them and have a good talk about whatever you want.
Stay positive ! ! ! Those John Hopkins docs are some of the best in the world.
NDN, thanks for your posts. He actually hasn't seen our daughter since she was four months old. She's two years old now, and such a joy to me. I'm in the military (he used to be), and we're in different countries right now. I can never completely shut the door on him because he has to have some way to contact her if he ever wants to. It's been a couple months and it still feels like it all happened yesterday. I do know that one day it will hit him what a mistake he's made. I feel deep down that he thinks about us...I can't explain it. He'll figure it out when he pops up years from now and our daughter doesn't want anything to do with him. It sounds vindictive, but it is what it is.
howdareyou, thank you for your comment.
I'm still in here somewhere...I just have to find myself again, that's all.
Diary of a Mad Black Woman is on right now...:)
***********************************************
Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
Howdareyou!! How are you, babe? How's the neck?
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
@ Becky. . .ya know, I was thinking about Lemony today too.
I haven't taken the time to read any comments yet, but I just need to be incredibly self-centered for a second. I just need to vent. I don't mind if I get no response, I just need to put this out in the universe so I'm not just harboring it all inside.
I've mentioned recently in another OP that I've been diagnosed with a fairly rare disorder. Due to this, I've been incredibly sick for about 4 months. I had one surgery already a month ago, which was pretty experimental and as a result I developed pancreatitis and wound up in the hospital for a bit. My doctor, who is a specialist that I have to travel several hours one way to see (there are only 5 doctors in the east who treat this), 'hoped' that I would basically be all better after my recovery. I've been sicker than ever and Wednesday I'm having a second surgery. This time my chances of developing pancreatitis again are even higher and there is also a very high risk for bowel perforation. During the first surgery a tumor was found in a bile duct and biopsied--it's malignant and the only option is removal. Which I'm optimistic that it's localized and hasn't spread anywhere else. I'm more concerned about going through the pancreatitis again or ending up with a perforated bowel. My surgeon is amazing, and I have complete faith and confidence in him (and the other specialists coming in from Wake Forest and Johns Hopkins to consult and observe, since I'm kind of a rare case), but he has to stress the risks of this surgery and the complications that may arise. If I don't respond to this surgery, radiation is the only other option for treatment. I'm terrified of going through radiation treatment. I've already been diagnosed with uterine cancer and opted to go through a complete surgical attempt to remove any cancer. So far so good, the surgery was almost a year ago to the day. Though I'll never have biological children (I was diagnosed two months after becoming engaged, I've been married almost 5 months), I've made my peace with it and my husband and I have always discussed adoption before we knew it would be a requirement not an option.
I've tried to be positive and optimistic. But today I just feel...I don't even know. I've just turned 32--I know I'm not a child anymore, but I just feel too young to have gone through all of this. In the last year or so I've had more surgeries than several 'normal' people combined.
On top of everything, I was told half an hour before leaving work that I wouldn't be needed any longer. I worked for the federal government and shit like this happens daily. But I bust my ass and get my work done and do it well. I'm only not there when I absolutely cannot function. Tuesday I passed out in the restroom and once on-site medics checked me out, they took me to the hospital. The supervisor who 'let me go' today was the one who rode with me in the ambulance and stayed with me even after my husband arrived.
Sure it sucks that my contract has ended today, but I'm okay with taking some time to heal and get healthy. What I'm not okay with is wondering how my brother and sister will explain to my nieces and nephews that their favorite aunt has died. I know I'm being extreme, but I'm freaking the crap out. I don't want to go Wednesday, but it's not an option. If I don't do it, I'll end up still dying, just slower and more drawn out.
I hate being a pessimist and focusing on the negatives, but I'm just exhausted, mentally and physically. I sincerely don't know that I can do this.
"A candle loses nothing of its light by lighting another candle."--catholicschoolgirl
@NDN
Did you try to search me on FB? There were some issues yesterday (and the previous 3 days), but I think the problem is now resolved. :)
*crosses fingers*
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
Submitted by Hotmami on Tue, 09/20/2011 - 12:12am.
I'm a little prone to melodrama, but I can honestly say that I don't feel like the same person anymore. To borrow your phrase, I feel like my light has dimmed, and I have no idea how to get it back.
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I know exactly how you feel. It's been a little over 3yrs for me in a similar situation. I barely feel like my old self now. As long as you let baby daddy see the child and that's it, you will naturally regain your light. Go get your hair did(even if you usually don't), get a mani/pedi, buy some fuck-me pumps(for a rainy/horny day) or a new cocktail dress(again for a rainy/horny day. Then, when you do feel confident you'll be ready. When you regain your light he'll try every trick to seduce you. Don't let him and let him suffer that he lost you and you've moved on.
Submitted by Hotmami on Tue, 09/20/2011 - 12:12am.
Sweetie, your light hasn't dimmed. He may have cataracts and can't see it as well, but him seeing it doesn't affect how brightly your light shines.
************************************
"Your ignorance makes me ill and angry. Your savageness...must...end."
Where's Athens and Lemonene?
For Hotmami, from NDN:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BQsJb7w83w
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
Hey Becky. I don't know how to do all that posting youtube tech wizardry. Can you post Kraftwerks "The telephone call" for Hotmami, please.
Submitted by NDNchief on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 11:54pm
Beautifully (and accurately) expressed, NDN.
I'll never understand the sense of ownership some people feel, but then I've never comprehended the need to control.
Submitted by NDNchief on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 11:54pm.
God it hurts so bad to think that I was/am his back up plan, but...maybe it's true. It just seems like he would have taken things all the way, you know, not just implied that he wanted to marry me and then disappeared off the face of the Earth.
There's a part of me that wants to believe that he knows how much I love him, and that he knows in the long run that he wouldn't be what I deserve. I like to think that's what happened, but I'm too realistic to believe that for long. Dude bailed.
I'm a little prone to melodrama, but I can honestly say that I don't feel like the same person anymore. To borrow your phrase, I feel like my light has dimmed, and I have no idea how to get it back.
***********************************************
Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
@Hotmami
I also think both Heidi and Lindsay are hooking. I'm sure that's why Heidi was in Vegas the other day, and her 'business' schedule just happened to coincide with her birthday. There is probably some substance abuse as well, if only to help her deal with the 'transactions'.
From famewhore, to just plain whore. :(
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
Submitted by Hotmami on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 11:30pm.
Anyway, I've been writing about us, trying to get my feelings out, and it's depressing the shit out of me. But it's the only that I feel I can get over him. Somewhat.
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Hello Hotmami,
We've never conversed before but I have a bit of experience with this sort of thing. If you don't mind my 2 cents.
You said you're trying to get over him but you have loved him since you met him. That kind of love doesn't go away right away, even after years apart. Having a child further complicates your situation. You also mentioned that he started contacting you after wifey left. Sounds to me like you're the back-up or plan B. You're worth more than that. He probably knows about your love for him and uses that to manipulate you.
One last thing. . . Some of us are shining stars and attract a lot of attention/notice. Some people want to get close to your light. Then they want to own your light or keep it from others. Yet they don't realize that by limiting/trying to own your light they are in fact dimming it. Then after awhile they see you're not as bright as you once were and leave you because you're not the same as you used to be. Then when you are away from that person for a time and you begin to get brighter they notice you again. If you let it, the cycle starts all over again.
Sorry about the mini-novel.
@Hotmami
You seem like someone with keen instincts and a good grasp of human behaviour. Just trust yourself and your ability to discern between "fact and fiction", then you can't go wrong.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Submitted by Arlene Machiavelli on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 11:43pm.
Point being just make it all about you. Fuck him and everyone else. It works.
I've been trying to. I just focus on my daughter...she makes everything better. She really does. :)
***********************************************
Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
Point being just make it all about you. Fuck him and everyone else. It works.
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 11:36pm.
Thanks, Mickey. I wish I could figure out, if hes' not worthy of me, how I have let myself get so emotionally invested in him.
***********************************************
Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
@ HM I've been in similar situation with my ex hubby. Finally moved the fuck on- like he did and still with the I want you back fuckery..feels weird still and it took what seemed like forever but now I am way happier.
Submitted by Hotmami on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 11:30pm.
Sorry to butt in with a cliché, but this guy is so not worthy of you. Here's hoping that the writing will help you rid your system of him.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Becky, I was referring to the hooking. I can't imagine how else Heidi is surviving at this point. There probably is substance abuse too, and she has those dead eyes.
Both of them need serious help, and neither one will get it.
***********************************************
Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
Ok, so long story short, my daughter's dad and reconnected about 4 months ago after not speaking for 6 months. Coincidentally, this happened after his little wifey left him. Anyways, I have been in love with him almost since I met him, and a couple months ago, he started saying that he wanted us to be a family,that he'd always had feelings for me, all that jazz.
So around the middle of July I checked his FB page and saw a post on there from this girl talking about their first date, and how she would always be there for him, blahblahblah. Douche had to stupidity, audacity, whatever, to respond to her.
That's not really the whole story...
Anyway, I've been writing about us, trying to get my feelings out, and it's depressing the shit out of me. But it's the only that I feel I can get over him. Somewhat.
***********************************************
Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
Back in 20 mins - gotta pick my daughter up from the station!
@Hotmami
Do you think Heidi has substance abuse issues? Or are you referring to the endless procedures?
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
Submitted by becky n sydney on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 11:20pm.
Hey NDN! How are you, babe?
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Submitted by NDNchief on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 10:51pm.
I haven't been on a date in a year and a half(by choice) so I'm gonna be like Liz Lemon and have a relationship with my tv. Since the new tv season has started I'm gonna date Kat Dennings from "2 broke girls" and Zooey Dechanel from "the new girl".
I'm a playa like that.
Hey, Becky! :) Lindsay is at rock bottom. I don't give a fuck, when you are sucking fat dude's dicks just to get into parties...you can't get any lower than that.
She and Heidi Montag should get together, because they are damn near interchangeable now.
***********************************************
Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
@Mickey
Not much (as usual). We've had crazy winds here today, there are bits of trees all over my yard. Something else to pick up. :(
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
Submitted by Hotmami on Mon, 09/19/2011 - 11:16pm.
Hello, whores. Having a bad day. Also, the tv stations over here blow harder than Lilo to get into a Fashion Week party.
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Back at ya ! !
I care more about you having a bad day than LiLo. Go ahead and let it out. You know the D cares.
I still have hope fo dat ho.