QOTD: Daphne Guinness Will Eat When She’s Dead

Beer heiress and Madge’s arm twin Daphne Guinness says that contrary to popular belief, not all fashionista socialites keep their bodies as light the air under a hanger by barfing up bile into a solid gold toilet and cutting their coke with Airborne (a bitch has to have her vitamins). Using a fork is for the bougies and digesting solids is for the fatties. The Daily Mail says that during an interview with The New Yorker, Miss Daphne closed her lips to a plate of pasta and then let us know that her farts smells like a convalescent home and the kitchen sink for a frat house.

A new interview has revealed how she announced: ‘I’ll eat when I’m dead,’ when offered lunch during a photo shoot.

Revealing that the 43-year-old had been existing on Red Bull and Ensure nutrition shakes for most of the day, the New Yorker told how she refused her assistant’s offer of a plate of pasta.

She explained: ‘If I eat, I can’t work.’

Daphne can’t see her reflection in a mirror (everything makes sense now, I know), so technically she’s a vampire, which means she doesn’t eat anyway. But even if she did, I wouldn’t take eatin’ advice from her. You can’t trust a ho who looks like a faded red ant sucking on Sour Patch Kids salt. And you really can’t trust a ho who doesn’t eat carbs and won’t even drink her last name. She won’t even drink her last name! The. Fuck.