When Your Wax Figure Is Less Waxy Than You Are
On the left is a wax-covered inanimate object that is full of chemicals and will melt into a puddle of bad decisions if it is put under the sun, and on the right is a wax-covered inanimate object that is full of chemicals and will melt into a puddle of bad decisions if it is put under the sun. Seriously, both of these bitches belong in the SALE section of the Yankee Candle catalog.
At Madame Tussauds in Las Vegas yesterday, Fergie Ferg proudly unveiled the wax figure she made herself by using her newly sharpened nose to chisel out her likeness from a block of melted honey candles. The belle of Hacienda Heights christened her new wax figure by grabbing onto its plastic wax tit balls for the cameras. Now Fergie knows how her doctors feels when they give her plastic wax tit balls a squeeze during a breast exam.
But seriously, I don't even know which one looks more like the real Fergie. That walking wax figure in the red dress looks more like Lacey Schwimmer with a deflated chin. This was just a bad business decision on Madame Tussauds' part. Fergie rotates and pinches her mug so often that every few months Madam Tussauds will have to hire the Holmes on Holmes crew to renovate her wax figure's face so it matches. IN THIS ECONOMY nonetheless!
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I went to the Hollywood Wax Museum last night and I had sex with Raphel the ninja turtle and then I leaked it onto Forrest Gump's bench.
The Belle of the Post-Meth Ravaged Hacienda Heights for sure. The Heights was my hometown, my Mom & ex Mom in Law still live there (god knows why) and that town is depressingly unrecognizable, although Fergie did donate laptops to the local HS, my Alma Matter. (Why am I admitting this in public?)
Anyway, I too thought it was Kim Catrall boob touching Kirstie Alley, and I also do not have, nor have I ever had a FB account. I hate it when my insurance company or a particular company that patronize ask to be "liked" on FB to get discount or whatever.
I loathe FB.
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"How nice, to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive."
- Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five
1) omg, they didn't even get her skin tone right, unless she spray-tanned before the unveiling (stupid).
2) Looks more like Carmen Electra.
3) She's from Hacienda Heights? Aw crap. First I have to deal with Octomom living in my old town of La Habra, and now this? Fuck my life.
Boston Bruins-- Stanley Cup Champs 2011
I thought the wax figure was Kirstie Alley.
" Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer"..William S. Burroughs
i refuse to have a fb. yes, i have an iphone and love technology but don't want my bidness on the net. no twitter, my space facebook or whatever. have you tube acct too, but never upload either. husband has one. dont care, just told him don't put shit about me or upload pics of me on there. it seems like for the over 40 crowd facebook is a way for them to track down their old high school and college pals and stuff like that. not interested in reliving the past and far too busy. jmo. nothing against facebookers but i wont go to anyones facebbok page even if they say " oh, i posted that pic on facebook:" they gotta mms me. fuck facebook and the horse it rode in on. jmo
Looks like Joanie "Chyna" Lauer in a blonde wig.
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YOU AIN'T GOT NO MONEY!!!! MOVE THE FUCK ON!
~But.Seriously.Folks
I have NEVER liked this woman: it's visceral.
Submitted by vidz on Fri, 09/23/2011 - 3:57pm.
Submitted by MudTurtle on Fri, 09/23/2011 - 12:36pm.
guest, I think you and I are the only two people left on earth without fb.
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Count me and my best friend in.
ETA: MT you is purdy. You look like a all natural, prettier kendra
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I know you don't know me, but I don't have a FB or ever had any other "social media" besides a youtube page and that's only to view. I never upload!
Just had to say. I wish FB would die!! Glad to hear I'm not the only one. You almost get scorned these days if you say you don't have FB! It makes me sick! (done ranting. thank you for reading.)
ETA: I forgot my original thought/comment was going to be with wth is with Fuggie Fug's hair? Is she going to be the next Marilyn impersonator on a mag cover?
Hahaha! The waxwork has her old nose! Needs the tip pared down to match Fergie's newie.
what do you have to do to get a wax figure these days? perform the worst super bowl halftime ever? ugh.
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
I was wondering if does exist some surgical procedure that can fix low foreheads like hers. If it does exist, she'd better consider it.
The face reminds me of Deborah Messing.
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Droppin Kids Off in the Pool
Please adopt before you visit a breeder: www.petfinder.com to find a pet in your area.
It's not authentic enough. They forgot about the pee stain on her crotch.
I don't even think Fergie recognizes this wax person with a metallic crotch.
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I'm sorry Ma'am, but our meat lovers pizza does not include penis. - Pizza Hut order# 27
What? I thought it was Kirstie Alley!
Ya, I totally thought it was Kirstie Alley. Fergie should sue! At least now we know what size Fergie is, right?
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This signature will be publicly displayed at the end of my comments.
http://hipandcritical.blogspot.com/
Submitted by MudTurtle on Fri, 09/23/2011 - 12:36pm.
guest, I think you and I are the only two people left on earth without fb.
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Count me and my best friend in.
ETA: MT you is purdy. You look like a all natural, prettier kendra.
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"I'm so over Sookie and her precious fairy vagina and her unbelievably stupid name! Fuck Sookie!" - Vampire Badass Pamela Swynford De Beaufort.
Are you sure that's not Kirstey Alley????? Same size, same hair, same shape, yiikes!
Fergie wishes.
Count me as another one who doesn't want to put up a real pic or real e-mail or FB. (My avvie is a close enough likeness.) The scary alt people scare the shit out of me.
Like I said a while back, I ALREADY hang out with you guys HERE. Then I got attacked by the alt/troll for being a pussy and overprotective of my identity and family. Those assholes ruin it for everyone.
where's her wedding ring?
I think she looks adorable now.
nice face work.. you no longer look like you have the meth complexion.. now please leave your face alone..
the wax fergie is hot.. lol.. but does remind me of a skinny kirstie alley lol
I was like, Why the fuck is there a wax figure of Anna Wintour?
It looks like Italian host Alba Parietti.
The eyes & forehead are different btw the wax & the original
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As useless as a saggy pair of tits
No. Would not guess it was her unless I read the display tag. Wth ever happened to ppl who make wax figures taking pride in making the waxwork look so much like the real thing that you & the crowd behind you are saying, "Woooooo!" ??? Because they totally missed it here.
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As useless as a saggy pair of tits
@TheBreakdown; I also thought the wax figure was Kirstie at first. Still love ya, Ferg!
"I make myself sick, get on my own nerves. Immature, insecure grown up nerd."
-Fatlip (The Pharcyde)
I like Fergie's music and she doesn't seem like a bad person. Quit hating, MK!
"I make myself sick, get on my own nerves. Immature, insecure grown up nerd."
-Fatlip (The Pharcyde)
Spoiled, EXACTLY....
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Who would be the fool to maybe trade
A kiss in time, and who am I to say that's crazy, love -
Will make you blind
In the church of the poison mind
Guest, that's why it was only from the neck up!!!
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She appears to be under the delusion that she is so hot that she can go around sans fards. She needs the fards.-Deb 7/29/11
Her wax figure looks like Kirstie Alley!
I's just sayin'!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
I had the odd occasion of being with a client when I saw they had dListed up on their laptop. I immediately squealed with delight and we started talking all things Michael K. Then we both realized that neither of us wanted the other to know our screen personas! It was so funny and uncomfortable at the same time. I don't need clients, friends or family knowing that "Spoiled" is me!!!
Well, they got her hairline right, at least.
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"I'm not crazy; I'm just a little unwell."
SFRB, I WAS one of the people who had a pic stolen, and it was just of my back! I must have put one up at some point though, because Fraggle/pip/dot knows what i look like. I am NOT comfortable with Allessandra, Ziggy, marvin or boston61 knowing what I look like- or any other schmuck that posts here.
I am with Datura.
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Who would be the fool to maybe trade
A kiss in time, and who am I to say that's crazy, love -
Will make you blind
In the church of the poison mind
I think it looks like Carmen Electra....the wax figure, that is.
Here's an OK "Fergie Progression" series of photos:
http://bp1.blogger.com/_b1U69LqMMIk/RdatzOZF99I/AAAAAAAAAT8/e1Ulk_OVPzI/...
It's also 6 years old, so she's changed even more...
neither one of them looks like fergie and i don't have FB either. i hate that shit.
Whoops! Someone done fucked up her nose!
Her nails make me want to barf. Her poses makes me want to punch her. And her stupid wax figure looks like Carmen Electra and Tara Reid's baby.
UGH.
Submitted by agirl on Fri, 09/23/2011 - 12:50pm.
She had another nose job? Why? She looks like Kim Cattral now
Looks like she had something done to her jawline too - used to look sort puffy/jowly (is that even a word?)
turt...your first pic was much more flattering...just sayin. hahahaha.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Thanks annobanano! I am the only person in the world with my name, so I'm pretty protective. You do a Google search, it's me and only me. I don't need everyone and anyone knowing my business...being involved in a covert ops and all... ;)
Here's another Fergie Before & After shot:
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_uzT9Av1NX0/TetX93gZ-dI/AAAAAAAAAVc/XYM2eGPsi_...
Wax figures freak me out. It's a little too 70s cheesy horror movie to me.
She had another nose job? Why? She looks like Kim Cattral now.
@Guest - I NEED OPEN POST I cannot continue to be disrespectful to fergie and PISS all over this thread with my musings
:-)
@ Spoiled - FB is becoming more & more a pain in the ass so you're not really missing out.
sugar...wth are you saying? LOL.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
*sits in the corner with guest and spoiled*
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She appears to be under the delusion that she is so hot that she can go around sans fards. She needs the fards.-Deb 7/29/11
Datura - I understand. :-) But I refuse to continue imagining that you look like a butt-lipped monkey, so this is the photo I've assigned to you in my mind:
http://imageshack.us/f/155/flipoffgirl.jpg/
Count me as another one of the few without Facebook along with ONE of my sisters and ONE close friend.