QOTD: Everybody Wants A Body Like Jodie Marsh’s

Now that England’s finest rose has tits like a T-Rex’s ass boil, abs like a deep fried rack of ribs and a belly button that sort so of looks like an alligator’s terrifying eye, she says everybody retinas are dripping with green liquid when they stare at her body. No, it’s not because the sight of Jodie Marsh causes eyeballs to grow warts that leak green discharge. It’s because jealous bitches are green with envy and will gladly give themselves roid enemas and shove a grill pan under their stomach skin if it means they can have a body just like hers. The most beautiful woman in Britain and the demure roid flower that has a crotch tattoo that is probably less terrifying than the crotch from which it’s flying from said this about her gristle body to Heat (via Daily Mail):

“I feel proud when I look in the mirror. I still can’t believe it’s my body. Like, when I look at my abs, I’m just like, fucking hell, I love it so much! I’m the prettiest I’ve ever looked.

If you’re not in the bodybuilding world it is scary, but to me it’s normal. I think I still look really feminine. It has totally changed my life, doing this. My self-esteem is higher, my confidence is higher, I feel more secure, feel powerful – I almost feel invincible.

I do feel a bit like Superwoman. Now every single person around me is jealous of my body.’

The only shit that was around Jodie when she said this was a pile of salmon jerky and the alien that ripped through Kane’s chest in Alien, so technically the bitch is telling the truth!