Taylor Lautner Is Not Gay, So Says Taylor Lautner
If you took Taylor Lautner out of Hollywood, you'd take away 90% of the gay blind items. Taylor Lautner is destined to join Scientology, marry some girl from a show on The CW, exchange her human parts for robot parts, claim the girl baby she made with her ex-boyfriend as his own and name his new daughter Irus. But Taylor says this isn't going to happen. Even though Taylor has a forehead made for a butch top to watch HD porn on while he rides that peen cowboy-style, he says that he's not gay at all.
GQ Australia brought up Taylor's dinner date with openly gay director Gus Van Zant and writer Dustin Lance Black and asked him if they hit on him. Taylor responded with this:
"No, definitely not. I think they know I'm straight. But they're great guys. They're a lot of fun. It's not a coincidence that there was a writer, a director and an actor at dinner."
Oh yeah, GQ Australia. When two gay dudes take a straight (for pay) dude to dinner, they automatically try to footsie him in the crotch under the table. I know that when two straight dudes take me to dinner, by the time dessert rolls around they get me to eat a plate of coochies and cream. And then I'm turned! Before you know it, I'm feasting on poon pavlova and diving face first into pussies jubilee. After I air kiss the straights at the exit door, I turn back into a gay. Yup, I drink the cooze-aid every time I have dinner with two straight dudes.
As for Taylor saying he's straight, this GIF starring one of his relatives pretty much sums up my response:
via Examiner
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I am stealing that GIF.....
LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I guess it's best to end a relationship the same way you start it: absolutely fucking tanked. MK 6/11
Seriously, what in the fuck is wrong with this princess's nose? It's so pug it practically barks.
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"Oh, really? Did she like it?"
"I just love being a whore - you meet the most fascinating paint salesmen and curtain-rod manufacturers!"
"Oh, Honey. You´re simple, you´re shallow and you´re a common whor
Submitted by Arlene Machiavelli on Thu, 10/13/2011 - 1:11am.
Question to my d list homies and homegirls:
If a dude likes his ass fingered, is he ghey or super freakeh?
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Neither; it's a very erotic area (just ask Taylor Lautner). It feels good, so keep playing that trombone. (Just be sure to have some wipes by the bed to wipe your stinky butt finger.)
This whole article had me laughing. I want that llama.
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"Joy and sorrow are life's companions."
Gay or no, he's still ugly as sin and as interesting as a wet chipboard door.
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"In other news, the University of Color Me Surprised released a report today which states that water is indeed wet. Mind. Boggled" - Michael K, who else?
That pose! That nose! I cant!
Is it me, or does Taylor Lautner have an oversized noggin? It doesn't seem in proportion to the rest of his body.
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Vanity is the price of fame.
I see no PUCKER!!
What in GD hell kind of Inspector Gagnut pose is this?!
LOL at the llama side eye! MK, you're a mad-genius.
I want that llama!! (ever since I saw one go to the dentist on Sesame Street, I wanted one)
On the other hand Taylor is standing up like he wants to take a piss but doesn't want any to run on his fancy new shoes.
Submitted by MaxThrax on Wed, 10/12/2011 - 8:40pm.
So why would a world class director work with a talentless hack? Just checked Van Zant's IMDB and he ain't working on anything with Lautner. So about that dinner date....
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Exactly. I don't know if Taylor L is a talentless hack (I haven't seen enough of his work to judge), but he's harldy Gus Van Sant movie material.
Furthermore:
"It's not a coincidence that there was a writer, a director and an actor at dinner."
IMO, that statement along contradicts everything he said prior.
Please.
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WORDS MEAN NOTHING, fashion speaks volumes. -MK
I think he's fug and leather shoes without socks makes my teeth ache.
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Submitted by MaxThrax on Wed, 10/12/2011 - 8:24pm.
Maybe if he sucked a few cocks he'd be a better actor. You could put a black wig on a log and glue some googly eyes to it and it would have a greater emotional range.
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ILMAFOOOO'd at this!!!!!!!
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Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.
Submitted by Vanilla cupcake on Thu, 10/13/2011 - 7:54am.
There was a blind awhile back regarding a Twilight actor that was hardcore ghey and that his fans would be heartbroken if it ever came out.
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...I think that KLutz is the blind.
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The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
Laughing at the llama but I really like Taylor and think he's cute! Gay or straight we all need to be loved!! That llama reminds me of 'Max' from the Jim Carrey "Grinch" movie. Max gives a side eye to the Grinch like that so whenever I do that myself I always say I am giving you my Max moment.
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Visit my husband's webcomic DUNGEON HORDES at http://www.drunkduck.com/dungeon_hordes
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oh really? could have fooled me. he's also fug.
lmfao @ super freakeh for $500 Alex .
Thanks sonne ;)
Anyone else care to answer my?
Taylor and Kris Humphries could be brothers. They both have that cro-magnon look.
There was a blind awhile back regarding a Twilight actor that was hardcore ghey and that his fans would be heartbroken if it ever came out.
Also? He looks like he dressed up in his daddy's trench coat.
I'm sorry, but this kid is butt ugly. Nothing is going to make Lautner hot. Nothing.
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www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Poor kid. He's another one who was pimped out by an awful stage parent.
There are two kinds of stage parents: ones who live vicariously and ones who don't want to get a "real" job so they make the kids earn the dough.
I happen to personally know three families who put their kids into acting professionally and they are not cut out for regular jobs, and the kids are the breadwinners. They're DEFinitely better than the vicarious living parents, but it's still icky to me. One mother is someone I know very well, and she was the laziest bitch at work. Which is weird, because taking kids to auditions and jobs is way more work than pushing paper the way we did.
But I digress... He seems like a nice kid. I hope he gets to be happy someday.
I do know that pose is pretty fuckin gay.
Submitted by Arlene Machiavelli on Thu, 10/13/2011 - 5:38am.
If a dude likes his arse fingered is he ghey or super freakeh?
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From my own experience, one guy was definitely super freaky and straight. The other one was extra super freaky and I was never sure 'cause like you I wondered if he just might be gay. He probably just like to fuck and didn't care who it was, now that I think about it, so....
Super freakeh for 500, Alex!
"Taylor Lautner Is Not Gay, So Says Taylor Lautner"
yea right. and i aint a foul mouth asshole who spins for a livin.
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
libby's side eye gives me life!
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
Honestly, I don't get the appeal of Taylor or the other Twilight boy. It makes me laugh to see all these psychotic "Team Edward" and "Team Jacob" girls.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
Thankyouverymuch Loopy and Hotmami!!!
Anyone else out there who cares to answer my question? I'm truly very grateful :)
If a dude likes his arse fingered is he ghey or super freakeh?
Sketchy. Didn't Dustin have a bareback fucking sex pic scandal a while back ?? A director and writer with an actor?? It's just some handlers and yet another puppet. I'm sure they both creamed the fuck outta the poor kid.
I'm a gay male, so yes. I'm sure Lautner is gay. I'm stoned and up at 4:30 writing on a Taylor Lautner post...WTF?
Yeah yeah Taylor Zellweger, bitch we are not blind.
Somewhere in a hollywood gay spa, Gus Van Zant and writer Dustin Lance Black just lifted their head up after licking some twink's ass, and said, "yeah taylor, ive had better".
Yeah sure, being a sandwich in a spit roast 3-some with 2gay dudes doesn't make you gay! thats what i tell myself allllllllllll the time.
sure sure taylor, stop reading the ricky martin guide to closets.
bitch you are soo far inside the closet, you are in Narnia.
Submitted by Arlene Machiavelli on Thu, 10/13/2011 - 1:11am.
Question to my d list homies and homegirls:
If a dude likes his ass fingered, is he ghey or super freakeh?
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Just freaky. lol some straight guys like their asses played with, like that duran duran guy.
Mrs.Campbell,hahaha
Hahaa, that pose is hilarious. Like a 9 year old boy standing in the outfield waiting for a fly ball.
And those shoes! haha. circa 1488 court jester.
I'm sorry. He seems cute, just a funny look.
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Taylor seems like a sweet little loquita, totally different from the 'official hardened hollywood homosexual' such as homosexual tinymeat brad pitt or jon hamm or so many other hollywood homosexuals.
Arlene, I think it could go either way...some dudes ARE super freaky.
However, most of the dudes I know would run in fear (after a healthy dick slap) if a woman put a finger in mere proximity to their no no hole.
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Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
What a ridiculous pose.
Submitted by sushi on Wed, 10/12/2011 - 7:27pm.
"I think they know I'm straight." If you have to declare that, aren't you probably gay?
Agreed!
Question to my d list homies and homegirls:
If a dude likes his ass fingered, is he ghey or super freakeh?
If he is capable of the delusion of identifying as an 'actor', then he is also capable of identifying as 'straight'.
LOL @ Mickey!!
Blind item:
A writer and a director are having diner together. They start arguing over whose penis is longer. The waiter finally gets sick of hearing them arguing, so he tells them he has a way to solve their problem. They just have to stick their penises on the table and he'll tell them whose is bigger. Just as they put them up there, a closeted gay actor walks in (otherwise known as "Jacob Black") and yells "I'll have the buffet!"
Too much clues?
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Rusty, tu nous manque! Sois gentil et donne-nous de tes nouvelles!
I wouldn't hold it against him if he went the Ricky Martin route. You know, closet case who eventually comes out with 2 kids and a lover in tow. Though your probably right in predicting that he'll end up with a permanent beard and hook up in bath houses every chance he gets. That seems to be the preferred modus operandi for actors.
Poor kid. He needs to learn to skirt those questions without lying, cuz the denials will just make it harder if/when he does come out. And the laughter the denials cause doesn't help matters either. All he had to say was, no of course they didn't hit on me. Why would you insinuate they are a couple of old lechers just because they are gay?
That alpaca really does look like him. I used to think he was really handsome until I saw a picture of his dad. Now I see him and I see a grenade of ugly about to explode any second.
marc anthony called. wants his deuce-dropping pose and shitty duds back.
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
If my significant other likes the Twilight movies, does that mean he's gay? Seriously?
If my significant other likes the Twilight movies, does that mean he's gay? Seriously?
BAHAHA! Llama's i mean LIBBY's side eye version of a slow clap
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Eazy E's own prescription for "nourishing the inner aspect", Nutz On Ya Chin.
MK YOU MY HERO!
Just. Wow.
Stoney, Jack, Hekki, Snowpiece, um, who else? I lust u guys. You dont know. Anywayz...Been following ya'll for a minute now so ...wazzzzzup
Just. Wow.
First post on the D. In three years...but really since 2006!
Just. Wow.
Again, as I have said before,this dude has a man's body with a baby face. I just can't go there. I would feel like I was raping a man-child.
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"I was half a virgin when I met him!"
-Mean Girl,Regina George
Alpaca-Yes. Taylor? No.
Just. Wow.
Tapered pants make me feel stabby. I don't care how hot you are. No.
He looks like the male Selena Gomez. They both have that doughy nose and beady brown eyes.