The Photoshop Awards: Adam Levine In Russian Vogue
A note to whoever does the Photoshopping at Russian Vogue: use, don't abuse the OM NOM NOM NOM tool. Those bitches plucked out Adam Levine's chest fur and they were still hongray because they took a bite out of the douche by ripping half of his torso off! Bitch has no right torso! Who actually looked back at this picture and said out loud (I know you were going to read this in a Russian anyway since everything should be read in a Russian accent, but I'm telling you anyway): "Yes, this looks completely natural and it isn't weird at all that he looks like a topless SamRo after some lipo gone wrong shit ate half of her torso. PRINT! DA!!"
That being said, I still would even with a fucked up torso. Just give that bitch a weight to hold with his right hand to balance his ass out when he's on top.
Here's more of Adam with his girlfriend Anne V in Russian Vogue's very special shark attack victim issue.
via Jezebel
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paint him blue and he could be Navii.
*air kisses to MizRo*
Re: Adam = I would, a thousand times, I would. Smug face, still would. Yes, he tries to be hot, but it works. Would, would, would.
Re: the GF, No big shocker that someone like him would date a model, and I'm sure she is stunning in person, but is her face a little masculine, or is it me? That said, I'm not gonna hate like the others, her body is bang-bang, and together, they'll have skinnny, smug babies.
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
Mme too preciousmagpie, me too!!
Dunno who he is, but she sure is purrrrrrty.
I am...doll parts...bad skin...doll heart.
I hate this asshole.
Somedays he looks good, but I like more meat on my man to be sure, plus, something about him screams high maintenance.
These photos= not sexy. They should have photoshopped the sexy in, meaning, rep his body with Henry Cavill or maybe some tasty soccer player and then apply some masculine facial enhancements too.
I thought he was gay? What the hell?
I hate shitty, pansy ass Maroon 5 and Adam Levine and all these idiot supermodels who feed his ego by dating him. Fucking elfin, rat-faced poser, ano, whiny-voiced shitface. I really hate corny elevator pop rock fake bands like this.
And yes, it is about that time of the month for me.
Nothing is more important in this world than lookin' spiffy
Lovin' the Russian face meld in the last thumb.
And to think this guy used to make me feel like Courtney Stodden in a satin nightie.
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Rusty, tu nous manque! Sois gentil et donne-nous de tes nouvelles!
As long as we're discussing cartoons. I think Marvin the Martian is hotter than these twat sickles
Submitted by unemployed_bum on Sat, 10/15/2011 - 11:01am.
Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Sat, 10/15/2011 - 9:24am.
ita with y'all. & yeah...these pics are hot.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Sat, 10/15/2011 - 9:24am.
Adam Levine is hot, he's not as hot as he thinks he is though. You can tell he's got a high opinion of abilities, when maybe he's waaaay overshooting it, annnd, his girlfriend has alot of nerve showing her ass when she doesn't have one. Flat ass bitch.
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Word. He is attractive, but not too much. And his attitude takes away from that also. I've heard for a long time that Adam is a real lothario to and for supermodels, and that fetish just kills both my lady-wood and my respest for the individual. Like, for instance, take Tom Brady. My hubby worships the guy(even named a cat after him) and I think he's a great athlete, but I can't have fantasies about him because of Giselle.
She has no ass,if this wasnAnorexics Weekly I guess this would be hot but they are both too skinny to be that sexy...he doesn't do it for me at all anymore.
Oh....Christopher Meloni should totally be in this magazine. Ugh, now THAT is a sexy fucking piece.
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Angels say they can make you suffer.They give and take like a vicious lover .When all this loses meaning, You'll never want it back somehow"-Neverending White Lights (The Grace)
He isn't sexy. He looks really feminine - not good.
Adam Levine is hot, he's not as hot as he thinks he is though. You can tell he's got a high opinion of abilities, when maybe he's waaaay overshooting it, annnd, his girlfriend has alot of nerve showing her ass when she doesn't have one. Flat ass bitch.
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Angels say they can make you suffer.They give and take like a vicious lover .When all this loses meaning, You'll never want it back somehow"-Neverending White Lights (The Grace)
@unemployed_bum
"Adam will NEVER be like Scott Weiland. Scott Weiland is pure hotness and his voice like God's farts.
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Love the analogy! I've got STP #4 queued up as the next CD for play in my truck. I love all their stuff with the exception of "Shangri La Ti Da" (it's ok). I loved Velvet Revolver's 1st album. "Libertad" is ok.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
@SANS FARDS
"LOVE Scott Weiland and STP. I'm a grunge junkie and so I like anything from that era but they are one of my favorites."
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DITTO. As for the Spaz incident, Poor Scott must have relapsed temporarily. ;)
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
I would also like to concur that Maroon 5 sucks major ass. But I am kind of digging his sleeve tat.
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I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
Submitted by Deb on Sat, 10/15/2011 - 8:21am.
Adam Levine is a douche-bro bad copy of Scott Weiland. 40-something junkie or not, Scott's busted veins are hotter than Levine. AND Weiland actually ROCKS.
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Adam will NEVER be like Scott Weiland. Scott Weiland is pure hotness and his voice like God's farts.
Submitted by Deb on Sat, 10/15/2011 - 8:21am.
Adam Levine is a douche-bro bad copy of Scott Weiland. 40-something junkie or not, Scott's busted veins are hotter than Levine. AND Weiland actually ROCKS.
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LOVE Scott Weiland and STP. I'm a grunge junkie and so I like anything from that era but they are one of my favorites. Except for that one lamentable few weeks where he was spotted with Spaz de la Huerta...I can forgive, though ;)
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I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
Squeeze were a great band! Kind of sad to hear that they are on the "corporate circut".
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
@ Deb - LOL well Train played a corporate (pharma) gig of mine a few years back. Not too long until Adam & his band are doing the same thing. And to think, the corporate gurus had a choice of Train or Squeeze. I was so pissed. Squeeze is a million times better than Train. :)
Amen, lovelylaney. Train didn't suck that bad. Oh well...
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Deb on Sat, 10/15/2011 - 8:21am.
@ Deb - ain't that the truth! This douchenozzel should be whipped until his tattoos are gone for even mentioning Mick in a song. Adam you suck and so does your band. Only a few more years until you're playing corporate gigs like the band Train.
Cheers, harperharper!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
This phony can't even move his bowels like Jagger.
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Brilliant!!!!!!
Adam Levine is a douche-bro bad copy of Scott Weiland. 40-something junkie or not, Scott's busted veins are hotter than Levine. AND Weiland actually ROCKS.
http://stupidcelebrities.net/wp-content/old_pictures/scottw.jpg
And as as a devout Rolling Stones fan, that "Move it Like Jagger" mess makes me ill. This phony can't even move his bowels like Jagger. And here's a thought. If you want to write a song about how Mick Jagger dances, maybe the song itself should rock in some way. It might as well been a waltz for chrissakes.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
chick shudda posed w/ a bag of dicks instead of this peckerhead
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Submitted by miz cynical on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 6:04pm.
totally convinced that Jess Simpson cheated on Nick with him. Ok, random rant over :).
ITA with your hubs - I think he poked JSimp too. Bet that's what started her hopping from dick to dick: she was looking for a post-coital palate cleanser after that douchenozzlery.
Also ITA with all the comments about his ladyboy hands/body. Do not want.
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"That's an awfully high horse sir, may I pet him?"
Um, yeah, I saw him "try" to dance once. Don't ever do that again, Adam.
Additionally, his voice sounds like one of his nuts is caught in his zipper. I just can't with this weak bitch.
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"When I come up, I rush, I rush for you..."
You know, I watched The Voice a couple of times (I know, I know) so to be fair I just want to point out he impressed me because he took it seriously. He wasn't C-Lo the clown or Christina who seems to think she's Simon or Blake who just seemed like "Hey I showed up, what more do you want?"
He actually had a couple of his singers do an outstanding version of "Creep" on an elimination ep and both were so good no one could vote them off, he had to do it. DOH
LOL about the missing right torso though, reminds me of a post a few years ago about Rumer Willis and her missing leg in a photo taken at an airport.
Vogue ? What ?
why is everything becoming chav-ier by the minute ?
Why did he agree to do this? Just ewww.
and why does every shitty singer these days have to put out these reeking perfumes or be a mahdul??
The girly hands and weak chin are enough for me, this guy is not impressive despite the flat butt model.
Ugh, this guy. I can't stand this douche twat. I HATE his voice, his music sucks ass, and he seems like such an arrogant cocksucker.
Thanks, KA! :)
Moody Blues
Submitted by becky n sydney on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 6:02pm.
They failed to photoshop the smug off Adam.
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best comment! becky you funny fucker
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A baby's first words should not be: "DEATH DON'T TAKE ME NOW!!!" - MK
I can't read -apologies to mk --for I am too high. Mais je confesse.. I did like some of their old songs. The new ones are shit. and the lame attempt of utilizing mick jagger works only on sluts with dollar signs in their names, and when they rhyme it with swagger. Eat my fanny Monsieur Levine. (Canadian n'est-ce pas?)
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Don't make me quote Nabokov at you. I'll do it. I promise.
What a friggin douche.
I dont know how anyone could, all it takes is heaing that shitty ass Moves Like Jagger and Id be dry as the Sahara.
Skinny and smug - what's to like?
She could do better, you would think.
His legs and hips in that 1st photo look like a teenaged Brooke Shields from her Calvin Klein jeans commercial from the 80s. Creepy.
He looks like he has a raging case of sucking in the sack. And not in a good way.
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"I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done." -Lucille Ball-sy
He's so tiny, and they made him tinier!
I'm not sure about his complete heterosexuality. That's a face that was born to be tea-bagged.
Leave it to something like this to make me hate tattoos and want to cut my own tattoos out of my skin right now.
Wish the shark had finished off this Douchey McDoucherson so we wouldn't have to look at him at all.
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"Slut, you're not fooling anyone pretending like your knees actually know each other." -- Sinjin
Thank you MK. I thought I was the only one who noticed this.