The Iguana Goddess And Her Gross Husband On Getting Kicked Out Of The Pumpkin Patch

The broken condom baby of Wiploc and Candy from Earth Girls Are Easy and her pedomonster husband were on Dr. Drew's Lifechangers (aka Celebrity Rehab orientation) today to talk in detail about the greatest injustice since Rosa Parks was kicked off that bus! Yes, two spotlight eaters nobody should care about were on a national television show to talk about something nobody should care about and here I am caring about it. I'm suddenly beginning to see the effects that eating dead flies off the window sill as a child did to my brain.

I'll admit that I have Taco Bell meat for brains, but isn't Dr. Drew supposed to be a damn doctor with framed degrees on his wall and shit? Dr. Drew is calmly sitting there as a talking skin graft and a beautiful cracked out hairspray bubble go on and on about getting kicked out of a stupid pumpkin patch, because "the children" were getting scarred by their slutty fuckery. Dr. Drew never quietly leaned over to hit a button that opens a trap door under Courtney and Doug and drops them into an underground mental hospital. Dr. Drew never snapped for two men to bring the straitjackets. Dr. Drew did shit!

I'm going to give Dr. Drew the benefit of the doubt and say that he didn't only have Courtney and Doug on his show for ratings. I'm going to say that after this taping, Dr. Drew left a trail of Playboy pink lipstick from Courtney's dressing room to the back of a padded van.

via Celebuzz

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by Callie on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 5:16pm.

Can someone give the bitch a makeover? She can still be as whorey as she wants but at least dress in the current century.

Submitted by timnsoc on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 4:30pm.

Up next.....Stolen sex tape in 3, 2, 1

Submitted by Bossy on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 3:42pm.

This isn't real, it's an SNL skit. Look at the semi-seizing the girl is doing.

Submitted by nurse_julie on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 3:23pm.

She sounds even dumber than she looks. She seems drugged up or something. And what's with the unibrow?

Submitted by nurse_julie on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 3:23pm.

She sounds even dumber than she looks. She seems drugged up or something. And what's with the unibrow?

Submitted by Rosebud on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 11:00am.

Ugh...I am so sick of this piece of trash always blaming "the women" for complaining about her. I can only hope that some day she comes out of her coma of delusion and is completely embarrassed for acting the way she does...and change that freakin bracelet, PLEASE!!

Submitted by babybunny on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 11:00am.

yep he's gay, yep she is on meth and yep Dr. Drew is a famewhore "doctor" anyone can see this bitch should have been taken away in a straight jacket, and her gay husband should have been flogged and booed...they both suck, but she really is all types of fug...didn't that look go out in the late 70's/early 80's??? She is definately NOT a teeanger. She sux, and he sux and even "Dr." Drew sux....can they all go and get locked up a-la Michael Hohan...they make my eyeballs and brain ache.

Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 9:00am.

Bedraggled mess is right. I don't think there is a working brain cell in her noggin, like it's full of wood shavings or something. She looks and sounds drugged or lobotomized.

He actually can string together a sentence. Still, creeps me the fuck out.

Shame on Dr. Drew for pandering to ratings. He so DID NOT give them a coal-dragging and ask WTF was up with a 17YO looking like a drugged, fucked up, washed up Las Vegas hooker with a 54 YO husband.

*shoves pumpkins in bra*

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Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 8:37am.

She is so fucking annoying. THAT LAUGH! No one thinks you're cute and no one buys you're having sex with that femdork husband of yours.

Grow up and get out.
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"I wonder if Viola adopted a white baby because no one seems to want them anymore. *LOL* ~ stefystef, 10/19/2011

Submitted by hautevoltage2 on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 8:28am.

she is just as gross if not more than him!!!! what is wrong w/ her eye-shadows and is she ever going to do her roots?! shes very 80's and shes got to be like 40 yrs old = ugly ugly ugly
voodooCHILD

Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 8:11am.

SOMEONE HIDE THE METH MONSTER!!!!!!!!!!

Submitted by Elisted on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 8:13am.

This girl needs (but most likely doesn't want) help and Dr. Drew is a shill for ratings. I'd like to ask MK to stop promoting their "careers" but like any good trainwreck, I can't stop watching. Truth: she's not 17 and appears to have substance abuse issues, her "husband" is not straight, her parents should be jailed, and Dr. Drew should be ashamed as a professional for allowing this circus on his show and doing/saying nothing. This girl is on a collision course with disaster and needs a conservatorship pronto.

Submitted by Mabel Hodges on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 7:41am.

I would have TOTALLY had my picture taken with them! I love the irony. It would have been a spectacular thing to take home with me!!! Love it!!! :)

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 7:38am.

Submitted by Jimmy Bocca on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 4:38am.
Submitted by little_rascal on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 9:14pm.
He acts and talks like a gay man, he's just too effeminate. Something very creepy pervy about him.
And she's high on some pill cocktail.

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Oh yea he's soooooo creepy and pervy he MUST be a gay man. GTFOH dumbass.
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YOU are the dumb ass, as usual. Getting your hackles up without properly reading the fucking comment.

Ras was NOT saying he was a creepy perv because he was gay, she made the comment he acts gay, and he has a creepy vibe about him. She was not saying the two were mutually exclusive you hypersensitive jerk!

Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 7:26am.

Also, I wanted to point out that she looks really messy and bedraggled here.

In her earlier appearances, she looked well-groomed and well-rested. As much as I think she is over the top with her makeup and clothing and hair, she looked clean. Here, she REALLY looks unhealthy and unkempt.

As much as I can't stand Paris Hilton and Kim K, they look like they take care of themselves. They look clean and polished. Tricks like Lohan can be all made up but they look dirty.

Courtney used to be like Paris, now she looks like Lohan.

Submitted by Kandykane on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 7:02am.

'Dr. Drew never quietly leaned over to hit a button that opens a trap door under Courtney and Doug and drops them into an underground mental hospital.'

That is EPIC LOL Made me choke on my toast. You have to give Dr. Drew some props though. At least he was sitting there with an unconcealed WTF look on his face. That Stoddard bint is unintentionally hilarious. I really hope they don't drop into obscurity too soon because the labia hanging out of the daisy dukes MUST be topped.

Submitted by charlottecorday on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 6:52am.

Over botoxed quack, overbearing gay stage father, acrylic hair.

Submitted by greeneggs on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 6:51am.

I would agree with everybody who said she was on something. Something ain't right, she's really weird and can't sit still and frankly I find the snaggle tooth distracting.

Submitted by from athens on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 6:47am.

LaChaylo,hahaha thank you!

Submitted by guest on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 6:46am.

What is she on??? Out of the three of them...Dr. Drew is the biggest ho of all. Not a compliment. Gah.

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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.

Submitted by MJF on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 6:15am.

Submitted by LaChaylo on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 11:33pm.
Holy shit, this made me laugh: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHzyh6BFM5M

LMFAO!!!!!
*dies, revives, laughs self into coma, dies again*

~*~Hello, my baby! Hello, my honey! Hello, my ragtime gal....~*~

Submitted by shandi on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 6:02am.

Submitted by Cognitive Dissonance on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 12:24am.

The Courtney Stodden women of the world will be Queens in a world (instead of tragic skanks) in a scenario like this:

http://news.discovery.com/human/population-bachelor-nations-11026.html

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I'm not worried. Let's say the rate is 106 males to 100 females. About 10% of those males will be gay. Maybe the reason more males are being born than females is precisely for that reason. Nature somehow knows and is trying to even the playing field. Now if 75% of the population was male, THEN I would be worried!

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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK

Submitted by shandi on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 5:57am.

It doesn't take much to see that these two are both extremely insecure. Therefore they need constant validation. At the pumpkin patch, she needed validation that she is sexy (I don't think so) and you could tell Doug needed to prove to people that he is getting sex by the disgusting poses they were doing. We get it. You are married and you have sex. We all do. Big deal.

Something about Doug has ALWAYS struck me as pervy and I am wondering if he EVER had sex before this girl came along.

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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK

Submitted by Few Words on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 5:36am.

gonna dedicated "stand by your man" to his kuntry ho & her pimp

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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.

Submitted by superkt on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 5:33am.

Definitely agree that she appears to be on something. The way her mouth tries to move as she talks just seems...off, like she's talking out of the side of it. It saddens me to think she may turn out as another Anna Nicole, and all at her parents approval.

Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 5:26am.

OMG, a man looked at your boobs and wants to stick his dick in you? You must be the most beautiful, special girl in the whole universe.

She doesn't have to worry about that, since her husband doesn't care much for stinkfish. Apparently.

Submitted by Helena on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 5:25am.

I can't bring myself to watch this; however, if anyone cares to summarize, I'll read it.

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Devil's advocate.

Submitted by Beyotch Puhlease on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 5:04am.

I fear these two maroons are the Dorothy Stratten and Paul Snider of our era. They need to keep a couple of body bags stored in their garage at all times because that's where both of them will most likely end up.

Submitted by RichBitch on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 5:03am.

I really hope they were asked to leave by Snobby Saleswoman #2 from Pretty Woman!

Submitted by rukiddingme on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 4:56am.

She is either drunk or high or both. It certainly seems like she's on something. What would have been halarious is if the dad they mentioned talking to his little daughter would have said something like, "oh look honey, the pumpkin patch hired a whore this year." These two are beyond ridiculous and I can't believe I watched that mess.

www.petfinder.com - enter your zip code to find adoptable pets in your area.

www.animalrescuesite.com - click everyday to help feed animals in shelters.

Submitted by letinstar on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 4:31am.

i'm putting myself in the timeout corner for pressing play and watching this entire mess...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr

Submitted by anastasia beave... on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 3:18am.

Two words- NO EDUCATION!

Ignorance breeds ignorance and the world keeps on spinning....Can you imagine a conversation in 15 years with this cretin? It will surely be on the exact same level.

Paris is for stoners.

Submitted by Jimmy Bocca on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 3:08am.

Submitted by little_rascal on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 9:14pm.
He acts and talks like a gay man, he's just too effeminate. Something very creepy pervy about him.
And she's high on some pill cocktail.

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Oh yea he's soooooo creepy and pervy he MUST be a gay man. GTFOH dumbass.

Submitted by its like_ MJ_like on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 2:14am.

I watched it again.. I must hate myself.
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She was also a 'raging nymphomaniac.'"

Submitted by kndall44 on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 2:12am.

Exactly what I thought, OD via Adderal.
Funny the "Dr." didn't bring up her spazziness...

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"She's not on meth, but I think she's on some kind of upper. I want to say dexedrine, but that's unlikely. I'm going to go with Adderal."

Submitted by its like_ MJ_like on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 2:03am.

My eyes!!! (and ears for that matter)

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She was also a 'raging nymphomaniac.'"

Submitted by Statler and Waldorf on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 12:48am.

I'm going to put aside my thoughts on this ridiculous pair because everyone else has said it better and just take a crack at a sincere observation (crack pun is not intended):

What if the girl/woman/iguana is suffering from anxiety? As someone who has had it for a lifetime, I do tend to get fidgety when I'm in an uncomfortable situation and trying to remain calm.

That's all I've got and I have a feeling I'm wrong, because an anxiety-prone individual wouldn't be keen on making a buffoon out of themselves like this.

Submitted by Juniperjump on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 12:29am.

Not Watching That.

Submitted by jalynne on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 12:06am.

Did her husband hire Conrad Murray as her doctor? Homegirl sounds like she's on a permanent trip drip.

Submitted by christine the hoff on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 11:48pm.

God, I love how she wasn't kicked out because she's a gross, nasty whore, she was kicked out because all the "moms" were jealous of her.
Yeah right, Courtney. All the moms wish they were you, married to a gross man thirty plus years older and nasty. sure.

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But this IS my alt!

Submitted by crankenstein on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 11:27pm.

ummm doug's gay?

Submitted by sonne on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 11:23pm.

Dr. Drew is now officially a media whore. Ok, we already knew that. Or is he just getting his tentacles around her for a future turn on his rehab show? Ugh, they're all disgusting.

I almost feel sorry for her. The dude is just gross.

Submitted by Cognitive Dissonance on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 11:15pm.

How dystopian.

Something along the lines of "The handmaid's tale"?

Well, that truly is nightmarish.

Got to sign off and bite my pillow.

Happy (or scary) Halloween.

Submitted by Migraineuse on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 11:06pm.

Submitted by Cognitive Dissonance on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 12:24am.

Interesting theory. I think it won't happen.

More likely they'll start up breeding centers like the Nazis had, and force women to churn out babies. Instead of relying on the less direct methods that are in favor today, like "choices" driven by social pressure and economic inequality.

P.S.

I see a burgeoning market in China and India for tranny hookers. Who says all those lonely dudes need WOMEN to take their sexual frustration out on?

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"I bet Michael Lohan's sperm comes out of his peen yelling screaming and pissed off at the world, all the sperms are getting into fights with each other about who gets to swim where and shit." -- Whamo

Submitted by Cognitive Dissonance on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 10:54pm.

The Courtney Stodden women of the world will be Queens in a world (instead of tragic skanks) in a scenario like this:

http://news.discovery.com/human/population-bachelor-nations-11026.html

I figured everyone needed a good nightmare story before Halloween (only this could and probably will happen).

Submitted by Migraineuse on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 10:37pm.

Submitted by LaChaylo on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 11:35pm.

Ultimately, I think the joke will be on her.

But there'll be another girl who gets public attention for being a hot mess. There is always another, and another, and another. Like they're coming off an assembly line somewhere.

I don't think all these women come down with a spontaneous case of stupid.

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Submitted by chocopuffs on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 10:10pm.

Submitted by LaChaylo on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 11:33pm.

Holy shit, this made me laugh: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHzyh6BFM5M

I feel terrible, but holy shit.
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lmfao
everybody is asleep and I'm laughing so loud is not even funny .
thanks for the link

Submitted by chocopuffs on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 10:06pm.

Submitted by Migraineuse on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 10:38pm.

P.S.
"she's Histrionic as all hell".
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but don't forget Histrionic is a form of art!!!

lmao

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"A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left."
— Marilyn Monroe

Submitted by LaChaylo on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 10:05pm.

@ Migraineuse

It's disturbing, I agree. I wish people would ignore them. I feel a little sorry for her if she says she's the age - which I still have my doubts about. But if she's not, the joke's on us.

Submitted by LaChaylo on Wed, 10/26/2011 - 10:03pm.

Holy shit, this made me laugh: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHzyh6BFM5M

I feel terrible, but holy shit.