Food Poisoning + A Slippery Shower = THIS
Do not let the state of Steven Tyler's bruised, battered and busted face fool you. There is not a patch of dirt under the wagon with his face print on it. Steven told Matt Lauer on Today this morning that booze nor drugs is to blame for why he looks like one of the Cyrus aunties after fighting Noah for the last jug of XXX at a possum roast.
Aerosmith had to postpone a show in Paraguay by one day, because bitch went boom in the shower. Steven was taken to a nearby hospital where doctors stitched up the cuts on his forehead and dentists replaced the two toofs that knocked out of his mouth when he hit the shower floor.
The Ruth Bader Ginsburg of rock said he that totally understands if bitches think his fall was due to him being a sloppy messy drunk since all of his past falls happened due to him being a sloppy messy drunk. But this time, food poisoning led to his b-hole playing "Shit This Way" on a loop, which led to dehydration, which led to weakness, which led to his face eating shower floor. Steven went on to say that he's 100% sober and "we flew last night from Paraguay after that incident and we're in Argentina for two hours. And anyone who knows anyone who uses substances wouldn't be up at this hour having a talk with Matt Lauer and the rest of America."
Steven's unfortunate accident can be best explained through my favorite song: "When you think your friends are joking but your pants are brown and soaking: Diarrhea, diarrhea! When your chillin’ with your daughter and you feel the poopoo water: Diarrhea, diarrhea! When you ski the Alps of France and your cocoa’s in your pants: Diarrhea, diarrhea! When you're soaping up your pits and your anus starts to spit: Diarrhea, diarrhea!"
If Hugh Hefner can look at that picture above and seriously say, "I would like to this offer this beautiful woman $1 million to pose naked in my magazine," then I'm totally okay with the whole "Lindsay Lohan in Playboy" thing.
he looks like shiloh jolie pit
Stop lyin Steven..
If i were him I would sue Heroin.
♪♪Dude looks like a Lo-han♪♪
HB to Scott Weiland
This tragicomedy face is totally my Jack O' Lantern for this year.
The missing tooth makes him look much younger. He should adopt this look.
Holy shit! That face is what nightmares are made of.
"When you're shifting into gear and you feel something smear...DIARRHEA! DIARRHEA!"
I believe the story. Grandma's are always falling in the tub. However it happened, I have to admit....He does look better.
My husband cracked (and had to replace) his two front teeth when he slipped on our icy driveway. (His hands were in his pockets, so his mouth broke the fall.) He actually had asphalt skids on his teef.
I believe Steven. And the only reason he sold out is because they had a horrible record deal in the early days of Aerosmith, and then that cheating wife of his got half his money. BTW, Steven initially fell off the wagon when Teresa left him for the contractor that was remodeling their house.
C'mere, darlin'! I need some nails pulled from these here wood boards!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
ugh. I feel for tyler. that happened to me. apparently a cycle of alcohol consumption followed by epic amounts of coffee leads to dehydration. I collapsed in the shower too and now have a snaggle tooth. this was just a few years after having my 8k in braces removed. dammit.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 12:49pm.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 12:44pm.
I belive him. After eating week old tuna helper I got it and ended up rolling down a flight of stairs after seeing spots (just like the old timey cartoons) and getting dizzy. And yes I shit myself too. :(
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eating bad tuna from a box lunch at the Y makes me dizzy, also....
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ROTFLMAO! I almost slid off my chair here, people!!!!
When you start getting into peepaw age, it doesn't take much to face plant into random shit. Plus his past boozy/cokey times doesn't help.
Nope. Bitch picked up some rough trade and that face was the result!
"Shiloh. I-am-your-father.."
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Fair is foul and foul is fair..
That picture makes my face hurt just looking at it. knocking front teeth is one out of my worst fears...oooowwwwwwww. hope they gave him some good shit while fixing him up.
When you're sitting in a bush and you feel something squish: diarhea, diarhea.
Please, stop lying dude looks like a lady (hurr hurr,) that was a well administered BEATDOWN.
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Eazy E's own prescription for "nourishing the inner aspect", Nutz On Ya Chin.
LOL Jack!
Submitted by suckandfuck on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 11:54am.
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When you're sliding into home and your pants are full of foam...
You can tell
By the smell
Steven Tyler
isn't well
When his colon comes spraying along.
You can tell
By the stress
That His ass
is one big mess
When his colon comes spraying along.
We're the germs who cause this feces factory
Shout your orders loud and clear
We've got small turds, medium, and large
And ones as big as a barge
When his colon comes spraying along.
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Vanity is the price of fame.
When you're sliding in to home and your pants are full of foam DI-REER
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"I wonder if Viola adopted a white baby because no one seems to want them anymore. *LOL* ~ stefystef, 10/19/2011
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 12:44pm.
I belive him. After eating week old tuna helper I got it and ended up rolling down a flight of stairs after seeing spots (just like the old timey cartoons) and getting dizzy. And yes I shit myself too. :(
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eating bad tuna from a box lunch at the Y makes me dizzy, also....
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"I wonder if Viola adopted a white baby because no one seems to want them anymore. *LOL* ~ stefystef, 10/19/2011
Submitted by Albatross on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 12:33pm.
Some people think it's funny, but it's really brown and runny - diarrhea, diarrhea!
Go to the man with the plunger in his hand - diarrhea, diarrhea!
No pain, on strain, just sit and let it drain - diarrhea, diarrhea!
I could do this all day...
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Please do! I'm enjoying it!
I belive him. After eating week old tuna helper I got it and ended up rolling down a flight of stairs after seeing spots (just like the old timey cartoons) and getting dizzy. And yes I shit myself too. :(
Damn, peepaw!
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The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 12:22pm.
this fuck fatal 500 BS is killing me too...can't...take...much...more...captain....
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Aye, Lieutenant Whamston! I think that the Internal Server needs more Dilithium crystals!
You know, the last time Tallarico-Rex fell-down-went boom, he was wasted. I listened to the phone interview with Lauer, and I think he was being a bit cagey with his replies.
In fact he sounded kind of wasted on the call. I can barely imagine a young person being THAT sick, falling and fucking his face up, and only missing one show.
And depending on what drug a person is taking, he or she can be up at any hour. He had to ask what country they were in during the interview. When Lauer brought up the drugs thing, Steven *cough, Idol SELL-OUT, cough* said they weren't to balme for the accident. He didn't say he was sober.
Something in the leche esta soucio.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
MK FIX YOUR FUCKING SHIT!
I want to slack off today damnit.
Submitted by Mama Bear on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 12:11pm.
GOOOOOOOIIIINNNNGGGG DOWN!!!!!
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LOL Love in a walk-in shower♪
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"I wonder if Viola adopted a white baby because no one seems to want them anymore. *LOL* ~ stefystef, 10/19/2011
Food poisoning. Yeah right! *wink*
Some people think it's funny, but it's really brown and runny - diarrhea, diarrhea!
Go to the man with the plunger in his hand - diarrhea, diarrhea!
No pain, on strain, just sit and let it drain - diarrhea, diarrhea!
I could do this all day...
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"I prefer my pieces the same way I prefer my Slim Jims, long, lean and mute" --the incomparable MK
*throws whamo a life preserver*
M.E. Yes! Imma do a halloween avie too. brb.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
When you're sliding into first and you feel somethin' burst... DIARRHEA! *blows raspberries* DIARRHEA *blows raspberries*
Damn the server from HELL. This is BULLSHIT. I actually have to do WORK now???? youve gotta be kidding me!
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I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
If I had a case of the blowout shits, did a pepaw dance in the shower and broke my face, I would NOT go on television and talk to Matt Lauer about it the next day, complete with a close up of my hobo face.
ERROR INTERNAL SERVER ERROR 500
FOK U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The first (terrible) thing I thought when I saw that photo was Hedda Nussbaum.
I don't think he was lying, necessarily. When you get old, your body fails you.
Food poisoning is a BITCH. You got it coming out of both ends.
I can see passing out from dehydration.
And yes, when you're puking and shitting your brains out for 24-48 hours, all you want to do is shower after!!!
Fell in the shower? Must have been a BIG shower. He looks like he fell 50 feet.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 12:22pm.
this fuck fatal 500 BS is killing me too...can't...take...much...more...captain...
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Thought it was just my computer...
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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
this fuck fatal 500 BS is killing me too...can't...take...much...more...captain....
Hahahaaa SUCKY!
It doesn't matter how old you are, once you have Rock and Roll in the system you can be 80 and you'll still feel like a kid when you're up on the stage! WORD!
Here's to the Toys in your Attic Steven.
*sceams and give the office the devils horns*
Having ended up in the ER twice in my life with food poisoning, I can tell you that it most definitely can make you that sick that you pass out. You become severely dehydrated very quickly. It ain't pretty. I believe him.
www.petfinder.com - enter your zip code to find adoptable pets in your area.
www.animalrescuesite.com - click everyday to help feed animals in shelters.
Serious substance user and someone who's suffered food poisoning that's made me faint. Uh, ST: your argument sucks. If you had food poisoning you'd be in bed; if you had a handover, you'd be refueling w/ more drink and on the Today show to save face.
FTS 500 internal server error
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I can't deal with this commotion.
He seriously needs to retouch the dye-job!
The (dude looks like a) lady doth protest too much!
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"And people try to tell me that God wasn't high on the good shit when he made this place" -by angel_i
My abuela has had that same haircut and hair color scheme for over 30 yrs. She wears it better and she looks younger than Steven even though she isn't.
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Put on your lip gloss, plump your chichis and let's get back to the main event.
~ Michael K
GOOOOOOOIIIINNNNGGGG DOWN!!!!!