Six Mix-A-Lot Just Changed His Mind
WARNING: Reading this story might make your butt pores secrete real sad tears every time you step into an AutoZone or Home Depot. You've been warned. This 30-year-old trans beauty with an ass that wants to quit itself was put into handcuffs in Miami Beach, FL after she allegedly pretended to be a doctor and injected some Goodyear shit into the butt cheeks of some dumb ass hos. Specifically, some dumb ass hos who didn't barf up a red flag when their doctor strolled into the back alley clinic looking like her hongray hongray ass just ate Randy's Donut.
The Miami Herald says that one chick, who wanted an ass that looks like Kim Kardashian's ass after inhaling the whole asses of Serena Williams and JLo, thought that Oneal Ron Morris was a real board certified doctor when she paid her $700 for a series of ass injections. When the victim laid down on a table at somebody's townhouse in Miami Gardens, she had no idea that Oneal was stuffing her ass with a mixture of cement, mineral oil, Super Glue and Fix-A-Flat. For weeks, the victim walked around with an Extreme Home Makeover ass and didn't think anything was wrong until she started having serious health problems including pnumoenia-like symptoms and nasty infected welts on her nalgas. Basically, bitch found out the painful way what the aftermath of a Paris Hilton rim job is like. It took several doctors and several hospital visits to figure out that the junk in her trunk (from a trunk) was the reason why she almost ended up kissing death. The victim is recovering and after a year-long investigation the police finally arrested Oneal.
The police believe that Oneal is part of a huge underground network of scam artists that have been pumping the wrong stuff into unsuspecting asses for years.
WHERE DO I BEGIN?! How did the victim not know some shit was up when the clinic was actually a room in the garage of some townhouse in Miami Gardens? How did the victim not know some shit was up when Oneal introduced the medical team and she recognized them as the day workers who hang out in the Home Depot parking lot? How did the victim not know some shit was up when a home inspector walked in to sign off on the work? How did the victim not know some shit was up when there were tire tread marks on her poops? And on to Oneal. You really have to have a bad case of Body Dysmorphia Disorder when you plump up your ass so much that it takes two sets of scaffolding, a clamp and three foreman for you to push out a shit. Then you have to clean your ass crack down at the local carwash. When she lies down she probably looks like a human seesaw. Why did it come to this? And that icicle chin! WHY?!
I know, I know. The answer to every single one of my questions is: IT'S FLORIDA!
(Thanks to everybody who sent this in)