Open Post: Hosted By A Flour Disaster
YouTuber mtmuzic writes that "mommy was not feeling well and had to stay in the bathroom longer than usual during which my two boys, ages 1 and 3 took my new bag of flour out of the cupboard and destroyed my house. This is from ONE 5lb bag." Thank the Internet Gods that every time mommy gets the serious shits she comes out of the bathroom with a video camera in hand, because then this completely and not-at-all staged moment would've never been captured. Let's just assume that this mess is a viral for SuperNanny's new DVD gift set or Valium, because reacting to this disaster with a verbal stream of calm ohmygoshes is not a normal reaction.
The normal thing to do would be to get in your car, blast the Air Supply and drive drive drive until the rage in your being has been swept away by Russell Hitchcock's assuring voice. Then go back home, gently put your babies in a cardboard box, drive to your nearest Albertson's and sit out in the front while holding a sign that reads: "FREE BABIES! Background Check Required!" Of course you're going to do a background check. You're not a total monster UNLIKE THESE BABIES! I'm joking. They're not monsters. They're just babies and babies like ruining food, apparently.
Besides, it could've been worse. Watch this video and pretend that flour is actually a bunch of cocaine. Brings a tear to your nostril, right? Give this video to Lindsay Lohan immediately, because this will definitely keep her from having children ever.
And since these babies just love throwing around white powder, their mom needs to get them a job as Marilyn Manson's make-up artist.