Open Post: Hosted By A Flour Disaster
YouTuber mtmuzic writes that "mommy was not feeling well and had to stay in the bathroom longer than usual during which my two boys, ages 1 and 3 took my new bag of flour out of the cupboard and destroyed my house. This is from ONE 5lb bag." Thank the Internet Gods that every time mommy gets the serious shits she comes out of the bathroom with a video camera in hand, because then this completely and not-at-all staged moment would've never been captured. Let's just assume that this mess is a viral for SuperNanny's new DVD gift set or Valium, because reacting to this disaster with a verbal stream of calm ohmygoshes is not a normal reaction.
The normal thing to do would be to get in your car, blast the Air Supply and drive drive drive until the rage in your being has been swept away by Russell Hitchcock's assuring voice. Then go back home, gently put your babies in a cardboard box, drive to your nearest Albertson's and sit out in the front while holding a sign that reads: "FREE BABIES! Background Check Required!" Of course you're going to do a background check. You're not a total monster UNLIKE THESE BABIES! I'm joking. They're not monsters. They're just babies and babies like ruining food, apparently.
Besides, it could've been worse. Watch this video and pretend that flour is actually a bunch of cocaine. Brings a tear to your nostril, right? Give this video to Lindsay Lohan immediately, because this will definitely keep her from having children ever.
And since these babies just love throwing around white powder, their mom needs to get them a job as Marilyn Manson's make-up artist.
via Videogum
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Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Fri, 01/20/2012 - 1:51pm
Awww, I'm sorry honey...
but lmao at you posting in the 11/21 open post...
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"The English are horrible and Oprah is a moron." 01/10/12 the refined Brit, clairey claire
I HATE EVERYBODY.
That is all.
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
Fake and gay. OH and nice Walmart lamps, bitch.
Oh yeah, I always took my kids into the bathroom with me anyway at that age, because 1 I didn't trust them and 2. AS IF I would get to actually go to the bathroom by myself.
Actually just for that fact I'm going to call BS, what the hell mother EVER gets to crap alone :D
I found out on the news at noon(working from the home office today), this chick lives like 2 miles from my parents. I couldn't hear the name they gave, so I don't know if I know or heard of this chick.
If kids of mine ever did this, I would use the flour to bake them in a pie.
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Devil's advocate.
So if the flour is on the backs of the couches, how is it that there are no areas on the cushions where their feet would be? STAGED!!!!
My local morning news covered this oh so cute YouTube. Wonder if this phony mom will show up anywhere. I want to see her.
I call BULLSHIT!
Flour is generally kept in upper cabinets where only adults have reaching access.
Maybe a chair was used, but the sound of it scraping across the floor should have alerted "mom" that something was up!
My overwhelming question: If she knew these crumb grabbers had tendencies to pull shit like this(which I'm sure she did), why didn't she either bring them into the bathroom with her OR CLOSE THE HUGE FUCKING BABY GATE THAT SHUTS THE LIVING ROOM OFF FROM THE HALLWAY!
NITWIT!!!
I would say for sure it was staged, but I've had my kids do some pretty horrible things.
Let me tell my horror story...
My oldest son was about the age of the older one in this video and was in the bathroom pooping.
I'm sitting on the couch in the living room and here comes my kid covered, totally covered with crap, in his hair on his clothes and tracking little crappy footprints across my beige carpet.
I plucked him up gingerly and took him out to the back yard to scrub him down.
Then I went to look at the bathroom, Then I was in shock, all I could do was just stare.
It was every where EVERYWHERE.
It was the consistency of thick oatmeal.
There was a pile of it on the floor right in front of the door, so when I opened the door the bottom dragged through it. It was smeared all over the door, the door knob, the bottom of the door.
Then the toilet, on the seat on the outside of the bowl on the lid.
The tub, It was in the tub and on the side of the tub, with a little spiderman figure covered in poop and sitting in a pile of it.
On the counter and the floor.
The sink.. was all over the handles, the sink was full of water and a little bar of crappy soap was floating in it.
I remember I just stood there for the longest time, not even knowing where to begin.
It took me hours to clean and it was funny when I was finished and came out, my kid went in and looked and came out and said wow mom your a hero.
As far as people doubting the calm reaction, when they are little like that thats pretty much what you have to do. The only thing freaking out and screaming at them would do is scare them. I would have said to them however that it was a very bad thing to do and it makes mommy very sad and unhappy, I think her reaction would lead to them thinking that she thought it was ok.
Now he is 16 and I get to tell his friends the story.
It took about 12 years but I got my revenge!
When the little farts can do a lot of damage is if they wake up before you do, I always had my kitchen safety gated though and had those child door knob locks on the bathroom and front and back door
LOL at MK's write up and "serious shits" because you would have to believe she was in the can for hours for that to have happened. You could give toddlers an open bag of flour and beg them to make a mess and pretty much you'd have a pile of spilled flour in the center of the room.
Ha! Love the ref to Air Supply, MK. They used to rehearse in a flat a coupla doors down from me, in Sydney. Of course, I was a babe in arms.
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Her pants are COVERED in flour around 1:43. How did that happen while walking down the hallway? Also, why was she using a video camera after she left the bathroom?? It concerns me when I see someone use their children to get attention for themselves. It makes me wonder what else she'd be willing to do.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOKd_et0A4o
Cool Water gets my vote, btw
Night ya'll
*big hug to Miks*
FAKE.ASS.SHIT.
@Deep Throat
If you have too much time on your hands this site offers numerous other ways for you to put your throat or any other over-extended orifice to good use.
http://www.x-raytechnicianschools.org/the-25-weirdest-things-eaten-by-a-...
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*in a deep, manly voice*
"Like sands through the hourglass... so are the days of our lives."
only mens cologne i like is fresh cannabis santal
but my husband can do that soap and water no deodorant shit too. not me. i have to switch between three diff brands because my body gets too used to them. i have even tried chlorophyll for that shit, stopped smoking weed (that can make your body odor rank), all that shit. just have to switch out my deodorants. and no secret, ever. that stuff is way too weak. ill end up with alzheimers or breast cancer but fuck if i'll walk around smelling like b.o.
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A baby's first words should not be: "DEATH DON'T TAKE ME NOW!!!" - MK
Mooooo!
So close, Bjork, thisclose to the truth...
Dikke pakkerd voor Bjork You!
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*in a deep, manly voice*
"Like sands through the hourglass... so are the days of our lives."
Night all! Catcha tomorrow!
What's good family?
Lol Becky!
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
My hubby ,for some weird and bizarre reason, never ever smells bad and doesn't wear deodorant at all. All he does is wash his pits with some antibacterial soap. That's all. I just wonder if it's a genetic thing or what? Or a freak of nature.
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Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 06/21/2011 - 6:49pm.
Women make me sick. There I said it.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 06/21/2011 - 6:53pm.
Have you tried them cooked?
@Wowl
I've got the fanciest (and possibly gayest) nebula in the cosmos!
...
...
Those pink sperm hats totally added a touch of class to my avie!
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
Later La Chaylo! Happy Thanksgiving!
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
Catcha soon, LaChaylo!
Becky, they're bad ass!
Hiya, Bjorkie!!
G'night, y'all. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone since I may be on sporadically for a few days.
♥♥♥♥♥
Hey Bjorkie! HB to your namesake! :)
@LaChaylo
The lovely Sandbitch kindly made these avies for us. She made a bunch of them one night for everyone who was hanging aroung the OP at the time.
Hi All!
Becky & Dog -
I would love the hot pink sperm hat for my Steven. I never knew he was missing something from his beauty until now.
That video is fake. I couldn't see more than 1minute but her reaction alone, is enough for me to know that it was staged.
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
Submitted by mike on Mon, 11/21/2011 - 9:45pm.
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Mon, 11/21/2011 - 9:41pm.
Submitted by mike on Mon, 11/21/2011 - 9:39pm.
But are you "multitasking"? That's the key.
Not the fun kind, but yes.
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Millions are crying. The devil dances tonight...
Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
mike,
I refuse to believe you.
liar, liar pants on ... flour.
fuckin dumb douche. mega staged.
mike's right. in fact, i find it offensive when the other person on the phone says "are you in the bathroom?".
i don't care what they heard. they need to let it go. my sister wil yap for hours. wtf.
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWmetGC6tyk&feature=related
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Mon, 11/21/2011 - 9:41pm.
Submitted by mike on Mon, 11/21/2011 - 9:39pm.
But are you "multitasking"? That's the key.
Not the fun kind, but yes.
Submitted by mike on Mon, 11/21/2011 - 9:39pm.
But are you "multitasking"? That's the key.
The spirit of fuck you should never be underestimated. ~hotpocket 10/23/11
lol, I hate to tell you all this, but most guys (including myself) have no compunction about using a cell phone in a restroom, public or private
I'm a huge fan of soap and water. I don't like cologne on men. I don't even like the smell of my husband's shampoo. Steppy started in with the teenage stink spray last year, and it's just awful, that oily, musky stank that the industry thinks is mandatory for men's stuff. What the hell is it, anyway? I'm convinced it's derived from bison testicles or something. Just gross.
The spirit of fuck you should never be underestimated. ~hotpocket 10/23/11
Submitted by madam s. on Mon, 11/21/2011 - 9:27pm.
I read ya'lls office stories once in a while, and I can never believe my eyeballs. Uncle BF... women bringing their phones into the bathroom?! Ahhahaha... oh my. I wouldn't even bring my phone into the bathroom at HOME, because A) Why? and B) Ew.
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This chick last week is in the stall next to me. STRAINING. I mean, i can hear you are taking a shit, what makes you think the person you are talking to on the phone can`t?? Plus, someone flushes every 5 seconds. If i was on the receiving end of that phonecall, i would be like: Bitch , call me back once you pinched your loaf, you nasty fucking pig.
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Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Submitted by mike on Mon, 11/21/2011 - 9:26pm.
Happy B-day, btw.
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Still no kiss? *disappointed*
I read ya'lls office stories once in a while, and I can never believe my eyeballs. Uncle BF... women bringing their phones into the bathroom?! Ahhahaha... oh my. I wouldn't even bring my phone into the bathroom at HOME, because A) Why? and B) Ew.
I hate it when people (of either sex) drown themselves in the stinky stuff. A discreet dab is plenty. Just enough to get a whiff of when you get up close, but not so much as to leave a trail that hangs in the air for ten minutes after they leave the room.
Submitted by becky n sydney on Mon, 11/21/2011 - 9:21pm.
Submitted by mike on Mon, 11/21/2011 - 9:14pm.
A Lady Gaga Thanksgiving special on ABC? WTF?
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Try to keep you dinner down after watching that!!
The promo was all I'll be seeing.
Happy B-day, btw.
Derp. DP
For myself i really like Gucci`s "Guilty" right now. I also like My little Pony Parkers "Covet"
And "Roma" By Laura Biagiotti.
Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11