Happy Black And Blue Friday!
Above is a video taken at one of Hell's franchises on earth (aka Walmart) of Rollback-hungry sluts going crazy over a discounted Xbox 360. You'd think this Xbox has a Fleshlight attachment that vibrates whenever you shoot a bitch up in Call of Duty 3 (let's call it the XXXbox Special), but nope. This is just America and we'd eat a baby's face off to get 10% off of an Xbox. But some crazed Black Friday soldier already had a plan ready when she stepped into the Walmart in Porter Ranch, CA early this morning to fight over that Xbox. The L.A. Times says that the crazy bitch, who had her two kids with her, started pepper spraying at all the other shoppers so they'd scatter for breathable air while she went for the Xbox. Around 20 people including chirruns got sprayed and one of them had to go to the hospital. The LAPD says the pepper-spraying crazy is currently on the loose and they're looking at surveillance video to try to find her.
Okay, I just have to laugh at this mess, because the image of some insane Black Friday terrorist attacking her rivals with pepper spray should replace all George Washington as the new face of the $1 bill. That's America! And I'm sure she just won a new job as the head of security at UC Davis.
Meanwhile, at another Walmart, a tornado of lunacy erupted over $2 waffle makers that most of those crazies will use twice. You know, I was about to say this clip is about as disgustingly gross as watching a bunch of maggots slithering on a piece of shit in fast motion, but then my eyes were blessed by the butt crack beauty in the blue t-shirt. Now, THAT should be the new face of the $1 bill.
All in all, it's been a pretty tame Black Eye Friday so far. As far as I know, nobody's death certificate reads "Death by Black Friday Walmart Tramping" yet, but the day is still young. I'm sure the Black Friday-ers are recharging their crazy at Cinnabon and will be ready to go for round two soon. USA! USA!
via Buzzfeed
Did all my shopping on line and founds some good deals. And to my family and family If you get me a $2 water maker for Christmas I will piss in your egg nog...(just give me the 2 bucks or get me a scratch lottery ticket)
"When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better." ~Mae West
Submitted by mikidais on Sun, 11/27/2011 - 1:51pm.
The last I read (this morning) was that they weren't going to charge her yet because they didn't have all the facts. They have to make sure she wasn't doing in self defense. As if.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Dog, I'm glad I made you laugh!
My husband said the stupid bitch turned herself in already. She obviously doesn't have as much money as Blohan so hopefully her ass will be sitting in LA County jail for a while.
Submitted by mikidais on Sun, 11/27/2011 - 1:06pm.
That's my local Walmart. How fucking embarrassing.
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Not sure why but your post cracked me the hell up. Thanks!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
That's my local Walmart. How fucking embarrassing.
and these are the people voting for our presidents...no wonder this country is a hot mess
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
Now you have criminals with guns preying on shoppers at the parking lot. Guy got killed over presents. Its like those deadly crocs who prey on those at the watering hole.
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
No fucking way! I hate shopping and I hate crowds.
And what about the store in New York that wasn't planning to open until 10:00am on Friday but got broken into at 1:00am and completely looted by people who mistakenly thought the store was opening at midnight? Rather than leave and come back at 10 they decided to smash the doors and windows and take what they wanted.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
I swear to god I've seen this same tableau before on the National Geographic channel...except it was hyenas fighting over a zebra carcass.
Amen, Toxicbitch. Since when is it "high and mighty" to think about the effects your shopping habits have on everyone else? I agree that Target is right up there with "what is wrong with America" since every single one of their products is made in China, but I think Walmart gets singled out b/c they are EVERYWHERE. Who the hell needs 5 Walmarts within 20 miles?! Not only that but they have a shit tonne of lawsuits against them...everything from sexual harassment to workers being forced to work off the clock. I'm sure all retail companies have issues like that, but Walmart is particularly notorious for their unscrupulous business practices.
No-one needs this CRAP that these people are fighting over. It's disgusting. Pay a few bucks more and help some mom and pop store that Walmart is putting out of business if you absolutely *must* have 5 wafflemakers.
Oh, and workers do NOT choose whether or not they work Black Friday. That's bullshit. When you work retail, you work when they tell you to work. I always ended up working the day after Xmas...you know, when everyone bring BACK all the crap these people are fighting over. That was fun, too. Except not really.
I've never used/owned a waffle maker and my life doesn't seem to be lacking in any way because of it.
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Fri, 11/25/2011 - 9:18pm.
hell, the last time i went shopping to just a normal grocery store excursion, i wanted to mace the people that move WWAAYY too slowly down the isle, and/or leave their cart in the middle of the isle while pricing which package of pasta is the cheapest... but, damn, i never actually did it!... *dreams of a world that i could get away with it*
The lazy fucks who leave their cart in the middle of the isle give you a dirty look when you try to move their cart like they own the fucking place.
You gotta laugh at the fat fuck with her crack hanging out that grabbed like 6 waffle makers like her fat ass needs anymore. I do most of my shopping online or late at night to avoid crazy hyenas like this that get sucked into the drama and would risk getting badly hurt or killed for some cheap stupid crap that most likely will break when looked at cross- eyed.
" Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer"..William S. Burroughs
never do black friday. stands for everything thats wrong with america. imo . had to fun into the wal on thanksgiving for some paint ( we are remodeling and luckily didnt have to suffer thru thanksgiving this year) and it was like the calm before the storm.
I was talking recently to a guy who just completed the six month training at the RCMP academy. Part of that training is being sprayed in the face with pepper spray.
He said it's excruciating and it took 4 days for him to see properly and for eyes to recover from the inflammation and swelling.
I can't laugh at some crazy bitch just randomly spraying other people and kids -- unless of course she got a blast of it, too. (Then I'd chuckle) My friend said that clouds of it just hang in the air, stick to your clothes etc
His tip if you do get sprayed: gently blow-dry your face and eyes with a blow-dryer (forget why that works, but apparently it does)
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What a pathetic bunch of fuckwits these people are. Depressing.
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"He's the angriest man you'll ever meet. He's like a man with a fork in a world of soup." Noel Gallagher on his brother Liam.
...and they all speak derp
Submitted by Cap6 The Asperger on Fri, 11/25/2011 - 7:54pm.
*reloads flamethrower* Tornado of Lunacy is right, Mk. Just saw these clips, and a few others sent by Black Fridayists friends (I know, I need to re-evaluate friends) about today's shenanigans. I.HATE.THESE.FK.DORKS.
So, in the spirit of today, I did the exact opposite. While half the nation is overloading carts without their Thorazine drips, I stayed home CLEARING OUT ABOUT 5 LARGE HEFTY BAGS OF UNNECESSARY SHIT. Plus, I have two bags of good shit to donate. FK OFF, crazy "Black Friday" whacks. That is all.
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...AND this is why I love my Cappy!
*curls up on sofa next to C6TA and nuzzles her neck*
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In case you're wondering, the second and third answers were "felch cream"and "taint butter." - MK 10/15/2011
Here is a good argument for hating Walmart:
http://www.tompaine.com/articles/2005/11/09/walmarts_tax_on_us.php
The truth is, there is no real capitalism in the U.S. We have companies considered "too big" to fail, so they get bailed out. State and local communities get into bidding wars to lure companies to locate in their areas. The big companies get incentives, while small businesses get fucked over.
Walmart gets a lot of attention, because Sam Walton's heirs are consistently ranked in the top 10 richest bazillionaires in the world, while we never hear anything about owners of other retailers because they aren't as individually wealthy.
"...the crazy bitch, who had her two kids with her, started pepper spraying at all the other shoppers so they'd scatter for breathable air while she went for the Xbox"
awesome.
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A baby's first words should not be: "DEATH DON'T TAKE ME NOW!!!" - MK
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Fri, 11/25/2011 - 4:00pm.
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Fri, 11/25/2011 - 3:53pm.
Submitted by Feral on Fri, 11/25/2011 - 3:13pm.
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Yep, just read about a stabbing that took place at a Sacramento Macy's in fact :(
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"He had an okay body. Not fat at all. And naturally toned abs. She could pour a shot of tequila down his belly and slurp it out of his navel without getting splashed in the face." - A Shore Thing, by the
People do this for bragging rights.
*in Roseanne Conner voice* "Oh yeah I got to Wal Mart at midnight and I was first in line and I pushed this bitch outta my way to get the first Xbox..." etc *licks powdered sugar from fingers and swills from Diet Pepsi Big Gulp*
This year I told my inlaws that I want a $20 limit on my gift exchanges with them. They are not to spend more than $20 on me and I'm not spending more than that on them. I don't have a job and Mr Hekki buys the meager presents and says theyre from us when everyone know damn well. And they spend way too much on me. The inequality gives me horrible guilts.
Fucking idiots. After I got home from a day long Thankgsgiving I attended, I curled up in bed and ordered on line at WalMart a tv set that was a Black Friday deal. This was at !0:30pm. Everything went through in about 5 minutes.Those ho's need to get a clue. Why wait for Cyber Monday? Shop fucking right now online...
http://www.cracked.com/article_19572_5-black-friday-myths-media-wants-yo...
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
I wouldn't shop on Black Friday.. but I agree with the posters who say that Target is really not a lot better than Wal_Mart in terms of their own products being made in Asia and all that. I shop both places and get what I need. I used to be anti Wal-Mart but have realized that my going to Target doesn't really make me any more sophisticated than a WalMart shopper. But they DO advertise themselves as giving 10% of their earnings to the community... but the area around any Target I've been to has always looked the same to me .. but maybe I need more education on that, hah. WalMarts are just more numerous than Target, haha. But... just in my OWN personal preference, I like the Target store better in terms of layout and all that. But I would have to drive about 25 minutes out of my way, if from home, to get to a Target, sadly. So, I'm not always doing myself any favors just by going there. So, Wal-Mart it is for what I need a lot of the time and I try to time my going there on less busy days or what not, haha.
Late returning to the party(soooo much football to watch)... so I just have to say that I would love to be a police officer at one of these Black Friday stampedes. I would so be asshole cop to people doing shit like pepper spraying or shoving. I would hog tie the bitch with the pepper spray and be all like "Bitch, the only holiday deal you can hope for will be from the prosecutor!"
What did I do for Black Friday? Went to a friend's, smoked a little weed, helped them with firewood and then ate dinner and watched Carl Sagan programs, lol. That is much more enlightening than WalMart specials.
Ugh at that nonsense. Christmas has just become so dirty feeling. I actually despise gift giving and this insane pressure to spend lots and lots of money. I stopped shopping a long time ago and now make donations in the name of friends and family. I either donate to St. Jude Children's Hospital (they send your loved ones an email saying a donation was made in their name) or take a name off the tree at the bank for children in foster care and donate in the name of a friend/family. I ask my friends/family to do the same for me, instead of buying me something I don't need. Who the f**k wants a $2 waffle maker. I'd rather have someone donate the $20 bucks they were going to spend on me to someone who really needs it.
hell, the last time i went shopping to just a normal grocery store excursion, i wanted to mace the people that move WWAAYY too slowly down the isle, and/or leave their cart in the middle of the isle while pricing which package of pasta is the cheapest... but, damn, i never actually did it!... *dreams of a world that i could get away with it*
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
I never done Black Friday. If I hate waiting 15 min on a line on Walmart, you could image my seething hatred if I were to spend 3 hours on a line to pay for crap.
I am loving my cyber shopping. Got me that $199 tv on Amazon, 50 dollar camera on Walmart.com and 1 dollar movies on bestbuy.com. All free shipping and done after I gobbled my turkey and in bed by 11 PM. All my shopping is DONE.
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
*reloads flamethrower* Tornado of Lunacy is right, Mk. Just saw these clips, and a few others sent by Black Fridayists friends (I know, I need to re-evaluate friends) about today's shenanigans. I.HATE.THESE.FK.DORKS.
So, in the spirit of today, I did the exact opposite. While half the nation is overloading carts without their Thorazine drips, I stayed home CLEARING OUT ABOUT 5 LARGE HEFTY BAGS OF UNNECESSARY SHIT. Plus, I have two bags of good shit to donate. FK OFF, crazy "Black Friday" whacks. That is all.
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"...To feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each others' minds
Just to see what we'd find
Look at shit through each others' eyes..."
-Eminem, "Beautiful" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgT1AidzRWM&ob=av2e
The second video reminds me of the scene in the Lion King when Mufasa died...
"LONG LIVE THE KING!"
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I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
There wasn't anything good on tv so I popped some popcorn and went to Wal-mart for some reality tv. I was very amused & highly entertained.
...and Rome burns.
You'd think they were offering a free education, or healthcare, or free housing, like they had in Libya.....
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The Americas - Occupied since 1492.
I've never understood this Black Friday foolery. Last year a girl that used to give me rides was talking about shopping on black friday and asked me what I was going to do...and I told her I was staying my ass home and in bed.lol! If you want to get run-over by a psycho stampede while trying to grab the VERY LAST crock-pot on sale for 50% off that you could always get at that same price some other time...that's all on you.
"I make myself sick, get on my own nerves. Immature, insecure grown up nerd."
-Fatlip (The Pharcyde)
Indeed EH, but no one is willing to report it (I know I wasn't)
It IS illegal, yet narc and you lose the job.
It's a no-win
My sister said, (and sorry if someone beat her to it), "They all need to lay off the waffles!"
"Disgusting," my 10 year old, observed. . .right after she saw the dumbo's butt crack.
Ugh, Walmart.
Submitted by Jintess on Fri, 11/25/2011 - 6:04pm.
2nd 3rd and 4th the retailers ripping off employees. Even better (sarcasm) is when they notice you worked over 40 hours in a week and want you to just put down 39, to have the rest "carried over" in the next paycheck. Illegal, but it happens more often than you think.
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Id be shocked if there was someone who worked in a box store who hadn't encountered this. All the managers are salaried so it's not like they give a fuck and I think most have a practice of hiring those who are vulnerable (HS dropouts, single moms, the elderly, etc..)who they can more easily take advantage of in this way...
b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
We live in a piss-shit world obsessed with piss-shit people who are only famous for being pissed/shit on.
Nobody even needs a waffle maker, because God gave us Eggos.
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2nd 3rd and 4th the retailers ripping off employees. Even better (sarcasm) is when they notice you worked over 40 hours in a week and want you to just put down 39, to have the rest "carried over" in the next paycheck. Illegal, but it happens more often than you think.
The economy sucks, so people do it. Finding a job is more rare than not.
Ugh, sorry, don't mean to be Debbie Downer. Here's an awesome song from around the world (not sure how many have heard about playing for change. It's an awesome concept.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Us-TVg40ExM
I worked at best buy once upon a time and I was scccured when black friday rolled around. It was utter and complete madness. But I was pretty stoked about that $20/hr paycheck when I was used to making $8hr.
b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
We live in a piss-shit world obsessed with piss-shit people who are only famous for being pissed/shit on.
I loved that episode of South Park.
Submitted by EvilShoe on Fri, 11/25/2011 - 4:45pm.
"Rant on.
I hate Walmart, not just because of the China made products but because of their unethical behavior. Sure, Target et al also have China made crap but at the end of the day Walmart is the ringleader of that parade. Our society doesn't want well-made products anymore, they want cheap disposable shit. If you go to Walmart and buy a set of measuring cups you are giddy its only a buck but those cups are filmsy, break etc and soon you need more then more again. Instead of people buying quality made items and saving up a little bit more cash they buy the cheap shit."
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"When I come up, I rush, I rush for you..."
Submitted by tonicbitch on Fri, 11/25/2011 - 4:22pm.
So if thinking so and refusing to participate in this darkended level of fuckery makes me high and mighty, hand me my fucking crown and sceptre.
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THIS
Imagine the poor souls working in big box stores who had to show up at the crack of dawn and deal with that snake pit of humanity, all for minimum wage.
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"This is what we call the floating world . . .” (Ryoi, c.1661)
" . . . the world needs to be shut down. I mean it this time. SHUT IT DOWN". (MK, c.2009)
The deals weren't even that good this year to justify this kind of madness. The most interesting thing I saw was a $199 42' TV down from its normal $250ish price, it's not worth all that craziness just to save 50 bucks, seriously. Bitches be crazy. If they were giving out 1 penny a month cell phone planes on $10 iPhones, I might have to fight somebody, but for $50 savings, Wal-Mart can kiss my ass!
b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
We live in a piss-shit world obsessed with piss-shit people who are only famous for being pissed/shit on.
I could see the craziness being justified if they were selling packs of smokes or jugs of Boone Farm wine for $2 but WAFFLE MAKERS? Not one of those bitches has ever made a waffle in their life and never will...
"When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better." ~Mae West