Monday, November 28th 2011
Open Post: Hosted By Teddy Bear
In today's lesson taught by the Internet, we learn that when you try to steal a cunty porcupine's corn on the cob he'll attack you with cuteness by sounding like an Ewok furiously masturbating to Smurf porn in the middle of a windstorm. Adorable. I like that thing so much better now that it's not living on top of Kate Gosselin's head anymore. And I'm no porcupine whisperer, but did I hear that ho say, "Back up, bitch"? Somebody give Teddy Bear his own show! Better yet, auto-tune this and release it as his first single. Bitch practically sounds like Brit Brit but with more natural vocal talent. Viva Teddy!
via SayOMG (Thanks to everybody who sent this in)
Hey Chapped:
Just seconding you on the seasonal blues. You got a lot of good advice so I can't add to that but - you aren't alone.
I meant to write a few weeks ago that there are a lot of non-latex gloves available because latex allergies are so common now, Even in hospitals (or rather, especially in hospitals) they have had to make non-latex options - good luck with that.
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The Americas - Occupied since 1492.
I was going to respond about the porcupine definitively saying "IT'S MY CORN" but then my eye caught this and...yes, i completely understand where you're coming from. i've suffered with SAD for years, and am approaching what i hope will be my first depression-free winter. i take a few vitamins that naturally lift mood--B6, D12 and fish oil particularly--and it's already been helping me immensely. i know exactly how you feel and it can get better...or at least more tolerable. i wish you the best!
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RE: Submitted by Chapped Ass on Tue, 11/29/2011 - 12:18am.
Anyone else get the blues this time of year? I don't even know why I do or where it stems from. Maybe it's just the lack of sunshine on my chapped ass.
I try to wear a contrived smile on my frownie spirit to keep everyone faux 'happy' but it is not a genuine smile from my heart but I don't want to let anyone down during this time of year. You know, the most wonderful time of the year. *eyeroll*
Sometimes I think everyone is faking it and we are all trying to cheer each other up with fakeness just to get through life which is kind of sad really because it doesn't work and it only makes us feel more isolated in our blue-ness.
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
Did he snap off at her with an "It's MY corn!" at 47 seconds in? :))
Submitted by The Wiz on Tue, 11/29/2011 - 12:41am.
Thank you! I am especially intrigued with the light therapy option. I hope it's not too expensive.
Have a great night, Wizzer. I'm off to slumber. :)
Submitted by Chapped Ass on Tue, 11/29/2011 - 12:18am.
Winter depression runs in my family. Look up SAD (Seasonal affective disorder). You're not a freak. It happens to a lot of people who live in climates without a lot of sun.
You can up your vitamin D intake and also use light therapy to help with the moody blues.
Been there. Done that. I treat myself now with 99.9 percent success but at first it is not easy and you can really hit some lows until you level out.
Good luck, C-A.
Anyone else get the blues this time of year? I don't even know why I do or where it stems from. Maybe it's just the lack of sunshine on my chapped ass.
I try to wear a contrived smile on my frownie spirit to keep everyone faux 'happy' but it is not a genuine smile from my heart but I don't want to let anyone down during this time of year. You know, the most wonderful time of the year. *eyeroll*
Sometimes I think everyone is faking it and we are all trying to cheer each other up with fakeness just to get through life which is kind of sad really because it doesn't work and it only makes us feel more isolated in our blue-ness.
eh. What do I know?
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
*sigh*
Sorry to be a downer.
*smiles fake for you all* :D
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Mon, 11/28/2011 - 10:37pm.
I am watching Hoarders and just got a case of the heeby jeebes!
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I SAW THAT SHIT
you cannot unsee what has been seen!
i can usually clear the room of my husband with a good hoarders episode but even i was starting to get the pukes watching that shit. what the fuck.
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A baby's first words should not be: "DEATH DON'T TAKE ME NOW!!!" - MK
Submitted by ditquoi on Mon, 11/28/2011 - 2:52pm.
anybody have any tricks for relieving a 2 year old's cough? apparently, you're not old enough for cough syrup until you're 4. speaking of which, is that because it has ingredients that a toddler's body can't handle? would I hurt him if I gave him 1/2 or 1/4 dose of children's cough syrup?
I am a bit late to respond but Eucalyptus oil in a humidifier works great when my little guy gets a cough. Run it overnight. Johnson also has a menthol/eucalyptus bubble bath for young ones and lastly they have baby vicks which you rub ob their feet. My boy just turned 19 months and that is what I use.
Submitted by little_rascal on Mon, 11/28/2011 - 9:36pm.
US states with Indian names (and translation):
...
Idaho - Sunrise, It Is Morning
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Did Idaho Get Its Name As A Result Of A Hoax?
Best part:
Even if Idaho did get its name from a hoax, Des Moines can lay claim to a funnier name origin. The Peoria indians told the first white settlers that the tribe living in that area (their rivals) was named the Moingoana, which became the root of Des Moines. But it turns out that Moingoana was really the Peoria word for "shitfaces".
I am watching Hoarders and just got a case of the heeby jeebes!
I agree Teddy. Tell that bitch to get her own corn on the cobb!
Submitted by little_rascal on Mon, 11/28/2011 - 9:36pm.
US states with Indian names (and translation):
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*++*+*+*++*+*+**+*+*+*+*+*+*+
We win!
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
Submitted by Sandbitch on Mon, 11/28/2011 - 9:18pm.
This is my claim to Melbourne fame:
ACDC Long Way To The Top (if you want a sausage roll) @1.33 thats me fanging the Falcon 351 past the tram (on the way to a job interview).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ius6FGsAgx0&feature=related
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*sits closer to world famous Sandbitch*
oops. wrong thread
Submitted by sushi on Mon, 11/28/2011 - 9:30pm.
Ha-ha. I bet even Ellen cringes over these two since she always goes for the hot-non-butch types.
US states with Indian names (and translation):
Alabama - Thicket Clearers
Alaska - Great Land
Arizona - Silver Slabs
Arkansas - Down Stream People
Connecticut - Upon The Long River
Dakota - Related People
Idaho - Sunrise, It Is Morning
Illinois - Men Or Great Men
Indiana - Land Of The Indians
Iowa - Drowsy People
Kansas - People Of The South Wind
Kentucky - Hunting Ground
Massachusetts - Great Hill
Michigan - Great Water
Minnesota - Sky Tinted Water
Mississippi - Father Of Water
Missouri - Long Canoe People
Nebraska - Flat Water
New Mexico - Aztec God Mexitili
Ohio - Beautiful Valley
Oklahoma - Land Of The Red Man
Oregon - Beautiful Water
Tennessee - From Chief Tannassie
Texas - Tejas Or Allies
Utah - Those Who Dwell High Up
Wisconsin - Where Waters Gather
Wyoming - Great Plain
Teddy Bears freak me out almost as much as clowns.
Hey to everybody, I survived a week-long visit from extended relatives!
Anything exciting going on?
Submitted by becky n sydney on Mon, 11/28/2011 - 8:56pm.
I used to live in the Dandenong Ranges which featured such towns as Sassafras, Kallista and Olinda.
---I lived in Lygon Street Carlton in the mid 70's. Y'know the housing commission high rise, next to Motor Registration Branch?? 10th floor.
This is my claim to Melbourne fame:
ACDC Long Way To The Top (if you want a sausage roll) @1.33 thats me fanging the Falcon 351 past the tram (on the way to a job interview).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ius6FGsAgx0&feature=related
I'm famouse y'all.
Lmao UBF, those mugs are amazing!
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
Walla Walla, Tehachapi, Wasco.
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
I like the sound of Jimcumbilly (NSW). I'm not sure why.
@becky n sydney
Humpybong, Queensland
Lovely name originating from when the British abandoned the area in favour of settling Brisbane, leaving behind empty huts or "humpies". Humpybong means "dead shelters" in Aboriginal.
---whoooooooot! Axshally, it means "dead huts".
The local primary school is called "Humpybong". Fortunately, the kiddies only know the aboriginal history. YET. Until they hit Humpybong Skate Park...
I used to live in the Dandenong Ranges which featured such towns as Sassafras, Kallista and Olinda.
Christmas present for every D-lister:
http://www.zazzle.com/santa_says_nothing_for_you_whore_mug-1685995311939...
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Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Beerburrum, home of Steve Irwin *sobs* fucking stingray.
@Sandbitch
You get an honorable mention:
http://travel.ninemsn.com.au/holidaytype/weird/655118/a-z-of-unusual-aus...
Fellow past residents of Humpybong: The Bee Gees and Mel Gibson :)
Some place names of Amerindian origin from my neck of the woods: Pamlico, Chocowinity, Mattamuskeet, Pungo, and others that aren't coming to mind.
Woolloongabba, Wonthaggi, Wagga Wagga, Coorparoo, Caboolture (home of Keith Urban), Mooloolaba, Bald Hills (home of Joe Shmoe).
Hey, Sandybitch lives in Humpybong!!
Gnite/Gmorng all ♥
Csg, Angel, Dog, Lucifer_Sammmmm, Brainfart, Eiles, Queenie (slut, where you at QBK?), DWM, Manimal, Sucky, Jacks, M.E., Dramaqueeen, Sweets, sANDBITCH, Evilshoe, evil cupcake, FUCK EVERYONE AND anybod I missed cause I'm on Sake as a jumpoff to spilled white while (ran out of reds, FML)
Everyone just take a sec and relate, even for a bit, for one night. Salute
*DBL edit damn mylife
_____________
"...To feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each others' minds
Just to see what we'd find
Look at shit through each others' eyes..."
-Eminem, "Beautiful" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgT1AidzRWM&ob=av2e
Submitted by becky n sydney on Mon, 11/28/2011 - 7:53pm.
Submitted by mike on Mon, 11/28/2011 - 7:41pm.
Submitted by becky n sydney on Mon, 11/28/2011 - 7:38pm.
Dumb question: Why does Australia have so many oddly named (to my eyes/ears) towns? Are the names derived from Aboriginal names?
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Yup - they're all Aboriginal words (not necessarily names). Personally I prefer them to the more common Brit references.
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Speaking of which, check out what happened in Wangaratta, Australia (This should cheer some ladies up)
http://www.dreamindemon.com/2011/11/25/woman-angry-about-drunken-breast-...
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
Submitted by salacious on Mon, 11/28/2011 - 7:49pm.
@ Mike, thanks as usual, always posting interesting stuff.
I don't mean to bring anybody down, but did anybody hear the story about some guy who ate his 4 year old kid's eyeball?
http://www.turnto23.com/east_county/19473681/detail.html
Opening sentence in the story:
"It was pretty bizarre," said neighbor Ramon
Rodriguez.
Ya think?
You cant be THAT curious SpottedDogRanch?
Dammit people! I looked in the December issue of Playboy & there is NO mention of Lohan being in the January 2012 issue. I wanna see how bad Lindsay really looks. Must be pretty awful if they wanted more clothes on her skanky body.
Submitted by salacious on Mon, 11/28/2011 - 7:49pm.
@ Mike, thanks as usual, always posting interesting stuff.
I don't mean to bring anybody down, but did anybody hear the story about some guy who ate his 4 year old kid's eyeball?
http://www.turnto23.com/east_county/19473681/detail.html
It happened in 2009;
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*vomits; curses the world with ancient gypsy curse while spilling my own blood with bowie knife* No, for serious, I'm motherfking nauseous. I don't even know what to think. I re-read that shit to make sure it wasn't a joke. Again, I goddamn fking hate people like this. WHERE THE FKING HELL ARE THE DAMN MFKING DAMN FOUR FUCKING HORSEMEN?? FKING WHERE?!?1!! Take us. Take us all you bitch punk "horsemen". Bring it. Bring the 10.5 pacific quake to shatter all plate tectonics. Let's do this. Fuck. Damn.
_____________
"...To feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each others' minds
Just to see what we'd find
Look at shit through each others' eyes..."
-Eminem, "Beautiful" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgT1AidzRWM&ob=av2e
Submitted by mike on Mon, 11/28/2011 - 7:53pm.
Submitted by salacious on Mon, 11/28/2011 - 7:49pm.
Actually, that story is how I discovered The Dreamin' Demon! Someone on here linked to the post about that story.
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Right! I remember that site, another one of your link contributions! I could only read one story and decided it was too much for me.
It's also mentioned in the The Walking Dead comics, that's how I heard about it.
Depressing shit, Mikey. Throw us a link to a happier site, won't you?
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
Submitted by becky n sydney on Mon, 11/28/2011 - 7:53pm.
I kinda figured. Thanks.
Submitted by salacious on Mon, 11/28/2011 - 7:49pm.
Actually, that story is how I discovered The Dreamin' Demon! Someone on here linked to the post about that story.
Submitted by mike on Mon, 11/28/2011 - 7:41pm.
Submitted by becky n sydney on Mon, 11/28/2011 - 7:38pm.
Dumb question: Why does Australia have so many oddly named (to my eyes/ears) towns? Are the names derived from Aboriginal names?
""""""""""""""""""""
Yup - they're all Aboriginal words (not necessarily names). Personally I prefer them to the more common Brit references.
@ Mike, thanks as usual, always posting interesting stuff.
I don't mean to bring anybody down, but did anybody hear the story about some guy who ate his 4 year old kid's eyeball?
http://www.turnto23.com/east_county/19473681/detail.html
It happened in 2009; I can't believe I only found out about it yesterday. You can't make this shit up.
* dies *
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
Pics, mike, or it didn`t happen. Plus I am sure i have seen heavier 3rd Graders around here.
Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Submitted by mike on Mon, 11/28/2011 - 7:38pm.
Did y'all hear about the 200lb 8yo?
http://www.suntimes.com/news/nation/9122484-418/200-pound-3rd-grader-tak...
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No pix? Presumably they didn't have a fisheye lens.
Submitted by becky n sydney on Mon, 11/28/2011 - 7:38pm.
Dumb question: Why does Australia have so many oddly named (to my eyes/ears) towns? Are the names derived from Aboriginal names?
Did y'all hear about the 200lb 8yo?
http://www.suntimes.com/news/nation/9122484-418/200-pound-3rd-grader-tak...
@Mike
What sort of idiot can't smell a container of petrol?
Anyhoo, that's Wangaratta - a backwater only bogans frequent. I'm surprised that pig fucking wasn't involved.
I still call dibs on Pete. :)
Owly...they just named her ex the prime suspect! Swat did a sting @ his house last nite.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
EEG! Baby, hang in there! I was told during my last pregnancy that I/my unborn son tested positive for Edwards syndrome/Trisomy 18....basically, fatal downs. It turned out to be a false-positive. THANK GOD! My son is healthy and happy...too happy if you ask his school. Assholes. Anyhoo, honey, I just want you to breathe and relax until you know more. I basically wanted to crawl in a fucking hole and give up when my OBGY called me at home with the news. He told me "don't freak out. Do not google it. You are going to google it aren't you?!". I said, "yes" and did just that....huge mistake. I cried like I have never cried before and I am a crier. My soul hurt. I was guilty. I had to WAIT OVER A MONTH to see a specialist who measured my son's everything while in the womb. It was HELL to me and my husband and family. We went from JOY to a black hole for over a month....for nothing. Now. I am going to pray for baby w/o knowing your preferrences. I apologize in advance and hope to not offend you. Nothing is scarier and I will pray for your peace, too. BUT! Please listen to me when I say "wait" until you know ALL the facts. I wish you and baby love. LOVE.
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The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
Guest: oh wow, I haven't seen anything since the story first broke.
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!