All The Ladies Fall In Love With Tommy

An Australian woman named Valeska Paris used to be a member of Tommy Girl's Happy Time Fun Church Of Crazy (aka Scientology) and is now talking to the media about how she was pretty much forced into doing slave labor on the organization's cruise ship called Freewinds (not to be confused with Rosie O'Donnell's Big Gay Cruise). Valeska was allegedly sent to work on the ship as punishment after her mom quit Scientology. For 12 years, Valeska slaved away for up to 18 hours a day on the ship's lower levels and was treated like shit out of a Thetan's ass by Scientology's head bitch in charge David Miscaviage. Valeska somehow got away and even though she's permanently scarred and can't even watch a Carnival cruise ship commercial without busting into a panic attack, she has amazing stories to tell. Some of those stories came from the time she worked Tommy Girl's big gay birthday extravaganzaaaaaa in 2004. Nobody brings the crazy like Scientology so you know this shit is going to be good.

Valeska tells the Village Voice (via The Superficial) that before his imperial space highness beamed down onto the ship, the slaves were told to only address him as "sir" and to not ask him for an autograph. The party was basically a giant finger banging Tommy in the butt. It was a Tom Cruise-theme party and there posters of his movies everywhere and the band played songs from his movies (except the ones he did with Nicole Kidman). But Valeska didn't even get to work Tommy's birthday party because her lip committed an act of treason:

“David Miscavige saw that I had a cold sore, and I was assigned to lower conditions and I was put in isolation for 4 days,” she says. She explains that she was assigned the “condition” of “Treason,” which is below “Enemy” but above “Confusion.”
“I was in Treason. So I wasn’t allowed to go to Tom Cruise’s birthday.”

So that's why Katie "Herp Sore" Holmes always looks like she's been chained to a steam pipe for days on an end. Because she has!

Valeska wasn't the only woman on the ship who got punished:

And she says three young women from the IASA—the administration of the International Association of Scientologists—were disciplined after the party. "They were trying to get Tom's attention. So they were put in the engine room."

They really should've just put all of the women in the engine room at the beginning of the party, because we all know how pussies burst out a tsunami of barley cream every time Tommy sashays around. David Miscaviage knows this and warned the females of the crew before Tommy arrived:

“He said, ‘Tom Cruise is coming and I need really good service, so who’s going to serve him?’ A woman spoke up. ‘No, no, it can’t be a woman, because he’s so good looking, any woman would fall for him.’ So a guy had to take the job,” she says.

If you gathered a million people in the same place and told that line, their full body laughs would send the earth flying into Xenu's volcano. They should make wallpaper with that line on it and cover the closet walls with it. Yeah, Tommy can't get near any woman or they will instantly fall in love with him, which is why he only surrounds himself with hot man pieces. "Sorry, I can't fuck you, because you have a vagina and you'll instantly fall in love with me" is probably a line Tommy used often. Well played, Tommy!

Here's a video from Tommy's birthday party of him trying to sing with The X-Factor's Stacy Francis. This is like that awkward moment during your office holiday party when you realize that your drunk co-worker who is acting the fool isn't drunk, he's just naturally fucking crazy.

If I was at that party, I'd find a way to give myself a cold sore so I could be banished to the damn engine room and put out of my misery.

And here's Tommy sweating his pit Thetans off with Brad Bird and Paula Patton at the press conference for Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol in Tokyo today. All you women folk, don't stare too long or else you'll fall in loooooove.

Posted by: Michael K

•

Submitted by HangryHippo on Wed, 12/07/2011 - 8:18am.

what.the.fuck.
this post leaves me not knowing whether to laugh or cry. i'm so overwhelmed.

www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack

Submitted by lastdiva on Sun, 12/04/2011 - 9:45am.

Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 1:02pm.
You want to be scared shitless?

Take some time to read:

http://www.lermanet.com/paulette-cooper/

http://whyaretheydead.info/
=============================

SHITSKY! This really did scare me shitless.

=============================

"That's an awfully high horse sir, may I pet him?"

Submitted by kittymuffin on Sat, 12/03/2011 - 10:35pm.

What is he ..he has tits and a gay ass..he truly makes me sick.

Alien

Submitted by bonghits4jesus on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 10:50pm.

Submitted by Datura on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 11:30pm.
He's wearing Dexter's kill shirt. I guess that's fitting for a creepy sociopath like Tom.

lmao

creepy concave abdomen alert.

Submitted by turnelbup on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 10:07pm.

He's got that "I took a gorilla up the ass last night" look.

Submitted by Datura on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 10:00pm.

He's wearing Dexter's kill shirt. I guess that's fitting for a creepy sociopath like Tom.

Submitted by Dion flowerboy on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 5:17pm.

If you squint a little, you can see unicorns escaping his butt and nipps.

Submitted by lastdiva on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 1:07pm.

Looks like Tommy Girl borrowed Captain Kirk's man-girdle.
http://www.thefoolwiki.org/William_Shatner
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"That's an awfully high horse sir, may I pet him?"

Submitted by saltydog88 on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 12:50pm.

He looks disgusting, he has one of those bodies that 50-year-old gay guys on human growth hormones get. I had a friend who had an older rich boyfriend and the guy started doing HGH and has that same fucked up booby looking chest and weird big upper abs like that.

Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 11:33am.

Submitted by whippersnapper on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 9:46am.
Submitted by Spaz de la Whoreta on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 9:19am.

"In the past 11 months, 161 calls to 911 were made from rooms in the hotel, but each time Scientology security guards said there was no emergency."

That's every other day. I wonder if the church has to pay a fine for so many "false" alarms.
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It's shit like this that really pisses me off, after THAT many "false" alarms it would seem like the police deaprtment would do some investigating, that is not normal.
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From what I have read, the CO$ has infiltrated local law inforcement, the governement, etc. In order to squash investigations into the church.

Submitted by sweet_b on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 11:32am.

Paul Patton is gorgeous...that is all :)

Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 11:32am.

You want to be scared shitless?

Take some time to read:

http://www.lermanet.com/paulette-cooper/

http://whyaretheydead.info/

http://www.lermanet.com/scientologynews/penthouse-LRonHubbardJr-intervie...

http://www.xenu.net/

Submitted by skabazzle on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 11:18am.

"Clearwater police are suspicious about the number of 911 calls that come from rooms at the Fort Harrison Hotel. Police respond to each call only to be told most of the time by Scientology security guards that the call was a mistake. Police are not allowed to check individual rooms where the calls originated.

--How can they prevent the police from searching the rooms where a call originated? Surely they don't need a search warrant if they're responding to a 911 call?

Well aren't you just carrying around a big bag of nothing!

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 10:23am.

I hate it when old guys try and dress like their sons.

PS - Not going to see this movie. Do not want to give money to that cult. Sorry Simon Pegg.

Submitted by Vanitas on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 10:02am.

Dog - Apparently the ship docked infrequently at small, in the middle of nowhere islands. Makes it kind of hard to escape. Also, this woman was raised in Scientolog for her whole life. She probably didn't know anything else.

Submitted by Vanitas on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 9:58am.

OMG !!!! He totally is wearing a girdle!!

bahahahahahaha

Submitted by whippersnapper on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 8:16am.

Submitted by Spaz de la Whoreta on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 9:19am.

"In the past 11 months, 161 calls to 911 were made from rooms in the hotel, but each time Scientology security guards said there was no emergency."

That's every other day. I wonder if the church has to pay a fine for so many "false" alarms.
**********************************************************************************

It's shit like this that really pisses me off, after THAT many "false" alarms it would seem like the police deaprtment would do some investigating, that is not normal.

Submitted by whippersnapper on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 8:05am.

Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 8:43am.
....THEY HAVE A COMPOUND OUT IN CALIFORNIA THAT SOUNDS ALMOST IDENTICAL TO A PRISON. LIKE BREE SAYS, THEY SEEM TO RUIN LIVES!!

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Do you mean the compound in San Jacinto? Gold Base? My brother lives near there, I don't think most people that live in San Jacinto are even aware of that they have a compund there but some pretty fucked up shit has gone on out there.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gold_Base

http://www.lermanet.com/scientologyscandals/sobobaescape.htm

How come our government does NOTHING to investigate them is beyond me and it is quite infuriating.

Submitted by Bree on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 8:05am.

http://www.xenu-directory.net/practices/rpf.html

http://www.xenu.net/archive/HCOB/FU-HCOB-610921.html

"The children who are subjected to this hypnotic interrogation are usually the children of the Sea Org. This is the elite core of the Scientology organisation. The children are those who have escaped the abortion arrangements of the "Ethics Officer". Since children are regarded as an unnecessary overhead in the Sea Org, young women who get pregnant are usually pressured into aborting their unborn children. After this they are sent to the RPF (Rehabilitation Project Force - a Sea Org hard labour punishment centre) for an indefinite period until they have reformed. Those children that do get born are denied access to their parents for all but one or two hours per week.

Many are sent away to a Sea Org centre for children where they are kept in appalling conditions and survive off appalling rations. Those that look after them do so as a punishment, not out of choice. Those children who survive, and some don’t, are expected to work for the Sea Org from an early age."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rehabilitation_Project_Force

One location, known as the Castile Canyon School or "Happy Valley", has been identified as a former RPF facility.[15] It was located east of San Jacinto, California, near the reservation of the Soboba Band of Luiseño Indians.

http://youfoundthecard.com/rehabilitation-project-force.php

The RPF and the RPF's RPF operated as a forced labor and reindoctrination camp and as a system and procedure to break the will of anyone thought to be 'out ethics' or 'counter intention' to Hubbard or his organization and activities.

It is a slave labor camp. She's not exaggerating.

Submitted by Spaz de la Whoreta on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 7:49am.

"In the past 11 months, 161 calls to 911 were made from rooms in the hotel, but each time Scientology security guards said there was no emergency."

That's every other day. I wonder if the church has to pay a fine for so many "false" alarms.

Submitted by SpiceDong on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 7:49am.

Tomasina should shoot some botox on his pits too...after all that is what Botox was first used for...it will prevent that embarrassing wet pit look he's always sporting.

I never found this trick hot...not even in his Risky Biz or Top Gun glory days. that huge beak, that smooth and stubby physique (like a frog's) and those fugly teeth (that eventually he managed to fix) never did it for me. the fact he is CRAZY doesn't help either.

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That peen needs some Miracle-Gro! - Bwhit19964

JLO must be using his entire body as an anal plug - Hellraiser

Submitted by Bree on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 7:50am.

Thanks, Sucky! I believe I found the article for those who want to read:

http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2011/02/14/110214fa_fact_wright

it's long but it's worth it.

Aside from all of the gory details of murder, wiretapping, fraud, theft, and other things...who the hell would join a religion where you have to pay increasing amounts of money to get to the next "level"? Yeah that doesn't sound like a shcam or anything!

Edit to avoid double posting: Thanks for checking out the links, Sucky, and for mentioning that Paul Haggis article because I totally forgot about it. I feel like a crazy person for posting so much but it's just so important to me for people to know that these guys are fun to make fun of, but they are really dangerous and have killed people and ruined peoples' lives. Thanks to all for listening to me ramble!

Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 7:41am.

Submitted by Bree on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 8:56am.
-----------------------------------------------

Thanks for the links, fascinating AND distubring much like MK's moon crater sized butt hole.

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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.

Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 7:33am.

yes Sucky that article was great, I made a bunch of people read it

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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11

Submitted by Bree on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 7:26am.

I recommend this article: http://www.xenu-directory.net/mirrors/www.whyaretheydead.net/others/ars1...

"Since 1980, at least eight members of the Church of Scientology have died in Clearwater under circumstances that leave their friends, families and in some cases law enforcement authorities looking for their own answers."

"In four of those deaths, like McPherson's, relatives or law enforcement officials suspect that the church's health regimen or its opposition to psychiatric care precluded appropriate medical care."

In the past 11 months, 161 calls to 911 were made from rooms in the hotel, but each time Scientology security guards said there was no emergency."

I also recommend some reading on Arnie Lerma who is a victim of Scientology's "fair game" policy as well, a written directive by L. Ron Hubbard that encourages harassment of anyone who speaks out against the church.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fair_Game_(Scientology)

Individuals or groups who are "Fair Game" are judged to be a threat to the Church and, according to the policy, can be punished and harassed using any and all means possible.

Edit: I also wanted to add Paulette's story, which you can read here:

http://www.xenu.net/archive/personal_story/paulette_cooper/

it outlines some of the things that Scientologists have done to ruin her life after she wrote a book about them.

Submitted by babybunny on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 7:15am.

Tommy girl looks like he has had a bit of nip and tuck....also has he ever heard of antiperspirant I have seen too many pics of his wet armpits he is just sooo gross, but the $ciento'sare under investigation by the FBI for human trafficking, enslavement, etc. Every shitty thingI hear about this cult I believe, they be EVIL beyond words, and all of the crappy, shitty things they do is true, I would be so ashamed to ever be linked to them....

Submitted by BitchyD on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 7:14am.

His face looks fresh and shiny. Botox?

Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 7:13am.

GOOGLE PAUL HAGGIS NEW YORK TIMES OR WHATEVER THE FUCK. BIG TIME ACADEMY AWARD WINNING WRITER WAS IN SCIENTOLOGY FOREVER THEN SAW THE LIGHT AND LEFT THAT SHIT, FASCINATING AS HELL WHAT GOES ON THERE, MUSICAL CHAIRS IN THE BASEMENT, BANKRUPTING PEOPLE, AND YES YOU CAN SAY "BITCH WAS THERE FOR A MILLION YEARS AND DIDN'T LEAVE" NO NO NO! THEY HAVE A COMPOUND OUT IN CALIFORNIA THAT SOUNDS ALMOST IDENTICAL TO A PRISON. LIKE BREE SAYS, THEY SEEM TO RUIN LIVES!!

Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 7:09am.

AFter watching that video M.E. put up yesterday, I'm convinced these fuckers are alien/lizard people.
______________________________________________
McGill Class of '97

*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-

Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 7:07am.

He's really gross. Maybe he wouldn't have pit stains if he wore looser clothing?
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Douchechill!

Submitted by Bree on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 7:06am.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I know people who have been in this cult and have had their lives pretty much ruined after finally going through deprogramming and counseling to leave. It's not easy and it's not safe. This is why any cult is dangerous - it is extremely difficult or impossible to leave. Google operation freakout and see what happens to people who speak out against the cult. They engage in many criminal activities and stop at nothing to shut you up.

Tell me how miscaviges mother in law died from a "suicide" when she had three gunshot wounds to the chest and one to the head? Google Roxanne friend, who was drugged, kidnapped, and imprisoned when she tried to leave. Google Joseph havenith who "drowned" in the bathtub with his head above water that was so hot, his skin boiled off.

It's all right there for you to see.

Submitted by humans_off_earth_now on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 6:44am.

Also, good on Brad Bird looking like he hates himself for doing this shit.

Srsly Tommy, take your aging moobs home and abuse your stepford wife and kid or something. Stop fucking abusing us.

****
"End well: this isn't going to." - MK

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 6:40am.

WTF, man? do scientoloolololloogists not believe in deodorant? and I just cannot wrap my mind around the thought of treating women so poorly. They sound like a big gay club for men with women slaves for beards... fucking sad.
_____________________________________________
"Dog, Jack drinks exclusively at the Braille Bar." EastEndGirl, 11/01/2011

Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 6:37am.

Submitted by Dog on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 8:01am.
Bree, I know CO$ is a cult but I will never believe you can't walk away. I want to leave somewhere I leave and ain't no one gonna stop me. And yes, she was on a boat but not 24/7/365, FFS. When the boat docked she could have said eff this and left. I just don't buy all of that "they wouldn't let me leave" drivel. Picture ANYONE telling me I HAVE TO stay somewhere I don't wish to.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That's because you are not brainwashed and terrified out of your mind, which is exactly what cults do to get their slaves to stay. It's also perfectly conceivable that they physically restrained her from leaving, possibly even with a weapon. Remember Jonestown? The people who wanted to leave with Congressman Ryan were fired upon, several died, including Ryan himself. $cientology is a cult like any other, uses the same tactics, and strong-minded people are usually not among those who joint in the first place.

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Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.

Submitted by humans_off_earth_now on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 6:35am.

Jesus FUCK I hate Tom The Fuck Cruise. And his fuckheaded criminal cult of a "religion." Fuck them both to hell.

Also, FUCK!

****
"End well: this isn't going to." - MK

Submitted by K2 on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 6:32am.

OK - Mr. Delusional Vagina Whisperer : purchase a better brand of deodorant because the sweat stains are disgusting and unsexy and guaranteed to reek !

Submitted by Dog on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 6:31am.

Bree, I know CO$ is a cult but I will never believe you can't walk away. I want to leave somewhere I leave and ain't no one gonna stop me. And yes, she was on a boat but not 24/7/365, FFS. When the boat docked she could have said eff this and left. I just don't buy all of that "they wouldn't let me leave" drivel. Picture ANYONE telling me I HAVE TO stay somewhere I don't wish to.

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www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by Bree on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 6:25am.

For the people telling her to leave, she can't leave leave. First of all, it's a boat. In the ocean. Secondly, the crazy scientologists won't let you leave. They are not beyond holding a person against their will and have done it many times for what they call "introspection rundown." working an 18 hour day is much better than the alternative which is being locked in a room, barely given any food if given any at all, no human contact, and no medical care for the inevitable dehydration you'll experience. They have their own doctors too so if you happen to die in their "care", they are good at making it look like an accident.
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Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 6:21am.

WHAT, a crazy fucking cult made someone a SLAVE, no shit eh?

Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 5:57am.

They allowed women to attend the Tom Cruise party?

If she was so enslaved how did she even get out to tell us about it? Or is it like your job where they can "force" you to work even though you are free to walk out the door and never come back, if you feel like it?

Submitted by QueenyBean on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 5:50am.

"Tommy can't get near any woman or they will instantly fall in love with him,"

I giggled so hard I pooted at this.
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Cure for cramps: weed. Weed for everything, really.- Bjork You

Submitted by Dog on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 5:44am.

Nice pit stains and fart pose, Poser Boy.

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www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by almostfamous88 on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 5:38am.

Lmao, this bitch was NEVER good looking

Submitted by Dog on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 5:33am.

What I want for Christmas: The Gay Midget in a situation where he has no control over anyone or anything. None whatsoever.

His frigging head would explode.

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www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 5:29am.

"If you gathered a million people in the same place and told that line, their full body laughs would send the earth flying into Xenu's volcano. "

I really can't stop loling at this.

Submitted by Dog on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 5:28am.

The Ego has landed.

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www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 5:27am.

TAMMY'S PIT STAINS!!!! YOU MEAN HE CAN LICK XENU'S MILLION DOLLAR BUTTHOLE BUT CAN'T GET SOME BOTOX ON THOSE LEAKY PITS?? HONEY!!! WHAT IS SHE DOING?????

Submitted by Dog on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 5:26am.

I'm so sure she was "forced" to work on a cruise ship for years and years. Honey, if you didn't like it you should have left. Period.

Looks like the Gay Midget is still fronting and failing miserably.

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www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org