The Photoshop Awards: The 2011 Kardashian Khristmas Kard
What's that saying? You can Photoshop a skid mark, but it's still a skid mark. The Kardashians proved that saying right for their annual sacrifice to the Adobe Gods. Last year's Karkrashian Khristmas Kard theme was "kreepy, kooky & kunty" and this year's theme is obviously hall of the sequined dead souls. This is the picture that's on the cover of the pamphlet Lucifer hands you when you're about to sign your soul over to him and he wants to make sure you're making an educated decision that's best for you.
These whores didn't even pose together. They took their pictures separately, threw them all under the silhouette of three giant titty balls (or are those used condoms?) and used the constipation tool to make all of them look like wax mannequins with the hard shits. They also pulled pounds of Sasquatch blubber from Khloe's legs and piled it all on Kourtney's ass. Not to mention that Pimp Mama Kris is the only one not wearing black and white. A wreck. But it was nice of those Kardashians to represent Kris Humphries' personality with that wooden chair in the back.
And this mess also comes in 3D. When you put on the glasses, a double stream of Ray J's piss comes splashing at you. Happy Pissmas from the Kuntrashians!
via Celebuzz
• 
uggs for cheap hold a mystique for many various people. They are like very well liked for creating restful boots for women. But they also produce various styles for men too. Within the past few years, the company has put on the market a large range of outdoor , traditional and sophisticated boots that are produced to appeal to a large segment of the population. Let us look closer at some of the cheap uggs that are presently available online and in stores.
I like how they photoshopped Coco's ass on Kourtney.
So the fact that Pimp Mama Kris wrote a book where she talked about cheating on Robert Kardashian and that Khloe is obviously the product of that wild night in the closet with Chewie on the Millenium Falcon not ring any alarm bells for old Bruce Jenner or what?
Hahahaha! Salacious, I had never seen that. That's great!
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
Really, fucking really? Are these people ever going to quit?
The good part is that their timing is awesome. I can't stop playing in my head that excerpt from the new Absolutely Fabulous episode and imagining that Edina and Patsy were looking at this pic.
Just for shits and giggles, here is that link again:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lq0FxwAlP_c
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
The only ones even remotely decent looking are Lamar and Rob. When is Bruce going to stop dying his hair it looks ridic!
ROTFLMAO @ Kim's legs!!!!! They are probably half that length and twice as wide in real life.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
You should see the fuckwads on their their twitters jacking them off about how "uber hot" the pic is. Who ARE these "fans" of theirs????? Seriously?
And they call Mason cute, so you know they are lying.
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I can't judge... the cheese biscuits at Red Lobster make me wanna touch myself
--Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 11/04/2011 - 9:41am.
11 self-absorbed nobodies being self-absorbed together
blah blah blah Golden Shower
blah blah blah Ray J
blah blah blah boring, ugly losers
who are the people who are interested in these crimes against humanity. They should all be locked up and forced to be re-educated.
Make the kunts go away!
The funny thing is that you can smell the desperation to look "fashionable" and so "NOW" only that they dont look like that, they are forever tacky, classles, and C.H.E.A.P no matter how many Harpers Bazar pics they try to recreate.
Cardashians, you look ridiculous. How can you have so much money and acces to stylists, and yet look like the wannabe rich people Im sick of seeing around?
Cardashians, if any of you freaks read this post,I wish you a crappy Christmas and a sucky new year...
(I write it with "C" because I hate the letter K)
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Submitted by Vern on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 10:52pm.
Wow Allesssssaaaandro McGosling.
Nobody's looking at the camera. Except PMK and maybe Scott. The pic is kinda creepy.
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
Mason is so damn cute. But I am a horror movie fan and I do agree with all that say he has shades of Gage/Damian/Children of the Corn, etc. I want a baby demon for Christmas!
And look at PMK's right hand (resting on the column). Her arm and hand are stretched like taffy. Must be the Willy Wonka taffy-pulling-room version of Photoshop.
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"When I come up, I rush, I rush for you..."
I am less than impressed. This photo sucks.
The only good thing I can say about this is that at least half the women are wearing heels without platforms.
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
Maybe next year they can line themselves up in a row of caskets, minus the baby...he's a cutie
Why can't famewhoring be lethal?
I wish someone with Photoshop skills would cut them out and line them all up so we could LOL at the fucked up distorted heights.
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
Are we sure that North Korea isn't crying hysterically because they just realized that they will now be subjected to Kardashian fuckery?
Beyond putrid. Not hot, not artistic, just fucking gross.
You know what I find rather hilarious (in addition to all the Photoshoppery) is how they try to paint Bruce as father of the year and have the extended family of spouses, boyfriends and grandkids on the card. Yet Bruce has his very own bio kids who are completely absent from the pretty family tableau.
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"You are fucking bitches, this is my prom!"
All five of my dogs farted... as soon as I clicked on this pist (typo. And it stays.)
a relative of my husbands was talking all matter-of-fact about kourtney on sat. like they knew each other and were good friends. i almost yelled at her for being responsible for the spread of kardashionitis, but she was making herself look foolish enough.
i took one look at khloe in these pictures and laughed my fucking ass off. bitch who you trying to kid? we already know you're a bigfoot, it's time to stop pretending.
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A baby's first words should not be: "DEATH DON'T TAKE ME NOW!!!" - MK
What part of this vomit stain on Kodak paper is festive???
This family is a joke, but they take themselves so seriously.
Who decides their choice of wardobes and poses? It's just too weird...
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"Crocs: They are to your eyes what second-hand smoke is to your lungs."
This Christmas as I cuddle next to baby Jesus and Rudolph the red nosed reindeer I will quietly nuzzle forward my Freddy the VAMPIRE 3-D glasses and dream a pretty song for eternity, the tears wearily falling off my tattered lapel…if only the family hadn’t divorced you Kris Humphries it would have been all be too unbelievably perfect. Alas….
http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2011/12/the-world-is-relieved-now-that-t...
Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 12/19/2011 - 3:04pm.
This is sort of on-topic and sort of off-topic. Mr. Hekki said yesterday that he "heard from someone" that his sister's family Xmas card cost $4,000.
I said "how would anyone possibly know that?". Unless she went bragging about it. Seriously, you're going to TELL people how much you paid for printing up your holiday cards? How obnoxious is that? We all know you're fucking rich already; is it necessary to inform everyone exactly how much of it you waste?
And the irony is that just last week she was complaining about how obnoxious it is when their friends complain about their "rich people problems" on FB, like "the golf trip is canceled because my custom clubs aren't finished yet". I said "Oh. That's a 'veiled brag' ".
Sometimes you have to laugh or you'll cry.
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Look, until you have a Jaguar that's constantly in the shop and a rejection notice from one of NYC's $50,000-per-year preschools for your special snowflake child, you'll never understand the PAIN and SUFFERING these people go through.
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
covering half of the youngest beast's face with her hair was a smart move. That chick is fug.
On what planet would Kim have legs that long? She is 5'3"! Hilarious.
I saw this earlier, and laughed so hard. Unbelievable- and they all make sexy face. Too fucking funny.
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What kind of fuckery are we?
Nowadays you don't mean dick to me
I might let you make it up to me...
-Amy Winehouse
I like stuff like this, as I am an only child of a single parent and never got the opportunity to do this.
GG,
People.com has a bio/timeline for Kim (I'm ashamed I looked it up, lol) but it says she started out as a stylist for Brandi and shopped for the likes of Lindsay Lohan!
I suggest they go full nun-wear because they've left nothing to the imagination.
Nasty. Just nasty. And who the fuck even wants this piece of shit for Christmas????
I didn't know there was DNA in my ass!
This is sort of on-topic and sort of off-topic. Mr. Hekki said yesterday that he "heard from someone" that his sister's family Xmas card cost $4,000.
I said "how would anyone possibly know that?". Unless she went bragging about it. Seriously, you're going to TELL people how much you paid for printing up your holiday cards? How obnoxious is that? We all know you're fucking rich already; is it necessary to inform everyone exactly how much of it you waste?
And the irony is that just last week she was complaining about how obnoxious it is when their friends complain about their "rich people problems" on FB, like "the golf trip is canceled because my custom clubs aren't finished yet". I said "Oh. That's a 'veiled brag' ".
Sometimes you have to laugh or you'll cry.
All of the obvious Photoshop Phuckery is just breathtaking!
I like the theory of someone a few pages back that Kris H. was photoshopped out of the chair. To go along with that, I think Kim and Courtney's heads were swapped, which explains Courtney's suddenly giant arse.
The proportions are just ridiculous. The younger sister in the short dress would be eight feet tall if her legs were that long!
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. –michelleb
Really LaChaylo, Whore 1 thinks she's a stylist??? She always looks like shes a over stuffed sausage or she borrowed a 5 year olds dress. I am short (4'11") and am busty but I wear clothes that fit me, are age appropriate and look good on the figure I have. I also dont go full kabuki with the make up. I save the slutwear for after work or 5pm. So what is her excuse??? She has money so she SHOULD look a thousand times better than me but she doesn't. Therefore, who would have her style them?
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Mon, 12/19/2011 - 2:24pm.
Why is Courtney wearing socks with heels? Her legs already look the stumpiest in this pic - why accentuate the negative?
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GG, love, you know these bitches have always been about accentuating the negative. I don't understand how Kim has called herself a "stylist" and how they can be called authorities on fashion. It's like saying Sandra Lee is an authority on gourmet cuisine.
lol They put Rob and scott in the corner.
Halloween Maaaybe. Christmas NO
Since I'm viewing the photo on my phone, I can't zoom in, but the whore on the far left has legs twice as long as the rest of her body. It's unreal.
I can't wait for this to be on Photoshop Disasters.
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
Since when did Kim and Khloe look like they weighed 98 pounds? And isn't Lamar 6'10"? If Kim was on the top step, she'd go up to his chin.
Why is Courtney wearing socks with heels? Her legs already look the stumpiest in this pic - why accentuate the negative?
Please, someone throw all of them together inside a pool filled with Kim Zolciak's wigs and let em chocke to death - on camera, just so they die the way they lived, as cheap ass talentless famewhores.
Nigella and Jamie ain't got shit on Titli !
http://titlisbusykitchen.com/
Submitted by Sweetas on Mon, 12/19/2011 - 1:44pm.
Submitted by sinjin on Mon, 12/19/2011 - 1:31pm.
Hahahaha!! I swear you just made me picture Scott approaching with scary intensity, getting right up to your face, psycho eyes flashing, lips curled into a sneer, reaching behind him and pulling out... a carrot *crunch crunchcrunchcrunch* Nyyeah, what's up doc?
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LMAO! IKR! I just realized the ugly Jenner girl looks like a chola (It's that thin lower lip)plus she's dressed like a restaurant mariachi, which isn't helping her cause either.
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
I remember last year someone said these Christmas cards look like the cover of a V.C. Andrews book. Hahahahaha! Still laughing at that one!
I just saw the closeups on Amy Grindhouse's site.
Khloe has a black veil over her face. I guess this is a funeral. The death of their fame hopefully.
And the look on Kendall's face looks like she just witnessed a gory crime scene. The look of sheer horror is classic.
And THIS is supposed to bring up warm and fuzzy Christmas wishes?
Why is the only person who's displayed any kind of talent out of that mess...shunned off to the side...Oh, guess I just answered my own question.
All that's missing are some spider webs, coffins, and piles of money to complete this macabre, evil fuckery.
Silly MichaelK! A pimp never dresses like her (his) hos.
who the fuck gets these xmas cards? or who the fuck wants them??!!!
Coma Caca!
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Submitted by sinjin on Mon, 12/19/2011 - 1:31pm.
Hahahaha!! I swear you just made me picture Scott approaching with scary intensity, getting right up to your face, psycho eyes flashing, lips curled into a sneer, reaching behind him and pulling out... a carrot *crunch crunchcrunchcrunch* Nyyeah, what's up doc?