Programming Note: Guest Bloggers & Holiday Crap
The Christmas angels in Chicago have given the Internet a holiday miracle this year and that miracle is called Jan Terri's comeback! YAASSS! When you first walk through the broken gates of the Internet, you immediately see a welcome sign with Jan Terri's "Losing You" video on it. Jan Terri is the soundtrack of our Internet lives. And after years of praying for her return, she is back with the perfect holiday song for you to sing to yourself while you're three Lohans to the wind and locked in the bathroom to get away from your family. I'll hum this song while cutting into a piece of holiday tiramisu at an Olive Garden in Rome. They have Olive Garden in Italy, right?
This year, my family decided to skip the giving presents shit and instead we're really getting neck deep into the holiday spirit by torturing and annoying each other while traveling all around Italy for a week. I've already come up with a drinking game. Every time my sister asks if they have any gluten-free pasta, I'll shoot myself. No, she's not going to ask that, because she's bringing her own (no joke). Anyway, I will still blog something every day, but while I'm seeing all the beautiful sights of Italy (examples: the alley way where Snooki passed out, the STD clinic built in The Situation's name) seasoned Dlisted guest blogger Sweetas and J. Harvey, formerly of Socialite Life and currently of Manhunt Daily, will be filling in the fuckery for me. Sweetas will continue to write all the Charlize Theron fanfic you need and J. Harvey will fill the quota for b-hole jokes. Also, my friend Lahoma will be covering most of the Hot Sluts. Lahoma used to write for Dlisted back in the olden days when I was on Blogspot and he's the one who came up with Hot Slut of the Day, so he's the perfect piece of trash for the job.
Dlisted will return to its normally scheduled foolery on January 3rd.
And now I have to go and practice how to say "Oh no, officer, that's just American oregano for my allergies..." in Italian. Merry Rojo Calientemas!
(Jan Terri's Return via TGBHH)
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Submitted by Dog on Sat, 12/24/2011 - 11:07am.
I didn't mind the guest bloggers at all until I heard that Jack was deleting comments he didn't like and slamming people who slammed him. Anyone with a blog knows they have to take the good with the bad and no matter how ugly the criticism gets, they should never reply to it.
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ummmhmmmm.....
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It's already tax time again!? Guess I gotta get my trusted tax adviser, Stephen King, on the phone STAT.
MILLIONS ARE CRYING
you guys are so lame, it's the holidays, spread some fucking cheer, and if you don't like the guest bloggers, tear yourself away from your computers and spend sometime with your family, you know, the ones who keep you in the basement
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
HA HA HA HA!!!!-- that Jan Terri video!!! Priceless. (:o]
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There is an eagle in me that wants to soar, and there is a hippopotamus in me that wants to wallow in the mud. (Carl Sandburg)
Hippo wins.
Who ever said you were jealous???
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
me and my boy just busted up over the drinking game. very funny!
hope you all have loads of fun!
and merry christmas everyone!
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Posh Beckham is one of the Seven Signs of the Apocalypse.
The intellectually challenged always seem resort to crying "jealousy" when presented with a dissenting opinion. One example that comes to mind is the 400lb bitches from a Ricki Lake "Too Fat to Wear That!" episode shaking their shit in thongs and tube tops while bellowing at the obviously disgusted audience "Y'ALL IS JUST JELLIS OF THA JELLY!!!! YOU WISH YOU HAD THIS BODY!!!!!!".
Kinda sad, but whatever gets you through the day, I guess.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Sat, 12/24/2011 - 11:00am.
Nancy Grace, jack removed that right away, and felt horrible about it. And notice, he is not doing it again.
I have no comment on the guest bloggers. It has to be really difficult to try and keep up with MK's humor and writing style, and no way would I want to try it!
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It seems to me that people aren't worried that someone will be blogging who has a humor and writing style that's different from MK's.....but rather that shitty post and lack luster humor will be undeservedly met with applause and accolades from longtime "fans" while those who treat shitty writing as it should be treated are targeted and hassled for speaking the truth. Let's hope that doesn't happen.
b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
Don't trust a hoe, Never trust a hoe, I won't trust a hoe. Won't trust me.
I didn't mind the guest bloggers at all until I heard that Jack was deleting comments he didn't like and slamming people who slammed him. Anyone with a blog knows they have to take the good with the bad and no matter how ugly the criticism gets, they should never reply to it. Jack did. Overall, I think he and Sweetas did a good job. If you don't like what they (or anyone else posts) then don't read it. It's not rocket science. But remember, too, that any reg who guest blogs is open to potshots by people who are obviously jealous that MK didn't entrust his blog to THEM while he was/is away. Jealousy is an ugly and amusing thing to watch. I would bet that blogging isn't as easy as MK, J. Harvey and Sweetas make it look. {{hugs to them all}}
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Nancy Grace on Sat, 12/24/2011 - 9:13am.
Not this again! Will there be yet another "FUCK ALL DA HATAS!!!!!!!!" thread posted by the guest bloggers and taken down within minutes? Jack and Sweetas were cringeworthy last time around and really alienated MK's readers with their "flipping the bird" post and hostile remarks to anyone who expressed criticism in the comments, while sending hearts and shit to their "fans". I can't BELIEVE this DISASTER is on repeat. Hopefully the professional blogger takes most of the reigns this time.
The comments section is going to be vomit inducing "supportive" trash. A troll paradise, hell to others. I'll be avoiding it (as I generally do anyway).
My intent isn't to give people shit and there's no point in relentlessly insulting the guest bloggers, but Ill be damned if I repress this opinion because of the middle school level bullying and policing that goes on sometimes by the "regulars".
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Right on Nancy. I'm right there with ya!
b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
Don't trust a hoe, Never trust a hoe, I won't trust a hoe. Won't trust me.
Nancy Grace, jack removed that right away, and felt horrible about it. And notice, he is not doing it again.
I have no comment on the guest bloggers. It has to be really difficult to try and keep up with MK's humor and writing style, and no way would I want to try it!
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Don't cry, now that I've found you
Don't cry, take a look around you
Don't cry, it took so long to find you
Do what you want but little darlin' please don't cry
Let it go, Stoney, just concentrate on the good stuff...
*sigh*
I guess it's too fucking hard for some numbskulls to go read one of the other 28972 gossip blogs for a week. Best to stay here and criticize the guest writing. So much more fun that way!
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Not this again! Will there be yet another "FUCK ALL DA HATAS!!!!!!!!" thread posted by the guest bloggers and taken down within minutes? Jack and Sweetas were cringeworthy last time around and really alienated MK's readers with their "flipping the bird" post and hostile remarks to anyone who expressed criticism in the comments, while sending hearts and shit to their "fans". I can't BELIEVE this DISASTER is on repeat. Hopefully the professional blogger takes most of the reigns this time.
The comments section is going to be vomit inducing "supportive" trash. A troll paradise, hell to others. I'll be avoiding it (as I generally do anyway).
My intent isn't to give people shit and there's no point in relentlessly insulting the guest bloggers, but Ill be damned if I repress this opinion because of the middle school level bullying and policing that goes on sometimes by the "regulars".
MK blogs for a living, and he can take the shit. Celebrities can too. It's part of what they do.
Guest bloggers are just ordinary folk who volunteered their time.
So many people confuse freedom of speech with being an asshole.
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"This is so over the top the director must be a Sherpa." -- Who Datt
Submitted by Stoney on Sat, 12/24/2011 - 12:14am.
You are the one to tell others that they were raised in a barn. Thanks for that laugh.
I think criticism should be allowed here. Why try to copy MK's writing style if you could make an impression with your own? That's all I wanted to say with that. I think it's funny when people try to act like the bodyguards of a person who doesn't even seem to mind the critcism his-/herself. Also, I know Sweetas just as much as any celebrity bing criticized on here (in a far nastier way, might I add), so why should one be fair game and the other treated like a raw egg? Can't take the heat...
And what is it about that alt paranoia? Forgot to take your meds, or what?
♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬
Rrridiaouw woo oo rrri-ou!
Islandgirl, no, but I fucking WISH.
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"This is so over the top the director must be a Sherpa." -- Who Datt
Migraineuse, if you're here--- it's Alan Rickman, isn't it? :)
Merry Whateveryoucelebratemas to everyone!! Have a great vaca MK!!
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Why some turds evade the whirlpool...god only knows. They are survivors. The fittest.
- Hysteria
Submitted by FilthyBitch on Fri, 12/23/2011 - 8:16pm.
As others have pointed out, being civil does not equal being an ass-kisser. Besides, I was wrong about your being the only one. But yes, you're both in the minority. That's fine. You're entitled to think what you want.
I agree with whoever said that tearing down guest bloggers is like telling someone who cooked you dinner that it tastes like shit. There are real humans behind those posts. You don't have to agree with whatever they say, and you don't even have to like them. But they're guests, and they deserve some hospitality from us. You'd likely feel the same way if it were your writing up there for the world to judge.
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"This is so over the top the director must be a Sherpa." -- Who Datt
Bjork You:
I am always up! And for those people here that cannot stand the guest bloggers, it's really quite simple...
click that X up in the corner, bitch!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
Submitted by Stoney on Sat, 12/24/2011 - 1:22am.
I don't understand why being nice to someone you've been buddies with on here for years is considered fawning. Compliments should not be off limits. They are a fuck lot better to hear on here than the constant insults. Insults should be saved for the celebrities but for some reason it seems to be perfectly acceptible to pick out someone who seems to be popular and bash their character to pieces and wish them suicide and death by fire, etc. I mean, can't we save that shit for the Duggars?
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Hi Stoney,
I wasn't addressing you, that is, singling you out, and no, supporting friends is not fawning. I was not talking about constructive criticism, just like how I was not talking about compliments or support from friends and from those who didn't know them at all and just liked what they were posting and admired what they were doing. Those kind of comments were there during that time, but to me they felt overshadowed by the extremes, and that is what I was addressing.
And everybody gets bashed here from time to time, not just the popular ones, whoever they are. (Although I suspect being popular means to some a person who is friendly and people seem to respond to. Oh well, some people never played well with others in the sandbox.)
I don't understand why being nice to someone you've been buddies with on here for years is considered fawning. Compliments should not be off limits. They are a fuck lot better to hear on here than the constant insults. Insults should be saved for the celebrities but for some reason it seems to be perfectly acceptible to pick out someone who seems to be popular and bash their character to pieces and wish them suicide and death by fire, etc. I mean, can't we save that shit for the Duggars?
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Please remember me when you win your MILLIONS!
Bjork, my SIL always wins something. She got about $40 worth of scratch offs for her birthday and won over $300 on them.
Personally, I never buy scratch offs for myself; the payouts are not enough for my greedy ass. I used to work at a convenience store, and there were some people who would come in and spend $50, $80 at a time on them, and they'd stand right there scratching them off and maybe win $20, and immediately spend that on more. Addicts.
I spend $4 a week on Powerball, because I want to win MILLIONS.
Submitted by Stoney on Sat, 12/24/2011 - 1:01am.
Oh give it time. I'm sure the name-calling is coming. Telling someone who is doing their best to please you that they are just annoying and trying too hard is pretty ridiculous. It's like telling someone who is cooking for you that it tastes like shit. Asshole move in my opinion.
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Nah, I just might try and avoid the comments section during that time because the hating is gross, but so is the fawning. (People who haven't been here in ages will come out, the trolls will be excited, and all the alts of folks will trot out, and then it will be this divisive camp, blah, blah, blah, snore.)
I'll just enjoy their writing. I've read both bloggers; the readers of dlisted are in good hands.
Somebody blow a toke my way, please.
I love when I get lottery tickets for gifts. And really, I think I just might win when I scratch the ticket with a coin or my nail. But I don't win, and honestly, I get disappointed. But I still love them as gifts. I forget about the last time I lost and go at it again, thinking that this time I just might win.
Oh give it time. I'm sure the name-calling is coming. Telling someone who is doing their best to please you that they are just annoying and trying too hard is pretty ridiculous. It's like telling someone who is cooking for you that it tastes like shit. Asshole move in my opinion.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
My wrapping consisted of printing out decorative envelopes, in which I placed lottery tickets. And since I have no Christmas spirit whatsoever, if someone wins big on any of these tickets, I am gonna be pissed.
All right now, no one said anything nasty. And while I don't agree with the two dlisters who dared to express a dissenting opinion about Sweetas's blogging, they did just that, express a sentiment with no name calling or hostility. And if it didn't seem to bother Sweetas, why should it bother us to that degree? I don't know if they are alts, but I do know that I disagree with them. I think that Sweetas maintained her voice while keeping the spirit of the site alive. Frankly, the only thing I found annoying about the guest blogging this past summer were the comments, which veered from nasty, pathetic hating to vomit-inducing fawning and cheerleading.
I'm looking forward to them; I still remember Sweetas's post on Nothing, a short, meditative passage celebrating... Nothing. Clever bitch. And I read the page that Rascal posted, and I look forward to reading this J. Harvey (and Lahoma, too).
Anyway, I am done wrapping gifts, and it's finally now beginning to feel like Christmas, whatever the hell that is.
Perhaps some people here could learn that there is a mature way to handle a guest blogger that you happen to not care for. You don't have to be a complete cunt to prove you aren't kissing someone's ass. You can keep your bully mouth shut and realize that this site is here for your free entertainment, and a guest blogger won't last forever. I swear to God some of you must have been raised in a barn with such horrendous manners. It's fucking Christmas! Sweetas, you have my full support. Thanks for filling in!
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Yeah, drinking!
What's good, sluts? I haz had one too many beers. In a big boisterous Irish family like mine, you need to pregame xmas eve...
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
Have a safe and wonderful trip, MK! Thanks for another hilarious year. We love you.
And thanks to the guest bloggers. As pointed out earlier, they are not paid to entertain us...especially during such a busy time of year, when I'm sure most peoples' plated are filled as it is. So thank you for doing such a service while receiving nothing, other than cheers or jeers from the minions, in return.
Happy holidays to my fellow DL'ers, whatever your religion, traditions, or beliefs may be. The mixture of views of us, as commenters, are one of the many reasons Dlisted works so well for me. Peace and love to each of you and may you have a spectacular year ahead.
Lovingly,
AtomicCity
"A candle loses nothing of its light by lighting another candle."--catholicschoolgirl
Triston, are you up?
Oh, I have missed her! Jan FTW! Get down Gob-rins!
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Save it for your Linkedin profile, bitch!
I am beyond hoffified
I would love a Toilet bat for Christmas.
Does it unclog my toilet?..like as on tv?
She and that toe -headed Goddess Bunny should make a commercial for Kohls.
Oop! A poke in a difficult slime. Oh my, my dear one, now that was quite unkind. So I pulled it out, real slow and fine...and put it back in this dark pit of mine.
b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
Don't trust a hoe, Never trust a hoe, I won't trust a hoe. Won't trust me.
Mk and Family - Happy Holidays. Have a safe and enjoyable trip; you deserve it.
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"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." Christopher Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP Winehouse,1983-2011) *caprica six was/is here*
Submitted by Migraineuse on Fri, 12/23/2011 - 5:35pm.
Submitted by FilthyBitch on Fri, 12/23/2011 - 3:13pm.
I'm sure I'm the only one that feels this way.
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You are.
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Forgive me for not being an ass-kisser.
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"I've got a strong stomach and no standards to speak of" - MK 2/5/11
And ooh did I glide, like a lubed up banana on a slip-n-slide...
b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
Don't trust a hoe, Never trust a hoe, I won't trust a hoe. Won't trust me.
Welcome to the guest bloghorz!
My first taste of Italy was arriving in Rome on a Sunday when the whole place was shut down; getting pinched and propositioned by sleazy men at the train station; and my friend and I finally changing into long black sweaters and skirts and following a group of nuns around closely all day so we wouldn't get groped.
We lost the nuns at some point (or they lost us) and had to literally hit the men with our umbrellas on the street so they'd leave us alone. Ended up fleeing to the Coliseum on foot to take refuge in the company of loud, boorish tourists we'd normally avoid.
Hope you get groped by a better class of men, MK.
I opened up wide. To him I did abide.
Don't trust a hoe, Never trust a hoe, I won't trust a hoe. Won't trust me.
Submitted by little_rascal on Fri, 12/23/2011 - 7:18pm.
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Fri, 12/23/2011 - 7:04pm.
What's a toilet bat?
...or do I not want to know?
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It's Comingback's lexicon, from Britney Spears' trainwreak period. Toilet bats, sofa batteries, boot moves, sock slots, green beans, etc....
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oh I was afraid that maybe it was something along the lines of "blue waffle." Sometimes with this place ignorance is bliss. lol
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
Happy Hore-y Days, MK!
Have fun! You've left us in the extra special care of the wonderful Sweetas, et al. And we can always beat ourselves off, which is often the case anywhore.
♥
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Ahahaaa! I saw this in "recent comments" and had to laught & click:
"What are toilet bats?"
Just so happens toilet bats AND Comingback are in the Urban Dictionary under "comingback":
"BE BACK IN THIS CHAT AGAIN, Y'ALL YOU JELLUS H8TERS WILL BE FLAP SMACK SALLY WACK WHEN BRITNEY GETS HER BOOT MOVES IN THE TOILET BATS WITH TENNIS CANS!"
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PS: it's not supposed to make senses :) that's why the legendary commenter "Comingback" twas brillig!
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Ummmm...not sure what else to say lol. Youtube has a LOT to answer for. But seriously if it makes her happy then why the hell not? Keep on singing those little masterpieces of 'HUH?', Jan!
Submitted by little_rascal on Fri, 12/23/2011 - 6:20pm.
I think Sweetas did a great job of guest-blogging last time, and it's very nice of her to agree to help MK so that he can have some time off with his family in Italy.
Sweetas ♥
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I agree. In my appreciation of MK blogging practically every day, I'd come here and give him blog hits even if he just threw up an open post once a day while on vacation. It's pretty considerate of him to round up guest bloggers, and of those guest bloggers to take time out of their schedules to give us fresh posts to fart around with. Of course they're not Michael K; Michael K is Michael K.
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Fri, 12/23/2011 - 7:04pm.
What's a toilet bat?
...or do I not want to know?
============
It's Comingback's lexicon, from Britney Spears' trainwreak period. Toilet bats, sofa batteries, boot moves, sock slots, green beans, etc....
Submitted by mike on Fri, 12/23/2011 - 6:48pm.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Fri, 12/23/2011 - 6:27pm.
MK, have a great holiday!! I'm sure you'll be the first person I know to come back from Italy and not complain about the pervy, arse-pinching guys. ;)
Joe, did you and your reading group ever read any Patrick Leigh Fermor?
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Hey, funny you should ask - I'm right in the middle of "In Tearing Haste" and I LOVE it - his prose is incredible. I sometimes reread the same paragraph several times :)
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