The Audience Will Be The Miserable Ones
And here I was thinking that nothing could leave me in a state of disgusted confusion like this NSWFish picture of Charlie Sheen working as a cheese cleaner to earn that 8 ball, but this dreadful musical theater news has beat that shit.
Tom Hooper, the director of The King's Speech, is doing a Les Miserables movie and so far his casting decisions haven't made my ears cringe themselves shut. Tom cast Russell Crowe as Javert, Hugh Jackman as Valjean, Anne Hathaway as Fantine, Eddie Raymane as Marius and he's talking to Sacha Baron Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter about taking the roles of Thenardier and Mme Thenardier. Not that bad. But "not that bad" has turned into "OMGMYEARSWHYTORTURE!", because Tom has offered Taylor Swift the role of Eponine. Eponine is that dumb urchin bitch who is in love with Marius, but still leads him to his true love Cosette and eventually gets herself shot up in the end. I know all of this, because I was gay in high school. Musical theater was the only way to deal.
Broadway World has it on good authority that after months of auditions, Taylor Swift beat out ScarJo, Lea Michele and Evan Rachel Wood. Universal has also offered the role of Cosette to Amanda Seyfried. Rehearsals start at the end of the month, so the entire cast should be announced soon.
I'm sure a warm feeling would fill most of our dead hearts while watching Taylor Swift die a slow painful death, but Tom Hooper said himself that all of the actors will have to sing live. LIVE. Taylor Swift + singing live = eardrum genocide! Can't they dub her with a goat getting strangled? It would be more on key.
The only reason I can come up with as to why Tom would cast this yodeling broomstick is that he really wants the audience to feel the pain of the characters. You know, when Taylor gets a bullet to the body, he really wants all of us to pull out a gun and shoot ourselves in the ears to escape the torturous sound of her last singing notes.
I was expecting Lea Michele to get it, from the short-runner list, even tho she is annoying. I thought she looked more like Sacha Borat Cohen's daughter.
I always thought of Eponine as a dark, street urchin not as a cornbred country girl.
Eponine to me was always Frances Ruffelle who was in the original.
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Help me!
"Yodeling broomstick"
Make room for that Pulitzer prize, MK!!!
Submitted by moomarse on Wed, 01/04/2012 - 6:16pm.
I am so fucking sick of Taylor Swift.... and that fucking face! my god, can she come up with another "I am so surprised" face cuz that shit is OLD!!!!! And since she can barely sing, who the fuck says she can act????
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ITA.
I am so fucking sick of Taylor Swift.... and that fucking face! my god, can she come up with another "I am so surprised" face cuz that shit is OLD!!!!! And since she can barely sing, who the fuck says she can act????
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I guess it's best to end a relationship the same way you start it: absolutely fucking tanked. MK 6/11
Who is going to play young Cosette? Surely they won't be cutting "Castle on A Cloud." This is just going to be torture for fans.
Doesn't MK call Emmy Rossum "the poor man's Anne Hathaway"? I'd rather see her as Eponine than Taylor Swift. Lea Michele can definitely do the part. Fuck, I'd take Mandy Moore over Taylor Swift.
Okay, so I just looked at that NSFW pic. WOW! That is absolutely horrible. The face on that guy...ewwww.....
Coke is a hell of a drug.
Crap. Crapola. Garbage. Trash. Junk.
You can say it as many ways as you may desire...this movie is going to SUCK. Many of the actors I could do without.
Something about Amanda Seyfriend annoys me. Just not digging that girl. Also, Taylor Swift is one of the most overplayed people. She is a good singer. That is about it.
Except for Helena Bonham Carter and Sacha Baron Cohen playing the Thenardiers..."Master of the House" is the best song on the soundtrack IMO. Hilarious!
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
I have it on good authority that this remake is really going to suck.
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
Poll NOT pole! Lol
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
No wonder the French hate everybody.
O....M.....G...... at that Charlie Sheen pic. Is that real?
Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 01/04/2012 - 3:11pm.
If you call opening your mouth as wide as humanely possible and screeching at the top of your lungs singing... oh wait, that's the whole Broadway. That genre should die a painful death.
DUDES. I don't like this chick any more than you do, but look at the alternatives. ScarJo and even worse, LEA MICHELE. We got a freebie. Not that I'm watching this anyway.
LOL@yodeling broomstick.
♥ Threadkilla!
"god bless, buy my single!"~Courtney Stodden
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 01/04/2012 - 3:54pm.
"On my own...pretending I can si-i-ing..."
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LOL, pls, I'm in a bitch mood tonight, but DONT make me start re-quip Le Mez' song lines with our homegrown fuckery!! Fuck it, here's my homage to Taylor's part:
"...I had a dream my voice would beeee....so different from this hell I'm singingggggg!!....."
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"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." Christopher Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP Winehouse,1983-2011) *caprica six was/is here*
What kind of, for real now, broadway-stage-acting (which is THE most difficult kind of acting) has Taylor Swift got?!!? For real?? I will be waiting/watching a clip as soon as it comes out, and, if she is GOOD - not halfway decent or okay - if she is full-on GOOD in that part then I'll eat dirt. She snookied with someone for that part in that stage classic. Sheesh.
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"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." Christopher Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP Winehouse,1983-2011) *caprica six was/is here*
Funny, I just saw a pole in US magazine that was asking who ppl would like to see in this role. Leah Michele got 58% of the vote. The rest of the girls got less than 20% of the vote.
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
This post made me laugh and cringe. Hathaway if full of "meh" and Swift is full of "ugh" so perhaps they'll cancel each other out in this. I have a 15 year old nephew that has lived for Le Miz since he was 11 years old. It's how he deals.
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami
Amanda Seyfried must have the best fucking agent or the best blowjob skills in all how Hollywood. Her only successful movies are things that she wasn't the star of. In Time, Red Riding Hood, Chloe and Jennifer's Body all pretty much bombed.
Sounds like straight to dvd.
"On my own...pretending I can si-i-ing..."
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
undinespragg : YES! To Gerarld Butler as as Valjean. lol
Russell Crowe is an odd choice for Javert. I've never seen the play only read the book but I imagine him to be slimier. and skinnier.
WAIT,...is that really Charlie Sheen? I hope that is a joke cause homeless teefless men have no money, I know from experience!!
NOOooOOoOoOoooooo to Amanda Friedegg for Cosette!
She is not right for that role and she sucks at acting!!!
Meh to the rest of the cast. And I actually don't mind Taylor Swift playing Eponine. She gets shot up anyways.
edit - wrong post.
lol no. This movie is gonna be a hot hot mess. Lea Michelle is as pleasant as an anal probe, but she was born to play Eponine. ERW can sing too, she was in Across the Universe.
Submitted by sweet_b on Wed, 01/04/2012 - 2:40pm.
I know, right?! Didn't she get a record deal at like 14? She sucks and she's richer than I'll probably (holding out hope for the lottery) ever be. Sighhh.
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Douchechill!
Submitted by buckeyemama on Wed, 01/04/2012 - 3:09pm.
Not Taylor Swift! She can't pull it off WTF?! OMG! Eponine is the perfect role for Lea Michelle. Sorry I don't like Lea Michelle but have seen Les Mis enought to know that you need someone ballsy like her in the part.
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Lea actually already played her on Broadway. She knows that role in & out
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 01/04/2012 - 3:06pm.
Ms. Brooks, where have you been?!
I was sick. I had the cold from Hell. I posted a little bit here and there between blowing my nose. ;-)
what the FUCK is Less Miserables?
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
If this overrated talentless horse faced fucking glib cunt gets the role of Eponine, I will fucking stab someone. I haven't been this angry in a while
(flips table a la Gorilla Guidice)
however, I love this
"Sacha Baron Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter about taking the roles of Thenardier and Mme Thenardier."
Not Taylor Swift! She can't pull it off WTF?! OMG! Eponine is the perfect role for Lea Michelle. Sorry I don't like Lea Michelle but have seen Les Mis enought to know that you need someone ballsy like her in the part.
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Opinions are like a**holes, everybody has one
Ms. Brooks, where have you been?!
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"yay!!! me husband is a big hairy cave man an came to claim me with his club : ) and now im in cave-land.. yay!! we both go panto!"
Submitted by JoJo on Wed, 01/04/2012 - 2:43pm.
Submitted by undinespragg on Wed, 01/04/2012 - 2:37pm.
I think Gerard Butler did a great job in POTO (if it really was him.) He'd make a very good Valjean. I'm sure I'll see it regardless of who they cast....I love Les Mis.
>hangs head in shame and slinks off to the corner<
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**Joins JoJo in corner**
She is annoying. And I just realized she reminds me of my middle school best friend. We don't talk anymore.
Amanda Bullfrog's singing is GAWD AWFUL. Her singing in Mama Mia made me want to stab my ear with a rusty butterknife.
Taylor Swift + Anne Hathaway? AhhhhhhhRGh!
Too damn wholesome! NO, don't think I'll partake...
"The only money shot you'll get is a load of tears to the face." MK
If Renee Zellweger didn't exist Taylor'd be the squintiest bitch in show business.
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What kind of fuckery is this?
to quote Angel Eye quoting TS: "I'll be livin in the big city and all you'll ever be is mean!"
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Well, I was kinda hoping it would be Evan Rachel Wood...don't know if she can sing or not, but at least she can act.
Hells to the NO for Taylor Swift.
WHAT is it?
That pic is scary!! Charlie Sheen or not, I'm gonna barf now....
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 01/04/2012 - 2:46pm.
That casting sounds kind of good. SBC and HBC are gonna steal the thunder, though.
Oh totally. They are perfect for those parts.
"Taylor Swift the role of Eponine"
NO.
Oh look, you guys, her eyes are OPEN!
That casting sounds kind of good. SBC and HBC are gonna steal the thunder, though.
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"yay!!! me husband is a big hairy cave man an came to claim me with his club : ) and now im in cave-land.. yay!! we both go panto!"
She doesn't have anywhere near the vocal range for off-off-off Broadway (aka Cleveland) much less LES MIS!!! He did tell her she won't have an autotune earpiece when she's "acting", right?
Well aren't you just carrying around a big bag of nothing!
Well that's... disappointing. From her obvious lack of talent, she must give amazing head.
Regardless, I'm counting my blessings that's it's Taylor compared to watching Lea Michwhateverbitch pretentious slag open her maw to screech every vowel sound.
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
MK you are like all my male theater and choir friends from high school. LOL I still know all the words to every song.
Anyway, WTF?? Have they not heard her sing? Lea Michelle is an annoying ass ho, but at least her annoying ho ass can actually sing. Taylor Swift will make our ears cry.
I refuse to believe that is Charlie Sheen!