B.I.C. (Blue Ivy Carter) Is Already A Recording Star

Submitted by shandi on Mon, 01/09/2012 - 9:28pm.

And this man does not have a good voice. Not for songs, at least.
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But his face is made for the radio!

"I thought he had other kids....She was his greatest creation? Asshole"

Well, maybe he means "creation" as in "total fiction."

The lady doth protest too much, methinks. Who does their PR? Do they think we're all morons?

Sarah Smile

These comments are KILLING me. So funny!

Sarah Smile

There is too much detail in this song, they want you to say, oh, when was she in Paris and google it and see the dates match up, its obvious. When people give all these details and throw in the TRUTH that she probably has a history of miscarriages and maybe cant carry, for whatever reasons. They may have lots of money, but that sure as fuck does not buy you intelligence.

Submitted by sillykat on Mon, 01/09/2012 - 4:46pm.
Sandbitch, you didn't get the necessary props for this hilariousness:

Can't believe he ommitted:

"you bald just like yo mama"
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Thanks for the laugh this morning.

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"Oh no, no, no, sweet baby. They're gonna eat you alive in Hollywood. Oh you're definitely going to end up doing gay porn with this tiny little body of yours" -Sweet Dee

LOLnatUsillyH0es = basement baby, earning her daily crusts by trolling gossip sites.

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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

awww what a lovely tribute to your baby daughter.

No class.

Not sure whose grammar and spelling is worse, Jay Z or LOLnatUsillyH0es. Either way, can't understand a thing those ignorant bitches are trying to say. It's a shame ignorant people continue to reproduce.

Somebody had a baby, big fucking deal. 10 Trillion people have done it before you.

post after post from disgruntled fat bitches. lol stop shoveling shit in your mouth and acting like Beyonce MADE you eat those deep fried, cream filled, smothered in gravy and chocolate snack cakes with your mandatory 24 oz diet coke (btw... why do you lot drink diet Coke? seriously...)

LOL eat less. exercise more. drink water. smoke a joint.

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Beyonce obviously Jessica Simpson-ized 1 of her pics by running it thru the FatBooth app, then she Photoshopped it over the background of a Vancouver department store and leaked it herself! *CLOWNED!*

of course your fat ass couldn't walk after birthin out those hippos. Girl calm down. Every woman don't put their body on SWOLL when pregnant. And every woman that just gave birth don't keep their fat lazy asses glued to a mattress expecting someone to wait on them hand n hoof while simultaneously believing the baby weight just gone "fall off" by thinking real hard.

pfft.. the nerve....

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Beyonce obviously Jessica Simpson-ized 1 of her pics by running it thru the FatBooth app, then she Photoshopped it over the background of a Vancouver department store and leaked it herself! *CLOWNED!*

your momma said that you danced for her..
did you wiggle your hands for her

(clearly a shout out to the Single Ladies phenom none of you were able to escape no matter how hard you tried)

you was made in Paris
your momma woke up the next day and shot her album package

(the accompanying photos for Bey's album 4. now I understand the wild tousled bed hair lol)

yasssss Hov! awl my Beyonce, such a trooper. WE LOVE YOU BEY!!!!

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Beyonce obviously Jessica Simpson-ized 1 of her pics by running it thru the FatBooth app, then she Photoshopped it over the background of a Vancouver department store and leaked it herself! *CLOWNED!*

First off, every new daddy, poor or rich feels like their lil one is the greatest. Secondly, there is no way this song is for sale because it's PURE GARBAGE! Mai chod, that's mofo in Hindi. Congrats, bitch.

They simply should've kept their mouths shut. So Beyonce had a miscarriage before yet still works like crazy in the critical first three months....yeah.

I thought this was kinda sweet until I realized that he has another kid. What a slap in the face to the other one!

I don't think she was faking the pregnancy. Personally I watched the "belly folding video" and don't see what others see. I see her bending over a bit, her shirt ballooning out and the TOP folding in a bit, not the belly. I think it's an awful lot of trouble to go through to lie about it. She definitely gained weight (did you see her face?) regardless.

That said, I think their behavior during the time of the birth was reprehensible. I understand wanting privacy, but they had no right to inconvenience other people.

BARF

Also, I listened to all of this crap. A lot of the lyrics are missing from what MK posted. Also, this 'song' is pure crap. I guess now you can just say words to music, with absolutely no rhythm or flow and it is just music? What a load of crap. And this man does not have a good voice. Not for songs, at least.

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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK

Anyone else think they were originally planning on naming this kid Glory?

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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK

She probably *could* do a very tame performance (like, just singing) five weeks after giving birth either naturally or C-section, but WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO? Honestly, I think it's because she's itching for more approval and attention.

After the natural birth of my first, I could barely walk for a week. (The second and third births and recoveries were 900% easier, though.) Your body's center of gravity has changed AGAIN and your ligaments have to tighten up again after all that relaxin has loosened them. Your ab muscles (even if you did a special exercise regimen like I did) have to shrink back and knit together down the middle. Your innards fall back to where they belong. Childbirth is a shock to the system - it's natural and all that, but it's a huge adjustment to make.

Now add to that, an incision and antibiotics, etc.

But that's assuming Beyonce DID actually carry a baby. Which I don't believe she did.

So she's gonna give a wild, athletic performance and people are going to think she's Superwoman.

*side-eye*

Makes sense about Paris though... while visiting Jay's other kid, Beyonce got jealous and wanted to spawn her own, thus hiring a surrogate to do the dirty work for her.

"Did you wiggle your HANDS for her” Think Single Ladies dance! Sheesh! Love the song!

I'm confused. I thought Lainey had a witness who said he/she saw the baby come out of Bewolf. If that is the case, wouldn't he/she know the difference between a c-section and a vaginal birth? This story is getting freakier and freakier.

Worst.fucking.lyrics.ever

"The ocean is your emotion"-Gary Busey

The most amazing feeling I feel
Words can't describe what I'm feeling for real
Pillow in my wife's tummy
Beyonce makes the hottest mommy

False alarms and false starts
Pillows that fucking flew part
All the pain of the last time
That pillow squished on prime time
Your mama said you folded for her
Why couldn't you withhold for her?

Glory!

Blue Waffle Carter.

I thought he had other kids....She was his greatest creation? Asshole

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I want you to get on them fat chubby knees and take muh manhood in to your sugarwalls!-Early Cuyler -Squidbillies-

Douchebags.

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"If I had a gun, I'd shoot a hole into the sun, and love would burn this city down for you. If I had the time, I'd stop the world and make you mine,and everyday would stay the same with you."

I find it very odd that all of a sudden NOW, not earlier today, NOT yesterday, they decide to correct the media and tell everyone she had a "natural" birth. Bish please. They are saying that now because info was coming out about how Bey's people have contacted the Grammy's and asked if they had a spot for her to perform and the public is saying that after a C section, she wouldn't be able to put on one of her typical shows in 6" heels and flipping her wig as usual. It would be more believable if she got on stage 5 weeks after natural childbirth. Bitch be lyin! lol

These two STUNT QUEENS have been pulling STUNT QUEEN stunts their whole damn life. I am so over these two I don't know what in the world to do. I knew the SECOND she showed up at that award show that she was pulling stunts. I don't have anything witty to say because those two girls just really piss me off!

Submitted by mastixa on Mon, 01/09/2012 - 4:21pm.

I sort of can't wait until his other child grows up and releases a tell-all where we find out he actually has 10 kids or something and he recorded the same song for each of them changing a few lyrics to meet the kid's identity. Lifetime movie in the making.

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Yeah, you don't hear a lot of tunes about THAT kid, do ya? Pathetic.
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This episode brought to you by the letter SHUTUP.

Umm, WHY is he a millionaire again? He's a lyricist of the lowest order.

And don't you actually have to perform on a song to be "featured"? Sheeit.
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This episode brought to you by the letter SHUTUP.

If it wasn't for that damn belly folding...I'd say fuck all the fake pregnancy conspiracies–but we all know, whether you haven't been prego before or your a man, that a pregnant belly DOESN'T fucking fold!

I tell you, I don't wanna not like B + J (haha) but this baby business is making it really hard. Besides, your daughter isn't even 3 days old, and you decide you just have to go lay down a track in the studio? Really??

I think hanging with GOOP is rubbing off some flakes of arrogance off on the Carters.
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*~*ღ ✾✻ Follow @JustineIsBitchn ✻✾ ღ*~*

@CarmenElectrical He said "shot her album package". Beyonce took pictures for her album the day after they fucked and made Pillow Carter. I'm sure she'll love to know that when she's older.

I had made a comment about Beyonce probably having a miscarriage, which prompted her into using a surrogate. I was right about the first thing. Let's see if I'm right about the other...

"Did you wiggle your ass for her?
Glory!"

Seriously, what the fuck?

UGH!...these stupid famewhores. A damn song...already? really??

As for them keeping parents from seeing their babies in the NICU...I have a big ol FUCK YOU for those two and their greediness. I had babies in the NICU when they were born and no stupid fake birthing twat would be able to keep me from seeing them. All this crap makes me hate them more and more.

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Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!!!

I think this about sums it up:

[BlindGossip] This couple is seriously out of touch. They think that everyone should love and admire them, even when they lie and behave arrogantly. So they are genuinely surprised when their own missteps cause bad publicity.

How to quiet the haters? Their publicist has the answer! In an emergency meeting with the couple, the publicist told them to play the victim. So, to turn this situation around, they will be very quickly and consciously releasing news of past hardships to elicit sympathy. How could anyone pick on such wonderful people who have worked so hard and suffered so much to get where they are today? Shame on all you haters out there! You’re all just jelly!
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And YES I am a shameless blind gossip whore. I KNOW.
But if Beyonce really had a miscarriage or not, they should both still be ashamed. There is nothing wrong with adopting or using a surrogate. Don't lie about it and act all PG super hero bitch, when everyone knows the truth.

He's just got a major case of "new daddy" with the, so no hate. I'll save the hate for 10 years from now when Blue Ivy is being presented as the second coming of Willow "My parents are famous" Smith.
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami

I had a C section 6 months ago. The first month has you in the "csearian slouch" where your slightly bent over at the waist. If this bitch is even standing and walking upright let alone dancing the jig is DEFINATELY up.

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"What bakery is this?"
"Zed's Bread baby, Zed's Bread."

This song is wrong on so many levels. Ugh...wait til Baby Blue finds out she was made in Paris...TMI Daddy Z...TMI and wtf - how do you shout out the package??

Now I have NEVER liked Jay Z and I love hiphop (not hipPOP) but I swear all this negative energy is just gonna feed the beast that is the Carter family. They will just get stronger and nastier, I'm calling it best to just ignore.

he better put in a verse about the plastic surgery bill, the new nose, the bleached skin, causes baby, if this baby looks even a little like you, you better keep some aside for the plastic surgeon...now can we stop faking it already, give props to the surrogate, and quit pretending this fake ass bitch was preggers for even one second...they are starting to irritate me, they act like they are the only people ever to become parents...grrr...I hope the father with the preemies sues their pretentious asses. Such fake ass phonies.

I thought they were private? Got the song all ready and errthang. Private unless theres a ulterior motive. Over this.

I like their music and all but did you wiggle your ass for her is so ridiculous.

Submitted by sillykat on Mon, 01/09/2012 - 4:46pm.

Sandbitch, you didn't get the necessary props for this hilariousness:

Can't believe he ommitted:

"you bald just like yo mama"

---Yeah I totally agree!

They are such famewhores. I can't believe they outdid Mariah in the baby famewhore department. As much as I didn't like them before I thought they were classier, but this is just tacky.

I LOL'ed so hard and loud at the last sentence. I will never look @ a BIC lighter while I'm smoking a blunt the same ever again. Well damn.

I have to say that this gives me a new respect for Nick and Mariah, b/c I think those two were genuine in their excitement and wanted to share it with others.

This is nasty.

Ugggggh. Ok, so now it's obvious why Blue IS her first name? Just so they could call her "lil B."

Sandbitch, you didn't get the necessary props for this hilariousness:

Can't believe he ommitted:

"you bald just like yo mama"