Has It Really Come To This, George?
So you're Jason Alexander and in the 90s you bathed in freshly printed hundred dollar bills that NBC gave you for starring in one of the biggest TV hits since It's A Living! (Yes, it was a gigantic hit. Ann Jillian was in it so all arguments are invalid.) Cut to present day, you're still Jason Alexander and you find yourself with a dead thirsty sloth on your head and an iPhone in your hand that you're using to grope the lizard balls on a 17-year-old medicated iguana goddess in a way too long skit for Funny or Die. My question is, do you tell yourself that Michael Richards doesn't have it so bad before or after you cut open your skull, remove your brain and dip it into liquid acid to erase the Courtmares smeared all over it?
Or maybe I'm totally wrong and George is actually into this in a "Why is something jumping up and down on your crotch underneath your trench coat, creepy dude on the subway?" kind of way. Now I'm the one who's going to need to de-courtmare my brain.
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Does Jason Alexander actually grope her goods? If so, he is still guilty of sexual contact with a minor. Just because she is 'legally married' does not automatically make her a legal adult, and age of consent in California is still 18. It is legal for grandpappy strokeface to touch her no-no places, but not for just anyone who wants a grope.
And why is it you cannot contact those dumbfucks at 'Funny or Die"---the fucking contact page comes up in a way that you can't get to the bottom to send your comments. Fuck Will Ferrell. Fuck him in his dumb, unfunny ass. AND all his cohorts in this stupid example of dumbfuckery!
I won't even attempt to watch it. Not only is she dumb as a rock, but she is rude, obnoxious, and snotty as fuck. On the previous entry about this whorechild, I copied a series of e-mails sent back and forth between her and someone from her hometown who was previously a supporter. Asked how she got her career started, whorechild claimed, "I sucked dick, duh!" The remaining e-mails were just as childish and stupid. This is the same e-mail Doug claimed was hacked when the DJ who, for some stupid reason, wanted to promote Courtney's 'music career', wrote them about having them come in, and Courtney wrote back, "We want 3 million dollars to appear". When the DJ said they couldn't afford that, she was saying stupid crap like, "We want money" "too bad", etc. You know she is not the one writing those stupid alliterative tweets, nor her sexualized misquotations of biblical passages.
It may be because i've always been a Seinfeld fanatic, but I LOL'D at this. I don't care for Courtney, and I do think she's on some hella good meds, but this was funny as hell if you watch it the whole way through!
I thought it was pretty funny actually.
I laughed.
But poor Courtney...I think she's clueless about how she got punked by JA AND her husband.
I don't get it, is it supposed to be funny because they're pretending Jason Alexander is attracted to women?
I couldn't get past the first minute. I was embarrassed for all of them -- especially JA.
As for job, I just got laid off from an absolutely miserable one; but wish I had it rather than looking for an new one. This sucks.
Dlisted is my sanity relief between online job applications. Ugh.
I'd say his hairline looks very funny!
"The only money shot you'll get is a load of tears to the face." MK
Next time I eat too much and need to purge, I'll play this clip.
I don't know what the hell that was I just watched.
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Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!!!
I couldn't make it past the first minute and a half - that's just painful, not to mention embarrassing.
Submitted by Puppy Love on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 7:34pm.
I don't get why Jason Alexander hasn't fared better--he was the best comic actor of the bunch, even when he morphed into Angry George and started screaming his lines during the last few seasons of the show.
I wonder if it had anything to do with him losing weight, and losing his "look".
i have a feeling courtney smells like vagina...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
So I guess without Larry David's words, he's just... that.
Not funny at all. Has it really come to this Jason? I thought you were better than this. Really, really sad.
This must be the new trend; a la Kardashian, and all reality tv trash ad nauseum.
!Shock & awe!
The more debased, the better. Anti-moral characters reign.
What is this fuckery? Creepy. It's like a bad skit from the 60s.
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Dale Doback: Okay, here's the shot out of the cannon: Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one, go!
Submitted by CheeryBitch on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 9:57pm.
You're in Dallas, right LaChaylo? Probably saw this on today's news... spouse works for MetLife, who just closed their mortgage unit. UGH. Job hunt begins. I'm just now getting back to work (contract stuff, so nothing set and nothing guaranteed). Yuck.
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Cheery, I did see that this morning. So sorry! That really bites - I read over 800 people lost their jobs. I'll be sending you good vibes, too, hon. Makes me wonder who the hell lives in those fancy condos and houses, because holy hell, this job market here sucks.
Jason Alexander plays smarmy and sleazy too well, this is the same character he played in Pretty Woman. Unfunny. I agree, Doug is a sad charicature of himself, it's pathetic to see how he has thrown his career away to be this girl's coat catcher. Like Bruce dur Jenner, what is wrong with these men??
I had to turn it off when he was about to examine her breasts. Truly revolting.
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"The universe is made of stories, not atoms."
Muriel Rukeyser, poet
Duuurrrrrr, double post.
Submitted by LaChaylo on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 8:22pm.
Bizarrelife, I you sure we don't work together, love? I'm on Linkedin, got on the other day and saw classmates from grad school in really kick ass positions and I'm in a crappy ass position.
Positive vibes to you and all of the other career/job challenged Dlisters.
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You're in Dallas, right LaChaylo? Probably saw this on today's news... spouse works for MetLife, who just closed their mortgage unit. UGH. Job hunt begins. I'm just now getting back to work (contract stuff, so nothing set and nothing guaranteed). Yuck.
No, but I wonder! Our experiences are SO similar. Hell, another day!
Positive vibes to all of you.
No, but I wonder! Our experiences are SO similar. Hell, another day!
Positive vibes to all of you.
No, but I wonder! Our experiences are SO similar. Hell, another day!
Positive vibes to all of you.
I couldn't even watch the video to the end. She is so awful!
the money and energy that went into making this should've been redirected into cancer research.
the old exploitive creep and his cartoonish 'teenage' seductress aren't even funny stoned.
Oop, there go my bowels again. I hate these dummies.
Wow. It's almost embarrassing how unfunny this is.
It's amazing how Doug, once a gifted character actor, just sits there looking dead inside.
Submitted by misslainey on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 8:20pm.
Submitted by unemployed_bum on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 8:03pm.
misslainey, does accounting still use dot matrix printers for the spreadsheets?
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We have 10 year old laser printers. We did recently upgrade to Windows 7 which caused a lot of problems.
The funny and ironic thing is that we've won awards for being the most digitally advanced locality in our size.
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I once got fired after 5 days at a job for making fun of a manager using a dot matrix printer. That's something to put on a resume.
Bizarrelife, I you sure we don't work together, love? I'm on Linkedin, got on the other day and saw classmates from grad school in really kick ass positions and I'm in a crappy ass position.
Positive vibes to you and all of the other career/job challenged Dlisters. ~~~~
Submitted by unemployed_bum on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 8:03pm.
misslainey, does accounting still use dot matrix printers for the spreadsheets?
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We have 10 year old laser printers. We did recently upgrade to Windows 7 which caused a lot of problems.
The funny and ironic thing is that we've won awards for being the most digitally advanced locality in our size.
Yeah he's into it. Some guys have no taste like that
misslainey, does accounting still use dot matrix printers for the spreadsheets?
Submitted by Bizzarelife on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 6:59pm.
@misslainey,
NO way! I work in civil service. What a strange bunch of weirdos. I have never seen this level of weirdness or bureaucracy. So odd. The only thing I like about it is the holidays - we get those "odd" holidays off like Columbus Day. Otherwise, UGGGH.
I just wish my own organization was not so nutso in the brain. Most management officials have no earthly clue how to manage. The org really focuses on things that dont make sense.
I hope to win the lottery...check!
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I thought it was just me for the longest time, but then I realized everyone else is crazy. Most of them have been there since the dawn of time and cannot think outside of their bureaucratic box. I mean you cannot have a thought there unless you have a meeting to discuss it first. I am not lying when I say we have pre-meetings to discuss meetings. Don't even get me started on my boss who gave a co-worker a half gallon of his homemade salsa for Christmas. This after we'd spent all summer and fall with him bringing in pints and quarts of it, with inocuous labels like 'No. 10'. We then had to discuss which of them we liked best based on the various combinations of spices etc. he made it with. I've been there 4 years but it feels like 20. When I started, they were using Word Perfect and Lotus! Who uses that? Like, I learned WP in an elective class I took 25 years ago. I didn't even know it still existed. Accounting does not have accounting software, they still use Lotus spreadsheets. Lotus! And everything is tied to this mainframe system that I don't think IBM supports anymore. Hell, does IBM still exist? I guess in local government it does. And the politics. God, just shoot me now.
Tell me about it. I am always surprised by the way they behave. You will email people and request info, and the email will never be answered. I have had my fill of the bashing and rudeness!
When I first came here, they were using DOS based systems. You have to type commands! I cannot believe how ancient everything is, even the people.
All anyone can talk about is retirement. Some will even keep a running calendar on their desk as a countdown to retirement. It is like hating your job is the norm!
It is definitely NOT you - the environment is just crazy.
Not sad. Pathetic,
Sad. Just...sad.
Submitted by mike on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 6:27pm.
Submitted by Bizzarelife on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 6:09pm.
I know this is really off topic...
Does anyone else totally hate their job? I never envisioned this mess.
I hate my job, and I have a rather cushy position, so don't feel guilty.
Can you say in a general sense what you do? I have more than once put it out that I am a therapist. What do you do?
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 07/08/2009 - 5:00pm.
Karen Flatts is always a cunt
Hello...
I work in a finance position. Lots of stress. I think it is mostly the disrespectful non-encouraging environment that brings everyone down.
I wouldn't be surprised if he is broke. A lot of celebs can't manage their millions worth a damn.
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
Submitted by misslainey on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 7:36pm.
LMAO @ the gay parakeets!
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You know, I always think of that woman when MK writes ESCANDALOSO! Because her exact words were "I have to tell you something, it's SO SCANDALOUS!!!" She spent way, way, way too much time watching the private business of those birds LOL
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
Wow! Crazy. Those people are nutty. We have some crazy ones.
The lady that literally wears a tracksuit everyday....the fat lady that actually broke a toilet...the crazy boss that threatened my former co worker at church!
It's just amazing. If I do not get off this funny farm, I will be just as bad as the rest of them!
Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 7:10pm.
@Bizarrelife-
OMG! I used to work in civil service, too. The people there were crazy, especially the ones who'd been there a long time. People smeared shit on the walls of both the men's and ladies' rooms. One old lady insisted that an old man was trying to run her over in the parking lot and pulled a kitchen knife on him on Christmas Eve. We also had a 60-year-old cat/church lady secretary who thought her two male parakeets were gay because she found an egg at the bottom of their cage.
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LMAO @ the gay parakeets!
that's the straightest her pimp-daddy-hubs has come off
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Tonight I'm feeling to make you enjoy with a blowjob/I want to feel in my throat
luscious_t requests asylum from Hollywood star whackers
This was so boring I turned it off about the halfway mark.
In fairness, both JLD and Jerry Stiller have had decent careers post-Seinfeld. JLD won a Best Actress GG for "The New Adventures of Old Christine" and JS had a good long run on "The King of Queens." He also probably makes a ton in endorsement fees.
I don't get why Jason Alexander hasn't fared better--he was the best comic actor of the bunch, even when he morphed into Angry George and started screaming his lines during the last few seasons of the show.
I'm convinced MK only likes posting about this girl/woman/joke because he loves typing the work iguana. Iguana. Iguana. Porn Iguana.
It's the curse. Jerry is a Scientologist, Michael is a racist, Julia is an annoying shrunken head, Jerry Stiller is Ben Stiller's dad and now Jason is an iguana goddess groper.
How the mighty fall. It's almost inimaginable that ten years ago Jason was starring in Shallow Hal alongside Gwyneth Paltrow in a fat suit.
If this is the best that Court and her peepaw pimp can do, then it will be over soon.
What is funny about this? JA is gross. I never did like him. But my god, have some pride man.when will their fifteen minutes be up? Please let it be soon.