Lock Up Your Female Disney Teen Stars
Wilmer Valderrama's got his eye on you, Chris Hansen.
The exit door to Mickey Mouse's rehab center for the teen stars he helped to screw up now has a regular fixture named Wilmer Valderrama in front of it. Wilmer is available for any damaged barely legal teen star who needs a 31-year-old nutsack to cry on ("...and while you're there" - Wilmer). Because E! News says that after humping on each other for about a year, 19-year-old Demi Lovato has taken her final ride on Wilmer's self-proclaimed XXL chalupa dick. Demi might've confirmed this highly important breaking news on Twitter when she turned into the Emo of Anistons by re-Tweeting a Marilyn Monroe quote before Tweeting a few words of encouragement for herself:
"A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left." Marilyn MonroeThe smartest thing a woman can ever learn, is to never need a man.
In other words, bitch got too old for Fez.
(Image via Pacific Coast News)
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I would hit Wilmer's XXL chalupa. I mean, I'd have to wrap it in industrial thickness Saran Wrap first but I would.
Ugh he is so creepy! He always goes after teenage girls
www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous
i wanna say this dude is hot, i know he likes teen fetuses and i find that all sorts of douchey...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
I would ride Wilmer's cock so hard!
well... there are more direct ways to say you dated an awful piece of shit that you were emotionally dependent on, i guess.
Blargh. This guy is so skeezy, and his character on 70s Show sucked.
And while I sympathize with Demi Lovato--it appears that she has a lot of issues--she is one obnoxious moron on her Twitter account. Her handlers need to keep her away from that shiz.
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
Submitted by Bree on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 5:57pm.
Co-sign! The "nerd culture" references are funny, especially if you're in it! I'm a(n) M.E., and thought I was sort of cool...until I realized how much I have in common with the characters on the show, hahaha :) My favorite episode by far is Sheldon in the ball pit! Oh yeah, I forgot to mention earlier in reference to the actual topic of this thread, Valderrama is the epitome of nasty, and looks like someone that might be sticky if I touched him. Loathsome.
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"Joe Perry, you are a man of many colors. But I, motherfucker, am the rainbow!”~Steven Tyler
Ugh. What is wrong with these girls? Besides his radio trash-talking of Mandy Moore, he just seems to ooze douche.
I guess I'm one of the few who liked That 70s Show, mostly because of Eric and his parents - the drunk nurse mom and cranky dad who threatened to kick everyone's ass.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
Submitted by Gaby on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 5:23pm.
Hahaha I totally agree. I guess it's one of those things where you have to be a part of it to truly love it. My hubby is a mechanical engineer and has nerdy friends so he and I get a kick out of it. Especially the episode where they make fun of Howard because everybody is a "Dr." and Howard will always be a "Mr." Also the Halo and WoW episodes were spot on which is super funny for an ex-addict!
Submitted by mbar on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 1:46pm.
I also hated "That 70's Show". But it has been replaced by an even greater evil: "The Big Bang Theory". Big Bang Theory is the stupidest show of all time. I'm assuming shallow/fake people like it. It's just five generic looking people shooting one-liners back and forth while living in an apartment and wearing Target's finest.
Bazinga mbar! TBBT is a great show! Especially if you're a science person (I'm an engineer) and very funny if you know a bunch of nerds (or in my case, if you are a nerd), the fact is it's about 4 supernerds that have somehow managed to befriend a pretty girl. Their trips to the comic book store, obsessions with videogames, and overall social awkwardness are all things associated with STEM majors, as well as a general feeling of superiority (no matter how misguided). I attend one of the best engineering schools in the country and still find Sheldon's digs at Howard hilarious! Plus Jim Parsons is sex on two legs! :)
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"Joe Perry, you are a man of many colors. But I, motherfucker, am the rainbow!”~Steven Tyler
Whatta Limpdickuser! Valderrama looks like a jerk! Anyone mouthfucking with an Open eye looking for PAP, is not into it AT ALL, FAIL!
"The only money shot you'll get is a load of tears to the face." MK
Forget everything else about him...his name is WILMER. If there's a more creepy, pedo bear name out there, I'd like to hear it. I really don't think I could eff any guy named WILMER, no matter how many grilled stuffed burritos he's packin'.
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 3:19pm.
Bree - yeah, I get she doesn't know the meaning of the song...maybe.
But a 5 year old in a night club? Give me a fucking break. I don't care if it was for Charity or not.
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ITA, that just screams all kinds of inappropriate to me. And honestly, if I was in a nightclub, would I want to see a tiny tot in there anyway? That's not why I go to clubs....I know there are already creepers who perv on these little beauty pageants and that's sick as it is, but if you're bringing your 5 year old into night clubs you're only encouraging the creeps. IDK, it's just 12 kinds of wrong to me.
Bree - yeah, I get she doesn't know the meaning of the song...maybe.
But a 5 year old in a night club? Give me a fucking break. I don't care if it was for Charity or not.
Ok when i was 18 I "dated" a man who was 28, i say "dated" because it was basically a sex thing,there were always parties at his house so we never went out, the only thing we had in common (besides sex) was talking about music and movies, but that was it,
It wasnt a total waste of time though, he did teach me some amazing things in the bedroom, so there is an advantage to doing Ho-shit with an older man
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I wish I had multiple Alts, that way I won't be so lonely when I'm talking to myself
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 12:49pm.
Honestly the song doesn't bother me...kids sing all kinds of funny/cute/inappropriate shit that we film for YouTube and laugh at...what bothers me is that she's in a nightclub. Uh, why?
I think he's hideous and a shitty actor (I always hated that show). I like BBT because Sheldon is a lot like the geeks I know and hang out with, so I can relate (the social awkwardness, sense of superiority, etc.). To each his own, I guess.
I still think Wilmer is disgusting for spilling all the details of his sex life with Mandy Moore on Howard Stern. He's a pig.
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 12:49pm.
Off topic -
Toddlers and Tiera's needs to be banned:
http://www.tmz.com/2012/01/11/isabella-barrett-toddlers-and-tiaras-night...
sick, sick, sick.
and what's up with this thirty one year old chasing a nineteen year old. where the fuck are her parents? busy whoring her out, I assume.
if my nineteen year old came home with a thirty one year old man, there'd be blood on the walls, trust.
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Don't stand on my tits, bitch!
oh demi, demi, demi....
first trace and now fez...
gurl get off the blohan train already...
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Submitted by cprincess on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 1:47pm.
DO NOT, and I repeat DO NOT put the deliciousness that is Edgar Ramirez in the same category as Grossness Valeramawhateverthefuckhisnameis! The only thing they have in common is Venezuela!
Can you just imagine how hard this naive girl is crying right now? She is emotionally fragile and I think she would have had a breakdown regardless of her job at Disney. And I HATE admitting this but... back in the day when he was with Lindsay Lohan (taking her to clubs, getting her drunk, all with the blessings of mama Dina, dontchaknow), I actually thought he was a fine ass piece of Latino man meat. He was too old for her too. Yah, I know, what was I thinking?!? He's gross, like, for sure!
I DONT KNOW-ISNT HE VENEZUELAN -IVE KIND OF GOT A THING FOR HOT LITTLE VENEZUELAN BOYS EVER SINCE EDGAR RAMIREZ!
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
I also hated "That 70's Show". But it has been replaced by an even greater evil: "The Big Bang Theory". Big Bang Theory is the stupidest show of all time. I'm assuming shallow/fake people like it. It's just five generic looking people shooting one-liners back and forth while living in an apartment and wearing Target's finest.
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 1:22pm.
This guys MO in women screams two things. 1) I SUCK in bed and these youngins won't know any better. 2) I have the maturity of a 12 year old.
These young ladies (as long as they are legal) can have him. Ick. Nast
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Yup...or something more sinister: master manipulator and/or abusive tendencies and/or control issues and/or insecurity and on and on.
Hide yo' daughters, hide yo' sisters, hide yo' nieces!
Submitted by elmo533 on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 1:24pm.
What is it with all these young whores sucking on Marilyn's decomposed tits as if pearls of wisdom are going to come out? Did they not read the rest of her story? Married and divorced twice, mistress of many including three IN THE SAME FAMILY, and ODing on pill naked and alone. THIS is a beacon of wisdom?!?!
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But, elmo, Marilyn was, like, super pretty! And she didn't get all old and stuff. (Ew!) So she had to be doing something right!
=D
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. –michelleb
Submitted by LisaRose on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 12:43pm.
To all teenage girls out there who feel so grown up and mature..... if an older guy wants to date you, he is only after one thing. Walk quickly away...
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Exactly. @ 19 I seriously questioned and felt insulted by every man that was attracted to me over the age of 23. The older they were the more blatantly apparent it was that they were only after one thing,because seriously wtf does a 19 and 31 year old have in common?
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@Datura- YES! That stupid voice! ARGH! I hated his character the most, but I hated EVERY character to be honest.
@Muddy- So glad I have company in hating that stupid show! The few times I was forced to watch, I wondered why was I the only one NOT laughing!?
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 1:06pm.
Am I the only one who thought That 70's Show sucked ass? I hated that show.
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I hated that show too. And Pedo-rama's "acting" consisted of doing a silly voice. A real talent.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. –michelleb
What is it with all these young whores sucking on Marilyn's decomposed tits as if pearls of wisdom are going to come out? Did they not read the rest of her story? Married and divorced twice, mistress of many including three IN THE SAME FAMILY, and ODing on pill naked and alone. THIS is a beacon of wisdom?!?!
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"I bet his crotch looks like an uncooked dough cigar lying on a bed of saffron" MK
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 12:49pm.
Okay, how in short person hell is that even legal?
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
This guys MO in women screams two things. 1) I SUCK in bed and these youngins won't know any better. 2) I have the maturity of a 12 year old.
These young ladies (as long as they are legal) can have him. Ick. Nast.
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
@citizenstrange
I've never heard of a husband ordering his wife shoes. What an attentive gift! Your lady is lucky.
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"We are here on earth to do good for others.
What the others are here for, I don't know."
W.H. Auden
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 12:31pm.
that's nice that he's on a kid's show now, makes it easier for him when he goes to daycare to look for his next girlfriend
hahahahahaha word UP
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"The English are horrible and Oprah is a moron." 01/10/12 the refined Brit, clairey claire
The girls are just conquests on some deranged list. Checking off celebrity names on his spank bank list before he gets thrown in jail for being pedo. Ladies, wise up. Stay away from this cesspool.
OFF TOPIC --- please feel free to delete if inappropriate
For the ladies of dlisted ---- Just FYI
diesel shoes $20 ---- free shipping ----- normally $80
I got my wife the gray pair for Christmas and she absolutely LOVES them.
http://www.ebay.com/itm/230717569752?ssPageName=STRK%3AMEWNX%3AIT&_trksi...
I am not connected to this in ANY way .... I just wanted to pass on a great deal.
*sits next to EC with the remote*
I HATE that show. It makes me want to gag.
Am I the only one who thought That 70's Show sucked ass? I hated that show.
Fez will never have to work again if he gets residuals from the 70's show every time it airs. Seems every time I turn on the TV and flip channels an episode is on...
Another ray of sunshine quote from Marilyn. She's the Billie Holliday for the younger set. Self fulfilling prophecy...prejudge that all men are bad, continue choosing creeps, it all works out! If a nice, respectful guy with something to offer comes your way, dismiss him immediately and laugh him off as a boring loser.
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..."suspicious looking local".
It's Fez y'all, don't hate.
And since it just so happens to be on topic, here's Fez breaking up with the DMV floozie:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrMEmxn4C4k
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You got a lot of money, but you can't afford the freeway
...never need a man?!
Bitch you are 19, last year was the first year legally you did not require a babysitter.
damn kids....GET OFF MAH LAWN!
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The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
These broken druggie sluts need to stop making Marilyn Monroe out to be some philosopher.
I liked Fez on That 70's Show, but he's pervy and fucked up fo sho.
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Douchechill!
Off topic -
Toddlers and Tiera's needs to be banned:
http://www.tmz.com/2012/01/11/isabella-barrett-toddlers-and-tiaras-night...
Fucking disgusting.
by the way, he's gross.
That aint Drake?
Submitted by LisaRose on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 12:43pm.
To all teenage girls out there who feel so grown up and mature..... if an older guy wants to date you, he is only after one thing. Walk quickly away...
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WORD.
Why does everybody quote Marilyn Monroe as if she was a shining beacon of wisdom? Pretty sure she had a borderline personality disorder and died in a haze of pills and loneliness so I'd hardly follow her advice on things that matter.
He looks like hes sucking out her insides.
To all teenage girls out there who feel so grown up and mature..... if an older guy wants to date you, he is only after one thing. Walk quickly away...
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www.dungeonhordes.com
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