The Whole Family's Going To Therapy
In a court room in L.A. yesterday, a judge watched as two pretty faces slowly contorted into every layer of crazy as Gabriel Aubrey and Halle Berryberrycrazee tried to turn down their own insanity while discussing the custody of their daughter Nahla. A hearing was called last week after Nahla's nanny accused Gabriel of pushing her during an argument. Halle asked the court to temporarily take away Gabriel's visitation rights until the whole "nanny beating" thing cleared up. The judge didn't do that, but after a long ass meditation hearing, they all agreed to do the following:
- Gabriel will go to anger management classes where he'll learn that every time he feels like he wants to rage at a trick, he needs to stop, drop his panties and roll on over to the nearest webcam to give all of us a show.
- Halle will continue her own therapy sessions, or she'll be framed for Gabriel's death and will be forced to spend the rest of her life in an insane asylum with an ugly-fied Penelope Cruz in a jacked up wig.
- Halle and Gabriel will regularly meet with a third party to calmly talk about how they should raise their child. The third party will be given one of those Hunger Games suicide pills just in case their sanity can't take facing a two-headed beast of lunacy.
- 3-year-old Nahla will also go to counseling.
- Gabriel wants the nanny fired, but the judge didn't make any decisions about that.
TMZ's source (who TOTALLY doesn't have the name Halle Berry in their BlackBerry under "client") claims that Gabriel was an uncooperative cunt plug during the entire hearing and getting him to agree to the stuff above was like pulling KFed away from the snack table.
It's nice that the judge is trying to work with them and everything, but does anybody really believe that these two nut bags will calmly discuss anything without trying to gnaw each other's pretty faces off? It's always the pretty ones, right? This is why sometimes it's best to go home with the ugly bitch at the bar. Sure, sucking on a pretty face is more fun, but you'll also run the risk of waking up to them screaming about how they hear a baby forming in your gut and they're going to take you to court for custody. Just slip Halle and Gabriel in a his and hers straitjacket, throw them in padded room and let that sand shovel raise Nahla instead. I mean, Nahla is looking at it like, "Yeah, you'll make a good mom."
Here's Halle, Nahla and Olivier Martinez playing on the beach this past weekend.
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Poor Nahla, in the middle this mess! Her little face is already scowling most of the time!! Argh grrrrrr. Halle is not thinking of her baby while she's busy fighting with Gabriel and this will surely make her a carbon copy of her cray-cray mother.
**Halle may you reap what you sow, 'till the very end. Your just dessert will be most deserved!!** Haha!
"But then as you're doing your thing, he's just laying there moaning like an old dog having a nightmare." MK
Agree with the post below. Halle has a history of craziness. Gabe most likely regrets the day he met her, but he obviously adores their child. It's a sad situation.
The only manipulative NUTBAG here is Halle. It's obvious to anyone with the emotional intelligence above a 15 year old. Of course she pisses him off. Christ, her constant stunts would make a peaceful vegetarian Buddhist monk slap at some spiders. He goes along with everything that he has been asked since she started the whole mess. And he is going along with this too cause he does want to lose his daughter. He probably knows sending his three year old to therapy is complete bullshit but will go along for the sake of harmony.
She has even tried to turn his model industry friends against him by making up crap. She wants him without any prospects or enough money, so then she can use that as well in front of the courts.
ooopsss..double post
ahh pretty people have problems too...yes they are psychos.
good to know that me and my plain john looks are fine because im NOT FUCKING CRAZY!!!
She seems like a kid owning bitch. She should have just gone to a sperm bank, she cannot keep any relationship. She has been beat up by a couple boyfriends but I have a feeling she deserved it. Why would he lose his temper with the nanny unless the nanny was trying to control his interaction with the child.
She seems like a kid owning bitch. She should have just gone to a sperm bank, she cannot keep any relationship. She has been beat up by a couple boyfriends but I have a feeling she deserved it. Why would he lose his temper with the nanny unless the nanny was trying to control his interaction with the child.
What a coincidence. The day before going to family court, Halle is seen playing at the beach with Nahla and the fatherly Olivier. I bet she's begging him to stick around until the custody battles have been settled, then he's allowed to go.
This is one of the many reasons I have no issue with women going to sperm banks. You want a kid? You can afford to have a kid? Don't drag some poor uneducated pretty guy into the mix just to dismiss him once his sperm did its job and get pissed when he actually wants to be a dad to the child. Pay an agency $300 for some juice, $20K for some IVF and raise that kid as a single mom: no custody drama... better for everyone.
Olivier appears to be good with the kid which is nice. But, it's gotta be tough for Gabriel to watch some other guy spend more time with his kid than he can.
*sits down with 3 year old*
Tell me about your childhood...
this is pathetic. it IS always the pretty people...
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
Bitch sucked the hot out of Olivier Martinez...I thought it was an old James Franco.
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I'm countin' on Jesus at this point.
Yup. Martinez has a record of dumping chicks quite often, so I doubt Helley is a keeper for him. She might be pretty to look at, but she has way too many issues... he'll run faster than the roadrunner soon enough.
I would be angry too if I had to deal with a woman like Berry, so I don't blame Gabriel for flipping off. He's just human, not a fucking robot.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
Submitted by Sexecution on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 1:20pm.
Halle's a professional victim, and she just wants the sperm donor to go away now that she has her child. I think the guy is probably okay but has been driven mad, but at least he seems to lead a normal life. With her every relationship ends up with Halle getting a beat down and it can't always be the men are bad and she's *sniff* an angel/punching bag.
I'm glad the kid's getting counseling because she might have a chance of being normal. Hope that toxic Nanny gets the boot.
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Agreed. My sympathies are with Gabriel and Nahla. Does anyone else think that Olivier Martinez will jilt the drama mama,who will then say every bad thing she can think of about him?
poor nahla. batshit crazy mother who's now driving her father insane. hate halle. she's a horrible person and a crap actress (give that oscar back know beeyotch). olivier martinez CHOOSES to deal with this gigantic clusterfuck?
I started Therapy at 5 o6? preK due to depression (long story my parents are crappy) and they would lock in a room with a lot of toys to play, make me draw a family, ask me questions watch me play give me pills, you name it
I failed pre K due to depression I used to cry to sleep because I though my mother had abandoned me etc... but I was very bright
they even checked my brain waves, like I said my parents were crappy and i was a little artist who drew princesses so my mom thought that meant I was a lesbian, she also thought and told people I was retarded and that I would never be able to take care of myself, therefore the brain waves, the therapist said I was usually bright and used a lot of my brain, I guess is easier to say a child is retarded than to admit that you are abusing said child (no sexual abuse that I remenber, but anything physical and emotional, hide the bruises kinda shit)
so actually every time I went to therapy they asked an appt with my dad and he would pull me out (mad that they knew he needed help not me), then put me again because I was such a retard, and then again "she is bright and shy something is off with the father", so it does help.
"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma
Submitted by Hekki
I can totally see what Nahla's future is going to be.
Mom: "She's Mexican? Is she pretty like Mommy? Did she ever take the apron off? She brought the bucket of cleaning supplies to every room? How long was she in Daddy's bedroom? If she's there next time, I want you to look inside her purse, okay?"
OMG, you nailed this. Nasty child custody cases can make sane people nuts - and when people are fucking nuts to begin with? Ugh. Poor Nahla. We can only hope she doesn't get any half-brothers or sisters.
Submitted by urmomma on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 12:52pm.
What a couple of assholes.
Great job, MOM and DAD! I am 3 and in counseling and the COURT SYSTEM is invovlved. I am on record at the age of 3!well done. Wellfuckingdone.
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All of the above ^^^^^^^
Halle Berry/Gabriel Aubry = the new Dina and Michael Lohan.
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
just wait till Martinez moves on ... he's a man ho
the first thing id say to that who is get your ass on the right side of the traine tracts and thens wed be talking som business you fucking you ho fuking billing fcking whatever. i wanna talk some biusess and talk some fucking slap yuo8u know what you goddamn fuckking whatever.
Halle's a professional victim, and she just wants the sperm donor to go away now that she has her child. I think the guy is probably okay but has been driven mad, but at least he seems to lead a normal life. With her every relationship ends up with Halle getting a beat down and it can't always be the men are bad and she's *sniff* an angel/punching bag.
I'm glad the kid's getting counseling because she might have a chance of being normal. Hope that toxic Nanny gets the boot.
halle is a straight jacket away from the loonie bin. shes all sorts of screwed up in the head.
poor kid - 3 yr old & in therapy already.
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♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Hekki,
Did it ever get any better? I'm curious.
It's sad and uncomfortable. I really hate what people will do to get back at someone because they feel jilted.
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NO1CURR: LOL, that was my mother. Coming back from my dad's, it was like the Spanish Inquisition.
Granted, he had been a cheating, lying asshole to her when they were together, but it was really uncomfortable.
Funny thing is, he didn't give a shit what SHE did.
Then he got this girlfriend (who we TORMENTED, poor thing) who actually lived down the street from my our/my mom's house. We didn't tell her for YEARS because we knew what kind of trouble THAT would have been.
Submitted by girlfromipanema on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 1:07pm.
I'm in California. Hubby's ex has a way better lawyer than us ($$$) and you're correct, it's insanely difficult for the dad to get custody. It's awful. We haven't seen her in 8 months.
I know how party! way to bum everyone out. : (
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Submitted by NO1CURR on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 12:57pm.
speaking from experience, there are few things that are worse than going through an ugly custody case. I feel terrible for the poor 3 year old. My husband's ex is CRAZY, but unfortunately has more money than us, so we keep getting the shaft.
brb, gonna go drown my sorrows in kitten videos and valium. anyone care to join?
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Ain't that the truth. Though the money still doesn't matter in GA. My fiance has more than his ex, but to no avail. It's much harder for a father to get custody than a mother. I'll drown my sorrows with you in the good shit and whiskey.
Submitted by FreakGeek on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 12:45pm.
Been through that with my husband's ex. It all came back to bite her in the ass (now we have custody).
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I can't wait for the day my fiance wins sole custody! At least he got legal medical custody so he can take his daughter to a therapist should she need one, as her mother is completely against them but not against using her as a pawn or talking shit about me and my fiance in front of her. And, even at 20 months, my stepdaughter knows what's up. She learned my name before she learned "mama", asks for me all the time, and cries when she has to go back to her mother.
Hekki,
Not even kidding, my hubby's ex is like that. She would make our step daughter report to her anything and everything that happened if/when I was around-what I did, what I said, everything. Crazy.
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 1:02pm.
I can totally see what Nahla's future is going to be.
Mom: "She's Mexican? Is she pretty like Mommy? Did she ever take the apron off? She brought the bucket of cleaning supplies to every room? How long was she in Daddy's bedroom? If she's there next time, I want you to look inside her purse, okay?"
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Clearly I'm in the wrong profession. As a child therapist I'd be raking in the money from all the screwed up kids.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
I can totally see what Nahla's future is going to be.
Mom: "She's Mexican? Is she pretty like Mommy? Did she ever take the apron off? She brought the bucket of cleaning supplies to every room? How long was she in Daddy's bedroom? If she's there next time, I want you to look inside her purse, okay?"
speaking from experience, there are few things that are worse than going through an ugly custody case. I feel terrible for the poor 3 year old. My husband's ex is CRAZY, but unfortunately has more money than us, so we keep getting the shaft.
brb, gonna go drown my sorrows in kitten videos and valium. anyone care to join?
*****
suga på min banan
This bow-legged a-hole bitch did this same shit to D. Justice. He should have cracked a bat on her skull when he had the chance.
What a couple of assholes.
Great job, MOM and DAD! I am 3 and in counseling and the COURT SYSTEM is invovlved. I am on record at the age of 3!well done. Wellfuckingdone.
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I've got ten bucks and me and dirty eddie are staying out all weekend! - Rob Pue (thank you BBitch and Sweetas)
The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
They evaluate then through 'play therapy" at this age. Sand tables, playdoh, picture drawings/paintings, etc. The kiddo creates "whatever", then they analyze what's been done by the child and kinda diagnose that way.
Personally, myself, I think it's rather bullshit! At this age, I feel it's just too hard to evaluate exactly what that kid is feeling through all this.
Sry if this doesn't come out very "clear", I's needz nap!! Lol. =p
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Mountain Dew is also the perfect butt douche to turn to when that stubborn gerbil refuses to fall out of your ass.-Michael K.
Submitted by FreakGeek: "...Enjoy these years while you can - my step son is 6 and he already realizes his mother is a piece of shit who kept him away from his dad."
That's true.
KIDS KNOW WHAT'S UP.
I can look back at the way my parents were and see who was wrong, where. Always could. I remember thinking "Dad's being an asshole about this", or "Mom's totally overreacting here". Now that I have kids, I'm Team Mom.
Submitted by parissucksliterally: "Hekki, I agree with you, but it doesn't seem like her parents are capable of doing that. :(
If she buries her fear and anger at her parents now, she'll wind up being a fucked up kid. I don't see how therapy can hurt her in any way."
Yup. Hopefully she'll learn some good coping skills from the therapist. At least someone is recognizing that she is being stressed by this.
The fucked up part is that the child is in a position where she'd need therapy.
Halle lost her shit when Gabriel started taking Kim Kuntrashian out, Halle went bat shit crazy, and thats when this all started. So in a way he unleashed the crazy, but whatever, wait until he actually finds some nice young woman and settles down, I dont think Halle is going to want other women around Nahla, but its ok for Nahla to be photographed kissing Oliver Martinez on the mouth, shes using her daughter and its fucking gross-
C'mon Halle. You aren't fooling anyone. He was nothing but a sperm donor to you, and now that you're done with him, he needs to shut up, pay his child support, and go away.
Been through that with my husband's ex. A week after the kid was born, she told him to get out. If he tried to do anything for the kid other than paying support, she flipped her wig. It all came back to bite her in the ass (now we have custody).
So Halle take note. Eventually Nahla will notice you're a psychotic bitch who's using your millions to keep her away from her dad. Enjoy these years while you can - my step son is 6 and he already realizes his mother is a piece of shit who kept him away from his dad.
Someone needs to take a photo of Gabriel from court and show it to Oliver Martinez and shout "THIS IS YOU FUTURE!"
Both Halle and Gabriel need to sit in th LA county jail for a hot minute cause sending a THREE year old to therapy is a crime in and of itself.
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"I bet his crotch looks like an uncooked dough cigar lying on a bed of saffron" MK
I think its sad that a 3 yr old has to go to a counselor i think this is gonna be a tell tale sign of what is really going on here. i have a feeling this is not good for halle's side here..
the nanny should be fired..
the next nanny should be neutral party, decided on by both parties.. or both should have a nanny.. i understand one nanny would be great because it would be a stable party for nahla but it's not right that that gabriel has to be supervised when he's with his daughter when there is no proof he has done anything to harm his child..
i would love to be the 3rd party that these two have to see :) oh would i..
if gab is really as angry as halle says i cant say that i blame him much.. all her shananagins to keep him from his daughter and pushing her nanny on him is crazy. i'd snap too.. but he'll have to find a way to deal with her.. or show her true crazy a la kfed
I know someone who works as one of these "referees" in the family court system. The thing is, 99% of the time it changes nothing. All these jackasses talk a good game about how much they love their child, blah, blah, their child comes first, blah blah. But it's all bullshit because they will continue using the child as a pawn and all this crap will keep being repeated until Nahla is 18 and no longer under the court's jurisdiction. And she'll be totally screwed up long before then.
My fiance's exwife is cray cray just like Halle. I hope it doesn't get to this point for him and my 20 month-old stepdaughter. He's doing everything he can to put his daughter first... unfortunately that means he hasn't called the cops on his ex the many times he should have. But he would NEVER raise a hand to anyone in front of his daughter (unless they were doing her harm). I know it's hard to keep composure when you're dealing with such craziness, Gabe, but you didn't do yourself or your daughter any favors by playing into Berryberrycrazee's plan. Fathers already have virtually no rights to their kids in this country.
Poor Nahla. She's way too young to be put in such a position. I hope she starts working out her issues now, as much as a three year-old can, before she goes looking for love in all the wrong places.
Nahla is always going to end up being sucked into her parents drama. Right now, it's custody and counseling. At some point the issue will be money. Then, where to live and what kind of school. At some point, she ends up with actual issues and the drama revolves around how to deal those issues. On and on. This will not end well for any of them.
Hekki, I agree with you, but it doesn't seem like her parents are capable of doing that. :(
If she buries her fear and anger at her parents now, she'll wind up being a fucked up kid. I don't see how therapy can hurt her in any way.
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Some days I'm a super bitch, up to my old tricks but it won't last forever
Next day I'm your super girl, out to save the world and it keeps gettin' better
It's despicable that Nahla is going through this only because she should be living the princess life. Something tells me Halle is 1 breakdown shy of boiling bunnies and poor lil Nahla is gonna need therapy the rest of her life. Unfortunately, 3 years old is old enough to know that something isn't right and she is probably already acting out at the stress :(
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
Submitted by Oxygen: *puts on clown suit, lights candle on cupcake, and sings HAPPY BURFDAY to Darknight*
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Did you say "clown"?! *runs screaming in opposite direction* Happy birfday Darkniiiiiiiiiiight!
Nahla does not need therapy ffs.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 12:31pm.
...I don't know what a therapist would actually DO for a three year old.
^^^^^
Exactly. Unless she's been sexually or physically abused (in which case they'd use anatomically correct dolls), how do you treat such a young patient?
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Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 12:18pm.
::Judge Judy voice:: you're supposed to love your children more than you hate each other.
Dayum. Poor Nahla.
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Amen to that. This is why they don't pay her because she's gorgeous.
That's sad that Nahla has to go to counseling at THREE YEARS OLD! What a way to start life off. They are both selfish assholes.
OneLiner, your avvie made me lose my shit. That is HILARIOUS.