The Orange Mutant Ewok Invasion Has Begun...
It's going to be 60 degrees in NYC today, RiRi has publicly turned her back on the Illuminati, Rutgers is offering a Beyonce course and now there's a chance that the Pfizer recall has officially become a disaster to humanity because SNOOKI MIGHT BE SPAWNING! As the 20th century's greatest philosophers Bill & Ted once said: "Strange things are afoot at the Circle K!"
The respectable journal of truthiness Star Magazine tells us that in a few months a living creature will call Snooki its mommy. You can go ahead and cancel Groundhog Day tomorrow, because that Punxsutawney Phil bitch ain't coming out since he's digging his way to hell as I type this shit. Star's source says that Snooki and her midget hulk of a boyfriend Jionni smushed a baby into her womb and she's telling everybody about it.
“She is pregnant and has only told her closest friends and some family. She’s been telling people that she has a big announcement coming."
This is good news for the makers of the first ever tanning bed crib. This also good news for Planet Earth who are assembling their bravest camera crew yet to capture the world's first known birth of a Hulk/Ewok hybrid. Everybody else is fucked, because little Pickole Vodkotta LaValle will devour our world's supply of pickles and taint our jacuzzis.
Oh well, we should all still meet in front of the cave Snooki will give birth in, because there's no way she's going to let a little thing called "pregnancy" get in the way of her drinking gallons of the sweet nectar every night. That placenta is going to be 100+ proof! PLACENTA SHOTS FOR EVERYONE!
UPDATE: The rapture has been rescheduled, because Snooki denies that she's carrying the anti-christ.
• 
It's "Gianni," derp. smh for ruining a perfectly nice Italian name.
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
He looks dumb as fuck. Perfect match.
Can't imagine that a horizontal striped dress will look very good on her?
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Read Triston's Heaux-ventures as he traipses the Heaux-rient Sexpress!
http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2012/01/heaux-confessionals-traispsing-t...
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Nightowl!
Oh great.
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"Two whores don't make a right"-- M.K.
"Any guy who values stick thin and young over smarts and personality isn't worth it and has NOTHING interesting to say anyway."-- Mrs. Kravitz
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 11:54am.
Dog: then where are my tits, veneers and mah new fridge!?!?!
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*SWOOOOON* see you at home, sweetie!!
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"The English are horrible and Oprah is a moron." 01/10/12 the refined Brit, clairey claire
Christ, they look like rejects from a "Valley Girl" casting call. They have totally jumped the shark.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 11:24am.
Her shoes are fugly AND cheap looking.
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I think this pretty much sums up Snooki entirely. XD
Snooki's piece: If he was taller he might actually be attractive.
Snooki's personality grows on you like mold. I don't mind the little gal.
Submitted by LMA618 on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 11:20am.
I thought snookies lay eggs. Release the offspring into the Everglades.
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That is hilarious! I have this vision of the little snooki hatchlings crawling to the water like baby sea turtles.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. –michelleb
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 11:01am.
MJT- hahahahahahah
It sucks when there are so many people who would be great parents can't have babies, and so many trashy people get pregnant.
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Does that include the trashy horz on this site too?
Nah, she won't have a baby until Jersey Shore gets cancelled and she needs something new to get attention. Until then, she'll just keep having her appendix removed a few times a year.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Made me think of that line in Scarface when Tony Montana says, "Look at that: a junkie... I got a junkie for a wife ... Her womb is so polluted... I can't even have a fucking little baby with her!" Only with Snooki, she's Drunky McDrunkerson.
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
Stop knitting your cheetah onsies, she flushed it out.
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 11:54am.
Dog: then where are my tits, veneers and mah new fridge!?!?!
^^^^^^^^^^
Hey, you're Wife #3 which means you get a box of corn flakes and a copy of "Budgeting for Dummies".
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Beyonce course in college??? And you wonder why students cant get jobs after college.
OT rant its 62 and warm here for February, NO I do not want to see your nasty ass pale hairy legs.
Dog: then where are my tits, veneers and mah new fridge!?!?!
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Submitted by Oxygen on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 11:49am.
Submitted by Dog on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 11:39am.
Submitted by Oxygen on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 11:30am.
WOW...will Snooki's babeh get this kind of attention...let's hope not. The vid is...O_o
http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2012/01/31/does-chinas-cat-eyed-boy-have-...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
I just watched the video. That child's pupils don't react to light! They don't freaking dilate! How is that possible???
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Is that what happens with night vision? Things that make me go...RUN FOR YOU LIVESSSSSSS
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I don't know. I mean, cats have night vision and their pupils dilate in the light...
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
I doubt anything can gestate in that cesspit known as her uterus, unless it's the Alien.
Submitted by Dog on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 11:39am.
Submitted by Oxygen on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 11:30am.
WOW...will Snooki's babeh get this kind of attention...let's hope not. The vid is...O_o
http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2012/01/31/does-chinas-cat-eyed-boy-have-...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
I just watched the video. That child's pupils don't react to light! They don't freaking dilate! How is that possible???
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Is that what happens with night vision? Things that make me go...RUN FOR YOU LIVESSSSSSS
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 11:45am.
Jack and I are TEAM SNOOKS, but I'm glad she's not with gerkin, what fun would that be?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I KNEW IT! You two ARE married!!!!!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Jack and I are TEAM SNOOKS, but I'm glad she's not with gerkin, what fun would that be?
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Submitted by Gobbler on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 11:30am.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 11:24am.
Her shoes are fugly AND cheap looking.
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Maybe they're from payless looooool
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Ahahaha! Pam probably has a pair just like it!
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 10:55am.
You horz are on fiyyyah today!
(my phone's spell check has "horz" and "Snookitina" as autocomplete selections. How sick is that?)
I LOVE THAT^^^^ :D
~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♥~♦¤♦~♥~
FANTA FANTA, NO COKE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lnRDU4LdZE
Meat Loaf was in the middle of a show when his knees suddenly hit the stage floor like a narcoleptic bat out of hell ~MK
Submitted by Feral on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 11:39am.
TMZ is saying that Snooki says she ain't pregnant.
Gives credit to black guy with shovel...
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Hahahahahaha!
I still like her even if she is a whore...
*GTL's*
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"The English are horrible and Oprah is a moron." 01/10/12 the refined Brit, clairey claire
I knew it wasn't true.
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 10:58am.
I knew this 60 weather was too damn good to be true.
We are all going to die
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NO SHIT!!! That was my thought too!
P.S.
How is this troll gonna stop drinking for 9 months?? Poor little FAS fetus, I feel sorry for it already.
~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♥~♦¤♦~♥~
FANTA FANTA, NO COKE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lnRDU4LdZE
Meat Loaf was in the middle of a show when his knees suddenly hit the stage floor like a narcoleptic bat out of hell ~MK
TMZ is saying that Snooki says she ain't pregnant.
Gives credit to black guy with shovel...
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The calliope crashed to the ground...
Submitted by Oxygen on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 11:30am.
WOW...will Snooki's babeh get this kind of attention...let's hope not. The vid is...O_o
http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2012/01/31/does-chinas-cat-eyed-boy-have-...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
I just watched the video. That child's pupils don't react to light! They don't freaking dilate! How is that possible???
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
when you've taken as many protein shots as she has, one is bound to stick... take a bow, half pint.
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"The English are horrible and Oprah is a moron." 01/10/12 the refined Brit, clairey claire
LMSAO at MJT.
This is gross and I can't like it.
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I've got ten bucks and me and dirty eddie are staying out all weekend! - Rob Pue (thank you BBitch and Sweetas)
The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
You just know he has a small unit, too.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Gionni looks like he carries the primordial dwarf gene.
WOW...will Snooki's babeh get this kind of attention...let's hope not. The vid is...O_o
http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2012/01/31/does-chinas-cat-eyed-boy-have-...
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 11:24am.
Her shoes are fugly AND cheap looking.
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Maybe they're from payless looooool
JLo's is worse than that thing.
Oh man, hopefully this means the beginning of the end for Jersey Shore because their best drunk won't be able to drink anymore. And I'm pretty sure those sleepless nights with an infant won't really fit in with the Jersey Shore lifestyle.
The faster I can get these mutants out of my home (I grew up in Ocean County, NJ), the better.
Her shoes are fugly AND cheap looking.
That is one impeccable eyebrow game he's got going on there.
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"That's an awfully high horse sir, may I pet him?"
I thought snookies lay eggs. Release the offspring into the Everglades.
Rihanna, get off the pipe! Hot ass mess...smh.
ahahahahaaha :S how do we know it's not Situation's bebe? Now that is a situation. I'm a scientist so I can say this how come a t-rex arm "person" and an ewok mate? so wrong. what is the world coming to??!!
*throws holy water on pc screen*
Coma Caca!
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His head and torso are normal sized but his arms and legs are midgety. WTF!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 10:53am.
Did you guys see the photo of Snooki sans fards? She's actually pretty.
^^^^^^^^^^
So is Kim Kardashia! I were surprised.
*hides*
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
That'll do pig!
The combined I.Q between the two of these losers might be 11 on a good day.
*waits for someone to correct me and tell me how business savvy Snooki is*
LMAO @ Wookie MAD @ EWOK!
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Hekki, I did see that pic. She looked great.
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I love you, is all that you can say
Years gone by and still, words don't come easily
Like I love you, I love you
MJT- hahahahahahah
It sucks when there are so many people who would be great parents can't have babies, and so many trashy people get pregnant.
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I love you, is all that you can say
Years gone by and still, words don't come easily
Like I love you, I love you
Rihanna's just mad because Jay Z has been spending more time with his new spawn than her. She'll be square with Satan for her next S&M video.
Khloe must be fuming about Snooki. Wookie mad at Ewok!