"Adele Is A Little Too Fat" And Other Drops Of Wisdom From Kunty Karl
The official speaker of the House of Death Eaters was guest editor for the day at Metro's Paris office and that means you better curl around his pristine white shoes, because he's dropping words of 14 karat kunt wisdom about everything from Adele's voluptuousness to how Lana Del Rey is basically a beautiful singing breast implant. As Metro's interns went out into the wild to catch teenage models for Kunty Karl to kill the dreams of for lunch (it fills him more than eating every will), the former fatty turned HVIC (head vampire in charge) had some shit to say about all sorts of topics:
On the sedated animatronic mannequin Lana Del Rey and how Adele needs to chase the pavement until it leads her to a Jenny Craig: "I prefer Adele and Florence Welch. But as a modern singer she is not bad. The thing at the moment is Adele. She is a little too fat, but she has a beautiful face and a divine voice. Lana del Rey is not bad at all. She looks very much like a modern-time singer. In her photos she is beautiful. Is she a construct with all her implants? She's not alone with implants."On how the men in Russia offend his zombie eyes: "If I was a woman in Russia I would be a lesbian, as the men are very ugly. There are a few handsome ones, like Naomi Campbell's boyfriend, but there you see the most beautiful women and the most horrible men."
On M.I.A.'s middle finger: "Nowadays people give the middle finger quite quickly – it's not the best behavior. Everybody does that, what's new about that? It's just become a bad habit. People in magazines are 50% bimbo and 50% pregnant women."
On how Michelle Obama's face is made of magic: "Yes he does, especially because of Mrs. Obama. I'm a big fan of Mrs. Obama – and her face, I think, is magical. He would not be there without her. Mrs. Obama is not a fashion statement, but she has other things to do. My favorite thing about Mrs Obama was when she was asked if her skirt was not too tight and she answered "Why you don't like my big black ass?" I want [Barack] Obama to win because there is nothing better anyway, and especially because of her."
On how you will never find him in a voting booth unless a virgin maiden he happened to be chasing ran in there to hide: "I never voted in my life. I will never vote. I know too much about politics from what's going on backstage. To vote you have to believe all that garbage that they promise you, and they can't keep those promises. If someone gave me an Obama pin, I would just put it on."
So if you're walking through a dark alley in Paris late at night and you hear a German cackle rushing up behind you, you better hope that you're a fat, knocked up, Russian male bimbo whose middle finger is always erect, because Kunty Karl won't dare feed on your ass.
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Almost everything he says is with a mischievous sense of humour. he knows what he says tends to be outrageous and has even said that he does it for effect and to give people shit to talk about it. I find there tends to be truth in some of his pearls and no one can deny he is a very learned person in general. But yeah he's a Kunt and makes no apologies. Love 'em.
"HVIC (HEAD Vampire in charge)
*dies*
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
Gay men receive tremendous abuse from Republicans their entire lives. Women are especially abusive towards gay men. This man works hard and has vastly more talent than the hoards that feel they are superior to him because they are straight. I'm sure most of the females whom he creates employment for laugh at him behind his back.
I'm not shy to call a fatso fat and fat repellent. But when it comes to music i try hard to be fundamentally oldschool: i am not hearing music with my eyes.
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You got a lot of money, but you can't afford the freeway
ha ha satan comes in many forms, like this fucker.
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Karl needs a heart transplant STAT b/c the bitch doesnt have one. How he has become so successful is beyond me - he's ruthless, heartless, has no filter and the general public seems to hate him. The criticism he dishes out is nauseating. Does he have some kind of dry humor that no ones gets? People do have feelings , you dumb ugly cunt!
And no, I'm not overweight.
Submitted by Stephanie Tanner on Mon, 02/06/2012 - 7:56pm.
You're an idiot, but I shan't bother to go into detail why.
You missed the point completely, but why would anyone expect anything different from your usual troll self?!
Adele was hilarious and fun on Graham Norton. She'd fit in great here. Kunty Karl? He doesn't seem like he knows how to have fun, so yep, he can suck it. :P
Who care what old hag thinks anyway
I loove Adele and I loove Karl! He is just stating a fact. When I used to be a fattyfattyfatfat girl myself (I lost 60 pounds since) I hated it when people said that I am NOT fat to make me feel better because I knew they were lying. Adele is overweight! Period. It's just that I don't love her less because of it. She is gorgeous and I have a huge girlcrush on her.
kunty karl must be a joy at family picnics...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
Boston61 you never fail to be the stupidest slut on this site. If you were over the age of 12 I would be surprised.
Kissing Ass and Cupping Balls. You're Welcome.
Boston61 you never fail to be the stupidest slut on this site. If you were over the age of 12 I would be surprised.
Kissing Ass and Cupping Balls. You're Welcome.
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Tue, 02/07/2012 - 1:04am.
Snert sounds great, though I might leave the pork out.
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Please: It's "rahnday."
I kind of like him after he said what he said about Mrs. Obama...and also this:
"On how you will never find him in a voting booth unless a virgin maiden he happened to be chasing ran in there to hide: 'I never voted in my life. I will never vote. I know too much about politics from what's going on backstage. To vote you have to believe all that garbage that they promise you, and they can't keep those promises. If someone gave me an Obama pin, I would just put it on.' "
I own my crazy. I earned it tooth and nail.--ME
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Tue, 02/07/2012 - 12:55am.
And 'snert' too (traditional Dutch pea soup with sausage).
Yes, I fear my small country is big when it comes to having corny traditions. As I write this, I realize this is probably not really an enticement for all of you guys to come over for a visit.
http://dutchfood.about.com/od/soups/r/TraditionalDutchSplitPeaSoup.htm
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"We are here on earth to do good for others.
What the others are here for, I don't know."
W.H. Auden
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Tue, 02/07/2012 - 12:51am.
Wow. That's a lot of skating. Do they stop for hot cocoa or schnapps?
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Please: It's "rahnday."
Mickey, You made me think of the hugestastic hotness of Beth Ditto. She'd flip Kunty off and then mount him. HAHA Love her song from that Charlize Dior ad
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mQVljB7JGw&ob=av2e
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"What is that strange clear liquid dripping out of my eye?" MK
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Tue, 02/07/2012 - 12:41am.
I'm impressed with you being up to date on Dutch news. The Eleven Cities Tour is a legendary tour which takes place in the northern part of our country over a stretch of 124 miles. I don't mind the event so much as I do people (men!) yapping about it all the time. Just skate already and get it over with!
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"We are here on earth to do good for others.
What the others are here for, I don't know."
W.H. Auden
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Tue, 02/07/2012 - 12:35am.
Here's hoping that someone orders boston61 a ginormously fat lap dancer for his birthday.
LOL! (They don't exist.) I can never figure out where Boston61 stands politically. He(?) is such a hodge-podge of ideas.
I saw something today about a 125-mile skating race in the Netherlands but then I was distracted by a shiny penny.
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Please: It's "rahnday."
Here's hoping that someone orders boston61 a ginormously fat lap dancer for his birthday.
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"We are here on earth to do good for others.
What the others are here for, I don't know."
W.H. Auden
Karl is a TALENTED cunt. Adele is fat and TALENTED.
I cannot wait for her verbal slap response!
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Fat people just need to lay off the Twinkies. There is nothing sexy about a roll of blubber.
Fat people just need to lay off the Twinkies. There is nothing sexy about a roll of blubber.
yeah karl is a fucking loon, beyond bat shit crazy.
i guess all those years of coke does that.
but oh well, he makes nice dresses though.
"House of Death Eaters" and "HVIC (head vampire in charge)" LOL MK!
I can't even hate on Kunty, he's gone looney, he's walked the earth for centuries and is turning into a Lauren Bacall-Maurice Sendak hybrid. A crypt karma fuck for KK! LMAO! Bitchy with his compliments and goes for the jugular with his criticisms! They are EVIL and spare no one. Very few take him seriously or we wouldn't find his shit funny. But now, he makes me want to hear his take on the Kartrash, Cruiseship, Blowhan, Keshit, MIA (again), Goopeh, and on and on! And what could be more fun than the skewering he would give them!! Leave good people alone Kunty! HAhahahahah LOL!
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"What is that strange clear liquid dripping out of my eye?" MK
That Karl! He never fails to deliver magical gems of fuckery wrapped in hateful old queen remarks. He probably thought he was paying Adele the highest of compliments by acknowledging her talent, and because of her talent, he will excuse her "fatness".
I love his honesty, yet I am terrified of him. He looks so corpse-like and evil.
KK needs a stake through the heart, pronto. Somebody please pass Mr. Pointy...
Fat is awesome, bitches! It's not a four letter word in either the literal or metaphorical sense.My fat ass has nothing to apologize for or be ashamed of. OOOOHHH the fat bogey is coming to get all the gym rats in their dreams ::::run away run away:::: I love the gym (pronounced a la Homer) and I love eating. What could it possibly mean to Adele? Shes just swaying...
P.S. Miss Squirrel Eatin Ditto is doing a MAC collab- yee haw!
"This better be important Jack, I was bidding on a bag of bras on ebay."
Liz Lemon
http://www.mirror.co.uk/celebs/news/2008/04/01/soul-singer-adele-gets-we...
She's very pretty-much more beautiful than GisBun and her ilk. And fat. Sorry!
Madge's soul mate and fellow virgin blood sucker.
Btw just because Adele isn't a size 00 doesn't mean she's FAT! Have you never seen celebs in the flesh?
I wonder if I am the only one on the planet who finds the tone of Adele's voice irritating. I know she is talented, but there's something about her voice that I find irritating.
As a german I'm ashamed! Kunty Karl defines everything that is wrong with society!
Submitted by SoulTaker on Mon, 02/06/2012 - 8:24pm.
Karl IS a kunt, Adele IS talented, and Adele IS fat. That's just the way the universe designed things.
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Well soul taker I deeply thank you for a very nice LMFAO....
"Doc, I don't want to fly anymore"
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Mon, 02/06/2012 - 7:29pm.\
I love you, Cupcake. BUT I'd rather excuse a fat talented person, than a drug addict famous person. Who knows what all of these assholes even hide. At least when you are chunky it's there for the whole world to accept.. or not. And besides if everyone was on a constant diet, you would be banished and that would be so sad!
I adore Adele. Kunty Karl can go suck it.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Mon, 02/06/2012 - 7:13pm.
He probably is into that autoerotic as....you know what I mean and the high collar just hides the bruises.
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Surely not! Not that 80 is alawys too old for sex, but I think if any cum shot out of Karl, his bones would crumble and blow away.
To quote Patsy Stone on Kunty Karl: "Darling, he's got a comb over from a nose hair."
God, I hate this turd
Work it Karl, you wilted Q-Tip!!
Submitted by TequilaTax on Mon, 02/06/2012 - 8:39pm.
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I get what you're saying. Maybe because Beth is much larger than Adelle? And Beth makes a bit of a spectacle of herself, with the tacky clothes and crotch grabbing, she embracees the fat, which is refreshing. I'm not at all saying she desrves ridicule. Adelle seems much more focused on her craft and being known as a singer/songwriter. My two cents. Also, where the fuck is Beth Ditto?
Karl is spot on with his comments. He clearly would be a Democrat and I'm sure he would vote if he were an American. Just because he is a gay man does not mean he must be silent. Being a gay man I'm sure he has suffured tremendous abuse from women hence his jab at the singer.
Why do people say "curvy" ? Just say fat. And why does someone's BMI have to be scrutinized constantly? So what if she is or isn't fat? Should I go around saying "you're old or a bitch or whatever" what is the point. He looks like a gd cadaver with expensive clothes.
Submitted by Hotmami on Mon, 02/06/2012 - 8:20pm.
I don't rag on fat people...since you're making that argument.
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I wasn't making an argument and I was speaking in general terms.
I noticed that on this site Beth Dito gets snarked on but this Adele chick doesn't. According to comments I've read, both are talented singers.
I was just curious on why one gets a pass and the other doesn't.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
Karl IS a kunt, Adele IS talented, and Adele IS fat. That's just the way the universe designed things.
I don't rag on fat people...since you're making that argument.
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Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
Submitted by Stephanie Tanner on Mon, 02/06/2012 - 7:56pm.
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Are you saying she's not fat? Stating an obvious fact is not "judging."
Submitted by Hotmami on Mon, 02/06/2012 - 7:56pm
I don't get it. People rag on Beth Dito being fat but have no problem with Adele being big.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
Oh, wow. He got out of the crypt!
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"Two whores don't make a right"-- M.K.
"Any guy who values stick thin and young over smarts and personality isn't worth it and has NOTHING interesting to say anyway."-- Mrs. Kravitz