Randy Travis Knows How To Party....By Himself...In Front Of A Baptist Church
Randy Travis was shuffled off to the drunk tank in Sanger, Texas at around 1 this morning after the cops ruined his buzz by catching him guzzling from a wine bottle while sitting in his car which was parked in front of a baptist church. If you put a banjo and a sprinkle of twang on that last sentence, it really would sound like a country song. As soon as Randy Travis smears some lip chap on those crackle lips (Seriously, couldn't the cops have given Randy a dollop of Vaseline for his mug shot moment?), he should write that song.
NBCDFW says that someone called the police to complain about a suspicious-looking vehicle parked in front of the church. The cops answered the call and found Randy sitting in his car. When Randy rolled the window down, the cops practically got tanked from inhaling his 100 proof wine breath. Randy had an open bottle of wine on his lap, so the cops killed his car party for one and dragged him to jail. Randy was booked on public intoxication and dried out in the tank for a few hours before he was released.
Who hasn't been arrested for getting drunk on the blood of christ in front of a church? But the thing is, Randy Travis lives in some town called Tiogra, which isn't far from where the cops got his ass. So why wasn't Randy getting plastered under his carport like all the Texans I know? Let's hope that Randy learned a valuable lesson from this. The lesson being that when a trick you met from Grindr (or Craigslist, or from calling a number you found scribbled in front of a urinal in a truck stop bathroom) tells you to meet them in front of the baptist church with a bottle of Chateau Diane, tell them to come to your carport instead!
No, seriously, I had this friend in L.A. who never let the tricks he met online come into his house. He'd meet them in front and then take them into the garage. They'd do their thing on an old futon and then he'd kick them out. His reasoning was that he was too lazy to go to their house and he didn't want them to come inside his just in case they were thieves. He'd tell them that his dog didn't like strangers. So there's your Ho Shit tip of the day! Hopefully, it goes from my blog to Randy's eyes.
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He had a rough life before he was famous. Petty criminal with a drug problem,found Jaysus,started sanging, hooked up with his"mom"/manager. Since they split, he's gone off the rails. Girlfriend just needs to Come Out. He's not fooling anyone. He prolly make a comeback album out of this.
His face is very similar to Taylor Lautner's (or, the other way around).
first off...how exactly does a vehicle look suspicious??
second...how do you know the person parked there isn't in desperate need of some prayer???
that would have been my excuse and I would've stuck to it! me and my Jesus juice!!
But back on topic, why do gay men have moustaches? To hide the stretch marks (take a hint, Randy).
Submitted by Hautie on Mon, 02/06/2012 - 1:33pm.
Do you know why Baptist don't dance?
They wouldn't want anyone to mistakenly think they were f*cking.
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You got it backwards. Why don't Baptists have sex standing up? It's too much like dancing.
bitch aint got shit on my muggie.
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Cure for cramps: weed. Weed for everything, really.- Bjork You
Wait...it's illegal to drink alcohol in a PARKED car? Then what's the point of keeping my flask in the glove compartment?
Hey Randy,
Your car insurance is going to go up. Let me do you a favor. I got super awesome quotes for my car insurance when my rates went up.
no spaces, of course, Randy. and you're welcome!
www .buy auto insurance . com
Whoa--who knew Beavis would grow up to be Randy Travis?
heheheheheheh--you said Randy--hehehhhehhehh
I like RT!
I thought Michael put "Party Like Randy", not
Party like a Brady.
Party for one going on now!!!!!!
Country assed creepy! This looks like a grampa Chris Hansen waiting in the shadows to pick up a kid.
Spoiled is right! Randy "married" Elizabeth, his 35 year old manager at the tender age of 17. Rumor had it she did it because he was gay and it would ruin his cuntry career. They divorced in 2010.
Liz should be Hot Slut of the Day! What a doll! Check her out:
http://extratv.warnerbros.com/images/news/1030-randy-travis.jpg
And:
http://i2.cdn.turner.com/cnn/2010/images/11/01/t1larg.randy.travis.gi.jp...
Ann Jillian ain't got nothin on her!
Gosh, what a looker!
"Snort"
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I have never loved life so much.
Well at least he looks a dignified lesbian highway patrol officer in his mug shot.
I don't know the rules in Texas, but usually if you yell 'Sanctuary!' they can't arrest you for drinking in front of a church.
Only on dlisted would peeps confess what really happens in church parking lots. Lmao.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Well, in HS the boyfriend and I couldn't get our fuck on in his house or my house (stupid nosey parents) so we had to get out ho shit done in his car.
Nearest Church parking lot and behind one of the buildings at an elementary school were two most used spots.
Do you know why Baptist don't dance?
They wouldn't want anyone to mistakenly think they were f*cking.
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And my favorite.... Did you know that Baptists don't recognize each other in a liquor store.
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Yes, I am going to hell.
And to be fair I grew up in Texas. I have a Baptist college education and know all the jokes. Plus I love a good margarita.
But Randy getting busted at the local Baptist church parking lot... drunk as hell... just cracks me up. He officially became interesting to me now.
Yet I suspect all the local christian radio stations will he pulling his songs. Till he publicly repents for that boozing.
TMZ says that Randy is only 52. Why'd I think he was like 65?
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Douchechill!
Pretty much right away LisaRose, it's part of the processing before they put you in a holding cell. They do the fingerprinting,take down info and you get your photo taken.
*ahem*
...or so I've heard
Does anyone know if mugshots are taken right away or do they wait awhile? Just curious!
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www.dungeonhordes.com
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Wait. That's his mugshit? But that's the way he always looks! Eh?
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
I think this is the forever and ever dude ..anyway I think the church thing is just a coincidence. I don't see an issue here. I am sure he was not driving after.
Lyle was the unfortunate one to marry Julia.
Slurpee, surely you've heard the song "Forever and ever, Amen"?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgJXbIP83A8&ob=av2e
(wow he is sooo young in that video)
He's had plenty of hits but that one seems to have transcended more into mainstream
His mugshot outshines anything done by Lindsay or Paris.
Letty...they do look alike! Lol. The foreheads & all.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
People really just do not give a shit do they?!
Fuckin' a.
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I've got ten bucks and me and dirty eddie are staying out all weekend! - Rob Pue (thank you BBitch and Sweetas)
The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
Shit Randy, come to a decent Episcopalian church and we'll invite you in for a martini!
jesus juice strikes again
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Totally thought it was this guy:
http://www.mugshots.com/Favorites/Chris_Kemp.html
=-=-="Bitch wants food again"=-=-=-
Submitted by guest on Mon, 02/06/2012 - 12:28pm.
letty...no that was lionel lovett. ;)
Edit....spelling
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oh, right! she was married to that lovett dude...still, randy and lovett look like same dudes to me...have they ever been photo'd together?
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
Never heard of him. Is he one of the Oak Ridge Boys? Ellllviiiraa!
What do you EXPECT from a redneck hillbilly?
Submitted by letinstar on Mon, 02/06/2012 - 12:22pm.
is randy travis the one that married julia roberts?
^^^^^^^^^^^
I thought that, too, but I think she married Lyle Lovett.
Anyone?
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
His drunken smirk is because his weiner smells like Jolly Ranchers.
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I'm like herpes... I may disappear for awhile but you can NEVER get rid of me!
SO, and?!
I once had sex in the parking lot of a Catholic church.
Fuck it!
It's not my denomination!
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He's just sad over his breakup with Sinead.
letty...no that was lionel lovett. ;)
Edit....spelling
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Awwww, Randy Travis. Fond memories of listening to Randy Travis while my daddy was teaching me to drive the truck down country roads...at 8 years old. Damn, I forget how truly country I am sometimes.
Randy is talented with a great voice and it's sad that he has always seemed so troubled.
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
*doesn't have a carport* :p
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Church parking lot is no good for anything esp at my church, Pastor living on the premises.
It's the first place cops look after school parking lots.
Keep your activities at home. Like Dane and Gayheart.
Carport makes me think Florida. I'll accept "shed" = Texas but not carport.
is randy travis the one that married julia roberts?
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
ahahaahahahah. why can't we drink our sins away in front of Jesus's house of worship? NOT RIGHT cold blooded dark sided laws!
Coma Caca!
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damn he's got a gigantic cranium. Love that he still manages to give a smirksmile.
Tip # 8 Meet them at the lake house! Tip # 9 do them in the downstairs hallway. Hahaha Suspicious-looking vehicle, whoever called that in deserves a hot spanking! Dork hahaha. Someone add him to Douches of grindr stat! LMAO!
"What is that strange clear liquid dripping out of my eye?" MK
We Texans do NOT drink "under the carport", we drink in our garages! Get it right!
As far as church hookups go, one of the funniest stories in recent memory came from a buddy the other day.
Apparently he and his gf (they were 16 at the time) decided to get frisky at the church near his house after dark. So he is sitting in a swing and she is shirtless/braless on her knees going to town. The playground was right next to the parking lot.
A few minutes into it he said it was like "A spotlight turned on. A fucking spotlight"
It wasn't a spotlight. It was a school bus returning grade school children from a field trip.
Nobody knows when or where the Lord will call you.
you should watch them pee after, so you can gargle the piss in your mouth, since that is what fags do anyway (all of them)
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.