Dreamy Is Somebody's Father Again!
Pete "Dreamboat" Doherty looks about as clean as a subway rat's torn off hemorrhoid floating in a Port-A-Potty toilet at the Gathering of the Juggalos, and yet he's still in my Top 5 for reasons that are probably written down on my medical file at the free clinic. But even though I'm a disgusting piece of trash who may or may not have been known to put his retainer right back on after drunk barfing it out into a public toilet, I still wouldn't let Dreamboat's bare dick near me without injecting it with the cure from Contagion first. I'd also have to get a rat to nibble the cheese off and then I'd mummify it with condom shreds dipped it in Barbicide. But that's just me and Dreamy's ex-girlfriend Lindi Hingston is not like me. Lindi did it bareback-style with Dreamy and nine months later out popped a baby girl she named Aisling Doherty.
The South African model told the South African Sunday (via Daily Mail) that Aisling was born on Boxing Day of last year. Lindi called Dreamy when he was locked up in prison and told him that his son Astile now has a half-sister. Dreamy wants to visit Aisling, but he's on probation right now and can't leave the country. The worst part of all of this is what Dreamy said about the birth of Aisling. Dreamy said he was:
OVER THE MOON!!!!!
You know, I'm going to let that one slide, because Dreamy was probably hallucinating on (insert the name of any mind-altering substance here and you won't be lying) and he was flying over the moon in his head.
The Daily Mail has pictures of young Aisling Doherty and she looks so pure and so innocent to the fact that her biological daddy is on The Health Department's Most Wanted List. No, truthfully, I'm sure Dreamy will make a wonderful father. Dreamy will teach Aisling that if you never brush your teeth, you'll have a four-course meal stuck in your molars. So when the the apocalypse hits, all of us will be starving while Dreamy will be eating a full meal off of his teeth. See, we can all learn something from Dreamy. Oh, Aisling, why so lucky?
• 
Does he ever take a bath?
Lindi is a supermodel?! i just don't understand women...or men. but really girl?! get yourself together (in the wise words of robyn) and stop humping on this hazardous dick!
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
Peter is an acquaitance of mine. He can be very charming, sometimes. Manipulatively charming.
A friend of mine, who is in fact completely stunning, had a bit of a go with him a few years ago. I've never gotten up the nerve to ask her about it, though.
I'm not sure what it smells like, but I do know his dick isn't all that big.
he's got the complexion of a nosferatu. seriously, he looks like a character from the Blade movie series. :-P
Who the fuck is sexing this putrid biohazard? The mere thought of his fingernails makes me want to do shots of Purell, let alone the sweaty old smegma that must be collecting on his peen. Poor baby Aisling was probably born with a UTI.
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
Never mind there will be lovely days ahead one day for father and child to bond. Lessons in personal hygiene, polite behavior and how to chew on a nipple with your back molar teeth (since daddy’s front teeth are missing and frost bitten from sucking on that cracker pipe- oh well).
Don’t you wish you were an out of control rocker who had buxome models falling out of the sky desperate to have children with you? I know I do…
http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2012/02/pete-doherty-would-like-to-tell-...
"crack goggles"
I can understand Krackie Kat Moss having sex with him but I should think every other women would find him revolting.
The kid probably came out sweating with dirty finger nails.
As much as I love this guys music man o man you'd think he'd finally get his shit together and clean up, literally and figuratively. The guy really is a great lyricist and songwriter. I'd like to see him get his shit together but what the fuck, maybe some people are just destined to be a Whitney or an Amy and flame out.
LOL @ Sandbitch's avvie... you're awesome.
Submitted by WTFOMGLOL on Tue, 02/14/2012 - 7:50am.
motherfucker. I have to do everything but sign over my firstborn before I'm allowed to adopt a shelter dog
^^^^^^^^^^
That's to protect the doggy. Good times.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by WTFOMGLOL on Tue, 02/14/2012 - 7:50am.
motherfucker. I have to do everything but sign over my firstborn before I'm allowed to adopt a shelter dog
++++++++++++++++++++++
I hear you. Now I just take in strays.
motherfucker. I have to do everything but sign over my firstborn before I'm allowed to adopt a shelter dog, and this cretin gets to breed indiscriminately ? that poor child.
I'm more amazed there was one living swimmer in those dirty cesspool balls of his. probably filled with broken needles and mashed out ciggie butts, like an inner city pool.
"...Aisling was born on Boxing Day of last year."
idk, i'd expect the kid to be born on a plane... and not at the window, if you know what i mean
"Oh Nooo don't go out THERE. What? I tried to warn her." Who is this guy again?
Dreamy was also in my top 5 back in his Libertines days. I like em scruffy and stinky looking but god damn, even I would draw the line at him these days and unprotected??? Really? God his dick must smell so bad. Retch.
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"It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious": The late great Bill Hicks
Poor baby. Imagine THAT face hovering over your crib.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by Kandykane on Tue, 02/14/2012 - 2:50am.
Maybe he is Keef Richard's secret child. That dude did drugs like a motherfucker,for far longer, and seems indestructible. Etta James, bless her soul, was a heroin addict as well and died from natural causes at 75!
I don't want to be mean or anything but why the fuck is this stinking pile of rotten-toothed bat shit still converting O2 into rank breath while my beloved Whitney is lying in a funeral home? He's like a fucking roach. A nuclear strike will leave nothing but ants, pulverized concrete, radiation and .... him. Oh, and Cher.
If Gary Busey can knock someone up, then anyone can.
Dreamy conception obviously occurred without any kissing, his teeth would be a lighter shade of yellow, surely.
ewwwwwwwww ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Submitted by heathen on Tue, 02/14/2012 - 2:39am.
I can't believe this guy can impregnate anybody -- his mutant sperm should have 2 heads & be swimming in circles.
+++++++++++++++++++++
That, or both infants could have been born with birth defects. A PhN told me if either parent ingests LSD close to conception it can cause extra fingers or thumbs. Or holes in the heart.
I can't believe this guy can impregnate anybody -- his mutant sperm should have 2 heads & be swimming in circles.
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Don't you come after me you WHORE!
I'm meant to see him live at the end of March. If he'll show up. Last time I saw him he was high as fuck, but still did the entire set flawlessly. But yeah, I guess being high is his natural state of mind.
Whitney is gone and this guy looks like he's been through Chernobyl and back and still lives.
Oh, this'll end well. Born on Boxing Day, to symbolize the pittance he'll be sending her for the next few years till he goes toes-up.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Please: It's "rahnday."
Dreamboat Petey gets all teh modelz somehow, and manages to snag a hot piece...again, despite the fact that he looks like a cracked-out gutter rat. Plus, Aisling ("ash-ling") is a nice name. Mind. Blown. Does not compute.
MK, that first line was pure poetic beauty. A modern-day Charles Dickens, you are.
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
Submitted by agirl on Mon, 02/13/2012 - 10:42pm.
Submitted by A.cotw on Mon, 02/13/2012 - 10:17pm.
botfly infestation? bedbugs? yeast infection, herpes? dandruff athlete's foot fungus, jock itch
maggots, fleas, west nile virus, bubonic plague
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Acne vulgaris and rigor mortis.
Submitted by A.cotw on Mon, 02/13/2012 - 11:24pm.
Hepatitis,typhus,typhoid fever and pubic lice.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!
Again, who would get near this guy, let alone have sex with him? I've watched enough zombie flicks to know that they're always losing body parts. Can't you just see Dreamy & some hot model goin' to town, doing the horizontal hula...and then his junk breaks off?
[vomits again]
Hepatitis,typhus,typhoid fever and pubic lice.
@A.cotw, Vixen, i_heart_jack, agirl:
HAAAAHAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!
OMG, the list of diseases gets longer (and funnier)!
[laughs too hard; drools]
[but wipes it with tissue; no voluntary grossness here]
How stoned/insane was this woman to have ANY sex wih him, let alone unproteced sex and have a baby. YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK, EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!
"If at first you don't succeed, reload, reload, RELOAD."
His weiner probably smells really bad too!
Submitted by agirl on Mon, 02/13/2012 - 10:42pm.
Submitted by A.cotw on Mon, 02/13/2012 - 10:17pm
HAHAHA!!!
Submitted by A.cotw on Mon, 02/13/2012 - 10:17pm.
botfly infestation? bedbugs? yeast infection, herpes? dandruff athlete's foot fungus, jock itch
maggots, fleas, west nile virus, bubonic plague
Double whammy with the Trump picture and Dreamboat. Nast! I can't believe MK doesn't want to tongue dance with that. *slight sarcasm.*
EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW.
Someone mated with this.
*upchucks*
To add to A.ctow's list, Pete also looks like he has necrotizing fasciitis, ringworm, and a sweaty, maggoty infection somewhere.
*barfs*
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Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.
Just have to say - Whoa, MK is scoring some fancy ads.
My eyes are Glamatized. I just can't look directly at Trump or a toilet starts twirling in my throat.
.
.
He's repulsive and somebody fucked him, woooow....willingly? Definitely not sober...I would rather take a chance going raw with Magic Johnson; I'd probably catch a few LESS diseases
Eeeewwwwww. PPPP-UUUUUUU.
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Submitted by pohyah on Mon, 02/13/2012 - 8:56pm.
Thank you very much for the explanation. I didn't know Aisling means Angel.
First heard the name from an Irish coworker called Roisin & must have misheard when she told me about her younger sister. Her voice was very sweet and soft.
"He looks like he has impetigo, head lice, scabies, chlamydia, tertiary syphillis and Ebola Marburg."
Don't forget schistosomiasis, my very favorite disease name.
And he is so gross, I wouldn't get within 100 feet of him, let alone do the nasty with him.
How do you pronounce that name?
It's nice that the little girl will one day have a picture of her mama and alleged babydaddy in the backseat where she was allegedly conceived. Beautiful!
And klassy that her mom posed for pics with her while wearing shorts (a skirt? whatever she's wearing) so short she must have got grass up her hoo-hoo. Nice.
Anyway the baby's cute...see I said something nice.
Submitted by MrrKat on Mon, 02/13/2012 - 9:42pm.
Submitted by A.cotw on Mon, 02/13/2012 - 8:37pm.
Oops, I forgot ringworm and staph infections. Did I miss any other medical terms for icky cooties?
Sex? Fucking as if!I couldn't stand to be in the same room with him. Mind you, I have no problem helping homeless unwashed people. It's voluntary filth that bothers me.
Pete and Donal Trump should mate. That would be funny and fitting.
Mhm, I know that I saw a pic of him posing nude a few years back, when he was still with Kate Moss - it looked quite a bit bigger than what he's now holding in his hand, so I'm not so sure if that pic I remembered was photoshopped (I didn't find it when I looked for it now, but Google is a bitch anyways). Whatever.
For a while, MK, I inexplicably found this walking nicotine stain in a suit sexy, too. But the bloat and sweat has finally overtaken him.
Not with a ten foot crack pipe.
Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 02/13/2012 - 9:36pm.
Me too, altho he's my avatar, it's because he's so gross, and I'm immature enough to like gross stuff!!!
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I have never loved life so much.
Submitted by A.cotw on Mon, 02/13/2012 - 8:37pm.
He looks like he has impetigo, head lice, scabies, chlamydia, tertiary syphillis and Ebola Marburg.
HAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!
Damn, that was good, A.cotw. Those conditions are all so random, yet nasty, going from "gross but relatively harmless" to "OMGyouaresofucked."
And OT: I don't think I could have sex with ANYONE who has the complexion of a corpse. Do models find that greenish-gray tinge sexy? [vomits]
LMFPO at the comments here.
I have a huge soft spot for Pete, and I'd happily spend a few hours getting drunk with him, but NEVER would I EVER let his peen anywhere NEAR me. Not even CLOSE.
Ew.
Fuck.
Ew.
Submitted by islandgirl on Mon, 02/13/2012 - 9:01pm.
I really fucking hate you for that.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org