Posh Grabs Becks By The Balls

Brought to you by Becks' Facebook page (via Buzzfeed), here's Posh Beckham making icicles form on the assholes of Lucifer's minions in hell by actually cracking a slight smile while doing a "ball check" pose in front of her husband's billboard in NYC. This is some historic shit since we all figured Posh's mouth was permanently flatlining into bitch mode. Posh can smile! But Posh stopped smiling after a dude parked his car in front of her, got out and tried to stick a quarter in her mouth since she's as skinny as a damn meter.

And here's a few hilariously awkward pictures of Posh, Hamish Bowles and Anna Wintour in the subway at the inaugural run of a Union Jack covered car for the GREAT Britain campaign in NYC today. It's known that Posh would give all five hundred of her kids to get on the cover of American Vogue and Anna Wintour's acting like she's not even alive. To be honest, I don't even know if Posh is alive, because damn it looks like she shares a make-up artist with The Walking Dead. I feel like I'm Haley Joel Osment and she's one of my ghost visitors. Posh is looking like a Dark Crystal puppet inspired by The Curious Case of Ali Lohan and the Mexican zombie (Zombican?) from the Black Eyed Peas. Somebody get Posh 1/1000th of a Triple Bypass Burger!

Wenn.com, Splash

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by lastdiva on Fri, 02/17/2012 - 9:12am.

What in 1986 hell is Wintour going for, there?
Posh looks better with her hair long, now if she can eat a sandwich and smile once in a fucking while...baby steps...
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"That's an awfully high horse sir, may I pet him?"

Submitted by Fronika on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 7:45pm.

Hair extensions courtesy of Romanian orphans. Skeletal bitch, she looks like Morticia from The Addams Family.

"No matter how cynical you become, it's impossible to keep up." - Lily Tomlin

Submitted by WithinReason... on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 6:14pm.

CarmenElectrical, something tells me Beckham's are PERFECTLY NICE, BEAUTIFUL balls! hahahahahahah Now his Mickey Mouse voice, THAT I just can't handle! :D

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"What is that strange clear liquid dripping out of my eye?"MK

WHO CARES!!! & WHO CARES: THE SEQUEL!!! - MK on Justin

Submitted by CarmenElectrical on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 6:07pm.

If I were Posh I wouldn't want to go near his herpes encrusted balls. Go figure.

Submitted by Scott in NYC on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 5:54pm.

GOD, I love Vicki B!!!!

Submitted by boston61 on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 3:54pm.

Stop giving American money to these two illegal aliens. HIRE AMERICAN.

Submitted by Mrs_Fox on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 3:05pm.

Bitch looks like she needs to take a shit but can't because she's so blocked up. She needs to take a laxative and chill.

Submitted by fitzi on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 2:43pm.

She looks a emotionally flat,is she medicated?

Submitted by catfight357 on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 2:39pm.

I don't know if it's the long hair or the soft (but heavy) eye makeup, but she looks, dare I say, young. Or SOMETHING. Something different.
She kind of looks like Eliza Dushku or something. It's weird. She doesn't look like Posh.

Submitted by Sarah Smile on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 12:54pm.

"Posh looks timeless here. Anna seems to be going for something but does not work at all."

Oh, my God - I think the polar opposite. I think Posh has remained in the late 90s and that Anna has impeccable style. As to Posh looking tired, she looks the way we all do in that terrible subway lighting!

Sarah Smile

Submitted by moomarse on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 12:39pm.

Would it kill the fucking bitch to smile just ONCE????? shit.........

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"When I'm ready to get off, I'll get off"

Submitted by Manimal5 on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 10:54am.

I kinda like the Jenifer Love Soup tits look.

Submitted by letinstar on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 10:28am.

posh looks like a zombie in the main picture...she looks like she can barely stand without help in all the other pictures....EAT for crying out loud...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr

Submitted by clairey claire on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 9:55am.

I agree that she is desperately insecure. The spice girls made it big almost by accident, with barely any talent between them, at the height of her fame she married one of the most desired men on earth (back then) who publically cheated on her, and now rubs shoulders with Hollywood elite but she's basically a pretty average girl from the English suburbs who has been incredibly lucky to get where she is. Someone like Kim K is comfortable with being talentless because she was raised in the A list environment. Vicky Beckham must feel like such a fraud and it shows. No wonder she's anorexic, I feel kinda sorry for her.

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"It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious": The late great Bill Hicks

Submitted by Tiddly-Winks on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 9:47am.

I used to think she was pretending to be chronically bored, but now I realize that I was mistaken. That woman looks weak with hunger! Anna the Hun, please put her on Vogue so she can break her hunger strike!

Submitted by Satan on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 9:26am.

ZOMBIE ball grabber!

Submitted by Detective_LaToya on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 9:24am.

This is not a good look for her. At all.

And I love how Anna is just standing there and smirking about how Poshie Poo will never be on the cover of her magazine.

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"You are fucking bitches, this is my prom!"

Submitted by Dirk Diggler on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 9:13am.

Somebody bury those three corpses already.

But before they do that, they should send Anna's wig to the Smithsonian, to be displayed under "1960s memorabilia."

Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 8:25am.

She looks like she's about 12 years old with her hair like that.

If you took your time I think you could actually pick a lock with her.

Submitted by crazyinjapan on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 8:07am.

She makes me want to holler, "Stand up straight!" like my momma did at me when I was a skinny girl with a slouch. Let's feed her some mashed potatoes & gravy and make her walk around with a book on her head.

Submitted by D.R. on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 7:51am.

"Submitted by dfanintheD on Wed, 02/15/2012 - 10:06pm.

Is it me, or does she look somewhat healthy in these photos?"

It's you. Sorry, she looks like a bag of sticks and the Red Cross should drop off emergency packages on her head.

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"Two whores don't make a right"-- M.K.

"Any guy who values stick thin and young over smarts and personality isn't worth it and has NOTHING interesting to say anyway."-- Mrs. Kravitz

Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 7:36am.

two of THE most unsufferable cuntresses
http://dlisted.com/node/45066/images/spl360919_012.jpg

Damn would it kill ya to slap on a smile once in a while? Fuck. You're rich beyond belief I know I'd be clicking my heels all the live long fucking day.

Submitted by Teresaswan on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 7:22am.

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Submitted by Dgrin on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 7:17am.

she looks so much better without the fake tan

Submitted by lovesmesomeblackdick on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 7:09am.

I love her...and her beautiful family...and especially her husband...damn he is so hot!

Submitted by TexnDoc on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 7:10am.

What kind of "GREAT Britain" campaign would launch with two sour faced Brits who look miserable they're there and you know would never set foot in a tube otherwise. "Hilariously awkward" is right. Anna looks positively sweet and warm in that crowd.

Submitted by Suzy Farkis on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 7:05am.

AW will likely never forgive her for her WAG phase which was horrendous. New baby, three other kids, and a collection to finish and show to put on, I'm surprised she's able to stand upright. Hey, at least she's not using meth or coke to stay awake.

Submitted by just_lurking on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 7:00am.

she is absolutely charming and adorable in interviews - my guess is she's incredibly insecure. look at her face in these pics. it's like she's a high school loser who's mother gave her a glamour makeover and dropped her off at the popular girl's party - she looks just like the other girls but still doesn't feel like she fits in. she's mentioned being insecure about her teeth, and i'd also venture to guess she's insecure about getting laugh lines, etc. hell, if i were married to becks, i'd be insecure about bedhead!

as bitchy as she looks in pics, i cannot hate on this girl.

Submitted by EmmaG.Frost on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 6:12am.

She looks like a fucking mail order Russian bride...WTF????

“You're so unpleasant even I'm impressed. Do you visit orphanages to explain there's no Santa?”
Emma Grace Frost

Submitted by its like_ MJ_like on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 5:06am.

From what I've heared from somebody who knows her, she actually is very funny. Don't know why she keeps the prune look alive...
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She was also a 'raging nymphomaniac.'"

Submitted by Anonymousfckr on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 4:48am.

what thaaa fuuuck is Anna wearing? What is that? Is she auditioning for that 70s show? What an unfortunate combination for a photo op

Submitted by Chris Knight on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 4:24am.

http://celebslam.celebuzz.com/2012/02/ali-lohan-lips.php

Submitted by Chris Knight on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 4:22am.

http://socialitelife.com/jared-leto-wears-a-fancy-faux-fur-accessory-to-...

Submitted by Thamar on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 4:18am.

"Doc, I don't want to fly anymore"
Posh looks timeless here. Anna seems to be going for something but does not work at all. Body language with arms akimbo makes her look very insecure. Wintour oughta ride the subway. She is an ass they say for reals and definitely Looks it here. Go Victoria! My outta my ass guess is Posh could easily run Vogue. Sure made a fortune for herself.

Submitted by Anonymousfckr on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 3:28am.

I was living in London while she was at the hight of her fame post-Spice Girls era.. She was everywhere on tv interviews, every week a dozen magazine interviews... She actually has a great sense of humour. But I don't see why she chose to embrace the bitch face instead. I quite like her.

Submitted by mortadella pianist on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 3:27am.

With all that she has she just NEVER looks happy...

Submitted by grunge_hippy on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 3:10am.

her make up artist needs to be shot!

Submitted by Thamar on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 2:33am.

Posh is thinner than Anna Cuntour!!!

Doc, I don't want to fly anymore"

Submitted by lolainchesaway on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 2:29am.

The more I look at her picture the more the line between Christina Ricci and Posh starts to blur.

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"The world needs a clothing line for Barstow pussy peddlers turned Reno strippers turned Texas trophy wives turned Boca retirees."-MK
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Submitted by Haribo on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 2:08am.

she's in nyc...that lucky bitch. my fave city in the whole world :(

'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'

Submitted by Haribo on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 2:03am.

she looks great! if i didn't 'know' her i would never have guessed she has 4 kids.

'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'

Submitted by sinjin on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 2:00am.

I like her. Always have. I've seen an interview with Perez, she DID come across as self-deprecating and funny. Not arrogant at all.

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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)

"No woman should be deprived of peen....young, old, fat or skinny..there's someone out there who would fuck you." -Event Hor

Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 1:52am.

yawn.

Submitted by WWJDFAKB on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 1:13am.

She looks good for looking like she hasn't slept in days, long hair looks better on her too.

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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?

http://chakrakahn.tumblr.com/

Submitted by One-trick Pony on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 12:14am.

Submitted by IrishFury on Wed, 02/15/2012 - 11:23pm.
Submitted by One-trick Pony on Wed, 02/15/2012 - 10:12pm.

That photo is funny. I ain't ashamed: I really, really like Posh. I know she comes across as humorless and up-her-own-ass, but whenever I've see footage of her actually speaking, she has been quite funny and self-deprecating. Plus I love her family and think she's a good mama.

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I just saw this post and said the exact opposite of you a minute ago! Agree to disagree, then? LOL!

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Sounds like a plan, IF! And I usually agree with everything you write. Damn you, Posh, for ending our honeymoon!

Submitted by Andrei on Wed, 02/15/2012 - 11:44pm.

When is Trump's stupid face going to be off this site?

Submitted by jelliebean on Wed, 02/15/2012 - 11:05pm.

That's what I was thinking, there IS something different about her nose.

Submitted by CeeCee on Wed, 02/15/2012 - 11:02pm.

I haven't looked at a picture of her in a long time! When did she get the oink-oink taken off her nose?

Submitted by Vicvoc on Wed, 02/15/2012 - 10:54pm.

I dont understand Posh. What is the point of paying thousand of dollar in putting fake teeth if you are never going to smile?
http://www.cirugiasdeestrellas.com/2011/06/antes-y-despues-de-victoria-b...