Adam Levine's Dirty Hotel Towels Will End Up on eBay in 3..2...
Adam Levine and his creature of elegance girlfriend Anne V were both on Howard Stern yesterday morning and in between talking about whether or not Snookitina is chunkalicious, he educated the children on his fool-proof birth control method. Adam obviously gets his birth control method tips from drunk frat boys, high school douchebags and coked-up investment bankers, because he says that the secret to not knocking a ho up is pulling out before the jizz hits the ovary. YES, the tried and true pull-out method. The same method that is the reason why most of us are here now! THIS BITCH:
“This is the longest, most functional relationship I’ve ever been in, I don’t want to screw it up. [I use] a fool-proof birth-control system, [the pull-out method].”
Adam has a tattoo of an eagle spitting out a happy trail on his torso, but I still don't think bitch is this stupid. Dude was just telling jokes. Adam doesn't only use the pull-out method. This is Adam's true dumb-proof birth control method: Milliseconds after Adam drops a dollop of jizz in Anne's V, he pulls out, gets on his knees and softly whisper into her coochie, "Make way for Adam Levine's fetus fishes..." Anne's ovaries shut in half and hide behind her uterus until the coast is clear. They're not trying to procreate with Adam Levine.
And before your brain spits out images of Adam making a cum pool in Anne's belly button, he says that he usually jizzes in towels. It's easy cleanup and if he's in a hotel, he just leaves it on the floor for the housekeeper to clean up. Nasty cotton fucker! Why do I have a feeling that on an upcoming episode of My Strange Addiction, we're going to learn all about Ryan Seacrest's addiction to eating hotel towels.
via The Frisky
it sounds better if you change pullout method to money shot....
Oh yes, so manly. Let me trim my body hair with my Philips Body groomer. And that Jagger song. Shit, Mick still has more sex appeal at 100 then this pussy. Sick, sick, sick...
I really don't care about him, but I like his body type, although it would be nice if his shoulders were a little broader. His girlfriend isn't that attractive, in my opinion. I think he could do better.
Kudos to Mike for having the 'balls' to step up and get a vasectomy.
I used to say that I wanted to blow him until the top of my head caves in, but after seeing his house in last month's Architectural Digest, I'm dropping him.
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"She's Black & I'm Gay--- we create culture."
Oh, she's so going to get herself preggers.
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Please: It's "rahnday."
I think he could be more appealing if he didnt speak & lost the smug shit eating smirk...
As for the "pull out" method my friend swears by it for her & her husband. They did it that way until they wanted a kid after being married a few years & then she got pregnant after a few months of trying then they went back to pulling out & then stopped, had another child after a few months & I think are back to pulling out & their oldest is 3 years old & no pregnancies since then.
I dont understand it.
So he's not gay? And he really is that dumb? huh.
.
.
Except there's a bit of fluid on there BEFORE a dude ejaculates, and it has sperm in it. He's gonna end up paying child support to a groupie someday.
There's no foolproof method of birth control. Every kind has a flaw, from pulling out and rhythm to having your tubes tied.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Leave it for the housekeeper?? Did he really say that or is that a joke? I am a housekeeper and we have it hard enough. Pun intended. No really, motherfuckers that leave nasty messes are motherfuckers who don't tip are motherfuckers who's room's we fuck over
. We remember you.
Never gotten in trouble using the pull out so I won't throw shade.
Damnit. I really really want to like those tats...I love sleeves on guys...but I just can't stand him. And that come hither face, what is that supposed to be?
Gross.
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Do. Not. Want.
he is douchey, but that picture is the sexiest his face has ever looked to me.
Men dribble before they shoot. wrap it up is my policy, always.
With the exception of his tattoos, Adame is one of the hottest guys around, IMO. But I think his pull-out confession is a little TMI. I'd looove to know if he's hung, though.
Ewww. That's just nasty.
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"I prefer my pieces the same way I prefer my Slim Jims, long, lean and mute" --the incomparable MK
Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Wed, 02/22/2012 - 1:43pm.
I thought he was hot when Maroon 5 first came out, but now I find his face highly punchable.
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I totally agree!!! And he acts like him and his girlfriend are the hottest shit EVAH when in reality, she's as plain as vanilla !!!
Submitted by buttersparkle on Wed, 02/22/2012 - 3:15pm.
i worked as a housekeeper in for 3 years... and basically if there was a guy in the room there would be crusty cum-soaked towels...
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I love getting a glimpse behind the curtains! In this case, hurl... And yeah, after this, he SO IS a douche! ;0
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
"What is that strange clear liquid dripping out of my eye?"MK
This guy is hot from the neck up. I would break his skinny butt in half.
Alan Rickman...yum...
P.S. I can't believe that anybody on this planet would shag this smug little creep, even in their imaginations. How could you, when you could be fantasizing about Alan Rickman instead?
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"Sex can never be a politically neutral interaction as long as the interests of one party are by universal decree prioritized over the interests of the other." -- http://bit.ly/y8oRWL
"Nasty cotton fucker!" will be my new insult of choice.
I also once worked as a hotel maid. Never again. People are nasty.
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"Sex can never be a politically neutral interaction as long as the interests of one party are by universal decree prioritized over the interests of the other." -- http://bit.ly/y8oRWL
I think my 11 year old knows more than him and she knows next to nothing when it comes to these things.....
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www.dungeonhordes.com
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Submitted by buttersparkle on Wed, 02/22/2012 - 3:15pm.
i worked as a housekeeper in for 3 years... and basically if there was a guy in the room there would be crusty cum-soaked towels. used condoms stuck to the head board, wall, paintings, etc. lube all over the sheets. one time some "company" rented a room, took the mirror off the wall and drilled new holes into the wall beside the bed and hung it there. then set up cameras and made porn.. that was a mess. one time some assholes decided to have period sex and it was a g.d. mess. just so you know. anyway be nice to your housekeepers! they know who you are and know far too much about you. adam levine is a douchebag.
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I love stories like this. What other celebrities were disgusting?
The Douche is strong with this one!
Submitted by mike on Wed, 02/22/2012 - 3:52pm.
Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Wed, 02/22/2012 - 3:44pm.
The use of rubbers is FORBIDDEN in our house!
Well, if your sex partners have yet to reach sexual maturity, what's the point, really?
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BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!
*snarfs tea*
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 02/22/2012 - 3:41pm.
Guest, Sweetass:
http://youtu.be/JN2ntliE7FI
Bwhaaaaa!
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Levine has gone from a potential 'star fuck' to a curiosity fuck.
Just the once to ease my curiosity...just how good and selfless is he when it comes to fucking?
Mmmmmmmm
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America.. fuck yeah!
As much as I've always thought what a huge douche this guy is, I so would. I blame it on my period. Why? I have no idea.
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www.anervousticmotion.com
He is absurdly grotesque imo.
Slight, short, high-pitched, he probably squeeks when he orgasms. Ugh.
Pullout method led to Fairy which led to my tubes being tied.
Also....I would. And I'd cry afterward in a bleach bath.
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Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
She should be more worried about herpes and other STDs from this one!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Wed, 02/22/2012 - 3:44pm.
The use of rubbers is FORBIDDEN in our house!
Well, if your sex partners have yet to reach sexual maturity, what's the point, really?
I must add, though, that if this idiot fucks like
this and DOESN'T want kids, he's an asshole.
I guess his jizz doesn't MOVE LIKE JAGGER??? Otherwise it would penetrate Fort Knox??
I tell my OB/GYN that we use condoms. LIE!
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Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.
M.E.!! ty for DJing mama! I'm skeert to look at videos at work plus I have no sound, so...speaker nazis :p
Sweetas - OMG! Intervention: The Towlie Story
http://youtu.be/C1zzJIWKCMw
The use of rubbers is FORBIDDEN in our house!
Submitted by Provolone on Wed, 02/22/2012 - 1:51pm.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Wed, 02/22/2012 - 1:48pm.
When we wanted to get pregnant, he stayed inside. When we didn't, he didn't.
Where did he put it when he didn't?
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Hahahahahahaha! I was too vague there, wasn't I?
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Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.
Guest, Sweetass:
http://youtu.be/JN2ntliE7FI
Now that's what I call a premium douche. What an idiot
Submitted by TOPANGA on Wed, 02/22/2012 - 2:02pm.
This tool is so punchable, yet I would still prob hit it. Shame on me. And in this day and age, whith all of the birth control that is available, if you get pregnant you either want too or you are a Grade-A dumbass. No excuses.
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TROOF
I like the way unprotected sex feels much more than condomed sex....just make sure to pop your pill and make sure the person you're with gets tested and you'll be alright...
b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
"I'm doin hoe activities, with hoe tendencies. Hoes are my friends, hoes are my enemies."
He's lying. He's had the snip (just like meeeee).
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Wed, 02/22/2012 - 1:47pm.
Douche.
you know he sucks in bed too cause he never had to try.
*shudders*
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OMG LOL! And it's got to be true too
i worked as a housekeeper in for 3 years... and basically if there was a guy in the room there would be crusty cum-soaked towels. used condoms stuck to the head board, wall, paintings, etc. lube all over the sheets. one time some "company" rented a room, took the mirror off the wall and drilled new holes into the wall beside the bed and hung it there. then set up cameras and made porn.. that was a mess. one time some assholes decided to have period sex and it was a g.d. mess. just so you know. anyway be nice to your housekeepers! they know who you are and know far too much about you. adam levine is a douchebag.
Submitted by Sweetas on Wed, 02/22/2012 - 3:00pm.
LOL @ the rest of Adam's towels! ;))
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 02/22/2012 - 2:30pm.
Submitted by suckandfuck: "...I remember my sister having Seventeen magazine around when she was a little faggot girl and there was an article that was entitled "I DIDN'T HAVE SEX AND GOT PREGNANT ANYWAYYYYY!!" or something like that and it talked about how you could make babies with jizz being on your fat belly or something and then somehow the sperm crawl into your fish hole..."
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I've read stuff like that in teen magazines too! Dear Seventeen Magazine, this might be scientifically true, in the way that the Earth can always get hit by an asteroid. However, it is highly unlikely, unless you are about to engender the future Michael Phelps. I'm not advocating one thing or the other, but it has worked for me. Make plenty of sexy, never been preggo, no reason to think myself infertile. (In monogamous relationships, of course. Otherwise, wrap it up, IF AT ALL.)
How are artists/musicians/models so lax about raw-dogging it? Aren't they afraid of diseases? Pregnancy is the least of your problems!
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
*puts "Moves Like Jagger" in everyones' head for the rest of the day*
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Maybe one day, some hotel maid will file a paternity suit, this dumbass will swear he never fucked her, but she'll have dna tests on her side.
Hahaha guest, Towelie is a South Park character that was always getting high. Not surprisingly, I loved him. I wish I wasn't at work and I'd find you some video... I picked that pic cause he looked all messed up and pissed, kinda like the rest of Adam's towels lol
http://www.randomblog.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/towelie.jpg
Who told this clown Adam Levine that he was hot, or talented? He is nothing but douche.
I don't find him attractive at all.
He's a coked up ball of testosterone that is covered in ugly fucking tattoos and always has that "I'm the man" smirk on his face. His cock has got to be small if it's that easy to hide.
Then again, a lot of women have an inexplicable draw to douchebags.