From Becks' Balls To Eva's Balls
Posh Beckham is the sleepiest zombie in the graveyard, but she still had enough energy to pull herself out of her crypt to party with Eva Longoria and Kate Beckinsale at a Vanity Fair party in L.A. last night. Last week Posh was grabbing Becks' balls through the power of the optical illusion, this week she's grabbing on Eva's titty balls and let's hope that next week she's grabbing on a pair of meat balls from Ikea. That sinister "nibbling on the fat-free parts of your soul" smirk is scaring/scarring me! Posh looks like Mr. Burns dragging it up in disguise as a Pan Am flight attendant so that he can join the zombie mile high club by eating brains in the lavatory.
You know how at the end of the Haunted Mansion ride at Disneyland you face a mirror that shows ghosts and ghouls sitting on your head and shit? That's what this looks like. Although, Eva Longoria is too busy flirting with the camera to know that she's wearing a cold zombie hand bra.
That said, I'd rather see Posh's zombie hands over Eva's chesticles than the shit she's wearing. That dress is a world of NO on Eva. If my free clinic therapist held up one of these pictures of Eva and asked me what I see in her titty area, I'd say I see two side shadowy profiles of the triangle bird from Angry Birds and a whole lot of desperation. Eva just doesn't have the demure grace of Courtney Stodden and Anne V to pull off a dress of elegance like this.
Posh, Ger some seep
Eva, go find a more modeSt dress
kATE, KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON!
Posh-meh
Kate-I met her in Santa Monica. She is absolutely stunning. And really nice, she was super cool.
Eva-no talent, fugly, desperate as shit. Why the hell is she a celebrity?
She always looks like she can barely move with her tight clothes and high heels. I doubt someone who really has to take care of children would dress like that. Not to mention her hair-ripping extensions that have left bold spots on her scalp and the giant sunglasses she always wears outside. Has she even seen the light of day without them for the last 10 years?
Wait, did anyone spy the gal in the polka dot dress? Talk about not dressing your age - or ERA. That's the wrong side of 1987, right there. I bet she bathed in some preserved eBay-bought Electric Youth before leaving the house.
Posh looks so much younger without a tan- or maybe it's a pound of baby weight filling out her face.
Eva is such a try-hard. I still see the fresa with wave bangs pre-nose job in her.
Posh is still impeccable but she needs a bit more tongue in cheek in her look. Here she channels "The Ring" - for serious, haha! Kate is stunning! Eva, copper spray tan? ;P
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"Nasty cotton fucker!" MK
"Gas station bathrooms should only be entered if you are on fire or in a zombie movie" ~ cracked.com
Osteoporosis, the future for Posh. Instead of being a bag of bones, she'll be a bag of broken bones.
"No matter how cynical you become, it's impossible to keep up." - Lily Tomlin
Sorry, posted twice.
She may have the clothes etc but it means jack shit when your husband is in good old London town not so long ago and fucks around on you? Oh he isn't? Ah trust. He is.. She can thank the media for letting all his hook ups here go unreported.
Let's just say his "tears of joy when seeing Harper" quickly vanish when presented with some womanly shapes.
I don't care what anyone says I would love to look like Vicky.
I was wondering what happened to Becks' hair - all stringy and dull - and then I noticed Jessica Simpson's former hair-doer standing behind her in the third thumbnail.
@Precocious
I had to Google Matarazzo. As it turns out I've seen her mug before (she has some features that stick to mind, ahem). The reference to Beckinsale made me LOL. To give credit where credit is due: Kate has impressed me with her choice of a husband, though.
http://theskinnywebsite.com/site/2011/02/kate-beckinsale-and-family-go-h...
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"We are here on earth to do good for others.
What the others are here for, I don't know."
W.H. Auden
I think Posh is vain and ridiculous, but I'll take her over that science project Beckinsale any day. Have you people waxing ho-etic about her "beauty" ever seen the Befores? She looks like Heather Matarazzo on a bad day at the orthodontist. Bitch is fug and can't act.
Anorexic Spice looks greasy as always and high as fuck
You know, I like Posh here, looking like "Playful Goth Emily Strange" Posh instead of the usual "Without Irony Taking Myself Much Too Seriously" Posh.
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We worked hard for our money! So hard for it, honey!
Hands up how many "working regular just like any other mums" can go to fashion shows even though they are exhausted trying to give orders to the 6 nannies, 12 maids, 4 butlers, 2 chaffeurs, 4 makeup artists, 4 hair stylists, 1 personal trainer????
poor victoria
slow down you crazy child, you're so ambitious for a no talent bitch, but then if you're so smart, tell me why are you still so afraid of anna wintour?
Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?
You'd better cool it off before you burn it out
You've got so much to do and only so many hours in a day.
But you know that when the truth is told..
That you can get what you want or you get old, yes GET OLD, You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through,
When will you realize, Vogue USA is not waiting for you?
I've never seen Victoria looking sexier. I am not joking. She has that certain I just have to have you thing.... and I;m not even a lesb.
ScarfnBarf, agree. But the peek-a-boo-toe boot...no.
Although I eat like a pig, I'm skinny, so can empathize with the eatamealwhydoncha barbs.
Hey, she doesn't show her cooch, fuck around (that I've heard of) or drop her kids on the pavement to save a drink, so what's to hate?
Posh looks impeccable as always. She may be a sleepy zombie, but damn - girl knows how to dress and accessorize to perfection. AND she has her toenails done. <3<3<3
Wow, she still looks shit/tired with a folic acid deficiency. Eat some grains girl!! It would do you good.
Gosh, she does look near dead. Must be from trying so hard to not come across as a WAG. Points for not doing the fake tan, fake titty balls in a corset anymore, but jeez, the mannequin look is not in either...
GG, as they say, I can't knock the hustle...I know she needs a man but good grief chile...guys like a lil' mystery.
also, that dress is ugly as hell. :D
ditquoi - I know huh!
oh Eva you're so desperate. :D
She seems like such a blast to hang out with.
posh really does look like a drug addcit but i'm sure this is not the case. maybe she's tired? i dunno...she's pretty though. her boots, on the other hand...not so much.
eva and kate are hot!
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
take the one in the background called "pale tranny" and she is naturally prettier than any of those made up women. by a lot.
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Posh Beckham is one of the Seven Signs of the Apocalypse.
Posh is pretty, but not hold her own in a photo with Kate Beckinsale pretty (few are though)
Kate Beckinsale has that same quality that Gwenyth Paltrow used to have when she was younger where she is just so flawlessly pretty that other's look worse in comparison. I normally think Cate Blanchet is far prettier than Gwenyth, but then you see them next to one another in Talented Mr. Ripley and suddenly Cate looks a bit bulbous and squinty.
Posh said that when she was in high school people thought she was black.
Like, I can't even...
They both look like ladyboys of BangCOCK.
Yes, Wednesday Adams indeed.
Posh really does look post mortem. She was so pretty back in her Spice Girls days. Her face hasn't even really appeared to age. If she'd get off of that goddamned one cracker a week diet, she'd probably be hot again. As for Eva, I've always thought her face was super cute. However, spray tans are no ones friend (unless you happen to be an oompa loompa), and she does not have the body for that dress. Kate could have pulled it off. Would have been better than that pink disaster she wore. Me thinks her stylist hates her because of her pretty.
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“I always listen to 'NSYNC's Tearin' Up My Heart. It reminds me to wear a bra.” - BritBrit
Submitted by LaChaylo on Fri, 02/24/2012 - 5:11pm.
Lol - I think it is.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 02/24/2012 - 4:28pm.
"and Eva has nice boobs."
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Really, jack? How could you tell?
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Posh is the most non-emo emo person ever.
Submitted by IrishFury on Fri, 02/24/2012 - 4:20pm.
HA!HA! Thanks, IF, I rest my case!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Fuck aside from all that other shit Posh even in a bad color has charisma…unfortunately in the same way as a heroin addict nodding off on a street corner.
Submitted by annobanano on Fri, 02/24/2012 - 4:35pm.
I'm pretty sure I owned that polka dot dress in 1990. The shoes - NEVER.
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LMAO! The dress is so Reality Bites! That's Khloe, no?
That Posh chick is not attractive at all.
Are the women in England so ugly that Posh is considered one of the English Roses?
Bleech.
No one has written about Eva in a while, so he had to come out and show her flapjacks off.
Beckingsdale usually dresses better, but not tonight.
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Grow up, Demi, and do coke off toilet seats like the rest of us adults do!- Michael K, 1/26/12
I fucking hate Kate Beckinsale.
Posh looks like some serial killer. Mental case. She'd actually be very good at it in a film with that look. "I'm going to slice off these. Oh yes I am."
WTF is with the constant misery Posh? Does you have postpartum or something? Lighten up!
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"I bet his crotch looks like an uncooked dough cigar lying on a bed of saffron" MK
being a dilettante can be exhausting!
Posh, in the beauty industry, is a “winter”. Every human on the planet is a season no matter what their genetics dictate. Nothing depends on color but simply on ONE THING- what is the contrast of the eye shade versus skin shade? A “spring” would be Cheryl Tiegs who would look good in this blue. Posh like Angelina Jolie (pulls out knife) Liz Taylor and countless others cannot wear a mid tone blue- it has to be rich or else you get this. Winters can wear all black excepted faded black, all white except off white. Beige for winters is horrible unless it has a dark green tone. A way I describe a winter to people is I ask them to imagine an all-white snowed upon acre of land with one tree in the middle, leafless, a tree that would be a very dark *contrast* to the white snow. Dark navy blue, midnight blue, dark (dark) purple work so fucking good trust that. Winters leeway are reds, they can wear a lot of them. No orange, ever. Wearing the right color adds youth and vitality to the face, the wrong color- age spots, bags under the eyes, every wrinkle shows. This is absolutely goes for both men and women.
Fuckin' classy, I am not stingy! I will let you wear kate's dress....you will find it wadded on the floor by the foot of the bed. :)
And don't feel bad, I like pouty's boots that everybody hates....
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I've got ten bucks and me and dirty eddie are staying out all weekend! - Rob Pue (thank you BBitch and Sweetas)
The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
That would be some careful sex. The clacking of hip bones would wake the neighbors.
Submitted by urmomma on Fri, 02/24/2012 - 4:39pm.
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Fri, 02/24/2012 - 4:32pm.
All that said, I need Kate's dress. And my hands on her ass. Seriously, look at DAT ASS (last pic)
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I called dibs! Scroll down! *throws hands in air and does victory dance*
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Oh not fair, man! Come on and share!!
And I think Kate's dress, the one pretty much errbody but me hated, is by Posh. I still like it.
*runs for cover*
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"All great truths begin as blasphemies." - George Bernard Shaw
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Fri, 02/24/2012 - 4:32pm.
All that said, I need Kate's dress. And my hands on her ass. Seriously, look at DAT ASS (last pic)
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I called dibs! Scroll down! *throws hands in air and does victory dance*
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I've got ten bucks and me and dirty eddie are staying out all weekend! - Rob Pue (thank you BBitch and Sweetas)
The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
Posh - cheezeburger. HAZ ONE!
I'm pretty sure I owned that polka dot dress in 1990. The shoes - NEVER.