The Unborn Baby Ewok In Snooki's Womb Is Ruining The Creative Integrity Of Her Shit Show
Enfamil immediately stopped production of their new White Russian version of their formula after who would've been their #1 customer, Snooki, denied that her midget Hulk boyfriend Jionni LaValle smushed a baby up into her. The Rapture was canceled and we were all told it was safe to go outside again, or so we thought. Page Six says that Snooki's booze sponge of a womb IS full of baby and she denied it because she was in the middle of trying to whore out the news for a dollar to the tabloids. The Rapture is back on, Enfamil can start up the conveyor belt again and we can tell the children that they're going to be the last of our kind since the world will soon end when roidy orange gremlin babies eat our entire supply of booze.
P6's source says that UsWeekly paid for the news and will put it on one of their upcoming covers as soon as they get creative approval from Lucifer since that issue will also become the new bible in Hell. Another source says that although Snooki being knocked the hell up is good news for her checking account, it's bad news for the MTV reality show she's shooting in Jersey City with JWoww (see pictures below) right now. The source put it like this:
“MTV went into crisis mode after they found out. They’re trying to hide it because it would greatly affect the creative direction of the show. ”
The "creative direction" of any MTV show leads us all directly to the bottom of a dumpster and I don't see how that shit has to change. The only difference is that instead of giving Snooki a plastic trash can full of economy-sized booze jugs from Costco and a tanning bed, they just have to give her TWO plastic trash cans full of economy-sized booze jugs from Costco and an extra-strength tanning bed since she's boozing and tanning for two now.
News like this calls for a song from Snooki's native land! Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-we're fucked.
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Their baby is going to look like Chuy.
I hope people understand that the man in the relationship might be 5 feet tall and that without her heels, minus an inch she's an actual "little person". Not that there's anything wrong with miniature people, and we know miniature drunken people are hilarious, add in dipped in orange and you are hitting all the right notes, but in this case there is going to be some sort of life form wreaking of vodka when it's born. MTV should be worried about that and not the creative direction of any of their retardfest shows.
I can't understand why people on THIS blog, of all places, are criticizing Snooki for being a drunken slut! What the hell is wrong with drunken sluts, except that punishment of their kind sometimes causes their numbers to contract? Let's hear it for drunken sluts!
The problem with Snooki is that she's loud and dumb, period. Loud and dumb = not okay. Drunken slut = okay. Let's get it straight people.
Snooki is delightfully out-there and mentally innocent (as in, LOOK: is she shooting your kids up with heroin? Is she fucking your husband? Is she plotting to sell nuclear secrets to North Korea? NO! She's just a fun-loving dipshit reality-show drunk, but this fantastic giggling, drunk orangutan is probably right near the front of the line of God's worldwide fertile candidate's "no-birth" list. How'd SHE get thru security?
Submitted by chasing windmills on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 1:47pm.
Some people don't consider a palmetto to be a cockroach
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Gasp! You are right, they are rodents! Haha
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"The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here." MK
This is why some species eat their young.
I think it is interesting that some young women think that equality equals the mentality of "I can drink and smoke like a man". Ummm, that is not exactly what the message should be. The message should be "equality" in the workplace, rights, etc. I fear for the younger generation. I am not that old, but I am not 15-20 something, which I think is the age group of this crapfest?
I saw her on Ellen, and I was mystified by how ridiculously stupd she was. For her sake, I hope this is just an act (maybe to make more $$)? I hope so, really.
"We represent the lollipop guild...the lollipop guild...the lollipop guild..."
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"One does not simply walk into Mordor..."
Tell me she doesn't really drink like the portrayal on MTV. Otherwise she is having a child with fetal alcohol syndrome.
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... the sanctity of marriage gave up, moved to Reno and now works the 1am-6am shift at strip club under the name Sanctitty Mirage.
I am beyond hoffified
If it comes out with abs and a face like Popeye we know she's been into the Situation again.
Is he a Hobbit? It probably should go without saying that he's obviously cognitively impaired to the point of needing a guardian if he put a baby in that one.
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami
That guy really looks like a midget. The last thing these drunken midgets need is a baby.
_fail_ , she dry humped the Situation’s asshole
$10 says the Situation will lay claim to that spawn.
Who cares about this skanky, vile, brainless piece of shit! I hope she's not pregnant because of the shit that poor kid will go through with having a cheap slut for a mother.
We represent the lollipop guild and welcome you to Munchkin Land tra la la la la
I really hope its Vinnies.
And, the world is definitely ending in 2012.
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
Ridiculous. The current show, the spin-off, her choice in men, etc.
their baby is going to look like a crispy piece of bacon before its first birthday.
Submitted by charlie loves tiger on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 12:55pm.
truer words were never typed.
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
Save the sweet nectar ! ! Hide it, hide it.
Why is MTV in a panic? Reality TV is most successful when they make shows about inept parents! "Toddlers and Tiaras", "Teen Mom", "The Real Housewives", "Mob Wives" etc.
Come ON. Women LOVE to judge other women's parenting abilities!
This is just what Snooks have always said she wanted. Now she can go buy a house somewhere in Jersey, raise her kid and become the mother at the PTA meetings the other mothers talk about. I hope she finds a good father for the kid, cause this jamoke ain't in it for the long haul.
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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.
I swear, there's some kind of connection between high fertility and stupidity.
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
http://chakrakahn.tumblr.com/
Submitted by charlie loves tiger on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 12:55pm.
Like my neighbor across the street who has lived in Florida for 20 years and told me she has never, ever seen a cockroach. And then she went in the hospital and I was over there feeding her cat and across the kitchen floor ran a cockroach the size of Texas. I told her about it and she was like: if you see it again, save it. Because maybe I've seen one and just didn't know what it was. Now that is a loonie/no reason liar. Just a stupid no reason liar. The kind I hate. Maybe she thought the roach was a wildebeest.
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Some people don't consider a palmetto to be a cockroach
speaking of roaches, this orange one kinda resembles one...
This is what happens when the fat, promiscuous elves get kicked out of Keebler village.
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
She won't have any trouble pushing out that kid with the combined greasiness of both of them.
I am so over the Jersey Shore assholes.
I keep hoping they will all die at the same time in a huge ball of drunk-driving flame and maybe something positive can come from their existence.
How did this even happen? This mini looks to have a penis the size of a bean pod.
what the fuck with snookies pants? what the fuck is that? thumbs down, back to drawing board whoever designed that SHIT
"Shut up, bitch - it hurts to be beautiful" - Richie K. 2005
Her bf looks like a closet bottom freak just dying to prove to his parents he is as phony derpy as the rest by having a baby so he can then go on a decade long dl fuck fest while thinking nobody suspects. Him and the situation love to grab squeeze and fondle others mens pecs.
There are too many snookies in America. Some women like to act all tough and/or “funny” doing exactly what a man would do- but guess what? Yup, you’re allowed and nobody cares. In 2012 America is not “oh look at me I can fuck, smoke, do drugs, drink, fight and pig giggle ! I should get a fist pump if men do!” its “oh look at me I can be as much of a HILLBILLY as ANYONE else”.
Eeeeenjoooy living in a Crayola box of snookies of different ages sizes and economic backgrounds? Enjoy the fact they are producing kids but not money as time goes on? I am wondering in the past twenty years - what is the average age a parent gives a more milkweed approach to “parenting”, in other words gives up on their kid- 14ish? Earlier?
I don't recognize JWOWW's face anymore. Its a shame because she was naturally cute to begin with. Now she looks like a generic plastic surgery victim.
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
I'm gonna quote Sweetas--"Hold out for the C-section little one. You don't wanna slide down that."
Appreciate it Cuppy. :(
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
There is a fallacy that is taught from a young age that one should never lie. And that lying is always wrong. It is perpetuated by parents who don't want their kids sneaking in the cookie jar or fib telling about unsavory activities. In reality, people lie all the time. People lie to protect themselves, others, keep from hurting feelings, etc. The difference is whether or not the lie is malicious and/or hurting someone else or for no reason. And the frequency of lying. And I've heard many people say: I never lie! That's when I know I'm dealing with the biggest liar that ever lied and probably a malicious one. Like my neighbor across the street who has lived in Florida for 20 years and told me she has never, ever seen a cockroach. And then she went in the hospital and I was over there feeding her cat and across the kitchen floor ran a cockroach the size of Texas. I told her about it and she was like: if you see it again, save it. Because maybe I've seen one and just didn't know what it was. Now that is a loonie/no reason liar. Just a stupid no reason liar. The kind I hate. Maybe she thought the roach was a wildebeest. Fuck off, lady. But Snookie can lie tell if she wants about this. It is her decision when she wants people to know.
If I were man and that short, I'd probably kill myself.
This is a joke right? She's not really pregnant right?
*kisses own ass goodbye*
Submitted by guest on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 12:46pm.
Man, that sucks! Sorry for your friend. It usually is the good ones that are let go and the useless ones continue on.
OT: something craptastic just happened to one of the sweetest & bestest people I know. she's prolly gonna be let go from her job of 14 years today. *MAJOR SADS* trust when I say she of all people does not need to be the one.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
isn't there a law that prevents skin crawling midgets from breeding...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
My 10 yr old daughter said snooki was "cute". I sent her to her room forever.
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I've got ten bucks and me and dirty eddie are staying out all weekend! - Rob Pue (thank you BBitch and Sweetas)
The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
Wow, she went on that diet for nothing. She's going to blow up like Chestica Simpson. And seriously, can she stop drinking for 9 months? Poor little chunky monkey baby.
What?! Wait! Snooki ist PREGNANT?
Can you call CPS when a baby is in the womb still?
What is her new show going to be about? Downing shots in between pregnancy cravings for pickles? Stumbling around in the hospital room, knocking over gurneys before she pops the baby out?
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Live Long and Prosper!!
Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 12:35pm.
Awww.
http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2011/3/2/ee1a3caa-41c2-447a-...
Haaaaaaaaaa!! Not the Mama, Not the Mama!!!
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 12:31pm.
Well, you are here, so that means if anything happened, you survived!
I thought I was the only nerd in bed by 10pm most nights!
On topic- I wonder if that bebeh will come out orange? *shudders*
Awww.
http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2011/3/2/ee1a3caa-41c2-447a-...
what the fuck does this ho have on?? zebra globe earrings, cheetah shoes, and whatever the fuck is around her waist....i just can't.
I think even pedophiles marvel and cringe at the sickness of a pervert who performs a sexual act on THAT.
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You got a lot of money, but you can't afford the freeway
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 02/29/2012 - 12:28pm.
Not that I know of... I was in bed by 10, though. The ground was soaking wet when I got up this morning so I know it rained... nothing wakes me up lol
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"wah I don't want to marry some psycho bitch!" ~ Dr. Suck N Fuck