Wednesday, March 7th 2012
Open Post: Hosted By A Falling Model
It's not fashion week until you've seen a model do the newborn giraffe wobble while walking down the runway. If you're that driver on the highway who passes a car-in-trauma with its hazard lights on, then you're totally that model in the jumpsuit who's like, "Beep beep, bye bitch."
via SayOMG
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Submitted by CheeryBitch on Thu, 03/08/2012 - 2:59am.
Wow. That's sad, CheeryBitch. What is it about money that just brings out the most vile, evil worst in people? I'm sorry you had to go through that. :(
Submitted by Spaz de la Whoreta on Thu, 03/08/2012 - 3:43am.
Spaz De la Whoreta, it's kind of complicated. There was a separate will and separate trust fund and his wife altered them both and had him sign the updated will and trust fund stuff three days before he died.
My big bro was named executor of the trust fund because he's the eldest son and also a lawyer himself. Because of all of the shenanigans with the last-minute changes of authority and whatnot regarding the will and trust fund, none of us would have even known our Uncle had left us ANYTHING if not for CD being a total ditz and trying to cash out the trust fund and the banker being confused and calling my Big Bro to confirm!
I'm really heart-sick over all of this. It makes me feel like I'm going to puke because it's just so damned nasty and low-down.
My big bro wasn't trying to be underhanded though, he really just wanted to settle and sew everything up as neatly as possible so that we all got SOMETHING out of the deal. The problem is, a lot of my sibs are hurting financially and cutting their inheritance in half by Big Bro just to get it done pissed them off (because Big Bro is wealthy and doesn't understand how a lot of us are struggling).
The worst thing is to feel grief AND anger combined. It's unhealthy. I'm almost willing to throw my hands up and tell my sibs they can have my part of the inheritance so that it can all end even though I badly need that money just as much as they do.
Poor Uncle. He was such a good person and a great politician too who did wonderful things for his community.
He will be missed always.
Love you Unc!
ohdave - you mailed some of what's going on here, for sure. Not the first time I've admired your insight. :) If my brother ever talks to me again, I will be sure to let him know I appreciate him, as well.
I don't want to take up too much more space with my woes but - thank you! and thanks to Bizaarelife. KA, PBunny, Thamar, Spaz, WithinReason...
*orchestra begins to play walk-off music...*
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We worked hard for our money! So hard for it, honey!
Wow. It's like a new type of bowling.
__________________________________________________
"Two whores don't make a right"-- M.K.
"Any guy who values stick thin and young over smarts and personality isn't worth it and has NOTHING interesting to say anyway."-- Mrs. Kravitz
:) I will Harperharper!
I just googled images of Othilia Simon. UGLY and looks like a guy. Is she transgender?
I just googled images of Othilia Simon. UGLY and looks like a guy. Is she transgender?
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Thu, 03/08/2012 - 12:27pm.
GG - your husband sounds super classy. Just reading about him gives me hope for mankind! Give him a kiss from me :)))
"Shalikla!"
" she brought him in so he has to see her out."
Mr. Gardening Girl is a fine man indeed.
We talked for a while and he just said at the end she brought him in so he has to see her out. *************
Classy all the way, GG.
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I've got ten bucks and me and dirty eddie are staying out all weekend! - Rob Pue (thank you BBitch and Sweetas)
The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Thu, 03/08/2012 - 12:27pm.
"If my husband isnt bitter then why should I."
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Very positive attitude... good for you.
_____________________________________________
"wah I don't want to marry some psycho bitch!" ~ Dr. Suck N Fuck
Hi everyone. I want to thank you all for the advice you gave me yesterday. I took it and didnt bitch at my husband about paying for his mothers funeral. We talked for a while and he just said at the end she brought him in so he has to see her out. Poor man! She missed out on knowing what a terrific, smart and funny guy he turned out to be. She never knew her grandsons nor got to know her oldest son either. Ultimately it is her loss. If my husband isnt bitter then why should I. So thanks Dlisted family. I owe you alot.
still no answer on the status of Manny, huh?... alrighty then!
you all are gonna rue the day, when you're needing pancakes!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Manimal5, where for art thou Manimal?
We haven't chatted but you make me laugh.
Please come back Manimal.
You too CSG. Get yo' booty back here. You make me laugh as well.
TelevisedRevolution, I have been a caregiver and it was very stressful. I'm glad I did it now but it was like being under house arrest at the time. It helps to talk to someone about it because a lot of the feelings you have about it will seem incomprehensible and ugly to someone that hasn't done it. I think there is a possibility that your brother may also feel trapped, may feel guilty or unwilling to face these feelings in himself, and so has a problem seeing them expressed by someone else. Anger is easier to feel than sadness. There is no doubt lots of other stuff going on, too.
My advice is to talk to a counselor where you can express everything. Also, try to appreciate what your brother does, and let him know you do. In return he may be able to soften a little. If he feels that you see his role as unimportant, and yourself as the one doing it all, he is naturally going to resent that. This means he has a place to safely channel ALL of his resentment and so you get it all. He can't face being resentful about the situation he is in, so he will direct all of that at you. He is under pressure, too. I'm not trying to say you are doing something wrong. It just might help to see a possible reason he isn't talking.
Take care of yourself.
Yes! Where *IS* Manimal?! Is he gone for good or did he just change his username?
******************
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Nightowl!
The fashion world is a fucked up, misogynistic, vacuous empire. So it's good to see two of the starving models actually help another starving model to stand up. Those high-heels are ridiculous, it's a wonder more models don't tumble over while wearing them.
whoa, whoa, whoa!!!!
wait just one damn second, here!!!!
what in THE FUCK is up with Manimal5 being black text, without his avie?!?!
from what i'm gathering, we've lost CSG, and i'm already pissed on that, but what the fuck happened that Manny bugged out?
i better get an answer about this stuff out of one or the other of you dirty sluts!!
... and carrying on with the whole "dance" theory...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tESLeLhYg0M
i expect an answer to this fuckery when i get back, or i will be forced to... well... uummm... i will be forced to... withhold pancakes on all of your worst hangover days!... yeah!... deal with that!!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
I just can't laugh at this. That model probably hasn't had real food in a week and is too weak to walk. Look how thin they all are!
Submitted by Dr. Ruth on Thu, 03/08/2012 - 2:50am.
I always thought that trusts were set up separate from wills so that the stuff in trusts didn't have to go through probate and all that. I vote for taking it to a lawyer.
In lieu of a song... When Baryshnikov defected, he was such a big deal. I think everyone went to see White Knights because of him. All I remember of the movie was the plane crash, which seemed so real, and the dancing. I had never seen Gregory Hines before. Their styles are different; I liked Hines better, maybe ballet was too elitist. http://youtu.be/0qDGVHy5iTM
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Thu, 03/08/2012 - 3:08am.
*dances two inches off moo cow legs for ESE*
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*unicycles through thread*... *makes perfect stop at liquor cabinet*... *turns*... *waves*...
yep, just passin' through to see if there's people following instructions!
*smooches Mickey bovine's fuzzy nose*...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1F2l0U0U7Q
you all just carry right on with your bad selves, alright?!...
*unicycles out thread*
-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
*dances two inches off moo cow legs for ESE*
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"We are here on earth to do good for others.
What the others are here for, I don't know."
W.H. Auden
Submitted by Event Horizon on Wed, 03/07/2012 - 9:29pm.
XD! Am I going to hell for laughing at this?
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Nah, it is funny, but kind of awesome, too. There is a guy verrry similar to this one with a super loud monotone voice that comes to my workplace quite often. He knows every detail about the place-history, coming events, etc-usually knows more than the employees. Aaand, he likes to tell everyone around him about it all. He always brightens my day!
Dr. Ruth, been there! My Grandmother passed away and left a very nice sum to each of us grandkids and my mother (her only child). While we were extremely thankful, my youngest sister went PSYCHO, fighting for every last penny she could. It was a NASTY mess (and I still have her vile emails and texts to prove it). Money brings out the WORST in people.
I vote to look into contesting the will and seeing how much it will cost. I'm all about principle. CD and brother don't deserve a dime. If it's excessive, vote as a family on what to do. Don't let this pull you apart and build resentment. Money is an evil thing.
Submitted by TelevisedRevolution on Thu, 03/08/2012 - 2:40am.
Hi back, TelevisedRevolution. Thank you for lending an ear. :)
You bring up a lot of the back and forth arguments that have been going on in our family right now. Some of us are resigned to just let things go and not fight it out and some of us are more inclined to fight tooth and nail to do justice to our Uncle's last wishes.
The worst part is, he hated his wife's son who was a constant mooch (he often mentioned his distaste of her son to other family members). Interestingly, the will change also makes her son the beneficiary of ALL of her and Uncle's assets should she die. If I were her, I'd be watchin' her own damned back because her son is known as a trifling, low-down money grubber.
In situations like this (when people are still in quite a bit of grief), money is usually the last thing on your mind and fighting over money even the last last last thing on your mind.
I feel so bad for my Uncle. He doesn't deserve this, nor do any of us nieces and nephews.
Off to bed.
Night and thank you again for your input.
Hey People:
Thanks so much for all the advices:) From what I can tell, it's too early for hospice, because she is still getting aggressive treatment, but there are more places I can access for support servies. It looks like I will be here for the duration.
I used to be able to go to the Ocean when things got really rough - not an option in Sin City!
I think I just need to find a good therapist/counselor type, is all :)
Anyway, she's sleeping now, and I am going to space out on some "Mobsters" on the Biography channel. For some reason, whatever John Lurie marrates is perfection.
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We worked hard for our money! So hard for it, honey!
Hey Dr. Ruth:
First of all, ain't it nice to have someplace you can go and just vent like that, and know people will hear you? Dlisted is the bomb-diggety sometimes.
Second - people can disappoint you when it comes down to the wire. Did you know Cruella was like this - a shady character - before she played herself like that at the end?
I understand your gratitude about the money. On the other hand, CD is a thief, the worst kind because she took advantage of a vulnerable person who trusted her and couldn't defend himself. I can see wanting to bring this woman to justice and not let her get away with anything - but I can see your point of view, too.
Try to imagine how you will feel five years from now - will you wish that you had proven that she took advantage of a dying man, or that you decided not to expend the energy and walked away? What would your uncle have wanted?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
We worked hard for our money! So hard for it, honey!
Just getting something off my chest.
So, my Uncle dies (who had no children of his own) and my Uncle's second and last wife has him sign a re-write of his will three days before he died. Then, she tries to cash out the 'trust' fund that he had set up for all of us nieces and nephews and the banker made a mistake and called my older brother which is how we found out what her shady ass was up to.
So, my big bro tries to write up a deal with (I will call her "Cruella Deville" to protect her identity) to make a settlement. My Uncle's original will left all of us $20,000.00 each and Big bro tried to cut a deal for us each to get $10,000.00 each (without consulting us first).
Soooo, now all of my brothers and sisters are pissed off at Big bro AND Cruella Deville because 'CD' probably forced Uncle into signing something while he was suffering or even barely incoherent (or she forged his signature altogether), and, all of the sibs are also furious at Big Bro for trying to negotiate a deal with 'CD' without even consulting all of us first.
The hard part is, I never expected a dime from my very generous Uncle, and, so, even 10,000 dollars is nothing to sneeze about and I'd still feel incredibly blessed and fortunate to receive that gift from him and the fact that he thought about us in his will and left us anything at all. Period.
Problem is, my two brothers want to contest it. My sisters and other two brothers just want to be done with it and not drag this out and have the Lawyers win in the end.
It's just sad how ugly things can get when someone dies and a little bit of money is involved.
Thanks for letting me vent.
-the end-
another piece about the KONY2012/Invisible Children:
http://theeducatedfieldnegro.tumblr.com/post/18894846735/we-got-trouble
Thanks! I googled it, too.
__________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Stroke us and Kopanun help Herro! Why do all the models look the same?
@ Stoney - MK included a link on Afternoon Crumbs to the Daily What regarding why it's controversial:
http://thedailywh.at/2012/03/07/on-kony-2012-2/
Jesus fucking christ. I have been trying to watch that Kony shit for the past ten minutes and it stops every few seconds to load and I can't deal with that shit for a thirty minute goddamn video. Can someone please sum this shit up for me, because I don't understand why my fb friends are obsessing and arguing over a fucking video. Is it controversial or fucking what?
_________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Those models are cool.
Submitted by TelevisedRevolution on Wed, 03/07/2012 - 11:14pm.
Take things one day at a time TR and don't do anything stupid...you get one chance at life - things will get better.....
TR - HUGSSSSSSSSSSS :(
also please do not cut yourself. there seems to be multiple ppl here that care and it's better to get the pain out through talking. i get the urge - believe me! i do - but please dont injure yourself to get it out.
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"Fatsa or thinsa you still a bitchsa. :p. *poses with arms up for all future picsas* lol" - guest
Televised,
Great advice from everyone. I would do what PB suggested - call hospitals or care homes. They can help.
I know you are frustrated, but you are awesome. You are working hard for your Mom.
Best wishes to you and Mom. I am pulling for you.
Full moon brings emotions good ppl. TR maybe brother is in cave mode. It's the way they deal. Don't let that hurt you. He is loving you but needs wall. Anyone w/ big sads, more room in a broken heart? Later you will feel it. Like a gift. Thank you for this place MK!
ESE - damn bro - you shout out then blow? and fine time to bust a sista's street. oh well....xxx - and here's to dancin' in yo' sleep..
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TR - on a separate note ENTIRELY - why not take a huge piece of paper, draw line down the middle.. and each of you write down your responsibilities for your Mom. If they are mega responsibilities, write them several times to "weight them" (but 3x is max) - then take a look at who has more to do - i.e. who's side is longer - then if it's unbalanced, divide some of it up. Tell your brother his help is so valued.. but the unequal balance is about to do you in.. you need help. You are blood relatives. Now - is when that matters most.
http://www.synergyhomecare.com/Default.aspx
ESE, You bet your sweet... dance it is! ;]
*twirls away, getting dizzy*
*continues shimmying*
♫ ♫ ♫
♥---♥---♥
"Kevin Keller will forever be a part of Riverdale, and he will live a happy, long life free of prejudice, hate and narrow-minded people." J. Goldwater
Submitted by TelevisedRevolution on Wed, 03/07/2012 - 11:14pm.
Stop it, you're not an idiot.
I don't know if men are really just not as nurturing as women are, or if that just happens to have been my own experience. Your brother is doing the easy stuff. Maybe he's scared, thinking about your mom's mortality, or maybe he just isn't thinking about how hard the stuff is that you are dealing with. YOU are doing the hard stuff.
I could tell stories... but I won't. I'll just tell you that you have every right to be frustrated, overwhelmed, hurt, stressed, depressed. You need help. If brother is dealing with financial/administrative shit, maybe he can do the calling about a sitter. Those services exist, and they do well, and they can't be doing well if only the wealthy can afford them; insurers and/or medicare must be covering it. Get brother to do the legwork if he's not willing to pitch in in that area.
got an early morn tomorrow, folks... be back if i can't sleep, but for now, i want you all to do me a favor...
DANCE!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_7u3nhANa4
later times, all.
-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
thanks, again what an idiot. i thought it was so ironic that the blade was too dull - it was like antoine Whatihisnme saying to me "You are really really dumb.""
So I hear what you all are saying and I won't try it again. I never tried it before. It's a very teenage girl thing, I just felt desperate and wondered if I could do something that no one would know about, that no one could blame me for, that would give me some relief.
My brother IS here - and he is dealing with the banking and the bills, He is answering the phone calls and being all "hail fellow well met". He stays on the computer in the next room doing his job and the administrative work it takes to keep my mom going and in her own home - and I get it, that needs to be done. But I am still doing everything else, and when I got mad about that after bottling it up - he goes off on me.
Meanwhile - he walks out of the house without saying anything, leaving me alone with her no matter what I am planning or what my needs are. He writes things on the calendar without mentioning them to me (like where they are, who is going to take mom there if someone has to do that, dress, bather, all that). If I am there, she won't get a meal unless I give it to her. Garbage, bathrooms, laundry - all of that is on me. But to say anything about this is nagging, bitching and moaning - which is why I only said something once. Which resulted in a big fight, and I find out today that, except for things directly related to Mom;s care, he isn't speaking to me. Because I'm such a controlling, nagging bitch, I guess.
And I just feel overwhelmed and alone. Not suicidal, but in extreme pain.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
We worked hard for our money! So hard for it, honey!
Submitted by paradoxical bunny on Wed, 03/07/2012 - 11:00pm.
hi p-bun!... yes, that's your "rapper name"... what?.. you just be happy that i didn't go with "p-bunn-diddly-do"!... HA!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
ESE - always great to see you. Great advice. You are so kind. (and funny, wise, ETC)...
TR - it's called "respite care" - the (medicare available) help you need just to give you a break in the caring for your Mom. Also.. there is other help available, medically and otherwise.. check all of it out. A social worker will be able to advise what your Mom qualifies for. Call a hospice or hospital - ask to speak to a social worker, and explain your situation. They will know how to direct you. If you don't get what you feel is good advice, try another one. 2nd opinions are golden. Good luck.
Televised, I believe you've received some great advice from some wise Dlisters, so I'm sending you positive vibes and caring wishes. Please take good care of yourself.
Submitted by TelevisedRevolution on Wed, 03/07/2012 - 9:35pm.
i know it's stupid but i decided to try to cut myself. just to see if it would actually help relieve this...
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no, no it won't... it will release endorphin, but running in place, punching a pillow, or flat out screaming in an unoccupied parked car will get you the same result without the lingering scars to remind you of this time of your life... don't start down a road that is not going to help in the least.
lets play something soft, smooth, and calming for you, shall we?...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_H-LY4Jb2M
best wishes.
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
TR, I don't normally respond to anyone's threat to cut. That is because (caution, brutal honesty coming up) it is one of THE most irrational and messed up responses to dealing with a major life problem ever, so encouraging it even by responding is not advised. However I feel for you, and I know if I was in your situation I would want to know people cared about me - including strangers. So let me say now - even though I do not know you, I DO care for you, and hope you will feel the hope that accompanies waking up on a new day... after ideally getting a good night's sleep tonight and having a break from the awful, tormenting feelings - and getting up tomorrow with the determination to conquer and be strong, not frail and vulnerable - even if you just have to ACT like it if you don't feel it inside. To rise above your brother's bullshit.. to seek the help you need with the caretaking of your mother (it IS out there.. it's a medicare benefit for many - and what you are going through is exactly why it's available) .. and yes, to take some "me" time and do something very relaxing for yourself. I know first hand how gut wrenching sibling bullshit can be, and the toll it can take on one's psyche. But the absolute worst thing you can do is let them dominate - because then they have won. YOU win, by staying above it.. and by looking for logical solutions, not caving in to desperate emotions. I wish you strength in this awful time, and I hope you know that you CAN pull through it being the better person - which clearly you are. Hang in there.. and get a good night's sleep if you can. I wish all the best for you. You have got what it takes, and now is the time to use it.
EH - LOL that was the funniest part!! Clearly he has HIS priorities, and is just passing them on to the rest of us. (a little projection never hurt anybody.) Bless him. :-)
Submitted by TelevisedRevolution on Wed, 03/07/2012 - 9:35pm.
Taking care of a sick parent 24/7 simply can not be done by one person. Physically and emotionally, it is too much. Call her doctor's office and see if they can refer you to some adult sitting services. If your mom is covered by insurance and/or medicare, they probably cover having a caretaker come in to the home at least part time.