Hot Slut Of The Day!
Amanda Whittaker, a 27-year-old inanimate object fucker who went on the UK’s This Morning to talk about how she ended a 10-year-long love affair with a drum kit and is now involved in a long-distance lesbian relationship with the Statue of Liberty. Just like that crazy bitch who licked the bricks on the Berlin Wall and that iron-humping trick who married the Eiffel Tower, Amanda has objectum sexuality and only falls in love with inanimate objects (don’t introduce her to a Kardashian).
After banging a drum kit for ten years, it couldn’t take her beating it all the time, so it left her for good. Amanda then fell in love with a French American and it’s the perfect relationship. The Statue of Liberty doesn’t talk back, is into group shit and even though Amanda knows deep down that Lady Liberty would rather be with the Chrysler Building, the bitch can’t leave the island so she’s always there for her (except for days when it’s raining and the ferry doesn’t run). And when Amanda is back in England and missing her piece, she can use that torch as a dildo to guide her orgasms to port. This really is going to last forever…or until Amanda gets metal poisoning of the cooch from wet humping her girlfriend when the park rangers aren’t looking.
via Arbroath