Oprah Fired Rosie
Smiles lie. Our Supreme Ruler and Goddess Messiah (Oprah Winfrey) is going to have to throw a damn rent party soon. Nothing's working! Winfrey announced today that she won't be requiring Rosie O'Donnell's services anymore, and hasn't renewed The Rosie Show for a second season. O'Donnell is packing up her clog collection and lumbering back to NYC.
“I thank Rosie from the bottom of my heart for joining me on this journey,” said Oprah Winfrey in a statement. “As I have learned in the last 15 months, a new network launch is always a challenge and ratings grow over time as you continue to gather an audience. I’m grateful to Rosie and the dedicated Rosie Show team for giving it their all.”
Rosie might be a mouthy occasional psycho, but she's no fool. She realizes that Oprah isn't as forgiving as Barbara Walters. O would have her killed if she got hainty about getting axed in public.
"I loved working with Oprah in the amazing city of Chicago," O'Donnell said in a statement. "I was welcomed with open arms and will never forget the kindness of all I encountered. It was a great year for me—I wish the show was able to attract more viewers—but it did not. So I am headed back to my home in New York—with gratitude. On we go!"
The Rosie Show, which dropped from a viewership of 500,000 for the premiere episode down to an average of 230,000, was taped in O's old studio ( aka Little Medjugorje). They shot around the mystical healing fountain that sprung up on Oprah's last day. Many are the global pilgrimages undertaken to partake of its soothing and holy waters.
Oprah's second coming isn't working out like she planned. Did anyone else notice her slinking up to people's cars at the Twitter intersection during the Grammys and asking "hey baby, you wanna party?" for ratings? It's serious when Oprah is panhandling on social media platforms.
As for Rosie - she's got this chick grimly picturing Range Rovers and Birkin Bags as she laps at O'Donnell's other "O". So Rosie's fine.