Gwyneth Paltrow Wrote Her Incredibly Pretentious Cookbook Herself, Thank You
It's nice to see Gwyneth Paltrow giving us a non-smug look for once on that magazine cover. That unfortunate pasta anticipation gremlinly lipbite face looks like me when I'm faced with snack cakes. Piggy realness.
GOOP's third career (after "actress" and "insufferable snob blogger") is "cookbook author". Unfortunately her publishing empire was dealt a blow by the New York Times. In an article about cookbook ghost writers, they claimed that Gwyneth wrote her cookbook My Father's Daughter (he was an asshole, too?) with chef Julia Turshen.
According to E!, Gwyneth moved quickly to refute this on her Facebook page. Do you think she'll play Avengers Alliance with me if I invite her?
"Love @nytimes dining section but this weeks facts need checking. No ghost writer on my cookbook, I wrote every word myself."
That "love" doesn't feel genuine to me. You can feel the nasally, passive agressive tone she statused that in, right?
Yes, she wrote every word. Every ponderous word about ingredients you can't afford, cookware that's only available at a tiny shop in the Pyrenees, and how much better she is at making this shit than you are. Ugh, she's a prig. Her husband must think about sticking his head in that outdoor pizza oven on a daily basis.
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NYT factchecks the smallest detail. No way they'd print that w/o confirming.
Gwyn's lying.
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Gwyneth became upset with the interviewer from Vogue because he asked her a few personal questions and therefore refused to meet with him for a prearranged meeting. See the link below if interested. I actually really love Gwyneth but people deserve full credit for their work.
http://www.vogue.com/magazine/article/gwyneth-paltrow-beauty-and-the-fea...
She needs a proofreader on her FB post.
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Please: It's "rahnday."
Oh shut the fuck up Fishsticks.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Mon, 03/19/2012 - 1:47pm.
Whamo, tell us something we don't know! How about, anything you WOULDN'T offer up for her to sample? *eyebrow wiggles* LOL!
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lol, you know me too well on this one WR! I can think of nothing and I would treat her as my personal buffet:P
My mom subscribes to Bon Appetit, and passes her copy on to me when she's done reading. This issue, though, made me cringe. Why is she biting her lip? Because she's struggling to hold her bowels until after this shot? "One more, Gwynnie, then you can hit the can!" GOOP cleanses will do that to you. Why else bite one's lower lip in a photo? Wouldn't a smile work better?
To make the cover more tolerable & less pretentious, I took a Sharpie to my copy and graced Goopy with devil's horns, a Hitler 'stache, and "666" between her eyes. Silly, but it worked.
RE: the "ghost written" cookbook: I haven't read it, but the excerpt I read in Bon Appetit was incredibly smarmy and holier-than-thou and...not too appetizing. Something about her father "moaning with pleasure" during a meal...it gave me the heebie-jeebies. So I wouldn't be surprised if she did write it herself. It sounds like her public persona, and as if she could've used a co-author to rein her in.
Nevermind.
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It hurts because you let your black heart beat for an asshole who can't even send you a "P.S. I'm about to fuck a hole that doesn't belong to you" text before fucking said hole that doesn't belong to you.
What an ungrateful, entitled little asshole. There's no shame in having a co-writer/editor/ghost writer, whatevs. Frankly, her unconvincing denial makes it worst. For someone from such a privileged background, she doesn't have an ounce of class or humility.
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It hurts because you let your black heart beat for an asshole who can't even send you a "P.S. I'm about to fuck a hole that doesn't belong to you" text before fucking said hole that doesn't belong to you.
Her favorite recipe for Cream of Prozac Soup she probably won't even allow to be printed in her book.
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"She's Black & I'm Gay--- we create culture."
How can you 'fact check' a ghost writer? It's designed not to appear anywhere, so of course it's easy to deny...
Look at that cover! She looks possessed by Sandra Lee before cocktail time.
Yeah, there are a lot of women here in Cali who don't use sunscreen, like Gisele B. They think it is too full of carcinogens, so they won't put it on. Or they use the organic (IMO not as effective). And they worship the sun want the vitamin D and love outdoor sports/showing off their skin. I don't get it. Melanoma is deadly, especially if you are light eyed ,fair-skinned like Goopy.
Well, it looks like her lips are suffering from osteopenia (or, whatever her starvation-induced bone loss is called)- they have practically disappeared. That being said, better than trout pout. The rhinoplasty is very clear in this photo; the tip healed at a weird angle. And holy sun damage on the chest! I'd a thunk she'd practically bathe in some $435/ounce organic sunscreen... apparently, not.
Meh.
honey, when you don't wear makeup, you look MENTALLY ILL.
It's not his head her husband is worried about going into the outdoor pizza oven, why do you think she bought it in the first place? Right about the time he was on the down low with Kate Bosworth. Peen Pizza.
Hey, I like Ina Garten. I think her food is accessible and solidly good. She works on perfecting her recipes and I appreciate that. I'm always more impressed by a cook who can turn out a perfect roast chicken than some crazy multi-ingredient "gourmet" dish.
HOWEVER: Her shop in East Hampton charges $35.00 per pound for chicken salad. A little cone of jelly beans is $6.00. And people pay it! *shakes head*
Whamo, tell us something we don't know! How about, anything you WOULDN'T offer up for her to sample? *eyebrow wiggles* LOL!
Deb, so that's why Coldplay is permanently on tour! hahahahahhahaha ;D
OT: This gives lots of press for GOOP's new book, hmmmm...
♥---♥---♥
"... looking in her face is heaven for all the youth and hope and good will." Thamar 03/01/2012 ☺♪☼♫ ░░░░
give me Chefs Lidia Bastianich(she dug for clams in here bare feet!), Jamie Oliver(funky), Gordon Ramsey(fun), and Ming Tsai(awesomeness).
and a little Guy F. :)
(stick to acting G.; you know how to play parts)
ololllol@ FB comments, oner 160+
poor Gwynnie, yougogurrl:
Here's a gem comment on her F/B :
they can suck my nards, man. and its not the first time the nytimes has allowed a writer to sh*t all over a member of your household. i literally shook w/ rage over an nyt coldplay review (xx/xy i think). g*ddamn it still makes me angry. so baby girl you stand strong. we all know you're the real thing. brush it off & keep walking, okay? you hear me? okay.
Saturday at 12:57pm · 2 Likes
❝ I smile, I smile, and I smile. ❞
She reminds me of a dirty person. Dirty feet, never washes her hands, and greasy hair. I wouldn't let my dog eat anything she's whipped up.
Who bets She's crapping the one bite she took of this pasta out as soon as the photog puts down the camera
She looks bloated.
as for the crispiest chicken ever, I assume it doesn't involve shortening and batter, so have a piping hot cup of STFU tea assholes, because crushed cornflakes on oven baked chicken is diabetes food.
Is it any wonder that Coldplay tours 50 weeks a year?
(I keed, but I wouldn't be surprised!)
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
who approved this picture? she looks like gollum.
"Her husband must think about sticking his head in that outdoor pizza oven on a daily basis."
lmao
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"Fatsa or thinsa you still a bitchsa. :p. *poses with arms up for all future picsas* lol" - guest
it's invisible sauce, y'all.
that's how much of a culinary genius she is.
Submitted by TexnDoc on Mon, 03/19/2012 - 12:14pm.
<"Submitted by The Sunshine Gang on Mon, 03/19/2012 - 12:04pm.
I hate pretentious chefs. You can throw Ina Garten in there too.">
Whatever happened to gayelle Cat Cora anyway. I think she got transferred.
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Hi, Doc - she's getting a show of her own - I saw an ad for it but don't remember the details. I like her !
Herp derp.
she is awesome, raising her children with great manners and lots of love, and still married after a long time by hollywood standards. So who s awesome? yeah....
Just thought of something - I hope the woman who admitted to the NYT to actually writing Paltrow's cookbook wasn't violating a non-disclosure agreement, because then she'll be in real trouble. Think old GOOPY is going to let this little "revelation" slide? No fucking way - she's not Zen enough for that and probably will have to do an extra cleanse to get rid of the "toxins" this is bringing to her pristine life, not to mention sue the bitch into the poorhouse.
At the very least, Paltrow's "unpaid book helper" can kiss any other cookbook ghostwriting gigs goodbye forever. Gwyneth is probably not a person to be crossed.
this self-absorbed skank needs to STFU! The Times was pretty specific about naming names and I tend to believe the Grey Lady over the Nepotism Nag.
p. s. the skeez looks absolutely nothing like that photoshopped Bon Appetit.
p. p. s. she needs a ghost writer on her facebook posts, too 'cause bitch spelled week's as weeks
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Aniston is artistically, intellectually and reproductively barren.
Paltrow is every argument against nepotism rolled into one.
Kind of surprised they're not whole wheat noodles. What's up with that? Does she actually eat "white" pasta?!
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Amnesty International
Shine a Light
I'll take Inas cooking any day. *chomps on Gortons fishsticks*
I was feeling part of the scenery
I walked right out of the machinery
"I've taken the eyeball of the tuna and smothered it in smoked seaweed and am serving it with a burnt Champagne foam"
OMG, that sounds about as appetizing as moldy cheese laying out in the sun.
Submitted by The Sunshine Gang on Mon, 03/19/2012 - 12:04pm.
I hate pretentious chefs. You can throw Ina Garten in there too.
Paltrow is NOT a chef. Swanning around Spain with Mario Batali (a TRUE chef who worked in professional kitchens and owns restaurants) does not confer culinary credentials upon you. At best she's a home cook with excellent connections in publishing and show business.
Garten isn't a true chef either. She's what I call a "hobby job" culinary professional - a person with lots of money who thought it would be "fun" to buy a catering store and business and then learned how to be a food professional the hard way, through lots of work and lots of successes and failures. You may not like her, but unlike Paltrow she came by her fame (and cookbooks) honestly. But she most likely doesn't write any of HER cookbooks either.
@Texn... hahaha!! And can we just ban foams for once and for all? Reminds me too much of spit. :P
<"Submitted by The Sunshine Gang on Mon, 03/19/2012 - 12:04pm.
I hate pretentious chefs. You can throw Ina Garten in there too.">
At least Ina prepares things you can eat. THE most pretentious chef on Food Network is Iron Chef Morimoto who says things (that are translated by the narrator) like "I've taken the eyeball of the tuna and smothered it in smoked seaweed and am serving it with a burnt Champagne foam" and the judges' panel raves and gives him the win. Whatever happened to gayelle Cat Cora anyway. I think she got transferred.
Come on, Gwyneth. I WANT to like you. I really do. But then you go and do shit like this and I just can't. Please stop being obnoxious and annoying. Come down off that pedestal, girl.
Wow, the ass-kissing on Paltrow's Facebook page is remarkable. To her adoring fans, the NYT are "haters" who "envy" Gwyneth's "perfection." Yeah, right - the NYT is out on a quest to get poor Gwyneth, not be the towering pillar of US journalism which is just trying, as usual, to uncover the truth and expose self-aggrandizing mendacity.
Condi....hahahahahaha.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
I DO believe that she wrote the recipe for Insufferable Cunt Soup.
MK, where is the story about Blowhan putting herself on Lockdown/House Arrest until her probation is over?
That is funnier than Gwynnie any day.
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Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead
I hate pretentious chefs. You can throw Ina Garten in there too.
I thought that the whole point of "My Father's Daughter" was that Bruce Paltrow ghost-wrote the book--from beyond the grave.
I don't mind Goopy these days. She's harmless. Just a little pretentious.
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Trailer Trash.
What a FREAKING liar! Even actual professional restaurant CHEFS don't write their own books. Look, I'm a chef, I worked in the business for over 15 years and knew some very famous chefs in LA, and NONE of them wrote their own cookbooks.
But yeah - Paltrow wrote each recipe, all the text, tested each recipe five times over personally, wrote the index and took all the photos herself. SURE. She probably printed each book herself using inks she made from her kids' leftover paints and home-squeezed grape juice and bound them all by hand with natural hemp and her own spit.
She's such an insufferable ass. One just has to look in the "Acknowledgements" section to find out who REALLY created the book - all her unpaid serfs are listed there.
In political terms, Paltrow has the common touch of Romney, with all the charm of Gingrich.
I think everything irritating about Gwynnie would disappear if the woman just went and got herself screwed good and hard.
By a man, not by some reedy, hipster closet-case. I sense a lot of her 'energy' is actually sexual frustration.
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Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Thu, 01/19/2012 - 11:56am.
Liver spotted hand
Groping while I cry inside
Merit badge and meth
That bowl of pasta is saying, "Dude, seriously. I hate my life."
Soggy noodle, please. Just because you drove around Spain with a sweaty Mario Batali, it doesn't mean you can cook.
We must submit to the brilliant writing of M. Harvey