Would You Hit It?

When I first read the headline earlier that said James Franco's character in the feature film version of TruTV's Party Heat called Spring Breakers was based on Riff Raff, I was so pissed to learn that the Riff Raff his character is based on is not this Riff Raff:

It's the other OTHER Riff Raff who was on Vh1's From G's to Gents. The real Riff Raff is bragging to everyone that Harmony Korine offered him the role, but he couldn't take it since he was too busy working out of the country (aka working three shifts in a row in the stock room of a Pier 1 knock-off store in Ohio called Out of the Country). So James Franco took the role and is shooting this movie in between taking Polaroid pictures of squirrel urethras for his art school thesis and executive producing a Nickelodeon show based around a family of turnips.

When I look at James Franco in this mess, I don't see the "rapper" Riff Raff. I see the Rocky Horror Riff Raff (I'm trying to cover all the Riff Raffs in one post) after injecting himself with the essence of Gary Oldman's True Romance character and gaining 90 pounds by cutting his meth with Bisquick to play a KFed impersonator in a Cash4Gold commercial. Franco is nailing it!

Who knew that James Franco could pull off the "middle-class suburban douche trying to seem street by telling everyone that he was raised in the projects of Detroit" look so well? And to answer my headline question, yes, I'd hit it just to watch those A cups bounce. I bet James Franco's peen tastes like sour milk and his jizz has the consistency of cottage cheese, so I better bring a can of peaches.

And let's just pretend that the yellow-weaved beauty in the blue bathing suit is Hottie from Flavor of Love. I mean, she kind of looks like Beyonce.

Fame Pictures

Posted by: Michael K

•

Submitted by Untogether on Tue, 04/03/2012 - 1:26pm.

I'm pretty sure I'd hit it 8 ways to Sundays. But then again, I have no standards. Sure James Franco is a bit douchey, but we're not talking marriage, just good old fashion fucking. ________________________________________________
"They tell me you are what you eat, but I don’t remember eating a bad-ass motherfucker"

Submitted by the original be... on Sun, 04/01/2012 - 2:32pm.

If it came close enough, yes. With a wooden baseball bat. Preferable in the head - either one will do.

Submitted by MizRo on Sat, 03/31/2012 - 6:51am.

Um, Franco is highly over-rated imo. I can see the attraction for some though.

Submitted by dorian_graye on Sat, 03/31/2012 - 2:05am.

I'd hit it once. And then....go back for seconds....and thirds. Franco is a feast that keeps on giving. Nuff said.

Submitted by chinlee3 on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 12:05pm.

I'll pass!

Submitted by Sweetas on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 9:54am.

Hahaha snowy, the exquisite beauty in the main pic? I know, it's like she got a mega wedgie and didn't curr. And lmao @ the KSpread comparison MK

Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 9:34am.

that chick's ass is really disturbing me!

***************************
"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky

Submitted by BitchyD on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 9:31am.

I just can't with the corn rows and grill. But once that crap comes off, I'd totally hit it.

Submitted by nunya_bizness on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 8:55am.

I just realized that JF looks like Sean Paul in the very bottom picture.

************************************************
Be intrigued, be interested. DON'T be stupid.---TheBreakdown

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 8:27am.

Snowy - since I have a gf now, I can only LOOK...
*can't keep straight face*
_____________________________________________
"You reap what you fuck." ~ RichBitch 03/13/2012

Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 8:23am.

Jacko, let the name be a warning to you!

***************************
"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky

Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 8:21am.

KFed had a much better body than he does!

***************************
"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky

Submitted by jaariel on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 8:16am.

Franco--the gift that keeps on giving...

Submitted by boston61 on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 7:49am.

Moobs. Who knew?

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 7:44am.

thumb 11, pink bikini top... OH YEA!

I'm going to crab island in Ft Walton on June 1st... CAN'T. WAIT.
_____________________________________________
"You reap what you fuck." ~ RichBitch 03/13/2012

Submitted by Dame Chupacabra on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 7:33am.

what kind of jezebel in sam hell movie is this?

Team Cameeeerrrrroooon!

Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 7:32am.

Thumb 10 & 11 my oh my! now that's how you wear a bikini!

Submitted by parkerj on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 7:17am.

Lets be brutally honest here. Douchebag JFed is still hotter than sour vanilla JF. All of the sudden his lack of IQ and the herp derp look gets overshadowed by douchebag swag.

-----------------
"Bye, Whore" -MK

Submitted by sonne on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 7:12am.

I love me some original Riff Raff, too. The actor has been in other movies and by golly if he wasn't hot evil in those as well. :D Then again I shocked some co-workers when I said I thought the Tig character in Sons of Anarchy was kinda hot (yep, he's a total freak but.... :P We had a good laugh over it.

Submitted by Das ist ein Dreck on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 7:06am.

Just so we are clear: the one and only legit RiffRaff is that hunchback dude from the Rocky Horror Picture show.
Everyriffraff else is a fakeass RiffRaff wannabe.

--
You got a lot of money, but you can't afford the freeway

Submitted by Queef Richards on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 6:42am.

I hate to admit this, but the skinny boy with the dreads is hot, even with the d-bag get up (which I'm hoping is a costume and not his natural look). You put some GOOD tats on his body, and a guitar in his hands, and I would hit that all day long.

But, then again, I also had a crush on Riff Raff from Rocky Horror. Way hotter than Frank 'n' Furter as far as I was concerned.

Submitted by Juniperjump on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 3:52am.

Yuck.

Submitted by Fujicat on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 2:54am.

Hell to the no. Way to close to Papa Cheetolings for my taste.

-------------------------------
Fair is foul and foul is fair..

Submitted by gorilla on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 2:39am.

Wish I had the body to wear the neon green bikini in thumbnail nine

Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 2:19am.

no - nO -NO - NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO - and

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Submitted by undinespragg on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 1:07am.

This needs a "fighting the hot" tag

Submitted by boston61 on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 1:00am.

I smell dead fish.

Submitted by LarBear on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 12:54am.

FUCK YEAH I WOULD. I'd hit that up, down, sideways, upside down, on my head... The scumbag look is so HOT on him.

Submitted by Uptown James on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 12:54am.

yes, of course I'd hit dat b/c I'm a slag. He has nice suckable tits and looks like muscular legs to play with, too. I would stick my tongue so far up his ass he would be talkin' Nicaraguan.
_______________________________________________

"She's Black & I'm Gay--- we create culture."

Submitted by pamorama_j on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 12:30am.

Yeah, I'd hit it. I'd hit it with a popozao!!!

Submitted by sonah22 on Thu, 03/29/2012 - 11:04pm.

the doughy makes him hot! Y'all are crazy. I like him more now-the lean thing scares me. Even when it's strong, those guys seem fragile. But it's so hard to find the "intelligent" type with this kind of body. Either they're Jonah Hill pre surgery or bony as hell. I all of a sudden like this over edumakated hipster.

Submitted by LaChaylo on Thu, 03/29/2012 - 10:46pm.

That body - no. I don't expect all men to be Adonis, but he looks like he doesn't even carry his own groceries.

Now, I might hit KFed before he was KWellFed, (JF mos def looks more like KFed than Riff Raff). *shameface*

Submitted by Lily85 on Thu, 03/29/2012 - 10:38pm.

You didn't actually answer it, MK!
But I would sure hit it!!!

I truly believe that you haven't begun to scoop up all of life's beautiful moments until you've heard the line "Watch the wig!" from a piece while sitting on their face. - MK

Submitted by Preferred Username on Thu, 03/29/2012 - 10:02pm.

Would I hit it...I think I already DID hit it! Looks like two of my exes. OAAHH...Love to love ya baby!

Submitted by d-nice on Thu, 03/29/2012 - 9:51pm.

AMEN SISTA!
------------------------------------------Submitted by Hey Gurrrl on Thu, 03/29/2012 - 9:30pm.

HELL YEAH!!! I'd still take his man-meat from every angle!

Submitted by d-nice on Thu, 03/29/2012 - 9:48pm.

love this dirty version of JF - hot!!!

Submitted by Daniee on Thu, 03/29/2012 - 9:47pm.

Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Thu, 03/29/2012 - 10:39pm.

I'm only going to see this shit b/c my baby bro is an extra in this mess of a movie.
------------------------------------------------------------

That sounds like fun!! I have a couple of technical and hair friends who work in film and tv up here in Vancouver and sometimes fill in some space for them as an extra. Nothing that looks this crazy.

Submitted by Andrei on Thu, 03/29/2012 - 9:45pm.

I thought his hat said Pope at first.

Submitted by tornadolie on Thu, 03/29/2012 - 9:38pm.

i thought this was another bullshit joke movie until i saw Harmony Korine wrote this. that dude has wrote some fucked up shit. gummo? kids? kinda wanna see this now.

Submitted by Stan Derp on Thu, 03/29/2012 - 9:22pm.

Unless it's Springbreakers Pirhana Meets Giant Alligators in 3D I'm not interested.

Submitted by RandéSleepover on Thu, 03/29/2012 - 9:21pm.

Submitted by Gobbler on Thu, 03/29/2012 - 8:17pm.

Like it?? It's spring-fuckin'-break!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A movie about it!!!

* * * * * * * * * * *

Please: It's "rahnday."

Submitted by lovelylaney on Thu, 03/29/2012 - 9:17pm.

Submitted by Who Datt on Thu, 03/29/2012 - 10:05pm.
I liked this better when it was the video for "Pretty Fly For A White Guy" by The Offspring.

===============
Accurate. And this is just the Extended Version :) haha

Submitted by blueangel on Thu, 03/29/2012 - 9:20pm.

James Franco? I thought that was KFed. His sunglasses and necklace with the marijuana leaf look like they came from the Dollar Store. The girl in the blue bathing suit does look like Beyonce. She also looks like she has a navel infection.

Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Thu, 03/29/2012 - 9:09pm.

I'm only going to see this shit b/c my baby bro is an extra in this mess of a movie.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Douchechill!

Submitted by Eddie Van Hilton on Thu, 03/29/2012 - 9:08pm.

Submitted by Cara on Thu, 03/29/2012 - 9:39pm.

Harmony Korine? Of Gummo fame? He's still around?

---------------------------------------------

Gummo was an awesome movie. If the movie business made more films like Gummo and Pink Flamingos I'd probably would go back to the theatres.

Submitted by Saix on Thu, 03/29/2012 - 8:56pm.

Tom Kaulitz? Is that you?

Submitted by nunya_bizness on Thu, 03/29/2012 - 8:55pm.

Minus the cornrows, I hit something similar to that 10 years ago. I was young and naive (an horny). Franco has always had a surprisingly doughy body; think back to the Black Swan parody on the Oscars when he appeared in a unitard.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/gavon/james-franco-in-tights

************************************************
Be intrigued, be interested. DON'T be stupid.---TheBreakdown

Submitted by Who Datt on Thu, 03/29/2012 - 8:35pm.

I liked this better when it was the video for "Pretty Fly For A White Guy" by The Offspring.

Submitted by Gingah on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 12:15am.

Daniel Desario has sponge worthy potential. This douchenozzle does not.