A Match Made In K Hell
Out of nowhere last night, Kanye Kardashian née West released a new song called Theraflu where he rap confesses that he crawled up into Kim Kardashian's K hole of doom while she was in the middle of her 10 second-long marriage to Kris Humphries. Here are the poignant lyrics that are making Pimp Mama Kris' pimpin' hand quiver something special:
And I'll admit I fell in love with Kim/ 'Round the same time she fell in love him/ That's cool, baby girl do your thing/ Lucky I ain't have Jay drop him from the team
Kanye Kardashian's fame whore clock is perfectly synchronized, because just hours after he dropped that song, TMZ had pictures of him and Kim doing the STUNT QUEEN strut out of a Manhattan movie theater after seeing The Hunger Games. There's something perfect about two thirsty whores watching The Hunger Games together. A source tells TMZ that Kanye and Kim have been chewing on each other's ass for a little while now.
This was bound to happen and we should just be thankful that their egos in one room together will shatter any industrial-strength camera lens, so we'll never see a real sex tape of these self-absorbed hos humping on each other. Actually, I doubt Kim and Kanye even touch. Their idea of getting off is doing themselves with a mirrored dildo in a completely mirrored room so they can see themselves from every angle.
Kim and Kanye keep searching for love, but Kim will never love anybody as much as she loves Kim and Kanye will never love anybody as much as he loves Kanye. They can have a group marriage!
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perhaps Kanye will do us all a favor and give Kim the name of his mother's plastic surgeon
Submitted by boston61 on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 10:46am.
Gay men love a big ass. Hers is huge. He can pretend she is a football player
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It concerns me that sometimes I find you funny.
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Here is some info about Kanye...back when he was "dating" Amber Rose, a close friend of mine dished out some bizarre insider info. My friend having very close ties with people in the hip hop world told me Kanye is really a big, huge tripper when it comes to bodily functions & sex overall. He doesn't like any hair to be touching him during blowjobs or sex, he gets freaked out by saliva Overall he has a ton of different phobias. I really doubt he is into Kimtrashsian in any form of a true sexual relationship. All for a big whore show. I can't with these two!
I didn't realize how short Kanye is. He's a midget.
The idea of two egotistical morons getting together doesn't surprise me but it still seems pretty weird. Doesn't that break the law of physics?
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"That bitch is scary. She really needs to be sat on a tricycle asking people if they want to play a game." - billykelly789-1 on Lady GaGa (IMDB 22/07/2011)
Gay men love a big ass. Hers is huge. He can pretend she is a football player.
She is getting real desparate to keep that 5 minutes going huh?
also: as much as i don't like kim k, she's a hustler. she went from being a 10 second guest on paris hilton's tv show to having her own empire.
i always thought kim k would be perfect with kanye.
Submitted by islandgirl on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 1:23am.
Next up: Kato Kaelin.
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hahahahaha omg i almost choked - the visual of those two together.
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"Fatsa or thinsa you still a bitchsa. :p. *poses with arms up for all future picsas* lol" - guest
The song should have been called Nyquil cuz Kim strikes me as a pretty boring bang. Most narcissists are.
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GERONIMO!
There can't be too many guys left with the initial 'K' that she hasn't screwed.
Next up: Kato Kaelin.
Self centered assholes suck in bed. Imagining sessy times between these two is amusing. They probably get off on stroking each others' egos.
Shouldn't somebody being throwing a bag of flour at her about now?
She's the worst of the worst, and so disgusting on every level. He's just an asshole.
Also: if they were dating and in LUV when she married kris K, how did his HUGE EGO allow another man to call her his wife? And wasn't he "with" Amber Rose then?
Bogus.
Submitted by SoulTaker: "I can't wait for their first Twitter fight."
Ooooh! Now that you mention it, neither can I!
I nominate this for the best post ever written. I have never laughed so hard in my life. This is just classic...
*Thunderous applause*
I really hope these two are together. It's a perfect match in asshole heaven
Submitted by swarm-of-locusts on Thu, 04/05/2012 - 6:22pm.
I'm sure it's been said already...
Kanye is just ghetto marketing those shitty schmattas of his, including those hideous shoes she's wearing, and Kim is just selling herself, as usual.
Ghetto marketing = put some jump-off famewhore in high end clothes and hope the bougie 'hood hos goes for it because Class A retail is not checking for your designs like that.
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I won't mar this sterling truth with too many words...
swarm-of-locusts 1, the rest of us slobs 0
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Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Thu, 01/19/2012 - 11:56am.
Liver spotted hand
Groping while I cry inside
Merit badge and meth
One of the most brilliant posts ever written.
Well done!
I have to laugh to keep from crying.
i wish she'd make that helmet a permanent fashion accessory
Both of these barf sacks deserve each other.
What is Kanye's "talent"? It's not lyric-writing, it's not music, and it's not footwear design.
I'm surprised Kanye didnt tweet about how fucked up PETA is for "flouring" his new piece of ass.
YES! Kim is back on the juice! Woo Hoo more low self esteem fun for us all to point and laugh at. This news is like finding an extra $20 bill in your jeans or a free birthday breakfast at Denny's when it isn't your birthday! I don't want to hear about her faux entrepreneur skills. I want to see her fall for some loser that treats her like shit! That's the real Kim K we know and hate!
Wow, what a great audience.
This is a perfect match.
Now hopefully both will disappear from the media together.
Submitted by LaChaylo on Thu, 04/05/2012 - 6:48pm.
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Please tell me where your icon is from. It's fascinating.
We were almost rid of her. I hadn't read about her in weeks.
GOD DAMMIT!
Their little hookup is so convenient...Kanye's got a single coming out and kim, well, she's always up for an attention stunt. I wouldn't put it pass them to get together and plan the whole thing out! Two famewhores who deserve each other and kanye, your clothes suck ass!
Submitted by parkerj on Thu, 04/05/2012 - 2:59pm.
PLEASE DEAR LORD, DON'T LET THEM BREED! PLEASE!
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Amen! Let's hope they stick to Kim being the top.
I'm sure it's been said already...
Kanye is just ghetto marketing those shitty schmattas of his, including those hideous shoes she's wearing, and Kim is just selling herself, as usual.
Ghetto marketing = put some jump-off famewhore in high end clothes and hope the bougie 'hood hos goes for it because Class A retail is not checking for your designs like that.
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 04/05/2012 - 5:45pm.
And John, who would tell the Queen to piss off if she irritated him, was too intimidated by Gay Fish to ask him to stop smoking. In is own dressing room. Elton John. Elton John who is Diva Numero Uno.
I did not hear any of that crap, maybe Elton was medicated or Kanye has some dirt on him.
I pray that snl does a skit about them. It's comedy gold.
"Love" LOL!! These 2 cutouts don't know the meaning of the word. And I doubt Kim knows how to spell it, either.
Not surprised, he's way too egotistical to see anything wrong with it.
Also, does this mean that this picture is (eck) true? http://cdn.mediatakeout.com/53568/mto-super-world-exclusive-we-have-pics...
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
http://chakrakahn.tumblr.com/
Submitted by OXA on Thu, 04/05/2012 - 5:42pm.
And John, who would tell the Queen to piss off if she irritated him, was too intimidated by Gay Fish to ask him to stop smoking. In is own dressing room. Elton John. Elton John who is Diva Numero Uno.
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www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 04/05/2012 - 5:38pm.
I just remember the story of him in Elton John's dressing room eating greasy fried chicken while smoking Kools. I can't with that image. Trash.
yuck,yuck, spearmint chicken.
I just remember the story of him in Elton John's dressing room eating greasy fried chicken while smoking Kools. I can't with that image. Trash.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Are u saying Kanye is gay?
I wonder which one has had more plastic surgery
Gay fish meets paid swish.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Gay Fish y'all
Mother fuckin' GAY FISH
Gay Fish yo
Cuz you know that I'm a GAY FISH
WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL THOSE STUPID CUNTS TO HANG IT UP ALREADY. THEY'RE A FUCKING JOKE AND NO ONE IS BUYING IT.
Do you think he heard that?
Submitted by buttercuppery on Thu, 04/05/2012 - 2:51pm.
I love this because it shows me that Kanye is really wee - like 5' 5" or so. Kim K is only like 5' 2".
Oh, tiny Kanye. You spurious douche.
that also means Amber Rose is teeny because she's a little shorter than he is...which means Coco as in Ice-T and must be Snooki-sized because Amber Rose towered over her. I guess that makes Ice-T teeny as well. Figures.
Submitted by sonah22 on Thu, 04/05/2012 - 4:54pm.
I always imagine she's awful in bed. Like all the ideas come from them and she smiles and pretends she enjoyed it just for the attention. She's so asexual, imo.
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I also think that, thats why I despise her, for letting Ray J pee on her, I bet she didnt like it one bit she only done it for him.
I also think that she is actually really insecure and needs all the attention she can get to be able to feel better like most narcisists.
I don't know which one of these two shkeeves me out more.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Suddenly we are all psychics. We can predict the future of this on so many levels.
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www.dungeonhordes.com
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I always imagine she's awful in bed. Like all the ideas come from them and she smiles and pretends she enjoyed it just for the attention. She's so asexual, imo.
I thought Kanye would totally be her type...black and rich. And she stayed with Land Ape? What a dumb bitch. HA HA HA
Kanye is going through beards fairly quickly these days. And good luck getting him to piss all over your face, Kim!
I think they are both in love with the publicity that dating each other brings.
TMZ live just said they were rubbing wee wee's when she kidnaped Kris Humphries one brain cell and convinced him to marry her.