Posh Sounds Like A Really Exciting Dinner Date

Posh (seen here looking like an extraterrestrial Ruth Bader Ginsburg), David Beckham and their chirruns all spent the holiday weekend with testicle-faced Gordon Ramsay, and if UsWeekly is telling the truth, she probably only nibbled on plain Easter basket grass at dinner. A source tells UsWeekly that on more than one occasion, Posh has only ordered the guinea pig special at restaurants. One source said that at Il Pastaio in Beverly Hills last month, Posh only ate arugula with no dressing. Yes, Posh is that ho saying she’s full after sucking down a blade of dry grass while you’re sitting there chewing on a delicious piece of steak fat like it’s bubble gum. (You really haven’t had a delicious meal until you’ve tried to blow a steak fat bubble.)

Why does Posh even bother going to restaurants if she’s just going to chew on greenery? The only reason to go to a restaurant is to eat delicious foods you can’t order from takeout. The rest of the experience sucks. You have to put on pants and listen to strangers at the next table talk about their lives. Posh should’ve just stayed home and licked on the fern in her front yard.

Posh said recently that she doesn’t have an eating disorder and I don’t think this story proves that she’s telling lies. However, I do think this story proves my suspicions that she’s a fucking bunny rabbit. I bet her poops roll.