Things That Will Exist: A Marilyn Monroe Reality Show

Because Lindsay Lohan and every other bottom of the barrel ho dressing up as her in a photo shoot for Harper's Bazaar Uzbekistan hasn't completely made Marilyn Monroe roll down through the earth's crust, a TV production company and her estate (that's cold) are working together on a reality show that will look for Hollywood's newest "it" girl. Lindsay Lohan, don't you dare drop your coke straw to pick up a pen to fill out an application for this mess. I said "girl" not "ghoul."

The plot, or whatever you call it, for this sacrilegiousness sounds like a mess and it honestly makes LiLo's Marilyn Monroe obsession seem completely healthy and not at all fucked up. Here's the few sentences about this soon-to-be disaster from Deadline that are making me want to murder my TV and make it look like a suicide:

Entertainment One has teamed with the Estate of Marilyn Monroe to develop and produce Finding Marilyn, a competition reality series that will emulate Monroe’s journey to stardom by featuring twelve young girls as they travel to Los Angeles to compete for a chance to become the next Hollywood “it” girl.

Emulate Marilyn's journey? In the hell? The makers of this need to compete in a reality show called Finding A FUCKING ASS CLUE since they have none.

Once the winner beats the other Norma Jeans (that's totally what they're going to call them), she'll win a lifetime of sadness and a lethal dose of barbiturates. Then when she's gone, the whores of Hollywood and beyond can spit all over her image in every medium. It's the cycle of butchery. May the odds ever be in your BARF.

Posted by: Michael K

•

Butchery • Marilyn Monroe

Submitted by dementa on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 1:55pm.

Submitted by azgirl on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 11:24am.

Don't forget mental illness.

*********

I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

Submitted by The Sunshine Gang on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 11:11am.

The industry only gives us what we accept. If we don't boycott crap, then they'll keep shoving it down our throats.

Submitted by azgirl on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 9:54am.

I hope the girls on this show realize part of the "journey" is sucking dick for a role, being abused, and drug and alcohol abuse.

Sad that just because Marilyn was beautiful they choose to forget all the horrible crap that happened to her. They just see pictures of her looking glamorous and they want to be like that.

Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 9:52am.

retarded.

Submitted by Stan Derp on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 9:28am.

Doubled.

Submitted by Stan Derp on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 9:27am.

Submitted by Whatever on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 11:43pm.

Hopefully this is just a joke. She did not live the glamorous life most people think. She was abused, used, and ended up an alcoholic and drug addict. All we need is Megan Fox as the "host", that would be the icing on the cake.

Megan Fox actually figured out that MM was "negative energy" and was having her tattoo removed!

http://www.hollywire.com/2011/08/megan-fox-explains-marilyn-monroe-tatto...

Submitted by skinny fat on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 8:43am.

Submitted by Whatever on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 11:45pm.

by Meatblocks on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 11:40pm.

michelle williams and lindsay are the most prolific grave robbing parasites at the moment.
double dipping shitbags so desperate for identity that they need to steal it (and then claim mystic connections ... bwaa haa haaa haaa).
michelle first milked hard from heath's (they were long done & he was dicking other chicks), then mia farrow (a live one) and then marilyn, leaving a snail trail of no personality wherever she goes.

*******************

You said it, Meatblocks (is that another name for pink slime?)

I'll boycott this fuckery. There are no real 'stars' today.

Submitted by Dannii on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 7:44am.

glad to see so much sense in the comments thread!

this was a woman who was abused by almost everyone when she was alive, and its disgusting that people are still making money off of her after her death.

but it doesnt surprise me as hollywood, and popular culture in general, have a pretty fucked up attitude towards women. look at famous women now-kim k and the like, and look at by what means they became famous. hollywood likes women who debase themselves for fame because they are easier to control and if they get too uppity-slut shame. so much for fucking equality!

Submitted by dorian_graye on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 6:46am.

The sad part is that bitches will watch this shit instead of boycotting this type of fuckery!!!

Submitted by Mr. Happy on Fri, 04/13/2012 - 12:32am.

just saw Casablanca @ theater restored,beautiful.my critically ill wife hadn't seen it before,and with all the editing and cropping you miss quite a bit.you could see Ingrids tears.made us both cry a little,but o.k.Marylin talent bashers should see her in Niagara,in a decently equipped movie theater.probably change your mind.agree sad life,rumors of part time prostituting herself at arrival and of course always the big one...women almost NEVER commit "suicide" in the nude.

Submitted by SalmaNella on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 10:53pm.

@ within reason
I saw that Jack asked about your avie too. I saw it. :-) Didn't recognize that it was Marion Cotillard. She was excellent as Edith Piaf.

Submitted by Whatever on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 10:15pm.

by Meatblocks on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 11:40pm.

Yup, I won't argue anything you just said.

Submitted by Whatever on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 10:13pm.

Submitted by Meatblocks on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 10:10pm.

.....................................................
"The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing."
~Edmund Burke

*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*

Submitted by humans_off_earth_now on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 9:28pm.

Don't forget Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, now!

Gah, can't believe I've still never gotten around to seeing that one! K, I shall. Rilly.

Oh, and here's the always indispensable Steve Hayes (Tired Old Queen at the Movies) discussing the virtues of "Niagara," with clips

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2I3_Mw5864

****
"End well: this isn't going to." - MK

Submitted by harperharper on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 9:00pm.

Who is in charge of MM's estate? Is it still
That acting coach's daughter? (Forgot his name)

"Shalikla!"

Submitted by aradia07 on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 8:52pm.

Perhaps I overestimated the mentality of the public when I predicted this reality shit would go away a few years ago.

Submitted by NonnyMouse on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 8:51pm.

Wasn't Marilyn born in Los Angeles? What fucking journey are they talking about, sucking off producers?

Submitted by MarkyMark7 on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 8:18pm.

The contestants had better get cracking on perfecting their oral skills.

Submitted by WithinReason... on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 8:01pm.

Little_rascal, she was breathtaking in Niagara! I remember going into a poster place once and seeing so many of hers and ALL WERE PERFECTION! LOL, yes I'll stop now. (Won't list all her movies!)
*winks at Humans_of_the_Earth* ;)

Salma, yes Rita too, Gilda has to be one of my fave films of all time! Sorry I missed your post the other day, I responded but you'd already gone. Did you see it?

OnT: how can this show succeed? What next? Jayne Mansfield? Hehehe

•-•-•-•-•-•
"Ayúdame, no puedo!" - MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦♮♠░░░░

Submitted by MrrKat on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 7:42pm.

Submitted by Lope on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 9:08pm.
Great. So some young girl can live a miserable life, be treated like an airhead ho for decades and get dumped by man after man before finally killing herself in her mid-30s. That's a fantastic legacy to pass on.

^^^^^^THIS x12!

Submitted by MrrKat on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 7:41pm.

Submitted by humans_off_earth_now on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 8:40pm.
At this point I'm starting to wish Marilyn had never been born (except for "Some Like it Hot" and "Bus Stop.")

Don't forget Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, now!

Submitted by Lope on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 7:38pm.

Great. So some young girl can live a miserable life, be treated like an airhead ho for decades and get dumped by man after man before finally killing herself in her mid-30s. That's a fantastic legacy to pass on.

Submitted by megank on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 7:26pm.

I really don't get the Marilyn Monroe obsession everyone has. It's not just Lilo. Like someone else said, I almost wish she never existed because the fascination is annoying. I mean, we have a TV show on NOW about playing MM. Why do we need a reality show?

Submitted by humans_off_earth_now on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 7:10pm.

At this point I'm starting to wish Marilyn had never been born (except for "Some Like it Hot" and "Bus Stop.")

Jesus TITS with this fucking BULLSHIT. Time to NUKE HOLLYWOOD FROM ORBIT.

****
"End well: this isn't going to." - MK

Submitted by SalmaNella on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 7:05pm.

http://www.amazon.com/Fragments-Poems-Intimate-Notes-Letters/dp/03741583...

If you are a Marilyn fan this was quite insightful to who she really was - much more complex, sensitive, and intelligent than she was portrayed.

Submitted by joanne on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 6:58pm.

I wish they would let this woman RIP. I watched Gentlemen Prefers Blondes the other day. I forgot how good it was.

Submitted by SalmaNella on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 6:37pm.

Enough with these dumb ass reality shows. With all of the social media sites it is really difficult to find true raw talent/beauty like a Marilyn Monroe or a Rita Hayworth. What usually floats to the surface is poop like Snooki or Tila Tequila.

Submitted by little_rascal on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 6:36pm.

Submitted by WithinReason... on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 7:11pm.

Submitted by little_rascal on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 6:20pm.
... This needs 'Why Are You Pulling My Dick?' and 'Please Report To the Devil's Office' tags.
--
HAHAHAHAAHHA rascal, and tag: We can all go home now

Marilyn was an excellent actress btw!

LOL tag: Butchery ;P

=========
Totally agree about Marilyn being a very talented actress! My favorite movie with her is "Niagara", she is so extraordinary beautiful and fantastic in that dramatic role.
I've read every book about Marilyn, and she had so much heartbreak, loneliness and pain in her life. Little Norma Jean never had a chance.

Submitted by femguide on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 6:13pm.

Does anyone know what movie the header pic is from?

** http://feministguidetohollywood.blogspot.com **

Submitted by christine the hoff on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 5:55pm.

so which Kennedy will she have to fuck? most of them are dead.

------------------------------------------------

I have never loved life so much.

Submitted by babybunny on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 5:44pm.

I just saw her in a movie were she bandied up with a cowboy and drifted down a river...that woman was completely breathtaking...the best body ever hands down, the sweetest face...just a lovely lovely soul....to be true to Marilyn you have to be true to her vulnerabilities...making a mockery also known as a Kardashian of this beautiful woman by butchering her image for Reality T.V. which I think is played in hell's waiting room...loops of Keeping up with the Kardashian's STD's...and stuff like that....well that is just sick! They will probably end up with a truckload of Rock of Love Rejects, ex-strippers and ho's...and pretend to class them up, but all they will do is make another mockery of this wonderful soul...and for that I promise I will shoot my t.v. (the cheap one...)...cause I cannot go for that!

Submitted by WithinReason... on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 5:41pm.

Marilyn was an excellent actress btw!

LOL tag: Butchery ;P

•-•-•-•-•-•
"Ayúdame, no puedo!" - MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦♮♠░░░░

Submitted by Thamar on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 5:32pm.

"....murder my TV and make it look like a suicide"....hehehe

Submitted by kittymuffin on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 5:20pm.

As beautiful and kind she was..she seemed so unhappy

Submitted by Britneys cheap ... on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 5:15pm.

This doesn't make sense!!
I don't understand how they can emulate her life.
Will the "it girl" over dose or be murdered?

Submitted by Stan Derp on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 5:10pm.

Submitted by Vern on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 6:22pm.

It would be more interesting and ethical if they did the "Tracy Lords trip to Hollywood."

LOl! Casting couch night!

Submitted by Gordian Knot on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 5:01pm.

I'm fer sure the maggots still eating Marilyn's flesh are insulted by this...

Submitted by GrecoSuave on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 5:12pm.

Submitted by aradia07 on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 6:28pm.

Emulate Marilyn's journey?

Will the "journey" includes foster homes, mentally ill relatives, sexual abuse and fucking her way to the top and alcoholism?
__________________________________________________

Apparently it will include all the above, which is why the producers have opted for a laugh track.

Submitted by Stan Derp on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 4:59pm.

Submitted by aradia07 on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 6:28pm.

Emulate Marilyn's journey?

I agree...do they get to overdose at the end?

Submitted by aradia07 on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 4:58pm.

Emulate Marilyn's journey?

Will the "journey" includes foster homes, mentally ill relatives, sexual abuse and fucking her way to the top and alcoholism?

I am not judging, just pointing out facts.
Let the woman RIP!

Submitted by Spaz de la Whoreta on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 4:57pm.

Submitted by oh dave on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 6:16pm.

This would be good but they should do it by using psychic mediums working with actresses who will reveal Marilyn's Messages From Beyond on whatever she has to say about things. It would be like Project Runway and psychics and actresses would be booted off if we didn't think they were really talking to Marilyn.

☆☆☆☆
Perfect. There could be some other dead-celebrity tie-ins, like Houdini, Jayne Mansfield, and Nancy Reagan.

Submitted by Barb Dwyer on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 4:57pm.

Is the fucking estate still run by the Strasburg widow, Anna???? Damn, she really gives a fuck about keeping Monroe relevant, huh? She would sell bits of Monroe's bones if it made a buck for her.....Yeech!

Submitted by GrecoSuave on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 4:56pm.

Submitted by Event Horizon on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 6:19pm.

It says something when a drug addicted, physically altered, emotionally disturbed, over sexed, mediocore actress is idolized by hollywood...
____________________________________________________

Well, that takes care of Central Casting's complete listings and all the major agencies. It doesn't include the wannabe staff down at In & Out Burger, though.

Submitted by QuweenJillian on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 4:54pm.

Marilyn hated her life, this is stupid.

_______________________________________

I'm not a slut, I'm sexually liberated. There's a difference.
_______________________________________

Submitted by Vern on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 4:52pm.

It would be more interesting and ethical if they did the "Tracy Lords trip to Hollywood."

*chanting as always*

Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.

Submitted by RandéSleepover on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 4:50pm.

Will they get to fuck a Kennedy?

* * * * * * * * * * *

Please: It's "rahnday."

Submitted by little_rascal on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 4:50pm.

NOOOOOOOOO!

This needs 'Why Are You Pulling My Dick?' and 'Please Report To the Devil's Office' tags.

Submitted by Event Horizon on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 4:49pm.

It says something when a drug addicted, physically altered, emotionally disturbed, over sexed, mediocore actress is idolized by holloywood because she had blond hair, was easy on the eyes and died young. Seriously, theres not alot of defining characteristics about her besides those 3 things.

b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
"I'm doin hoe activities, with hoe tendencies. Hoes are my friends, hoes are my enemies."

Submitted by Gordian Knot on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 4:49pm.

GrecoSuave on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 6:17pm.

Nonsense. Hell is for children.

Thanks for chiming in, Poopy Pants Benatar!