When The Headline Is EVERYTHING
Sometimes the headline is so perfect that I don't need to read the entire story behind it. I don't need to know why Newt was near a penguin. (Maybe he IS The Penguin?) I don't need to know why that penguin got cunty with Newt. (Maybe it's a Romney-lover and was trying to push him out of the election exit door? Or maybe Newt tried to slip that sessy penguin his Skype number and it's taken by another penguin?) I don't need to know the answers to any of those questions, because it will cheapen that headline. That headline just needs to sit there, look pretty and be that headline.
I probably love People's picture choice as much as I love their headline. Contrary to popular belief, I don't stare at hi-res pictures of Newt's face all day, so I never noticed that when he purses his lips like a bitchy queen reading a ho, a tiny skin donut (aka a puckery no-no) forms on his face taint. No wonder glambot Callista Gingrich sticks with his ass.
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And the penguin died soon after from contracting Rabies?
LOL but I'm a little worried for the penguin. I just hope it's still in good health! That's all! ;]
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"Latin and Greek are not dead, they are immortal!"
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦♮♠░░░░
I really love that they put under the pics that Newt is the one on the left.
(kiss this)--------------------------->>> (_!_)
This is solid evidence that penguins have some brains and a good BS detector. Love your avie, Island Girl. bwahaha. Team Penguin always.
Mk you are on fire today. I was beginning to think you lost the magic.
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You shouldn't have tried to wife the bitch. She's not that type of ho.
TEAM PENGUIN.
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It's scary that there are two dorks in this world with artichoke choke fur on their heads. - Dog on the subject of Jedward, Tue, 03/20/2012 - 9:05pm.
...reminds one of Beverly Leslie...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EvmEu_rx_zk
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...'It's as if he's using the paint to represent something he's seen'...
Don't blame the penguin. Blame the person who named himself after a fish. If someone says *newt* around a penguin, they're gonna get bitten.
Smart penguin. I hope he didn't give that penguin salmonella.
Submitted by little_rascal on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 4:08pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 4:08pm.
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hahaha....
*returns to watching Top Chef Canada, I think Eye of Newt is on the menu* :P
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 3:02pm.
************NEWS FLASH*************
Penguins make bad decisions on what they put in their mouth....
*******NEWSFLASH*******
The penguin has moved on.
(a 5:00 pm unsolicited press release on the subject says so)
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And little one, hold out for a c-section. You don't want to slide down that. ~ Sweetas
On topic: I xoxoxo Penguins
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Worrying is using your imagination
to create something you don’t want.
lol @ that pic and "skin donut on his face taint" MK!! As soon as I saw it I thought "toilet seat". And he does look like he's getting ready to snatch a wig. Bravo, People mag and the penguin...Batman was so wrong about you.
Speaking of avatars, how can I get one? I go to the page where you can apply for one, but it says I'm not authorised to be there. What gives?
I love how the article has to state which person is Newt just below the photos! ha ha ha What a douche.
Wow, what a great audience.
I love how the article has to state which person is Newt just below the photos! ha ha ha What a douche.
Wow, what a great audience.
Submitted by islandgirl on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 4:03pm.
Ahahaha, cue avie change! :)
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Islandgirl, your penguin avie is simply perfect! Hahahaha
Submitted by islandgirl on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 4:03pm.
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Hey Pengy watch your ste...oh..never mind:)
Did anyone get that poor penguin checked for rabies? Or hoof in mouth disease?
This day is dragging. 25 more minutes!
Gingrich is nothing but a pompous twit. I hope that penguin was rabid.
Ahahaha, cue avie change! :)
This is hows it's being reported on Fox News
Today Newt Gingrich single handedly stopped a left winged Penguin uprising. The Penguin squeaking Left Wing rhetoric attacked Newt but Newt showing the courage of 100 Tea Party Members stopped the Penguin cold in its tracks but in the process suffered and near fatal bite that his health insurance did not cover.
When asked to comment on his heroic deed Newt with the humility that only a Newt can show said, "Faced with sure death I'm just glad I reacted as any brave soldier would and was able to stop him before any Republicans were hurt"
ig...*snort*
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Look for ol' Newt to make that penguin Wife #4 by convention time.
This was just the penguins way of saying...You go home now FAT BOY!
gonna rent "Happy Feet" in honor of this Aquatic Antartican-American. a true patriot, that one.
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by islandgirl on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 3:42pm.
I hope Newt doesn't end up penguant.
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Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 3:02pm.
************NEWS FLASH*************
Penguins make bad decisions on what they put in their mouth....
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Bravo, dear commenters. Bravo.
Wat do you expect.
They stand around helplessly all day in a group in the cold waiting for someone to hand out food.
Submitted by islandgirl on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 3:42pm.
I hope Newt doesn't end up penguant.
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AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Damn you, Dr.Pepper is now up my fucking nose!
Submitted by Anonymous101 on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 3:41pm.
I'm a Republican, but I hate Newt and this post did give me a serious case of the HAHAHAs :P
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I'm slightly to the right of Genghis Khan, but I think that Penguin is fantastic. Can't stand Newt. I'd bite him too, but I'd get in trouble and he'd probably enjoy it.
I hope Newt doesn't end up penguant.
How's the penguin?
I'm a Republican, but I hate Newt and this post did give me a serious case of the HAHAHAs :P
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Kitten Kaboodle - a Disney ho who did the ho stroll right ;)
If you weren't such a little bitch you wouldn't have gotten "penguin bite."
Too bad Newt wasn't visiting the polar bear exhibit . . .
I hope that penguin is up to date on its shots and didn't catch anything from that old hypocritical closeted queen.
Lol @ sucky's comment :-)
TEAM PENGUIN!
Lucy, you are soooo lucky!
Maybe the penguin was thinking he was a fig newt
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
He's used to Callista's pointy-ass, sharp, pecky face all over him. No big deal.
It can't be said enough: poor penguin!! Penguin party 2012.
Oh, that headline. It's like a parody of a headline. So glorious.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Tue, 04/17/2012 - 3:17pm.
Was it one of the gay penguins? That would explain everything.
Come on, a gay penguin would have better taste than that
Newt Gingrich is a hypocritical asshole and too bad it wasn't a fucking tiger that bit him.
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
Was it one of the gay penguins? That would explain everything.
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
apparently he got bitten by a baby cougar a few years back. Someone needs to tell him what happened to Steve Irwin while playing too close to the animals.
Wow, what a great audience.
Too funny. I think its because Newt supports oil extraction from his native lands.
I have been to that penguin exhibit. It reeks of fish. The penguins probably thought that Newt was a big piece of tuna sushi. Poor penguin, I hope that it didn't get salmonella .
OMG My family goes to that zoo all the time and let me tell you it is like they WANT you to touch the penguins. There is seriously nothing between you and them, all you'd have to do is reach over the little barrier and pet one. My sister and I have been planning on doing this for years LOL
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
hope it hurt like a mf. :)
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.