John Doe #2 Will Go Away For $250K

As expected, John Doe #1 dropped his $2 million sexual harassment lawsuit against John Travolta after his lawyer broke up with him. John Doe #1 might file the lawsuit again if he gets another lawyer, but I’m not sure that’s going to happen since he’s probably too busy counting the stack of money he magically found in an E.T. duffel bag stashed in the bushes outside of the Scientology Center. Speaking of settlements, John Doe #2 isn’t being shy about asking for one. John Doe #2’s lawyer, the same one who dropped John Doe #1, tells Radar that his client will happily settle with John Travolta for a rock bottom price of $250,000. Just like John Doe #1, John Doe #2 is suing Travolta for $2 million. Bitch is giving Travolta a steal!

John Doe #2’s lawyer Okorie Okorocha says that his client doesn’t really went to relive the gross memory of being groped by Travolta in that suite in Atlanta and wants to be done with all of this:

“My client will settle for $250k to make this go away quickly and without having any further action being taken in this case. My client wants his life back and for that to happen at this point we would be willing to accept a settlement. I have been speaking with Marty Singer about establishing the ground rules for arbitration/mediation in this case. We haven’t agreed on anything yet, or which private judge will hear the case. I want it to be one judge, Marty Singer would like more than one judge. These are sticking points that we can work out if this case doesn’t settle. I haven’t discussed any settlement figures with Marty yet but I anticipate we will be having those discussions very soon.

Look my client is a very tall man, weighs about 300 pounds and is also a personal trainer so a private judge could absolutely look at him and wonder how much in damages he really suffered. If this could settle quickly, well, obviously, that would be the best result for all parties involved.”

This might make John Doe #2 look like a con artist with a shady lawyer who appreciates the art of swindling a trick, but maybe he doesn’t want to sit there and go into detail about how John’s anus lips kept wiggling for his finger like a worm’s mouth looking for a snack. Maybe he doesn’t want another set of scars on his brain. Whatever the case may be, John Travolta is probably going to come out on top after all of this. And yes, that is the first time and only time I will ever describe John Travolta as being on top.