Tommy Is All Natural, Thankyouverymuch
You see Tommy Girl making the rock 'n roll sign, but I see Tommy making the salad tosser sign. Well, I can't help it that I see a tiny butt crack when Tommy puts his ring and middle finger together.
To sell his new movie Cock of Ages, Tommy worked his weave and flexed his cum gutters for W Magazine (click here to see all the piping hot heterosexualness) and also gave an interview to Playboy. (When Tommy says he reads Playboy for the articles, nobody accuses of him of lie-telling.) In the interview with Playboy, Tommy talks about never tucking his face, acting the fool in interviews and sending his lawyers after gossiping bitches. Tommy actually sounds like his head is on earth with the rest of us and not floating up in Xenu's kingdom, and that tells me that Scientology's doctors must have invented a "vitamin" that temporarily sedates the crazy in a bitch. Here's a few choice quotes from Tommy's tea time with Playboy:
On how he maintains his beauty at the age of 49: "I honestly have no idea. [laughs] I work. I’m always with family. I train, go without sleep. I just go hard."
On if a plastic surgeon's scalpel has ever touched his face: "I haven’t, and I never would."
On how 30-year-old Tommy is different from almost 50-year-old Tommy: "I’ve always had the same values. Family for me has always been important. When I shoot, everybody comes. When Kate’s shooting, I’m there with her and the kids. We’re always together. I’m always around my mother and sisters. I always wanted to be a father, a husband. And I’ve always had a work ethic. I’ve had paying jobs since I was about eight years old—cutting grass, raking leaves, paper routes, selling Easter cards and Christmas cards."
On how Def Leppard was amazed by his voice when he sang one of their songs for them (prepare your eyes for rolling): "Well, the lead singer, Joe Elliott, points at me and goes, 'Fuck you! Fuck you!' Then I saw big smiles on their faces, and I realized I’d gotten their stamp. It was a very cool moment. It was important they knew I was honoring their music and not making fun of them."
On jumping on Oprah's couch and spewing crazy shit about Brooke Shields' postpartum depression: "I agree with you, and I never meant it that way. When I go back and look at it, I find myself thinking, I don’t feel that way. I get how it came across, but I don’t feel that way, and I never have. Telling people how to live their lives? I saw how that came across and how pieces were edited."
On if he's keeping his mouth shut about Scientology: "What’s interesting is, if I don’t talk about my religion, if I say I’m not discussing it or different humanitarian things I’m working on, they’re like, 'He’s avoiding it.' If I do talk about it, it becomes, 'Oh, he’s proselytizing.' Reviewing the whole thing and how things can be edited and misinterpreted, I decided, You know what? Here’s the deal. I take responsibility for what happened, but everyone now knows that if I am dealing with humanitarian things, I will talk about that. When I’m promoting a film, I’m not going to get caught up in anything else, and that includes all my personal things."
On if he ever thought the couch jumping and anti-anti-depressant rantings would screw up his career: "No, I really didn’t. But it was important to me to take responsibility, take a hard look and decide where I go from here. That time was interesting. It was that moment when the internet had really spun out. It was a learning experience for all of us, how these things go. All you can do is learn and say, “This is the way it’s going to go from now on. Here is the line.”
On why he's sued over shit written about him or his family: "They know I mean it, that if I have to, I will sue. You start with a letter saying, 'Okay, you know it’s not true. Apologize.' There is a point with a lot of things when you just go, You know what? I don’t want to waste my time with this. I’m busy. I’d rather spend this time with my kids and my wife, at home or on our movies, creating a life together. If you have kids, it is the most important thing to create good times.
On how he recently uploaded a screenwriting program into his Stepford Beard's hard drive: "She is an extraordinary person, and if you spent five minutes with her, you’d see it. Everything she does, she does with this beautiful creativity. When she becomes interested in something, she doesn’t talk about it, she does it. One week I said to her, 'You’ve been up in the middle of the night. Is everything okay?' She smiled and then threw this thing on my desk and said, 'I wrote this script.' She wanted to try it, and she did. She wanted to try designing clothes, and now her line is wonderful and, to me, an example of how she just creates beautiful things in her life. She has a voice and warmth as an artist, as a mother. She’s funny and charming, and when she walks into the room, I just feel better. I’m a romantic. I like doing things like creating romantic dinners, and she enjoys that. I don’t know what to say—I’m just happy, and I have been since the moment I met her. What we have is very special."
Sort of kind of sane, right? That said, I don't know if I buy that the thetans on his face aren't weighed down with plastic, but then again regular facials in the Scientology men's sauna probably does wonders for the skin. And why didn't I ever notice that Tommy's tongue looks like a peen with a swollen tip?
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Submitted by : "...He doesn't know who the hell he is and exists in a cliched tacky hollywood way because he believes that is what you do."
Agree. There was a story about Tom sort at Jimmy Kimmel's house where a bunch of guys were sitting around watching football and he was all over-the-top shouting at the TV and all intense and trying so hard to fit in with the guys. And everyone was snickering behind his back at the way he was so unnatural. It seemed like that's always the way Tom is. He has nowhere to fit in. He doesn't know who he is. I feel sorry for him.
He tries too hard. That's basically it. AND WHY? Because he is disingenuous. Because he is not talented. Because he is insecure. Because he has the short man syndrome. Because he has no sense of humor or wit. Because he is uneducated.
If he was a genuinely fully formed and grown human being he would be comfortable in his own shoes (and not the platform ones), and he wouldn't have a fake marriage, parade his 'happy' family, and follow an empty and phony and alleged religion.
He doesn't know who the hell he is and exists in a cliched tacky hollywood way because he believes that is what you do. Kind of reminds me of the character Peter Sellers played in BEING THERE. sad...
A friend of mine is someone who has worked with Def Leppard for a LOOOOONG time...can't wait to hear what he thinks of Tommy girl's voice.
Submitted by crazyinjapan on Tue, 05/15/2012 - 11:28pm.
I hate it that Tom renamed her Kate. She's KATIE Holmes, and she used to have a good career in front of her, Dawson's Creek, Thank You For Smoking, Batman Begins, and Pieces of April were all so good.
^^^^^
Okeeeehhhh... sorry but LMAO. I have never seen her in ANYTHING where I couldn't picture someone else doing the part better. She's just like fucking wallpaper...utterly forgettable.
I swear, when I first saw this pic on my crackberry and saw the word "Tommy" I thought it was Tommy Lee for a sec! Then I realized that I'm old, my phone sux, and....oh yeah, Tommygirl has never given me the hot sex vibe. he really does seem asexual, like Michael Jackson.
She has no choice but to do some comedy now to show everyone how she sooooo does not take hermelf too seriously. (And we see that she still does. Gotta hand it to Tommygirl, she is consistent.)
Has this post been deleted?
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So, my advice is you can’t make a ho a housewife. Don’t try to reinvent the wheel. Let her do what she born to do: ho. Yeah. HO. Punk bitch.
@Jesus...ha ha. Did you see my post? I hadn't read yours yet. You're right...I get nothing from him. NO vibe at all. It was the same with George Michael. I thought it was because he was gay. But you could be right...he could just be nothing. I'd believe that.
Travolta...I don't know about that guy.
He never did anything for me...even when he was dancing in his underwear in Risky Business. Before Scientology...before any of his missteps. I just never got a vibe from him. And I've got to say...it was the same with George Michael.
I feel sorry for him. I'm not curious at all about this movie. Not at all. I wish he could laugh at himself a little. If he was capitalizing on Glee, he should have played gay . That would have been interesting. But he's too insecure for that so is coming out with all this look at me, I'm so sexy thing. Who is he hoping to woo? Women his age won't like this and younger women...no matter how hard you try Tom...are only going to see an old man. I can see why he had to sever his relationship with the studios and start his own production company if these are the sorts of projects he wanted to tackle. There were rumours that he married Katie because she was so much younger and it would help him win a younger audience. Problem is, he like aged her twenty years overnight.
Let's talk about why they don't have more kids and the rumours that the baby belongs to her former boyfriend Kevin someone. It was said Tom would make his career disappear. I guess he has because I can't remember his name and I've never seen him in another movie. Have you?
And another thing, a friend of mine worked on an intense scene with him, involving sex and murder, she is a Royal Shakespeare actor; was told not to look at him or speak to him while his mouth was all over her tits. She and the other Gerry prominent (now) English thespian told him they would walk, and would not work in such an absurd way.
So, I have a good friend, famous English gay guy. He knew Mimi Rogers after the divorce, she said the thing is, about Tommy, he isn't an ANYTHING. She said he didn't want to do the nasty with anybody. I went on to work with him, gleamingly healthy, beautiful, minders flanking him.. I have spent my life in the fashion biz, and it was true, he has NO NADA sexual energy. Nothing. You can ALWAYS feel peoples sexuality out, you don't need to want to have sex with them. He is a Ken doll with just a smooth bulb instead of genitalia.
I have operated at a high level in the fashion music biz for years, and never heard any gossip about him.
Tons about Travolta, who likes to do the biz with married men, safer, right.
NORMAL??? MK, put down the crack pipe!! that whole interview is a steaming pile of fake horseshit, starting with the no plastic surgery bullshit. I guess with the wave of his $cientolowand he looks 10 years younger than he did 10 years ago??? And the crap about his mother? yea, that's why they haven't been photographed together since that "rumor" years ago that Katie kicked those freeloaders to the curb!! And his kidS plural always being on location with he and the robowife? How do they go to school, and why aren't they ever photographed. And the funniest lie "different humanitarian things I’m working on" That could sound more fake I just don't know how. Girl please.
And WOW, humble this guy is NOT
"It's a bowl of bullshit with chip scraps"
Of course I believe everything I read....
"If Drinks are not involved, then neither am I"
Submitted by MissAnnThrope on Wed, 05/16/2012 - 10:44am.
No no, they've been together for six years. At ten years, he dumps them before they can claim half of everything!
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Tom and Katie have been together for like 10 years. As nIce as his comments are about her, wow does he sound fake. He also sounds like a real control freak. He can't be a cool rock star because he can't just relax and be real. Geesh!
I can tell you ONE thing about that tongue.
it has never touched pussy before.
I'm amazed that there are still people out there who drink his Kool-Aid, and like and admire this snake oil salesman.
takes all kinds, I guess.
all I see is: he's just fuckin creepy as all get out.
" Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer"..William S. Burroughs
That said I'd totally do him if I had the chance......hides and ducks..,.,,
We LOVE how all the photos of Miss Tammy are retouched.
Notice the shoe polish covering up her receding hairline in the one where she has the guitar on the sofa!
"I just go hard"
Lmfao!
Okay Tom. Probably thought of that one while getting your third facelift.
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Worrying is using your imagination
to create something you don’t want.
No work?? Please. His face at the MI premiere looked frozen. Not sure about a face lift but he definitely gets injections. He's also shrunk so he's about 5'4" now. Love the way he puffs his chest out like a rooster.
Ok so John Revolting is having a tough time so what to the CO$ do? They trot out Good Old HETEROSEXUAL Tommy Girl to distract everybody.
No work done? Yeah me niether.
I don't think he looks good at all. I guess I am in the minority. This interview is all kinds of comedy. Firstly because he certainly approved all fo the questions. "I just go hard." Hahahaha! Sure you do. He has never had any procedures? The mid face lift is obvious as are the restylane injections (which were nicely done at first, but then he went overboard).
Oh the "piping hot heterosexualness" -- panties are dropping *ceiling eyes* the works, HA! Those photos are so bad, I can't with them... LOL MK, it figures you'd see a peen where his tongue is, actually so could I, lmao! ;D
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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I hate it that Tom renamed her Kate. She's KATIE Holmes, and she used to have a good career in front of her, Dawson's Creek, Thank You For Smoking, Batman Begins, and Pieces of April were all so good. Then he ruined her and the fact that he renamed her pisses me off for some reason. That and he's a Scientologist and he made Katie become one. I hope Suri calls him on his bullshit. I love that Tumblr site of hers. It's like she's a combination of Stewie and Anna Wintour. lol
True story:
I never watch Dawson's Creek until the TomKat phenom. I saw a rerun of of and NO LIE in Katie Holmes script she said the word "glib".
Its such a strange word that is never used and when he said it on TODAY we all joked about it, then I see she had said it previously on her TV show?
Geez ,it made me think he had watched her show before he hired her to be his wife and he picked up on that one weird word. I would give anything if MK could dig that up.
Non related issue: Rick Santorum went to visit the Duggars gag, and Michelle Duggar, who has been getting heat regarding her terrible home schooling, is know claiming her kids are dyslexic. *eye roll*
Everything this little man does is scripted. Walking, talking, even breathing. No wonder he doesn't get tired. He's a damn robot.
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
I used to hate TG. Now I hate him AND feel second hand mortification for him. Seriously, I feel that gross humiliated feeling in my stomach for him. It makes me hate him more. It's a vicious cycle.
this picture is so on Travolta's wall
"When I shoot, everybody comes!"
*raises eyebrow*
I never saw why everyone got on him about jumping up on the couch. He was happy. If that was the "craziest" thing you've ever seen a person do, then it's time to live a little.
He was great in Magnolia with his stuffed underwear, and in Interview With the Vampire. A Few Good Men...didn't see any other films of his.
I am...doll parts...bad skin...doll heart.
Submitted by kikichanelconspiracy on Tue, 05/15/2012 - 8:16pm.
"Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 05/15/2012 - 4:31pm.
Top Gun - I think I was the only one out of all my friends and the entire damn school that watched it to drool over Val Kilmer and NOT Tommy girl."
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Val Kilmer was so much hotter that it was like Tommy wasn't even in the room.
Gah, what a loon.
Yeah? And he is still gross, gross,gross.
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Sir, you killed your date? What in the name of Phil Spector happened?
Submitted by kikichanelconspiracy on Tue, 05/15/2012 - 9:08pm.
Do NOT get me started on those arms of his! Sheer perfection!
I'm good.
I was supposed to do a favor for a friend, BUT she ended up not calling THANK GOD *prays I don't jinx myself*, so I am really good right now! LOL!
"Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 05/15/2012 - 8:20pm.
Doesn't Jeremy wear the hell out of a well tailored suit?
How are you?
((((hugs))))"
YES. *thinks about his tight little ass...again...starts to think about his ropey forearms*
Wait...what was your question again?
Oh right! I am well. Hope you are too. (((hugs back))).
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It hurts because you let your black heart beat for an asshole who can't even send you a "P.S. I'm about to fuck a hole that doesn't belong to you" text before fucking said hole that doesn't belong to you.
Please. He can play "normal," but we saw too much of da crayzay during the heydey of Tom's crayzay. We know it's still there.
And he's about as rock'n'roll as Kristen Stewart, Avril Lavigne and Anne Hathaway in pastel ball gowns. No matter how many wigs, fake tattoos and Jim Morrison pants you put on him, Tom Cruise is fundamentally uncool. You can't fake rock'n'roll awesome.
The movie looks like a Showgirls-style clusterfuck tho, and I expect cult classic from this one.
I also expect lots of Scienos to spam the various gossip sites, talking about how awesome Tommygirl looks, how much they can't wait for the movie and how smart and sane he is.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
It's Peter Pan Syndrome. I'm never going to grow up. Never.
Noooooooo! UN-SEE!!!!!!
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Shiitake happens...
Hahahaha! I thought you said geriatric at first.
Submitted by kittymuffin on Tue, 05/15/2012 - 7:44pm.
eeww...his tongue looks like a fruit roll up..and i mean the generic kind
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What in the praying mantis crackhooker hell is this?! - MK 9/09
" Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer"..William S. Burroughs
Team iceman!!! Everyone knows the other tom is bi as hell. It shouldn't matter but I am obsessed with knowing if he's gay or not. (this Tom) any dlisters have any info????
Submitted by kikichanelconspiracy on Tue, 05/15/2012 - 8:16pm.
Doesn't Jeremy wear the hell out of a well tailored suit?
How are you?
((((hugs))))
"Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 05/15/2012 - 4:31pm.
Top Gun - I think I was the only one out of all my friends and the entire damn school that watched it to drool over Val Kilmer and NOT Tommy girl."
If you had gone to school, you could have joined my Iceman fan club. It was a very exclusive club, but we always welcomed new members.
I saw MI:GP over the weekend, but I have to say I thought it was kind of boring. I was mesmerized by Jeremy Renner's tight little ass though.
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It hurts because you let your black heart beat for an asshole who can't even send you a "P.S. I'm about to fuck a hole that doesn't belong to you" text before fucking said hole that doesn't belong to you.
Great job not answering how youre different at 50 vs 30. If you can't name one way youre different 20 years later in life, what the fuck is wrong with you?
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"I felt very still & very empty, the way the eye of a tornado must feel, moving dully along in the middle of the surrounding hullabaloo."
Katie - oh, I'm sorry, KATE - is extraordinary? Just like Suri is an extraordinary woman? I'm sorry, I would not use that word to describe anyone I know and it's not because I don't know amazing people. Unless you are describing someone who is supreeeemely talented/skilled (MJ and dancing, Einstein and physics) or who has accomplished some major feat (neither of which describes Katie), stop with the extraordinary.
And please, we all know what's in that head of yours, Tom: crazy.
Aaaand he came up with the fabulous "you're being glib,,matt!" Anyone who butts heads with that smarmy over rated hairplugged tassel loafer wearing handjob matt lauer gets credit.
His crazy is more accessible than that of his thespian peers. So what. I find him refreshingly funny. Apparently a reporter who met him and katie (kate! Ha. Like kate middleton making 'katherine' happen..) and neither of them ever break eye contact. I sort of adore crazy intense people so it's perfect. It's a shame he got sucked into scientology.
He was amazing in magnolia andthat movie with jamie foxx where he played a matter of fact hit man who doled out tough love life advice. Excellence. Tommy shine on you crazy diamond!
He looks stupid and his religion is suitable for co-dependents. They stay close in order to monitor each others behaviour - no going off-side.
Does anyone else think he looks just like Kristen Stewart? Put him in Marchesa and some Chuck Taylors and he might fool rpat.
eeww...his tongue looks like a fruit roll up..and i mean the generic kind
He was the weak link in The Outsiders.
http://burning-plastic.tumblr.com/