Savannah Guthrie Will Replace Ann Curry
It's not going to be Hoda Kotb or Meredith V or my personal choice Willard Scott. Savannah Guthrie will sit on the co-anchor chair that will have a revenge fart from Ann Curry on it. Savannah's the one all the way to the right who's giving that dried green paint some competition in the no personality contest.
TMZ says that Savannah's deal to be Today's new co-host is signed, sealed and awaiting delivery. Today isn't announcing her as the new co-host until they wrap shit up with Ann Curry. Ann has two years left on her $30 million 3-year contract and she wants the full $20 million to go away. NBC has offered her $10 million and a job as a foreign correspondent for NBC News, but Ann is shaking her head no to that shit deal. Ann is fucking done professionally with NBC and wants to leave the network for good. Ann wants her $20 million and nothing else.
Ann needs to put her hands around that NBC peacock's betraying bitch of a neck and not let go until that whore coughs up all $20 million. I had this customer service job once and one of my co-workers got fired for being a bitch to the customers. Did I mention that I loved her so? Well, when they pink-slipped her ass they told her she needed to come back the next day to sign some exit papers and pick up her last check. This bitch refused to sashay out the exit door until they put her last check in her hands. She sat on her chair, hugged her pocketbook and quietly talked shit to herself about her supervisors and the job. I played Mimi's "Hero" on a loop on my computer speakers. The bosses eventually gave in and gave her the check. That's what Ann needs to do. Sit in her chair and tell those bitches her legs aren't going to work until they drop $20 million into her checking account.
And about Savannah as the new co-host.... I was hoping if it wasn't going to be Hoda or Tamron Hall, it would be Natalie Morales. But I guess that would be awkward, because when I Googled "Natalie Morales Matt Lauer" this came up:
But then again, when I Googled "Savannah Guthrie Matt Lauer" this came up:
And "Ann Curry Matt Lauer":
And this (no, that is definitely not sloppily 'Shopped to shit, shut up):
So I guess if NBC wanted a co-host who hasn't been winked at by Matt Lauer's peen, there only option would be Al Roker. I think.
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That Savannah chick is more boring than Ann Curry. I would have went for Hoda or Natalie, after Meredith said Hell to the No.
MK, this may be one of your funniest write-ups ever.
Sarah Smile
Weak. WEAK.
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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 10:21pm.
I'd love to go back in time and fuck the living shit out of Lindsey Buckingham.
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Ditto Lucy, to death ♥! ;p
OnT: These anchors are paid a LOT!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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@parissucksliterally
We use to get Good Day LA nationally, but somehow it was taken off the air about ten years ago. Back then Jillian couldn't get or keep a man and the other one only talked about her kid.
I was rooting for Andy Cohen! He would be perfect next to Matt and it would be Today Show/Bravo.
Those morning programs are unwatchable. I have TCM on. Old movies in the morning rule (usually). Matt Lauer has no redeeming qualities.
Submitted by unemployed_bum on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 10:17pm.
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 8:30pm.
I'd love to go back in time and fuck the living shit out of Lindsey Buckingham.
Yet another asshole I've never heard of.
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 8:30pm.
Submitted by unemployed_bum on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 4:24pm.
I'm drooling over your avie. I am obsessed with Lindsey Buckingham
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Lindsey is perfection
That woman in the blue dress looks like she just got a dildo shoved up her ass.
I checked out when they named Ann co-host. It wasn't all her fault. There was just not enough going for Today to keep me watching once the teleprompter inept Curry got a permanent seat on the sofa. I was always meh about Matt, Al has annoyed the shit out of me since he was a local weatherman, and I was still holding a grudge against NBC for cancelling Passions for an hour of Kathy Lee, a bottle of wine, and journalist hostage Hoda Kotb. Ann was just another reason not to watch. I don't miss it and doubt I'll ever have a good enough reason to tune back in.
Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 2:47pm.
If MK had a morning show, I'd listen.
Submitted by chewinsmoke on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 3:18pm.
YES!!!!!!!!! Michael K to replace Ann Curry! That would be some good morning television!
I sometimes wish I could Bewitched-style myself into a smexy man so I could seduce MK and spend a month listening to his private stories, I bet he has a ton of hilarious. #notastalker /smirk
Submitted by unemployed_bum on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 4:24pm.
I'm drooling over your avie. I am obsessed with Lindsey Buckingham.
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"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
- Yogi Berra
There was a blind item (CDAN, I think) about this a bit ago. It was suggested that Matty wants Miss Blondee as his new side-piece now that he's done with Natalie. /shrug She's boring to me, but it might be fun to watch the new train wreck happen.
ETA: @Whamo...I so agree! #getmoneybitch
MK, you are my freaking hero. I love it!!! I sincerely hope you played that freedom song for her. To all the bitches out there that tell their boss to f**k off are my guiding light, my freaking angel, my hero. I HATE my bosses and I wish them all a serious bout of warts and hemorrhoids that are so terrible, so awful, that they bleed. I despise them. Do I wish them harm? NO! They are miserable, sad little mites, and I want them to live their unfortunate lives. That makes me happy. JERKS.
Lauer didn't want Hoda because she's the only one who won't bone him.
Savannah Guthrie has no lips and a permanent dirty sanchez clinging to the area above where her lip would normally be.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Ann Curry is awful, get rid of her. She Stinks!
I turned on GMA the other day. Meh. I didn't find it any better than Today, frankly. I've been watching Today for freaking years so I'm not seeing myself change now.
Meh, I don't mind this. Ann Curry drives me nuts. I'm willing to give SG a chance. She's pretty smart, she's a lawyer, so we'll see if she can step up. She may have been laying low this whole time so as not to offend and now that she's in the big chair she may do better. We'll see.
As long as she doesn't get that whispery phony voice when she's talking to someone who had something horrible happen to them I'm good.
who still watches this crap?
let it die already.
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
Instead of getting rid of the anchors, they need to get better stories. I can't believe the freaks they bring into the studio that are considered "experts". The only thing I pick up from watching the today show is that I, too, can be an "expert" if I have blonde hair(or a trendy haircut), perky tits, and some hip clothes/makeup. Argh... why would I take resume advice from some chick that looks like she didn't need a resume to get that job at Cosmo magazine!!!?
I really need some fucking breast implants NOW!!!1
Savannah Guthrie is a big bore and makes my white bread look like pumpernickel and no, that's not a compliment, but at least Ann will be gone. she really sucked dangling donkey balls and I predicted her demise pretty much from the start.
too bad Matt already fucked with Natalie Morales - at least seems like she has a brain.
LMAO @ this post. I hate Savannah more than I was annoyed by Ann. Hope she makes them pay the full $20m.
Submitted by TexnDoc: "One liberal idiot for another. Why not Mika Boobinski who would just have to walk down to a different studio. Poor thing has to sit next to pompous Joe Scarborough every am. Even Matt Lauer is a step up from that."
While I DO feel bad for Mika being surrounded by those gasbags who never let her get a word in edgewise, and I like her patrician UES style, she can be insufferable, too. She drops names like dandruff and has ZERO idea what it's like to be an average person.
Ann Curry looks like a completely insane person.
Whamo -- you'd be watching Gwenyth lead the a.m. news? You do like your porn/news cleaned up, in a high-class
class kinda way? Try reading Goop while yanking off to OctoMom, that otta cure you. *I keed, Whamo, I keed*
My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens...and weasels.
Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 2:47pm.
YES!!!!!!!!! Michael K to replace Ann Curry! That would be some good morning television!
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
"anything with a vagina Matt Lauer" print screen is freakin' hilarious. LMAO!!!!!!!
It serves NBC right with the way they've portrayed Ann in the press. They also screwed up the entire Leno to Conan to Leno transition. Get your money Ann!!!
I don't care. I hate them all.
I don't have any sympathy for Ann Curry. She's been a cunt to her neighbors for years while her townhouse is under renovation. Bitch is getting her due.
http://allwomenstalk.com/ann-curry-slapped-with-4th-lawsuit/
http://newyorkgritty.net/?p=1644
http://observer.com/2005/08/ann-currys-loud-renovations/
http://gawker.com/117987/gossip-roundup-like-a-crap-neighbor-ann-currys-...
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"Being a fucking idiot is a valuable commodity in this culture because you're rewarded significantly." ~~ Jon Hamm
Submitted by elanenergy on Tue, 06/26/2012 -
The only "anchor" that makes any sense at all with the NBC elitist talking heads is to make Gwenyth Paltrow its anchor
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You KNOW I'd be watching that shit:)
Submitted by ditquoi on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 2:33pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 2:27pm.
exactly I'd be picking my nose on air, farting, sticking my tongue in Matt's ear...
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I'd be picking Matt's nose and farting in his ear:P
Good for Ann Curry. Hold out, take the ridiculously huge amount of money that no one at NBC deserves and then burn it down afterward in the memoir. The only "anchor" that makes any sense at all with the NBC elitist talking heads is to make Gwenyth Paltrow its anchor. They are equally trained in the same bubble of wealth and privilege hypocrisy. Done. with. NBC.
My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens...and weasels.
One liberal idiot for another. Why not Mika Boobinski who would just have to walk down to a different studio. Poor thing has to sit next to pompous Joe Scarborough every am. Even Matt Lauer is a step up from that.
At least Ann Curry didn't melt into the vanilla pudding like the rest of these skeletal stepfords. I couldn't pick Savannah or Natalie out of a lineup.
I've never understood all the fuss over these morning shows. If the soaps are on their way out, might as well take the morning shows out, too.
If MK had a morning show, I'd listen.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
I find Savannah to be very creepy.
MK, why are you searching "anything with a vagina matt lauer" you fool, lmao! Hope you clicked the "feeling lucky" button. Oh yeah,... ahahha
That Lauer-Jello pic is all kinds of schwing! Hot mama... ≈❀
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░
BOOOOOOOOO!!! I was hoping for Hoda; someone who wouldn't be so damned boring. That's one thing that NBC doesn't seem to recognize--Good Morning America is actually entertaining. Matt and his group of boring bitches will not be helped by adding more Savannah to the bland blend. Hopefully NBC learned their lesson and are giving Savannah a short contract.
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"Somewhere, Jennifer Love Hewitt is vagazzling the words "FUCK MY LIFE" onto her crotch while deep throating a Pillsbury cookie dough roll".--MK
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 06/26/2012 - 2:27pm.
If someone professionally embarrassed me the way NBC is I would not only hold out for my cake but I'd bad mouth them every chance I had so they sliced me a big fucking piece of it real pronto like!
exactly I'd be picking my nose on air, farting, sticking my tongue in Matt's ear...
:D
I watch "Good Day L.A." in the mornings, except for yesterday when Bethanny Fucking Frankel was going to be there for the entire 9:00 hour. I changed the channel at 9:00.
oh, and Jillian is a Kardashian ass kisser, which pisses me off.
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And now I'm hard, too hard to know
I don't cry when I'm sad anymore, no no
Tears calcify in my tummy, fears go inside
How can I ask anyone to love me
When all I do is beg to be left alone?
the only good news to watch in the morning is Greg and Roseanna
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Ann Curry has been getting $10 million a year to whisper her fake concern to celebs?!?!?? That is the most depressing thing I have read all day, and I have been reading about unemployement figures today.
I am no fan of AC's but she is right to GET THAT MONEYS!!
I always LOVE MK's stories of his various friends, pieces, family members and co-workers!!
If someone professionally embarrassed me the way NBC is I would not only hold out for my cake but I'd bad mouth them every chance I had so they sliced me a big fucking piece of it real pronto like!
I will never understand morning "news" shows, or how NBC makes their weirdass decisions. If Today is losing viewers, why the hell do they keep paying out such huge salaries - $25million/yr for Lauer, $10 million/yr for Curry (good lord) - and why does it stay on the air? Is it just that no one wants to kill such an old show? If they want to cater to a younger audience, I'm sure one of the Kardassians would co-host for $10 million a year.
The Today show, Matt Lauer, Jay Leno, Whitney - why the hell does NBC love this shit, and cancel every show I like?
I've never even heard of this person (nor had I heard of that Yoda women prior to the post a few days ago).
I remember that Savannah chick from a long time ago. Cute.
NBC please don't replace Ann with boring old maid Savannah! ATL morning shows are a joke and I really don't want to have to start watching GMA.